Author's note:
The IRL timeline may not be accurate in this book. After all, this is still fiction.
So, if you reached here after reading Jennie's 6.6 million followers on Instagram on the first chapters, keep in mind I started the timeline at 2018, and we are now currently in 2019.
It's been a long time, everyone! Why are you still here? jk. :)
This is a multi-layered flashback, I hope you still get to understand the events. Heehee.
Enjoy. We're almost over.
<3
XX
Until you come back, I'll be standing right here.
[May 11, 2019]
Kim Taehyung's Point of View
Frustrated, Taehyung can only spin his ring on his middle finger, the other half of what he gave his (ex) girlfriend on his birthday. His left hand held his phone resting on his lap as he found comfort in sitting cross-legged on the floor, back resting on the wall. It was their break time in the practice room when he decided to search for Blackpink's concert performances on YouTube to feed himself some Jennie updates. From her 16 Shots fan cam, to a video of her crying while singing Stay, he feels his heart getting pinched every minute reality slaps him of could-have-beens. If it wasn't for their break, he knew he would have been listening to her every night after their concert, telling each other their tour stories, sharing each other's worries, and spending time together if time permits they are both in Seoul before travelling again in a different tour city.
But his decisions led him to misery this day. She, and her members, blocked her on all communication means. He could not find the right timing when they are in the same country at once. Hence, all he could do was just to sigh.
"Posture!" He felt a sting on his back, only to see Seokjin hovering him, a face towel on hand that he used to flick on him. He sits straight as his hyung sit beside him. "You're slouching and sighing as if you broke up with the girlfriend you love dearest?," teasing him in a singsong manner.
Taehyung, eyes back on his screen, mindlessly nods. But giddy Seok-jin did not notice, as he scooches closer to him to watch his phone screen, currently playing Jennie's Solo performance in Coachella Day 2.
"You're watching their Coachella clips? They're so good, right?" Jin laughs, spinning the face towel he's holding on his hands. "Did you know Jisoo-ssi wrote the Korean translation of her Clarity special stage on their concert? And some people say she was sick on one of the Coachella nights but you can't really see her suffering. I saw that fact on Twitter. She's really good."
Taehyung diverts his eyes to his hyung, still focused on the video. "You sound like a creep."
"Aish. You need to stop hanging out with Kookie. You sound the same." Seok-jin stares back at him, as long as he can, his hyung trying to stare him down. Taehyung just raises his eyebrow. When his hyung knows he's losing, he blinks hard multiple times trying to distract Taehyung, but he didn't flinch. "Aish. I'm just sharing, idiot! Just be bothered because Jennie-ssi sings her song all too well. Isn't that song about a breakup she went through?" Jin laughs ridiculously loud to tease him. "One more clip and I'd assume she broke up with you!"
"She already did."
"Good for you--" Seok-jin laughs at him, but abruptly stops when Taehyung was not laughing with him, and instead was staring at him blankly. Taehyung waited a few seconds. "WHAT?!?!?!?!"
Other than him, some of their managers and members were startled with Seok-jin's loud scream. Taehyung understood; he did not tell anyone the current situation they were in, except for Jimin and Jungkook who caught on because he was careless enough to do so. His silence most of the time was not even suspicious at all to the members, because that was his usual state. He tries to be jolly as much as he can when Hoseok or Jungkook tries to set up a cheery mood during their free times, and he still gets pumped up while in concert because of their fans' cheers. Namjoon would often tease him, when he's on his phone, that he wanted to use his free time talking to his girlfriend. The other members join the teasing galore, and he pretends to blush without denying he was whipped for his girlfriend. Jungkook would always go to his back to shake him to tease him, but with a hidden back soothe to comfort him afterwards. Jimin would always laugh, but his eye smile never reaches his ears. They knew that in reality, he was trying to compose his message to explain himself to her, delete and rewrite them on his Notes app, waiting for a chance she would unblock him anywhere to send his words.
"Calm down, hyung." He sighs deep. "Nobody else needs to know so please, keep quiet."
Seok-jin raises his peace sign to everyone before, in a shush, comes close again to him. "Since when?"
Taehyung pauses his video. He's sure he wouldn't be watching her video properly now. But even before he locks his phone screen, he receives a notification.
