The next day, Delilah and I are preparing ourselves to go out. Violet decided to stay in and skip, so Caleb is going to join us instead.
Kyle is staying in as well, calling with his girlfriend and dedicating time to her.
Delilah is downstairs already, waiting at the entrance of the hotel. She's just texted me, saying that the others are on their way.
I make my way downstairs, dressed casually for the day with a pair of jeans and an oversized sweater.
The hood of the sweater is up and, of course, I'm wearing my sunglasses that have become an armor for me.
As soon as the elevator doors open on the ground floor, I step out and head for the lobby. I see Delilah waiting at the entrance doors, on her phone.
The thing that has me halting, is the swarm of paparazzi standing outside. Even though I'm at a large distance from them, the sound of the camera's clicking and the flashes are surfacing to my mind.
Fuck. They're here. And they're going to see us exiting the hotel and bother us until they're stopped by security.
Placing a hand on top of my heart, I try to calm my beating heart and even out my breathing, which seems to result in the opposite of what I'm trying to accomplish.
I'm focusing too hard and I can feel myself starting to tremble. My breathing is quickening and my whole body is heating up at the mere thought of facing all the camera's and having them ask intrusive questions.
A surge of overwhelming panic floods me. My mouth is running dry and I feel weak all over my body.
I take a step back, only to bump in someone else. Two hands grasp my shoulder and turn me around to look into Caleb's eyes.
"Ella?" he asks, trying to look into my eyes and get a hold of me. "Ella, can you hear me? Focus on my voice."
He takes off my sunglasses to try and get my eyes to adjust to everything around me.
I lean my body against him, and he holds me against him as if he knows my body is about to give out.
"Ella, listen to my voice. You're having an anxiety attack."
I barely manage a nod and close my eyes, feeling myself getting light-headed.
"Look into my eyes, Ella. Focus on my voice. Take deep breaths. Just like that. Inhale, hold it and then exhale."
Caleb urges me to repeat, his fingers digging into my shoulders. My fingers are grasping the material of his jacket between them and my head is leaning on his chest.
"You got this. Just breathe, Ella, breathe."
I follow his instructions and take a deep breath, before letting go of it and repeating it. My hands are still clutching Caleb close, but the black dots in front of my eyes are disappearing and the coiled-up muscles in my back and shoulders are slowly loosening up.
"Good," he praises and once he knows I'm fully out of my attack, he hugs me and wraps his arms around me.
"What's wrong, Ella?" he asks and rubs his hands up and down my back.
"The paparazzi outside," I croak, "they made me feel anxious."
"Fucking hell," he curses underneath his breath, "they're parasites."
"Tell me about it," I murmur and let go of a deep breath. "Thank you for helping me, Caleb. I appreciate it."
"Of course, Ella," he grins. "I've got to protect my best girl, don't I?"
We stand there for a while, just hugging and being in each other's presence. Caleb has always known how to make me laugh and relax in situations like these.
And I'm incredibly grateful for our friendship.
When I take a step back, I catch sight of someone behind Caleb. My heart skips a beat when I see Ares staring right back at me.
His gaze is bored – as usual – but intense. They don't waver, but there's nothing in them I can read.
Clenching my jaw together, I turn back towards Caleb.
"Let's go."
We went out to have a drink with the sound crew; Josh, Ronny, Frank, Christine, and Fay. Even Martha and Louise from the light crew joined us.
Caleb and I requested for a restaurant where not many people were present, and for a secluded place in the back.
Of course, we had security following us around and guarding our table, alert all the time. If they didn't tag along, Malcolm would lose his mind.
Now, we're back at the hotel. Delilah, Caleb, and I are taking the elevator up, the sound crew has taken the other elevator seen as they're on another floor than us.
"Josh and Christine are so funny," Delilah chuckles. She was talking to them a lot during dinner, and so was I.
The vibe was relaxed the whole time and I genuinely had a good time, getting to know everyone better.
"Right? Fay was really sweet," I chuckle. We asked Imani to tag along, too, but she had too much work to go out with us.
Before going into my own room, I knock on Violet's door to check up on her.
"Door is open," comes her soft voice. Opening the door, I see her lying on her bed.
"Hey you," I grin and close the door behind me, "how was your day?"
She offers a half shrug. "It was alright. How was yours?"
I start telling her about my day while I go and clean up her room – which is a mess as usual. Then, I get on bed with her and turn my face in her direction.
