Time seemed to warp into an eternity as they waited outside the hospital room.
Çenger looked at his employer. Yaman wore a stoic expression, but his eyes looked like bits of broken glass. He hadn't moved from his spot in hours, refusing the cup of coffee and the bagel Çenger had brought him, because they'd skipped breakfast and lunch.
He wanted to console the man, but what could he possibly say to ease the fear in Yaman's heart- in all their hearts? Seher had been in a fatal accident, that had put her into a coma and even messed up with her memories. The doctors had marked her progress, but who could guarantee that it wouldn't leave long- lasting side effects? Or permanently damage her brain?
Çenger understood Yaman's pain. He knew that kind of pain very intimately. After his wife's untimely death, he'd devoted his life to their son, determined to keep his promise to her and look after him.
But God had other plans.
When his son- Ömer had been painfully ripped away from him, Çenger had no choice but to end his own life too, the loss had been so hard. But Yaman had given him a new opportunity and he had accepted it, because the bond between the three brothers had impressed him. He'd watched them going through hardships and happiness, witnessed Yalçin and Kevser's wedding and Yusuf's birth.
But disaster seemed to strike the family after Yalçin's death.
He'd never believed that Kevser could cheat on her dead husband, but Iqbal's proofs had been convincing and it had always been a sore point for Yaman- his own mother had done the same to his father. In no time, Kevser's mental health had deteriorated and she'd given up trying to prove her innocence. Everything seemed to go downhill after that slander and the mansion had spiralled into a heavy gloom.
Right until Seher had come to their lives.
Çenger wasn't sure at what point he'd become aware of the pull between Yaman and Seher. But he'd been truly happy when they had announced their nuptials and witnessed the formality wedding, that wasn't a formality in any sense- the love in their eyes had been real.
Then Yaman's past demons had caught up with him and God had put them through various tests that would break anyone else apart. But thanks to Seher's forgiving nature and Yaman's relentless determination, they clung to each other, despite everything- their bond was too strong.
He knew nothing could tear these two apart.
Nothing but death.
Çenger glanced at Yaman again. What would happen to him and Yusuf, if Seher died?
"I accepted everything", Yaman raised his voice, startling him out of his thoughts.
Çenger sat down next to him slowly. Yaman's expression was bleak and desolate.
"I accepted my father's death", he said. "I accepted that my mother would never come back. I accepted that my brother Ziya would never be the same- that I'd always have to protect him. Then I accepted every beating, every bullet and every stabbing that came my way. The pain meant nothing to me."
His voice was a broken record, hushed words strung together with despair.
"Then I accepted my brother Yalçin's death. After some time, accepting that my life will always be filled with pain and loss, became natural to me..."
Çenger let him speak, knowing that the words were clawing to get out of his chest.
"Even so, when Yusuf fell sick, I couldn't accept that I'd lose him. I thought I'd die. That grief was too all- consuming," He swallowed. "She helped me. She helped me to have faith in God. She gave me the strength to keep my head high and support Yusuf. She pulled me out of that darkness."
Yaman raised his head, and the broken look in his eyes knocked the breath right out of Çenger.
"I can't accept this. I can't accept if something happens to Seher," he said. "I'll live in denial for the rest of my life. I'll never be the same."
"Nothing will happen to Mrs Seher," Çenger said but Yaman didn't look convinced. Not without tangible proof.
"How couldn't I see that she wasn't fine?" He said. "She was so...pale!"
"Maybe it's just a passing sickness..." Çenger said, but doubt rang in his voice.
"No, this is the payback for every single wrong I've done in my past," Yaman said in a hollow voice. "Only she's the one who's suffering...."
Yaman did that a lot- taking blame for everything that went wrong with their lives. Çenger patted his shoulder, knowing that no words would console him.
"I'm going to say what Mrs Seher said to you, during little master's illness," he said. "Have faith in God..."
Times like these, Çenger was forcefully reminded of something crucial- that despite his tough appearance and unbreakable front, Yaman was still very young. Life still held so much lessons for him.
The door opened and the doctor stepped out. Yaman sprang up to his feet, his movements precise. Only his eyes betrayed his real emotions- he was terrified of what would come next.
"How is my wife, doctor?" He asked.
"Because you told us about Mrs Seher's recent surgery, the first thing we did was doing a MRI scan," the doctor said.
"And?" Yaman asked.
"We could see the trauma she received to her skull, but it's almost healed up, only the imprint remains," he said. "Which means, Mrs Seher's sudden fainting isn't related to her accident. You don't have to worry."
Çenger put down a breath he was holding in. He glanced at Yaman. The relief on his face was palpable.
"Then what's the problem?" He asked.
"We're waiting for the results of her blood tests. In the meantime, you can go see your wife. Her condition seems to be stable," the doctor replied. "Excuse me."
He took his leave and Yaman turned to Çenger, his shoulders slumping with relief.
"Thank God," Çenger said. "Mrs Seher will be alright. Everything will turn out fine."