My First Love
(@onebei)
My First Love
:p
My First Love
Like a breeze, Taehyung stood up and rushed out of the practice room to his car. He says to the room he had to go for... something, and he can only hear Jin's fading protest as he gets further from them. While running towards his car, his fingers still tried to find its way to the call feature to confirm what he was thinking, and when he finally reached his driver's seat to connect his phone on the car's Bluetooth, the other line kept rejecting his calls.
My First Love
Stop calling me
My First Love
Don't tell me you're still fucking dense
My First Love
I can't do this anymore, Kim Taehyung!!!!!!!!
My First Love
Don't call me I'm driving her home
My First Love
From the studio
My First Love
Do whatever you want with that information good god
Finally.
And so while driving straight from practice to the Pink's dorm compound, all he thought was the right things to tell her. Or is there a right way to redeem himself after all this mess? He blew things out of proportion because of his silence. And a lot of confusion going on in me, admittedly. He knew he was not a stupid person. When the members, his parents and fans tell him he's bright and smart in his own way, he could not help but acknowledge it, telling to himself that he knew they were right. But for the first time in his life, his stupidity jumped out of him now that he fell in love. It was not because of Jennie per se. It's because he knew he could not formulate the right words to explain something he knew he did wrong. If he did, he would not even stay silent.
And he did not share to anyone the full context of his mistake, even to his best friends. They only knew, and told him, that he did something wrong to Jennie that's why they were in that situation.
But somehow, he found himself sharing his story to Kim Hanbin, Jennie's very own best friend. The one he was jealous of unreasonably. It took time and willpower for him to message Hanbin at first about the discovery he thought he had, a few days after Hanbin fetched Jennie to come home that January morning. Taehyung wanted to tell him a few words of defeat, believing first love never dies, that Hanbin was the name Jennie continuously says while being drunk... And on that phone call, Hanbin's first sentence to him... was a series of curse words calling him stupid. At that moment, he was stunned, since it was the first time for them to be that casual. But later on, he found himself listening to his long lecture: how he was not Jennie's first love, how stupid he was to base how he treats Jennie while she was drunk that night, how he had to comfort Jennie the whole day Taehyung was gone which was something he was supposed to do while they were both in his parents' house... and a lot more. Of course, Hanbin was Team Jennie, and he only wanted his best friend to finally stop doubting and formulating possible scenarios that led to this bump in their relationship. And so Hanbin told him to explain himself to her, at the very least, before her birthday. They will be starting their world tour anyways soon, "Wouldn't it be nice if you're still in a relationship while on tour? A long distance relationship by both idols, going strong. So sweet!" Hanbin says sarcastically. Actually, teasingly.
But obviously, Taehyung fucked up.
He became too weak when he saw her crying at her room, seemingly disgusted at him, not letting him touch her or even come near her.
He even had the audacity to talk back to her, as if it wasn't his fault they were hurting.
I'm not like you, Taehyung. I won't do what you're doing to me.
She was right. He was projecting to her what he would have done. About first loves.
She was in so much pain. While there he was, on the days before the eve of her birthday, contemplating on his grand gesture to show how sorry he was. He wanted to give her gifts, show up on the night before her birthday, welcome 12 o'clock with her, be with her the first second of January 16...
Fucking stupid.
And he fell apart before they were parted by the elevator door. Hanbin was giving him questioning looks, curious of what was happening because this was not part of his advice to him. But at that moment, his eyes were only on Jennie. Even though he could not meet her orbs with her sunglasses on, he knew she was crying still.
Let's break up for now.
And the next day, he found himself flooding Hanbin drunk texts calling himself stupid.
It took days before Hanbin replied to him, which was understandable. In fact, it took Hanbin almost a month, just days before Valentines day, and days before Taehyung flies to America for their world tour. Hanbin gave him an access to his studio inside the YG building. He just brought food, but Hanbin had other plans: he hid beers and soju bottles on his studio fridge.
He got scolded for hurting his best friend. And when Taehyung asked about Jennie, Hanbin swore not to open anything from Jennie to him. "You just looked like you need someone to listen to you." Hanbin shrugged his shoulder. "You look miserable. Aren't you supposed to be, like, your group's visual or something?"
"I'm also a lead dancer and vocalist, you know."
"I'm not saying your just a visual. I'm judging you for something else."
