⚠️MAJOR TW FOR THIS CHAPTER⚠️
I hate the way I look. The way I talk, walk, and everything about me. I always see how much prettier than me everyone was, and I know I can't compare. I don't even know how I managed to land the most wonderful girlfriend. She's like an angel. She has pretty eyes, great facial structure, a great personality, and is fit. Basically everything anyone could ever ask for in life.
I dreaded today because I was going to the beach with Jayla and her siblings. I always hated wearing bathing suits and bikinis because they looked unflattering on me. But one time I went on a shopping spree for them when I was feeling confident. So I put on my best one anyways, I mean I wasn't really planning on getting in the water, so I could cover up with some shorts and an oversized shirt. I grab my best looking bikini, some jean shorts, and an oversized graphic tee.
Bikini:
Rest of Fit:
After I put everything on, I grab a tote bag and pack a towel, Extra clothes, and a some snacks. After packing, I call Jayla and tell her im ready while I head downstairs. My parents were out of town on a business trip so it was just me and my cats. I fill their food bowls and make sure their water fountain was full. "Hey bud." I say bending down and petting one of my cats.
After a while I hear a knock at my door and know it's Jayla, so I grab my bag and walk over. When I open the door I see Javon standing there. "Oh hi Wanna!" I say surprised. I look and see that the passenger side has no one in it so I push past him and run to the door. "Hey that's my seat!" He shouts, running after me but was already too late, as I was already in the car. "Move your feet, lose your seat, loser!" I say laughing. "Hey Jay." I say after I stop laughing, smiling at her. "Hey Beautiful." She says pulling me into a hug. "Ew! Stop doing gross couple stuff and start driving!" Jaden says, fake gagging. "Oh shut up! You're just jealous!" I say flipping him off. Jayla starts driving and I turn on the radio. It was boring so I plugged in the aux and shuffled my Bruno Mars playlist and "Grenade" started playing. I sung along to the lyrics.
Easy come, easy go, that's just how you live, oh
Take, take, take it all, but you never give
Should have known you was trouble from the first kiss
Had your eyes wide open
Why were they open? (Ooh)
Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, you did
To give me all your love is all I ever ask
'Cause what you don't understand is
I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh, oh, I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya, baby
But you won't do the same
No, no, no, no
Black, black, black and blue
Beat me 'til I'm numb
Tell the devil I said "Hey" when you get back to where you're from
Mad woman, bad woman
That's just what you are
Yeah, you'll smile in my face then rip the brakes out my car
Gave you all I had and you tossed it in the trash
You tossed it in the trash, yes you did
To give me all your love is all I ever ask
'Cause what you don't understand is
I'd catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh oh, I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya, baby
But you won't do the same
If my body was on fire
Ooh, you'd watch me burn down in flames
You said you loved me, you're a liar
'Cause you never, ever, ever did, baby
But darling, I'd still catch a grenade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Throw my hand on a blade for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
I'd jump in front of a train for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
You know I'd do anything for ya (yeah, yeah, yeah)
Oh oh, I would go through all this pain
Take a bullet straight through my brain
Yes, I would die for ya, baby
But you won't do the same
No, you won't do the same
You wouldn't do the same
Ooh, you'd never do the same
No, no, no, no oh
I didn't realize how much I meant all those lyrics, not towards Jayla of course, she was the best thing to happen to happen. Those lyrics were directed to my ex, who is the reason i'm so insecure. I started tearing up during the middle of singing. I quickly wiped my tears and looked out the window. Jayla grabbed my phone and played a song while we were at a stop light.
Oh, her eyes, her eyes
Make the stars look like they're not shinin'
Her hair, her hair
Falls perfectly without her tryin'
She's so beautiful and I tell her everyday
Yeah, I know, I know
When I compliment her, she won't believe me
And it's so, it's so
Sad to think that she don't see what I see
But every time she asks me, "Do I look okay?"
I say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are
Yeah
Her lips, her lips
I could kiss them all day if she'd let me
Her laugh, her laugh
She hates, but I think it's so sexy
She's so beautiful and I tell her everyday
Oh, you know, you know
You know I'd never ask you to change
If perfect's what you're searchin' for, then just stay the same
So don't even bother askin' if you look okay
You know I'll say
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are
The way you are
The way you are
Girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are
When I see your face
There's not a thing that I would change
'Cause you're amazing
Just the way you are
And when you smile
The whole world stops and stares for a while
'Cause girl, you're amazing
Just the way you are
Yeah
Jayla was the only person who knew how insecure I was because before we were dating, we were best friends. I told her everything, from how my ex made me feel, to how my parents treated me. She knew everything about me and I knew everything about her. So you can imagine how emotional I was when this song started playing.
I looked at her while tears were streaming down my face and smiled, because I knew she meant everything it just said. "Thank you Jay. I love you so much." I say with a soft voice, to prevent myself from bawling again. "Of course baby. You know I love you more than anything in this world." She replies, cupping one hand on my face and holding the steering wheel with the other. She places both hands back on the steering wheel and then parks in a stall in the parking lot.
We all get out of the car and grab our things. We find a spot on the beach and set up some towels and an umbrella. As soon as we finish, the boys race to the water. I giggle then look at Jayla, who for some reason wasn't running with them. "Why aren't you getting in the water?" I ask, curious as to why she was sitting next to me instead of getting in the water like she wanted to. "Y/n, you don't have to worry about what other people think. You look amazing! You always do! Your body, your face, your personality, everything about you is perfect. In order to feel like that you have to love yourself first. It all starts with you, baby." She says before pulling me up and telling me to get into my bikini.
I take off the clothes I was wearing over them and immediately cover my body, feeling more insecure than ever, but then I remember what Jayla just said so I move my hands. I take her hand and begin running to the water. I jump in and we splash the boys. It turns into a whole splash war and we eventually stop. That's when a group of boys walk up to me and Jayla after the boys go back to the towels.
"Wassup pretty ladies, y'all tryna get outta here with us? There's a party down the road." One of them say, smirking at the other boys. "Uhm no we're good here." I say giving them a death stare. "Woah calm mamas. Can I atleast get your number?" He says persistently, beginning to pull out his phone. "I'm gay!" I shout, getting fed up with this bullshit. They all look at eachother and walk away awkwardly. "Jeez, I hate guys!" I say burying my head into the crook of Jayla's neck. "Me too baby. Me too." She chuckles, leading me out of the water by my hand.
"Well that was something wasn't it?" Javon says as we approach. "Shut up big head." I say rolling my eyes. "Ouch." He says, laughing at what I just called him. We all pack up and then get back into our spots in the car. We drive to Jayla's house and I end up spending the night. After that day, I started teaching myself to be confident with the help of Jayla, and it worked really well because I was becoming less insecure each day. I don't know what I would do without Jayla with me.