Tilt up to Grif on top of New Red Base
Sarge: Grif, we're gonna need you to clear that blockage.
Grif: How?! These pieces are huge! How am I supposed to lift them?!
Alex: Just push it!
Sarge: Well, they say people in emotional situations can sometimes get super-human strength.
Grif: Yeah?! Well what about people in situations where they really don't GIVE A FUCK?! What kind of powers do they get?!
Sarge: Grif!
Simmons: If you can't lift it, just try clearing it with a grenade!
Grif: Um, is that safe?
South: Is that a good idea.
Simmons: None of this is safe! You're gonna start analyzing now?!
Sarge: Here, Grif, take one of mine.
Sarge throws a grenade at Grif and misses. The grenade explodes.
Simmons: Sarge! You pulled the pin out!
Alex: What the Hell!
South: Shit!
Sarge: Of course I did. Who throws a grenade with the pin still in it? Hey, Grif, catch this one.
Sarge throws another grenade at Grif and misses.
Grif: No! I'm not catching those!
Sarge: Dammit, I can't reach.
The grenade rolls down the side of the base and explodes very close to Alex, South,,Sarge and Simmons
Simmons: Aah! Cut it out!
South: You almost killed us!
Grif: Yeah! Let me get back to work up here!
A rocket flies past Grif
Sarge: Ya catch that one?!
Alex: Sarge!
Grif: Okay, here we go! (Throws grenade) Oh shit! Uh, where do I go when the grenade ex-
An enormous explosion throws Grif into the air. Debris rains down on Simmons and Sarge.
Simmons: Oh no, he's falling!
Alex: Sarge Do something!
Sarge: I see that!
Simmons: Should we try to catch him?!
Sarge: Catch him? Hell no. He'll crush us.
Simmons: What do we do?!
Sarge: I got a good idea. Let's act like we're gonna catch him, then we don't. It's a win-win.
South: Then do something.
Simmons: You used to jump out of ships, give him some advice!
Sarge: Oh, right. Grif, you should never join that unit! The pay is terrible and the officer is totally disorganized!
Simmons: Advice on how to land!
Alex: Do it before he dies!
Sarge: Oh, right. Grif, what you wanna do is...
After an immense amount of screaming, Grif hits the ground. Regardless, Sarge continues to talk.
Sarge: ...Try to tuck and roll at the last second. That will transfer your momentum to inertia, and invert your ker-splat probability.
Simmons: Hey, Sarge?
South: Is he ok?
Sarge: Yeah?
Simmons: I think he's down already.
Sarge: Oh, right.
Grif: Owwww..........
Alex: Welp he's still alive.
Sarge: (laughs) Simmons, you are observant!
Cut to Caboose sneaking around the downed Pelican
Caboose: There you are.
Will walks over and Delta appears
Delta: Caboose we need to go.
Will: I think Grif died I may have to make a second grave.
Cut back to the Reds
Sarge: Hot ham and cheese, the power's back on.
Simmons: Um, I think Grif is broken, Sir.
Alex: I think he's alive.
Sarge: Sad. I always thought I would be the cause of Grif's death. Ah well fuck it.
Simmons: Yeah, fuck it.
Sarge: Let's call Lopez, and tell him we've got power. Robots love that stuff.
South: I'll see if Grif's ok.
Simmons: And oil.
Sarge: Stop helping me.
Radio sounds
Sarge: Come in Lopez, señor Lopez, come in. This is Sergeant-
Lopez: [Hello? This is Blood Gulch Canyon, Lopez speaking.]
Sarge: Lopez, it's Sarge. Que paso. Whatya doin'? ...Lopez?
Lopez: [Uhhh... Sorry I couldn't come to the phone. Please leave me a message and I'll...]
Sarge: Eh, heh heh. Lopez, you old kidder. Cut it out.
Lopez: [...call you back as soon as I am able.]
Sarge: Haha, seriously program, disable lying mode voice verification Bravo niner.
Lopez: [COMMAND ACCEPTED...OK. What do you want?]