He paused. And chuckled. Hanbin also silently chuckled with him. He reaches for the beer bottle Hanbin was offering him, as he slouches on the sofa in front of Hanbin's swivel chair. They clink their bottles, before chugging almost half of their drinks.
"I don't drink alcohol that much, by the way." Taehyung declares, obviously driven by it now. "Will you take me home?"
"Crawl home." Hanbin laughs at him. "I didn't pressure you!"
"I know." He laughs, resting the back of his head on the sofa.
Then, silence.
As he stares at the ceiling of the studio, his mind reels that Friday, that day, when Jennie was supposed to meet his parents.
-
It was supposed to be a weekend for the two of them, with his family, touring their town, the places he grew up on, the farm he built and took care of for his grandmother, her grave to formally meet her... but even before the day started, it was already interrupted by an unwelcome visitor, Choi Hye-sun, his childhood friend, and admittedly, his first love. He was shocked to see Hye-sun on their place uninvited, and he can only feel his face flush as he remember it was only a few days before when he talked about his first love with Jennie.
He knew it was wrong, but he felt his heart skip a beat when he saw Hye-sun again. He knew it probably was because the saying was true: a man's first love, despite going on with their lives and even after getting married, would always have a special spot in their hearts. She looks better compared to the last time they saw each other, which was five years ago. Like her nickname, Sun-i or Sunny, she could light up a room with her energy. But the "special" feeling became just a spur of the moment, when her energy became too overwhelming for him that she starts to dominate and push aside Jennie on her own way. He was warning her in whispers to be polite, as there was another person with them and she's not the only guest in that house.
Half of the time, he was not even listening to her rambles as he worriedly steal glances at Jennie, who oftentimes was just focused on her food. It made him smile seeing his mother talking to her, and Jennie warming up to his parents despite having no guidance or directions from him.
He had always known she could do it.
Jennie was a sunshine on her own. She came off a little shy at first, both on his parents and based on his own experience as well; but later on, she was a comforting warmth for him. Just by a smile, or her voice, and every waking moment they get to spend together, he knew enough he could not live without her anymore. Not anymore.
And that made him warm inside, too.
But the warmth suddenly cools down after hearing Hye-sun's voice again, now feeling like icicles: too cold, too sharp, too dangerous. In his ears, at least. She kept calling him Honey bear, that cheesy call sign she made up for him after he called her Sunny.
"Are you a child? Stop calling me that."
"But that's my nickname for you!"
"Call me V instead." He felt he did not even want her to call him by his real name.
He looks up, conscious of Jennie's outlook of their situation. But she was still whisper talking to his mother while stirring her food. Probably getting her recipe. And he starts to imagine her future, his Abu bonding with his mom on the kitchen, exchanging recipes for a Chuseok holiday, while he sits behind the counter, preparing her ingredients to cook.
Cheesy call signs... I did invent 'Abu.' ... And it's fine! It's for Jennie, anyways.
Heehee. Jennie as my wife? Interesting...
He chuckles on his own. It's also a relief Hye-sun finally falls silent, the longest being a minute. But it was replaced by a screaming man, which was actually Jennie's ringtone. He panics, thinking something may have happened, but she calmly went out of the house to answer the call.
It was finally his chance to scold his childhood friend. He turns to her, staring deadpan on the door Jennie left off of. "Hey, Choi Hye-sun--"
"I don't trust that girl, honey bear." She shakes her head. "Stop being friends with her. You trust my instincts always, right?"
"We haven't met in five years, stop being ridiculous."
She shakes her head. "I can feel she's pretending to be nice. You guys have to see it!--"
"You're being rude since earlier. Stop talking. Or you're getting out of this house, I'm not kidding."
The girl stares back at him with the same intensity, as his parents meaningfully look at him. He knew they wanted him to do more, but this hopefully settles things for now. He'll do more when they get there. She excuses herself as she gets out of the house through the side door, telling every one she just needed to get fresh air.
But perhaps he was just blinded by anger that moment, that he was not able to do anything other than to watch. Why was he mad that time though?
Is it because Jennie had to call a friend to find her way out of this situation, instead of summoning him? Partly. He heard Kim Hanbin's name again. He knew he should not have been jealous of him; she has always told him he had no reason to. But it was reasonable to be bothered, right? Hanbin knew her for a long time before he did. Who knew if they had something more than being friends?
