Midterms come and go and finals creep up on them. Karina's fallen a little behind in two of her classes and she needs to ace her exams if she wants perfect grades. That means less fencing practice and no Winter. Which means Winter bringing other people home.
Her step sister has grown much more considerate and Karina's grateful for that. She's still loud, yes, but with her door closed and with Karina holed up in her father's study, it's much less bothersome. It is bothersome for other reasons, but Karina's never been one for people ownership so she brushes those reasons aside.
Even if they did roleplay that one time, Winter isn't hers in any way. No matter what her body is telling her. She doesn't consider Winter hers.
Or so she thinks, until she enters the kitchen one day to find some snacks for her tired brain and finds Winter chatting with another blonde girl, both of them in various states of undress. Winter is wearing her usual robe; Karina's come to think of it as Winter's morally ambiguous hero robe. The girl has Winter's shorts and a band t-shirt on, and Karina tries not to look at the way she's tracing her fingers up and down Winter's arm.
She's contemplating turning around and leaving when the girl notices her and speaks in a lovely, mild voice. "Oh. Hello." She casts a quick glance at Winter. "I'm Heejin. You're Winter's sister, right?"
Karina's eyes meet Winter's briefly and she struggles not to cringe. "Step sister, yes."
"Not even that yet, really," Winter adds. She looks as uncomfortable as Karina feels, just for a second before it's gone and she's smiling again. "Karina, Heejin. Heejin, Karina."
She's never introduced her to any of her conquests before.
Heejin is nice enough, Karina thinks. She's soft-spoken and pretty, and she doesn't look older than them. She likes tea and poetry and genuinely laughs at Winter's jokes.
Karina feels like a stranger in her own kitchen, so she stands up and leaves with a customary 'it was nice to meet you' and a long look at Winter.
The blonde averts her eyes first and Karina nods to herself as she goes back to the study.
It doesn't really mean anything, Karina tells herself. She's not sure what exactly she's talking about.
When she bumps into Heejin again, she gets her answer.
(Whatever she and Winter had, it never meant anything.)
Heejin is about to close the door to Winter's room when Karina emerges from hers, ready for her morning jog. She blinks at the blonde, surprised. No one, besides Karina, has ever been to Winter's room twice as far as she knows.
(But it never meant anything.)
"Hey," the blonde whispers, smiling at her in greeting. "Did I wake you?"
Karina looks down at herself, clearly decked in running gear and lifts her eyes to meet Heejin's again, raising an eyebrow.
"Right." The other girl chuckles. "Going for a run."
"Yes," Karina says, still staring at her. The blonde shifts on her feet, visibly uncomfortable. Karina finds she doesn't particularly care. She's still baffled at seeing her again.
"Um, Winter is still asleep," Heejin informs her. "Do you know how she likes her tea?"
Karina blinks and locks her jaw. "She doesn't drink tea."
She turns and leaves Heejin standing there as she descends the stairs. For the very first time, she regrets not taking her headphones with her. Beautiful scenery isn't enough to drown her thoughts out.
The third time she sees Heejin, it's kind of her own fault. Winter and her have an unspoken agreement: when the blonde has a guest over, Karina stays in the study and Winter keeps her door closed. Except that right now Karina's in the hallway, and Winter's door is wide open because she wasn't expecting her to be home so early. Seulgi had to cancel practice for personal reasons and Karina came home two hours earlier than she usually does on Wednesdays. Two long, glorious hours for Winter to spend however she pleases.
She should've known Winter would be having sex. She should've gone to a coffee shop or a music store or anywhere but the house. But she stupidly chose to drive home.
Karina goes over the sequence of events that led her to this moment, to her watching Winter kneel before a sitting Heejin, her face hidden between Heejin's legs. She wanted to stop by the coffee shop and get a latte but it felt weird going there on any day other than Friday. She almost went to the movies but found nothing worth watching. If she got home later, maybe Heejin would have already left. Or, maybe it would have been Winter's turn and Karina would have heard them, well, her, right after entering the house, and she would have left and given Winter time to finish up. Would have driven around town or went to get a smoothie. But she walked in at this exact moment when Winter was giving head to Heejin who generally wasn't very vocal in bed. She didn't hear them. She couldn't hear them. She went up the stairs, frustrated at being thrown off her schedule, and was greeted by Heejin's quiet sighs and the curve of Winter's bare ass as she kneeled in front of her.