Sarge: I need you at the new base on the double.
Lopez: [Why?]
Sarge: We got power. Need your help building something awesome. You busy?
Lopez: [Actually. Not really. I just killed that girl over at Blue Base. So I'm all wrapped up here. We won by the way.]
Sarge: Great! Hey Simmons, we won Blood Gulch.
Alex: So Sister is dead?
Simmons: Oh, cool. Suck it Blue.
Sarge: Oh, and tell Grif his sister's dead.
Simmons: Yes sir! Wait, what?
Lopez: .[OK I guess I can be right there.]
Sarge: Great, we'll see you soon. I'll forward you some blueprints of what we've been workin' on.
Grif wakes up and moans and South helps him up
Grif: (weakly) What happened?
Sarge: Grif, you're awake, good. Lopez is coming here, I need you to stay out of the way.
Grif: Uh, can do.
Sarge: Simmons, you check the base, make sure everything is online. Lopez is going to need all the power he can get.
South: Ok.
Simmons: On it sir.
Sarge: Lopez, you get in the base, start workin' on the plans I sent you.
Lopez: (standing right next to Sarge) Sí.
Alex: Shit!
Simmons: Wow, he got here fast!
Sarge: Oh and uh, Grif, one more thing. You might wanna sit down.
Grif: I can't sit, I think both my kneecaps are shattered.
Sarge: Oh, well in that case, Simmons, you'd better be prepared to catch him. He'll probably faint when I tell him his sister's dead.
Grif: My sister is dead?
Sarge: Oh, you already know! Good. I was worried 'bout how to break the news to you. That could've been awkward.
Grif: No way. Not true.
Sarge: Lopez told us himself.
Grif: Yeah right.
Simmons: You don't believe it?
Grif: I'll tell you what, you produce a corpse, I'll believe it.
Simmons: Huh?
Grif: Listen, once when we were kids, we went ice skating, and she fell through the ice. She was under there for three hours, and when they pulled her out, not only was she still alive, she was pregnant. If you can explain that to me, I'll believe you when you tell me she's dead.
South: What the fuck.
Sarge: Hhhh, I wouldn't even know how to-
Lopez: Hecho. [Done.]
Sarge: Hot damn, Lopez is done already. Did you finish the-
Lopez: [Yes.]
Sarge: Well what about the-
Lopez: [Yes.]
Sarge: And also the-
Lopez: [I am done. That means I did everything.]
Sarge: Caliente daminito, let's go check it out.
Lopez: [It's over here.]
They enter an elevator which will prove to take quite a while to get where it's going
Lopez: [Just hit the down button.]
Grif: You installed an elevator?
Lopez: [Of course. Now enter your personalized key code. Put your hand on the scanner. Now turn that crank.]
Sarge: Which one, this one?
Lopez: No. La tercera hacia abajo. La quinta hacia allá. [No. The third one down. Fifth one over.]
Sarge: Ah, okay.
Grif: How did he build all of this?
Alex: How did he do it so fast?
South: And with so few tools?
Sarge: I told ya, he just needed power tools.
Lopez: [Now push your button when I push mine.]
Sarge: At the same time?
Lopez: [Yes.]
Sarge: You wanna do it like on three or like, three and then go?
Lopez: ! [Just push it!]
Sarge: Okay.
Lopez:. [Here we are.]
They exit the elevator and walk to a large empty room
Grif: What the fuck?
Simmons: What the hell is all this?
Sarge: As you know, I've been working on developing a new version of our Warthog. So I had Lopez here build an underground holographically powered simulation room. This is going to allow us, to test the final concepts of my car design. Now check it.
Alex: This place is huge.
A blue grid appears on the floor, then a Warthog appears above it, and then the grid disappears.
Grif: Okay. Now that was pretty cool.
Sarge: Thank you.
South: You didn't build it.
Simmons: Hey wait a second, so you built an entire chamber, capable of running holographic simulations, rather than just build the car itself? That doesn't seem very efficient to me.
Sarge: Simmons, sometimes you just gotta go for style points. Hoo-ah.