But more importantly, he was mad because his childhood friend, Choi Hye-sun, kept on saying mean things against his girlfriend. She claimed Jennie was taking a phone call from Hanbin, telling him to fetch him. Hye-sun crept in and eavesdropped to prove her point, and it was too much to take for him. Although there was a pinch in his heart when he knew Jennie wanted to get out of this place, which he knew was his fault anyways, he projected his frustrations on the situation as he dragged Hye-sun out of the house and into his car to leave.
He could not even look at her in shame.
Choi Hye-sun kept playing the victim card, as she brags to him how she was right: that Jennie was a pretentious bitch acting all nice when she even had the audacity to talk back to her in front of his parents. And she turned his parents against her! She knew she was bad news the moment she stepped foot at the Kim's house--
"Shut the fuck up, Choi Hye-sun!!!" Taehyung could not help but burst, as he abruptly stopped his car, pulling up on the side of the road. In shock, mouth agape, she only stared at him. "I'm trying my best here to be, at the very least, an old friend of yours. One more word out of your mouth against Jennie and I won't know what I'll do to you."
Finally, he said his thoughts out loud. Taehyung mentally tapped his shoulder, especially because at the rest of the ride, Hye-sun was finally silent. But when they reached her grandmother's house, it was closed and there was no one home. She reasons out, she came home a little bit early so no one knew she was coming and her relatives were on the nearby province of her grandfather to celebrate something. So they drove around to find her an inn, and every time they do stop over somewhere, it would be either full, or she didn't like the ambiance. He could not leave him alone anyways since it has been a long time since she came home. It's understandable for her to be unfamiliar with their town, since a lot has changed in it in a short period of time.
Now that he's looking back, he only came to realize she was stalling him.
And so shortly, while driving around, they were passing by their high school, and since Hye-sun was behaved for their whole ride, he obliged when she wanted to get down and walk around. He parked his car in front of their favorite snack stall, run by an ahjumma now in her 70s, still with the radiant eye smile welcoming every student and youth that came here. He let Hye-sun get down first as he stayed in his car, his mind never leaving Jennie back home.
She'll be okay, right? He felt sorry enough he had to leave her. But she's with his parents. He's sure they won't be leaving her on her own. Right?
To cut this time with Hye-sun short, he called one of his good friends and middle school batchmates to ask if he had any available rooms in his hotel, just half-hour away from the main town. He was about to get ready with his GPS when Hye-sun knocked on his car window. He lowered it to hear her out, only for her to snatch his phone away from him. She told him to get down and eat tteokbokki and odeng with her, just like old times.
"Loosen up, will you!"
And he obliged because he was hungry. But shortly he tries to grab his phone back, only for her to pull it away and start to run, heading towards their high school campus.
And then that moment, everything started to blur. He knew his main goal was to get his phone back from her. But while he was chasing her, she kept saying... things. Things that gave him butterflies in his stomach. Things from the past when life was simpler than now. When he was away from the spotlight not just by the stage but also by the people around him. Back when he was just... Taehyung.
Strolling around the school brings back his best days for him. The sun was already setting when they reached his favorite place: a bench overlooking the school field below, where he used to stay every break he had. It was the best place to overlook the students doing their own things, and the perfect spot to capture the sky and nature using his point and shoot cameras. While Hye-sun was still walking away to keep his phone, he sat on the bench as he watched the sky slowly change its colors.
He misses the life he had before.
And on his mind, while his eyes were closed, he imagines taking Jennie into this place with him. Jennie... he smiles. He missed the snack bar. He missed running around town. He missed the peace, the breeze, the feeling of being at home here. And he wanted to take Jennie around to introduce her a part of what he is, of the place who helped him to become himself now. It would be nice to do this tour tomorrow with her. A little extension would not be bad, right?
But then, he was stunned when he felt something warm on his lips. When he opened his eyes, he saw Hye-sun, in front of him, pressing her lips against his, her fingers on his chin. Before she could even part his lips, he pushed her away.
"What the hell is wrong with you?!"
"You're meant to be with me, Taehyung." She smiled bitterly. "I know you know that."
He could only laugh at himself in disbelief. What the fuck just happened? "I've moved forward, away from you!"