Yaman drew in a shaky breath.
"Thank you, brother. For being next to me in this hard times," He checked his watch. "It's been almost nine hours. You can go back to the mansion. Tell Yusuf and the others not to worry. I'll wait here until we get the final results."
Çenger nodded, understanding his need to be alone with his wife. He obviously wanted to see that she was fine, with his own eyes.
"Call me, if you need anything."
Then he left. Yaman waited until he disappeared around the corner and opened the door. Seher was propped up against pillows on the bed, looking pale and small, her eyes tired. When she saw Yaman, she managed a faint smile.
"I didn't want to worry you," she said as he took her hand. "I've been feeling sick for some days. I think I caught a stomach bug during the vacation."
"As long as it's something curable," he said in a tight voice. "Don't ever scare me like that again."
He sat on the armchair next to the bed and smoothed her hair away from her face.
"I'm getting sick of hospital rooms," Seher said. "I feel like I spend half of my life in them."
She glanced at Yaman.
"While you're here, why don't you meet up with your doctor? I know you got the final evaluation of your liver transplant but it doesn't hurt to be careful."
"I'm fine," he said. "Let's wait until the doctor comes and hopefully I can take you home. You're right, I'm tired of hospitals too."
They both looked up as the man came back, holding a clipboard. Yaman's fingers tightened over Seher's.
The doctor looked at them carefully, as if he was gauging their emotions.
"I guess congratulations are due here?" He said. "You got worried for nothing, Mr Yaman. Mrs Seher, congratulations! You're pregnant!"
Yaman's heart skipped a beat.
"What?" Seher choked out.
"Yes," the doctor answered. "The blood test indicated the presence of HCG hormone in your blood- which confirms that you're pregnant. We'll have to do more tests to find out how far along you are. Is this your first child?"
"I'm pregnant?" Seher asked again, in a dazed voice.
"Yes," the doctor smiled. "I guess you two need some time to get used to the news. I'll come back later."
Yaman peered into Seher's eyes. The same shock he felt, was reflected in them.
"You're pregnant..." He breathed. "How do you feel?"
Seher's hand unconsciously trailed to her flat stomach, her expression morphing into wonder.
"I don't know," she said. "A baby..."
Her chin trembled and suddenly, her eyes bloomed with unshed tears.
"Seher?" Yaman asked, alarmed.
"This is a good thing, right?" She said. "But I'm afraid to be happy. Things go horribly wrong, when I start being too happy..."
Yaman's heart constricted and he pulled her into his arms, patting her on the back while she shivered in his hold.
"How about you?" She asked. "Are you..."
"I want a baby with you, more than anything else in the world," Yaman said instantly, brushing his fingers through her hair. "Just a moment ago, I was so afraid that I was going to lose you. Now I find out that you're pregnant with our child. It's nothing short of a miracle."
"We're going to be parents...." Seher said in a muffled voice.
Yaman let that sink in. Parents. He was going to be a father. The prospect left him momentarily speechless.
The doctor came back, looking cautious, and they pulled apart.
"I can see that you're happy," he said with a kind smile. "So is this your first child?"
"Yes," Seher answered.
"Then I have to prepare you fully," he said. "You have to be careful. The first trimester is very tricky, and the risk of a miscarriage is too high..."
Yaman tensed.
"A miscarriage?" Seher squeaked.
"Don't be afraid," he said quickly. "With a good diet, and continuous check ups, you'll be able to have a healthy pregnancy. Now I'm going to give you your schedule. Make sure to keep up with all the appointments...."
Seher gave Yaman a terrified look and turned her attention back to the doctor.
He wouldn't let anything happen to her or the baby, He vowed to himself. Never.
Despite the fact that the doctor was still in the room, Yaman grabbed Seher's hand and kissed her knuckles, giving her a reassuring smile.
They could do this.
************************************
"A sibling?" Yusuf jumped up from the sofa. "Are you serious, auntie? I'm really getting a sibling?"
Everyone in the mansion was gathered in the living room, when they delivered the happy news. Neslihan and Çiçek had their hands pressed to their mouths in wonder and Adalet was wiping at her eyes with her sleeve. Ziya was beaming at Yaman and Çenger stood to a side, smiling contentedly.
But Yusuf was obviously the most ecstatic.
Seher smiled, lightly touching her stomach like she constantly did, since she found out that she was pregnant.
"Yes. You're really getting a sibling," she said.
"Is it a brother or a sister?" He asked.
Yaman leaned forward.
"Who would you like?"
Yusuf seemed to think.
"If I get a brother, I can play soccer with him. And I can teach him how to shoot arrows," he said. "But if I get a sister, she will give me hugs like auntie does, won't she? And I can do puzzles with her..."
"Yes, Yusuf. Think it through," Ziya chuckled.
"Then I'm decided," Yusuf said finally. "I want both!"
Yaman and Seher exchanged a look and Ziya burst out laughing.
