Chapter LIV
YEAR 2017
"She's my possession. It's my decision to either let her live or die completely."
I want to die.
What welcomes you is a well-ventilated room, warm and soft bed, and a body that wants to give up anytime soon. You can't fully open your eyes because you feel so weak. You don't know how long you've been unconscious but even right now, you feel an excruciating pain in your body.
You can also hear some devices beeping beside the bed. There's probably a device that monitors your heart beats and a dextrose.
Despite your close eyes, you know that you are wearing something like a hospital gown since your clothes right now feel comfortable. There are bandages around your body. Your cheeks and jaw are aching so bad. You feel sick and immobile. Still, you can't push away the thoughts in your mind before you fall unconscious.
Manjiro's been watching the whole time. He knows you're being beaten and tortured but he didn't even interfere until you're almost near to your death. He probably hates you so much now.
I deserve it.
You close your eyes and rest to regain your strength. When you feel better, you want to talk to Manjiro.
—
You feel your hands getting handcuffed above your head at the headboard of the bed and later on, a heavy thing crawls up on you. It is a person's weight. Your wrists are aching since it hasn't healed properly yet. You want to escape but you can't move.
Suddenly, you feel a lips brushing on the side of your neck and you moan in protest. The person at the top of you starts licking and sucking the skin on your neck violently. You don't want any of this at all right now. Your entire body hasn't healed yet and you don't know who's at the top of you.
"P-Please stop..." You whispered weakly and a small gasp escaped from your lips as you felt that person tore your clothes apart.
"You're mine." The man whispered and you recognized Manjiro's deep voice on it.
You love him so much and you are longing for him, but right now, you don't want to engage in any sexual acts with him. You clenched your fist as he began squeezing your breast forcefully, without showing any mercy. He starts squeezing it like he doesn't care whether you get hurt or not.
"Manjiro... stop...please." You pleaded but he didn't listen.
You moan in pain as you feel two of his fingers thrusting inside you without any care. It is thrusting forcefully and your tears fall down your cheeks. You love him but you want him to stop.
"N-No... no... please... please stop... Manjiro... I don't want it...please, don't..."
You cried and cried as you feel him thrust his shaft inside you forcefully. You keep on pleading for him to stop because it hurts. He's not being gentle at all. It also hurts knowing that he doesn't respect your consent as well.
Your tears are unstoppable and—
"(Y/N)." He whispered.
"I-It hurts, s-stop please..."
"(Y/N)..."
"Manjiro... n-no..."
"(Y/N)!" A firm voice calling you makes your eyes shot open. Your vision focuses on the white ceiling and your cheeks are wet from the tears.
Right now, no one is at the top of you and you are fully clothed. No one is raping you and when you look at the side, you see a pair of eyes looking at you. His face is calm and his eyes are blank, but there is a small glint of concern in those deep eyes.
Your heart starts racing inside your chest.
It's just a dream.
You know that at this very moment, you look messed up and helpless. Tears are flowing down your cheeks and you're probably filled with bruises. Manjiro is sitting just beside your bed and he's looking at you like he's calmly observing you.
"Manjiro." You whispered. Your voice is faint and your body still feels weak. You smile a little in relief as you close your eyes again.
It's just a dream, (Y/N). Manjiro will never do any cruel things like that.
He remained silent.
Since your eyes are close, you can only feel his presence looking at you. You're too weak to speak any further. You are feeling dizzy but you are scared to fall asleep again. You are scared of that dream.
"You are trembling," He whispered in a calm and low tone. His voice penetrates deep down your heart and it gives you shivers that you can't quite explain, "Are you scared of me?"
"I'm...not." You tried to respond despite your vulnerable state.
"Where does it hurt?" Manjiro asked in a calm manner.
You don't know why he's suddenly asking questions like this but still, you're glad that he's here with you. You are still burdened by what you've done but since there's a lot of emotions inside you right now, you want to just focus first with the fact that you are talking to the man you love at this moment.
"I'm fine..." You whispered, lying.
Manjiro stared into your eyes but you didn't see it.
"Don't move." He stated calmly and you feel his thumb gently touching the side of your lips.
You groan a little in pain and sensitivity. Then, a cold feeling touches that pain and when you slightly open your eyes, you see Manjiro gently putting some ointment on your bruises. He's focused on what he is doing and his hands are light and gentle. He adds ointment on your cheeks and jaw as well.
"You hate me, don't you?" You mumbled weakly. You look into his eyes to see the truth but you can't read him at all.
He didn't reply. He's just gently mending your bruises silently.
Your eyes are filled with pain as you smile a little and avert your gaze, "W-why did you just watch, Manjiro?" You whispered and your voice is trembling, "Y-you should have been the one who beat and torture me up. You.. should have killed me instead after what I've done—"
"What do you want to eat?" He asked calmly, cutting your words.
He's averting this topic.
"I d-don't think I can chew food right now." You answered honestly.
Since Sanzu pretty much enjoyed making you his own punching bag, you promised yourself to kick his balls so hard someday that he would tell you to just kill him. That's one of your goals in life because Sanzu annoys you so much. You want to break his egg down there.
Manjiro stood up and went outside.