"We promised, didn't we?" Hye-sun took a step closer to him, but he stepped back, keeping a safe distance from her. "We'll pusue our dreams. You'll be an idol, I'll be good in Canada, and soon we'll see each other as the best version of ourselves, that's why we broke up. Right? You were so devastated to see me ask for your time so even though I didn't want to, we had to break up. Because we don't want to pull each other back."
Taehyung clenched his fists. He didn't make any promises. He broke up with her for a reason beyond debuting and her Canada. "Don't make me lose the last ounce of respect I had for you."
"Taehyung, I'm here now!"
"I'm grateful you brought me in this place, Hye-sun." He sighed. "I was grateful you were a part of my life--my best friend and first love, even, so I wanted to make you look like you're still one of the best people I know. More than a friend, you were once my family."
He was trying his best to be composed, although he could already feel his veins popping on his neck. He was brought back to the same hell he went through before his debut. And now... even the anger he could have felt and let out earlier today, when she kept spitting words against his love.
"Do you think I wouldn't know you cheated on me with Geon-hee?"
Geon-hee was one of his friends in high school. Other than Hye-sun, Geon-hee took him in as his tag-along when his group of friends went to hangout around town after class.
On the latter part of his relationship with Hye-sun, she would rarely visit him, but would still often brag to the girls in their school that her boyfriend Taehyung will debut soon as an idol. But Taehyung learns eventually, from Geon-hee himself, that she already broke up with Taehyung because he was always busy. Geon-hee admitted to falling for Hye-sun, as she always looked weak and dejected and he wanted to take care of her. He was apologetic to Taehyung for it. But without confronting her of what she did, Taehyung just wanted to end things with her, in mind that they were in good terms.
In reality, he became bitter after that.
Now he knew she didn't deserve the excuse he gave himself of her.
She was dumbfounded hearing him say those words.
Remembering the kiss, Taehyung was brought back to the thought of his girlfriend worrying for him. Jennie... He then swiftly grabs his phone from Hye-sun's grip, and runs back to his car to be home with her. What were you thinking, staying away from her this long, Kim Taehyung? Fuck nostalgia. Without waiting for the girl, he opens his car and brought down her luggages, and drove back home to her.
He reached home in the night's darkness, mentally slapping himself at the back of his head for taking this long. He knew he had to make up to her tomorrow, and that he had to show how sorry he was for doing so. He was welcomed by his mother, scolding him of the lost time, telling him to sleep on the guest room instead. Thinking she wanted them to sleep together in one bed, Taehyung thought of sorting out himself alone first on his bedroom.
But to his surprise, Jennie was there instead. With makgeolli bottles on her side and at hand. She looks back at him, eyes lightening up. He smiles too.
"Oh, it's Taehyungieee!"
He chuckles as he watch her try to stand, doing little jumps, waving her hand to come near her. She was giggling, and he giggles to as he find her endearing. He hugs her tiny waist to pull her close to him, as she looks up to him while cupping his cheeks. "I'm sorry for making you wait."
She pouts, and removes his arms on her as if realizing late that she was upset with him. "How was your day with your first love?" She sits back down again, cross-legged, her back resting on the side of his bed. He follows and sits beside her. "This was supposed to be our day..." she says in tiny, and pout. She was about to drink from the bottle but he gently pulls it away from her. She whines and pulls away the bottle from him.
"I'm sorry..." He reaches for her free hand, trying to intertwine them, but she tries to resist. She's cute when she's whiny. So he settled for holding her palm instead, drawing circles on the back of her hand. "Sorry she's rude to you, and I wasn't able to say anything. Sorry I had to leave you here."
"Not okay, Taehyung-ssi." She stood up again, trying to balance herself to walk back to his shelf to get his Sunny album. He can only watch her, until she sits on his bed, opening the album again. He sits beside him. "You're keeping this, too. It's upsetting."
He laughs as she watches her pout and turn the pages. It was funny for him, because he has not opened that, nor seen that for a long time until now. It was amusing to see her jealous in person.
"So she's your first love? How did you meet? Why did you break up?"
She looks up to him, pouting again, with her puppy eyes.
"Do you still like her?"
He shakes his head with a smile, and imitates her pout. "No, why would I?"
"You spent your day with her."
"It wasn't my intention. I just took her home, but there was no one there so we had to look for an inn for her. At the very least, she's still family that I had to take her, but I'm not nice enough to take her in here after what she did."