This hot, heavy flash in her chest is an unpleasant feeling and Karina doesn't want to experience this again. She wants to storm into her room and slam the door. She wants to storm into Winter's room and throw Heejin out. She does neither.
The door quietly clicks as she slips inside her father's study, taking her books and headphones out.
When Heejin leaves, she enters Winter's room and spends an hour sinking her teeth and nails in the marks Heejin left behind. The blonde doesn't mind one bit and by the end of it, she's too weak to throw Karina out. She simply falls asleep, passes out more like it, breathing deep and even, and Karina has to drag herself out of Winter's bed. She feels better for a whole minute before her eyes fall on Winter's sketchbook on the nightstand. It's opened on the unfinished drawing on Heejin, naked and lounging on Winter's bed.
Karina doesn't have any problem leaving Winter's room anymore. She does find it a little hard to breathe.
--
The feeling, heavy and suffocating, doesn't go away. It sits under her heart, and it's – it's distracting. Yes. That is the word Karina would use to describe it. It's distracting, and she reasons that in order for it to go way, she needs to get rid of the source. She's not about to throw a pillowcase on Winter's head and drive to the woods and leave her cooling body there. She is, however, about to cut certain ties with her step sister.
"Since when do you knock?" Winter grins at her as she opens her door. She looks like she was about to shower: a robe and a messy bun. The again, that's what Winter wears around the house most of the time. She could have been simply relaxing.
The blonde grabs the front of her shirt and tugs her close, trying to capture her lips, but Karina turns her face and Winter's mouth meets her cheek instead.
"Can we talk?" she says quietly, causing Winter to furrow her brows.
"Yeah, sure. Come in." Karina slides past Winter, smoothing her hands over the wrinkles the blonde has left on her shirt. They aren't going away any time soon. Karina sighs. She was much more tolerant about this when she knew she'd get laid after.
She doesn't really know where to start, so she simply blurts it out. "I think we should stop."
To Winter's credit, she doesn't act confused. Her frown deepens. "Why?"
Karina doesn't like to use this word, but the question is pretty stupid. She raises her eyebrows at Winter. "Why?" she repeats, incredulous.
"Yes. Why?"
"Winter," Karina sighs. "What we're doing – it isn't right. We're about to become sisters."
The blonde snorts. "Step sisters," she points out. "Stop giving me bullshit reasons. Me being a minor would've been more believable."
Winter's right, of course. But because she's right, Karina bristles. She may be right, but she doesn't have a right to question Karina's decisions.
"You're seeing someone," she says and oh, this is not the door she wanted to open but Winter has this weird effect on her. "How's that for a reason?" This is completely unnecessary, she chastises herself. But it's too late. Winter's eyes flash with understanding that's quickly replaced by anger and it's the kind of blazing that Karina doesn't want to see. She's used to a different kind of passion in her gaze. And that's the thing. She's gotten used to it. That's the whole problem.
"Wow," Winter says and, despite the word, she's looking positively unimpressed. "You're a lot of things, Karina, but I would've never guessed one of them is a coward."
How entirely unsurprising. Karina stares at her, keeping her face blank. She knows how unnerving it is to Winter. "Enlighten me," she says, her voice even. "How am I a coward?"
"Oh, I think you know how," Winter sneers. She's clutching the ends of her robe, keeping it closed. Karina's fingers itch to tie it for her. She keeps still. "You know," Winter repeats. "You're afraid – or you don't want to admit this... this something, and-"
No. No, Karina's not going there.
"This something?" she asks, interrupting Winter rather rudely. "You mean the something where you manipulated me into your bed? That something? Where you played with me until you got what you wanted? You call me a coward, yet you're the one who couldn't come forward with it." She's never lied more than in this moment. It seems Winter's keen on bringing out the worst in her.
Another lie.
Winter's face is practically red. "I may be a hypocrite, Karina, but you're a liar." Her eyes search Karina's face and her mouth twists in displeasure when she seemingly doesn't find whatever it is she's looking for. "You know what? I don't want to look at you anymore. Get the fuck out."
Karina takes a deep breath. This conversation went exactly the way she feared it would. "I suggest we keep it civil," she tries.
"I suggest you go on a wonderful erotic quest full of self discovery."
She frowns. "Excuse me?"
Winter snorts, "Go fuck yourself, Karina." and promptly storms off. Karina stays in her room for several seconds, listening as Winter tumbles down the stairs, and leaves when she concludes Winter's somewhere downstairs.
As far as productive discussions go, this was not one of them.