"But sweetheart, you can do everything you just said, with a brother OR a sister," Seher said. "Girls like shooting arrows too. And boys can love giving hugs."
"I still want both!" Yusuf said, stubbornly.
"We'll see, Little Fire," Yaman said, sounding amused.
"Yaman, Seher- who would you like?" Ziya asked. "A girl or a boy?"
"I don't care. I just want the baby to be healthy," Seher said, instantly.
Yaman hesitated, just for a moment. It was subtle but Seher noticed it. She frowned.
"Same," he said. Then he turned to her. "Come on, now. You need to rest. It's been a long day."
"Of course, you should rest, Seher," Ziya agreed. "Rest good, now..."
"I'll send up some herbal tea to your room," Adalet said.
Once they got into the room, Seher regarded Yaman.
"What was that?" She asked.
"What?" Yaman took off his jacket.
"Just now, when brother Ziya was asking us if we wanted a boy or a girl," she said. "You hesitated. There's someone specific in your heart, isn't there?"
"No...." Yaman said, evasively.
"Oh, come on. Tell me," she said. "I won't be mad."
Yaman looked at her for a moment. Then he took a deep breath.
"If it's a boy, there's a big chance that he'll turn out like me. And I don't want that," he said. "But if it's a girl, she'll be all you...."
Seher laughed.
"I don't think it works quite like that!"
She raised a brow. "So you want a daughter?"
Yaman looped an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.
"I won't say no to a miniature you but no matter the gender, I will love our child with everything I have...."
************************************
Days turned to weeks and soon, the appointment for their first ultrasound arrived.
The doctor had been content with Seher's health, and the risk of a miscarriage had almost passed. They'd put off taking an ultrasound as long as they could, because it took some time for them to get used to the idea of the pregnancy.
But this morning, Seher had told Yaman that she wanted to hear the heartbeat of the baby- and find out its gender. So Yaman had called the doctor and made the appointment for tomorrow.
Now he laid in bed, wide awake, Seher's warm breath fanning his collarbone. Fear and excitement battled in his chest. He didn't even know why he was afraid- she was already showing the baby bump a little now, so her pregnancy was unmistakable. But in a few hours, the full prospect of being parents would be upon them.
Seher stirred beside him.
"Are you awake?" She whispered.
"Yes."
She rolled over so she was leaning on his chest, peering into his face. Her eyes looked like twin gems in the dark.
"You know, we haven't thought of a name for the baby yet..."
Yaman quirked an eyebrow.
"But we don't even know the sex of the baby."
"Yes, but shouldn't we be prepared?" She asked. "I've been giving it some thought. When Yusuf was born, he was given my father's name. Which means my sister got to name him. " She paused. "I think this time, you should choose a name for our baby."
"Really?" Yaman asked.
"Uh huh," Seher smiled. "If it's a boy, what would you call him?"
He thought for a moment. His father hadn't exactly been a role model, despite the fact that he loved them. Yaman loved and respected his father, but naming his unborn child after a man who'd chosen death over his own children, didn't sit well with him.
He briefly wondered if they should name the baby after brother Yalçin, but then dismissed the idea. It would be too weird for Yusuf.
"Arif," he said suddenly.
"What?"
"We should name him 'Arif'," he repeated, this time more confident. "For Arif baba. This is the least we can do for him, after all he's done for us."
"Arif," she mouthed. "That's a beautiful name. I like it a lot. What if it's a girl?"
Yaman's thoughts halted in his head. The woman he loved and respected the most, was lying in his arms and no one else came to his mind. Definitely not his mother, who did nothing but evil to them.
"Let me think," he put his fingers through Seher's hair, reveling in its soft texture. "A girl's name should be based on something meaningful for us too..."
A moment of silence passed. Then he raised his voice.
"How about Yildiz?" He asked.
"Yildiz?" Seher said. "Like Simal Yildiz- our North Star?"
"Yes," He smiled. "It means as bright and beautiful as a star. And who knows, maybe she'll be our guide in the future, like you're mine now..."
Seher's eyes filled with tears. She blinked hard.
"What's wrong, you don't like it?" Yaman asked.
"Stupid hormones," She gave a teary smile. "It's perfect. Everything is so perfect, it feels like a dream!"
Yaman gathered her into his arms and kissed her forehead.
"Everything will be perfect, I'll make sure of that," he said. "Now sleep. Tomorrow is going to be a very special day for both of us."
❤️
So what is it? A girl, or a boy? 🤔
I was thinking the name " Simal" for a girl, but then it's not going to be my original idea, so I dismissed it.
And I'm a Buddhist, so I only have a rough concept of how God and faith works, and I hope I got it right. If I wrote something wrong, please do tell me🤗
Also, I have absolutely no idea how a pregnancy works except for the mechanics and the biological stuff. I'm just winging it here😂😂😁
If you enjoyed the chapter give a vote and drop a comment 😘
-nocturnal4ever