"Family?"
He lies down on his bed, staring at the ceiling above him. He turns to her and taps the space beside him. Jennie shakes her head, and chugs down on her bottle. He sighs, and chuckles. He hasn't seen a girl drink like this, but he lets her do what she wants to.
"I told you before, right? I met her at school. But it turns our, she was a daughter of my parents' childhood friend. We had an understanding between us after being with each other almost every day, until we started dating lowkey for 5 years. Only our families knew, we wanted to hide it from the rest of the school because I hated attention. But at some occasions, we couldn't help it." He points at the picture on the album, when they were both captured beside each other after Hye-sun's pageant. "Then I trained under a small company back then, and things were hectic, she became demanding, she cheated on me—"
She gasps. "Cheated?! Did you tell me that before?"
He shakes his head. "No. I haven't told anyone about it, even her. I didn't tell her I knew. But I broke up with her saying I don't want to make her feel she was equally important as my training. I don't want to make her feel she has a competition for me. But at the time, I really had to focus on debuting. So I broke us up. I could not make her wait for me to debut before I focus on her again. I'd like to think we were good then. At the time, I thought she at least deserved being free from me and she needed someone who gives her so much that I couldn't give. She supported me when I debuted. But in one of our gatherings, the guy she cheated on me with told me she shared different stories with other people. She said we were already broken up when she made moves towards the other boys. So my heartbreak got triggered, I became mad, and knew I had to be single for the rest of my years in the spotlight. Relationships are nasty. Work's my priority. But then everything changed, for the better because—"
"I came, I know." She sighs and lies beside him, facing him. He laughs.
"I told you to be honest with me, right?"
"That's what you said when we talked in your bedroom, too. That's why I said why I said just now."
She finally smiles and looks up at the ceiling, with Asian blush at her dumpling cheeks. Taehyung suddenly craves for Korean dumplings in chili sauce even though he didn't like spicy food that much. He lies on his side to see her better. She was still smiling. But shortly, she suddenly frowns. "I won't remember a thing you'll say tonight."
"What?" He chuckles.
"I'm going to be honest with you." She was talking in slurred, but he still waits. "Since you told me about your first love."
"Why? You'll be telling me about yours?" She nods repeatedly. "Who is it, that bastard you met from New Zealand?" She hits her mouth. "Ouch!"
"No bad words!" She slightly opens her eyes. "No, that's a 강아지 (gangaji) love. Puppy. Love. That's stupid."
"You're really drunk, aren't you?" He chuckles again. "If not him... then, is it Song Mino, right?"
But Jennie just laughs. And it's longer than the laughs she's had before. And he laughs with her, despite feeling wary.
Now that he's looking back, she already told her the truth even before that night. He should've believed him. It was really Song Mino.
But no, he assumed on his own that she lied. That it was Kim Hanbin. She's calling for his name because on the floor was her phone, vibrating, his caller ID on screen.
He was calling her because she wanted to get home. And when she passed out drunk, he stood up to search for her phone to answer his call.
"Hey, Jennie Kim!!! What is happening now? I'm not picking you up tonight if that's your favor today! I told you to solve this with your boyfriend! Is he still not there? Should I call him?"
"He's here, Kim Hanbin-ssi." Taehyung sighs.
"Bro what happened? Is she okay? Are you both okay? Did you know how anxious she was the whole day? She's been calling me. You have to calm her down, okay?"
"She's fine now but... I do need your help, Hanbin-ssi. Can you... pick her up tomorrow? I'll give you our address."
"Why don't you do it your own? You went there together, go home together. I'm sure she has a lot of questions. She typically makes up her own scenarios dangerously when—"
"She needs you more, Hanbin-ssi." He feels his heart clench against his chest. "A-And I had change of plans. She needs to go home by tomorrow for her tour."
There was silence at the other line. All he can hear was Hanbin's breathing.
"Can I—"
"Kim Taehyung." Hanbin's voice piercing through his ears, more authoritative and scary than how they first started to talk. "If tomorrow I see Jennie crying after picking her up, I don't know what I'll do to you."
But Hanbin still came at the beach that morning. And as they drive away, he started to realize his own stupidity of suddenly giving up. He chased them, wanting to take her back and still stay together in his town for one more day to make up for the lost time, or at least drive home together so he can explain himself, and answer her questions... but he saw them. She was crying. Hanbin was there for her. His heart ached.