Her eyes meet mine, and I notice how bloodshot they are. "Vi... what happened?" I ask and scoot closer to her, worry feeling me.
"What? Nothing," she chuckles. "Your eyes are red, have you been crying? Did something happen?"
"Oh," she snorts and shakes her head, "just smoked some weed, is all."
I stay quiet for a little while and bite my lip, looking at her. "Vi, I just want you to be careful, okay?"
"God, Elena," she groans and pokes my side. "It's just weed, don't worry about it. But to make you feel better, I'll lay off for you."
"I just don't want anything to happen to you, or you being dependent on it," I whisper.
"If you're going to be concerned, be concerned about Caleb. All the fucker does is smoke weed."
"You're right," I chuckle, "I should just throw away his stash."
"I'll help you," she agrees. We both crack jokes about Caleb and the stunts he's pulled and the heart-attacks Malcolm suffered because of him.
Despite all that, everyone loves him and he charms his way out of everything.
Like Nicholas.
A smile finds its way to my face at the mention of my brother. I'm going to call my siblings one of these days and see how they're doing.
Turning my head, I glance at my best friend.
"Hey, Vi?"
"Yes?"
"Till the end."
She smiles at me and replies without hesitation.
"Till the end."
By the time the sun has set and the moon has taken over the night, everyone is asleep. But I sneak out anyway.
I get out of my room, in need of some fresh air.
Something else I don't want to admit – I sneak off to the balcony in the hopes of seeing Ares.
Because that's where our paths cross, and a part of me hopes that this could be our thing. Even though it's only a minor thing, it's something.
My hand touches the pendant hanging around my neck as I approach the balcony doors and I open them.
Pathetically, I feel as if life has been blown into me when I see a dark figure leaning against the wall, the small bud of a cigarette lit up as he brings it towards his lips.
Whenever I'm with him, all my alarms go off and I feel aware of everything. But it makes me feel so alive.
We're both hidden by the shadows, the moon being our only other company.
"If it isn't the Butterfly," comes his deep voice. I go to lean against the wall and let the wind play with the strands of my hair.
I'm wearing an oversized vest and a tight top underneath, along with some sleeping shorts.
If it isn't the man who haunts my dreams.
"If I had known you'd be up here, I wouldn't have come," I retort, even though I know it's a lie. I'm here because of him.
"Yet you didn't leave as soon as you saw me," he deadpans and takes another drag.
"Your presence is not stopping me from being somewhere I want to be."
"What a shame," he replies.
I don't say anything to that, and only take it instead. All I do is watch him smoke the cigarette.
"You're killing yourself," I say and watch the stick between his long fingers.
"Bet you never tried one of these, have you, Butterfly?"
"No," I answer and jut my chin out, "and what about it?"
"Would you like to try it?" he asks and slants his head to the side. The moon casts some light over his sharp and smooth features, making him look like a beautiful demon who's made to lure you into the depths of hell.
"And blacken my lungs? No thanks," I scoff.
"Such a drama queen," he sighs and starts walking towards me. All I can do is follow him with my eyes, until he's standing in front of me with one hand above my head, looming over my frame.
I need to crane my neck to look into his eyes, which are shadowed by the night, but I refuse to cower away.
"I never tried one before," I confess, "and I don't have the desire to."
"What if I told you, you don't have to put it in your mouth?"
"Then how else will I try it?"
"Want me to show you?"
My teeth graze my bottom lip as I hold his eyes, and this spark is created between us. My heart skips a beat and my throat becomes dry.
"How..."
"Elena?"
Whatever spell we were under, is broken by the sound of Delilah's voice that's coming from the hallway.
With parted lips, I watch Ares take a step away from me. And I watch his eyes go to the door with interest at the sound of my friend's voice.
My throat grows thick with emotion, but I hold it together.
Ares lets the cigarette fall on the ground. With the sole of his shoe, he kills the light of the cigarette.
Just like the spark between us – killed just as easily.
. . .
Am I guilty of loving to edge you guys?
Yes. Yes, I am.
But it's my birthday so you're not allowed to hate on me today.
A bitch turned 19 today and I'm still in denial.
I HATE getting older.
But it was a good day today, so I'm grateful for all the sweet birthday wishes and messages.
A man passed me by today and complimented my pants and idk it just made my day.
Thank you so much for reading and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.
I love you.