You look around only to see a comfortable room. The ceiling is pure white and the room is spacious enough. You are laying down on a king-sized bed with golden sheets and you are indeed wearing a hospital gown. There is a dextrose connected to your wrist and an apparatus for your heart rate. Your body is indeed wrapped with bandages.
After a while, he enters again with a tray of food in his hands. He put the tray on the bedside table and get a bowl of porridge. He looks into your eyes emotionlessly as he calmly feeds you.
Silence.
There is silence as you slowly munch your food. He's also silent while feeding you himself. Manjiro's being a mystery to you again. He watched you being tortured like hell but right now, he's feeding you as if he wants to take care of you as well. You don't if he hates you or not but there's only one thing that you are sure of.
You are his possession. It is his decision whether he'll hurt you or take care of you.
After eating, he stood up and was about to hold the tray and went outside when you whispered something.
"I'm sorry."
"..."
He stopped and gave you a hollow, cold glance. His lips are pressed together in a calm manner and his gaze is penetrating. You can't read his emotionless eyes as it is as deep as void.
"Manjiro, I apologize for what I've—"
"It is all a game to you, isn't it, (Y/N)?" He asked in a cold manner while staring straight into your eyes.
A sharp pang of pain shoots directly into your heart. How will you even tell him that you truly love him after betraying him like that? Will he trust you? Will he believe you?
"No... I truly lo—"
You stopped as he leaned closer towards you and softly touched your lower lip while coldly looking into your eyes. His face is an inch away from you and you feel your heart racing fast inside you.
His eyes are filled with danger. Despite its coldness, you can sense a dangerous predator within it, lurking and waiting for a trigger to take over the man you are seeing at the moment.
"I want you to keep on playing this game." He whispered.
You held your breath at those words. What does he even mean by that? Aside from he sounds really sexy saying those, you also confirmed that he's referring to what you've shown him in the past as a game.
"Manjiro, what I feel for you... it... it isn't a game—" You tried to explain but he put his thumb on your lips to hush you.
"Hmmm. From now on, we'll be playing this game together, (Y/N)."
Your brows furrowed in confusion as you stared into his eyes with a questioning look. The atmosphere inside the room feels hot and suffocating, and right now you feel yourself palpitating for some unknown reasons.
"W-what?"
He looks at you coldly as his deep sexy voice continues, "Don't ever get boring or I'll kill you."
Wait, did I hear that wrong?
"Manjiro?"
"I will gladly recreate the game you started. I'm going to rewrite the rules for the both of us. You will participate but you can't quit." He explained calmly but there is no emotion in his voice.
"Manjiro, please listen to me—"
Again, you are stopped when his lips softly brushes against your lower lip. He seductively put his thumb inside your mouth and your eyes widened when you tasted him. Manjiro is looking at you emotionlessly as he plays with your lower lip sexily.
"It's either you tame me or I'll own you completely. This is the game we'll be playing from now on."
Damn, what?
"I-I..."
"I don't need you to apologize. Starting today, everything's going to be rewritten. We'll start from zero. I want you to get better so we can play properly." He mumbled and let your lower lip go.
His thumb starts touching your bruises gently like he's admiring them.
"Will you forgive me if I were to agree to all these things?"
"..."
"If I were to tell you I love you sincerely... with honesty... would you even believe it?"
"You have a nice sharp tongue there."
"If I participate in this game... it means I'll be with you right? It means I can freely love you, isn't it? If I were to participate in this game... it means... it means I get to show everything genuinely without thinking about the mission?"
Manjiro remained silent.
Your heart is beating fast as you look at him longingly with anticipation. A glint of hope covers your heart as you realize something with what he is proposing. You tried to keep yourself up and speak as much as you can despite the pain.
"I'm in! Whatever it is, as long as I can freely be with you, I'll do everything." You stated and groan a little as you feel a needling pain on your jaw.
Manjiro imprisoned you in his gaze. You can't read his eyes but his lips turn curved into a calm, manipulative smile.
"I hope you're not lying this time, (Y/N). You're not fooling anyone."
With just his gaze, you feel an invisible thread wrapping around your body. You feel as if Manjiro's presence can definitely control you with or without you knowing. You know exactly that he's dangerous... and this... this is dangerous.
But being with him for months makes you selfish and greedy.
With determined eyes, you replied, "I don't know how I can prove it but I would play this game the way you wanted, Manjiro." Your words are genuine and you are completely disregarding all of the dangers that it might cause you, "In that way, I can show you that I really am in love with you."
"Good." He whispered in a cold voice as he leaned back and looked at you blankly, "I will be looking forward to it."
His words are plain and cold. You're not a fool to not realize how those are all uncaring and bland. You feel a small pain with how he is talking to you right now but you love him and you want to keep holding on unto that.
Manjiro stands up, gets the empty tray, and walks towards the door. Your mouth starts speaking against your will as you ask him something.
"Aren't you afraid that I'll betray you for the second time, Manjiro?"
He stopped on his tracks and you feel the enormous amount of danger in the air. It seems as if you are a small prey inside a cave cornered by predators. Manjiro can emit that kind of danger and you still simp for him.
He tilts his head to his side to look at where you are laying down. From your angle, you can completely see his dangerous, calm gaze and small smile that can make you feel frightened and in love at the same time.
"I told you, didn't I?" He answered in a dominatingly serious voice, "You're mine. Even if you were to betray me, I have no intention of letting you go."
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