And from then on, he didn't know what he should do.
-
"And you're telling me all of this because...?"
Taehyung gets back from his trance, to Kim Hanbin's studio. He didn't know he was unconsciously telling her friend out loud what really happened that day. He thought he was just recalling it for his own sake. Accepting his own fate, he raised his shoulder, head shaking. "I thought you think I needed someone to talk to?"
"I'd like to punch you once you get back to your senses." He rolls his eyes. "Have you told this already to, I don't know, your girlfriend?"
"You've been with us that day. She broke up with me. I wasn't able to say anything."
"You were silent?!"
Pulling him out of trance from his own thoughts were the blinking lights from the basement parking lot entrance of her apartment complex. He sighed in relief after finally spotting a parking space for him, before finally killing his engine.
This was finally the day. After recalling Hanbin's multiple scolding on multiple occasions, he knows how he'll fix this. He'll tell her he's extremely sorry. He'll clarify what happened that day. He'll explain he had no feelings for Hye-sun. He'll admit to being an asshole for hurting her for a long time. He'll convince her to give him another chance to be back in her life, to prove himself worthy of her. He'll do these whatever it takes. He'll make up with her, with a clear mind, well-heard intentions, with a strong heart.
He'll make her love him again. And he'll use words this time. She deserves it.
He started calling Hanbin's number, since he needed a resident to enter the building. Luckily enough, Hanbin arrives in his scooter, parks it and skips to the door with a black plastic on hand. Taehyung rushes to him, startling Hanbin.
"What the—You're in Korea?! I didn't know you'll be here!"
"She's home, right? Take me to her, please. It'll be short. I'll make it right, I promise!"
Hanbin facepalms and slaps his forehead multiple times. He didn't even think he'll be here. He just wanted to tease Taehyung and nothing else. And what would Jennie think if he brought him up there? They were just planning to eat tteokbokki tonight...
But Hanbin still pulled him in as he taps his keycard on the basement sliding door, up until they came to the elevator to go up to her. Maybe it's really time, so he warned her of what was to come.
And Taehyung was silent. It was the first time he was slowly feeling peace. The elevator lift felt like he was really being taken to transendence, that everything hopefully would make things right the next moment he'll step at this very elevator again, when he gets home.
And when the elevator finally dinged on her floor, he lets out a deep sigh. Hanbin pushes him off of the box.
"Go do well, monkey boy." Taehyung faces Hanbin, who stayed put. "Suit yourself. I'll be Team Jennie all the way." Then, the doors closed.
Thank you, Hanbinnie. He closes his eyes for a few moments, before finally turning his heel to the direction of their dorm door.
Use words. Explain yourself. Win her trust again. If you really, really love her, tell her. His mind suddenly plays one of Blackpink's song, a bop that grew on him. The song that listed the simplest things a relationship should have. And the way Jennie sang her verse, it felt like she was scolding him.
It's not complicated, as easy as one, two, three
Imagine how it'll be when we become one
It's time. Taehyung shook his shaking hand, raising it in a fist to finally knock. But before it gets in contact with the door, it suddenly opens in front of him.
He was breathless, both in shock, and of being dumbfounded again for the nth time. Get your shit together, Kim Taehyung! But he still could not fathom the sight straight in front of him.
His heart continue to ache.
But before he would do something he would regret again, he did the only thing he had been thinking of doing since the last day he saw her.
He took a few gentle steps forward before enveloping the woman in front of him, into a hug.
He was so sure of what he'll be doing once he sees her. He knew he should be using words he failed to use before. But seeing her standing before him, with those doe eyes of her, he couldn't help but feel weak. He longed for her for the longest time. All he wanted to do was to feel her again, and show her himself. Like what Hanbin told their group chat, he's fine with a closure or a clarification between them. He'll give what Jennie wants, even if closure was never an option for him.
And so he felt fear in his heart, clouding his head. Piercing his chest. He had been in front of this door multiple times enough to hate the feeling of being unwelcome to it.
But as always... isn't amazing to feel calm, at peace with the help of someone?
Taehyung's eyes started to water, as he felt a soothing hand on his back. He tightened his grip on her, nuzzling his nose on her neck.
Jennie hugged him back.