Lisa wasn't really one for coffee, it was too bitter for her taste. She usually had to add loads of sugar to be able to drink it but then that would just make her crash later so she really didn't see the point in it.
Today was different though. Tomorrow was her audition to Julliard. It was funny that she had moved to Korea from Thailand only to end up applying to a dance school in America but whatever. It was supposed to be one of the best and she actually had a chance at a full ride.
Hence her current apprehension. She needed to stay awake and practice the rest of the evening so that her audition was perfect tomorrow. Which meant nasty bitter coffee from the closest coffee shop to her practice studio.
At least the coffee shop was cute, it was small and intimate and lit up warmly. The curtains were drawn so it gave you a feeling of timelessness in there, like it could be any time of the day. Lisa kind of liked that.
She might have been squinting at the menu for a little too long because she heard a cute giggle that startled Lisa out of her thoughts. She looked up only for her eyes to meet the most beautiful girl she'd ever seen.
Lisa had only recently come to terms with her sexuality. She kind of hated she hadn't met this girl earlier when she was struggling with it because she was sure she would have known then and there that she wasn't all that straight. It would have saved her a lot of time and headaches debating whether she was sure she liked girls or not.
The girl raised an eyebrow at her when Lisa still didn't speak. Lisa felt herself blush because she had probably been gaping at the girl. How could she not though? She had beautiful cat-like eyes and these cute little squishy cheeks that Lisa didn't know whether she wanted to pinch, poke, or kiss. The last one, probably the last one. Yeah, definitely the last one she decided.
Shit. She was still staring. She cleared her throat.
"Hi, sorry. I was a little out of it." Lisa said sheepishly.
"I could tell." The girl said with a smile and a glint in her eyes. "What can I get you?"
"Umm." Lisa squinted at the menu in confusion. What the hell was even the difference between a latte and a cappuccino? What the hell was a macchiato? Americano? They weren't even in America. Espresso sounded a little fancy, maybe she should get that.
"Not much of a coffee drinker huh?" The girl said, noticing Lisa's internal confusion.
Lisa looked down a little embarrassed again.
"No, not really."
"That bad of a day huh?"
"Not really. Well a little I guess. I'm just a little stressed." Lisa said honestly.
"Oh?" The girl was already moving around behind the counter making a drink. "Why's that?"
Lisa didn't know if she was just being polite because it was part of her job but her interest in Lisa's life was making her heart flutter a bit.
"I have a really important audition tomorrow. It's probably going to decide the rest of my life so I really need to stay awake and finish preparing."
"Sounds serious," the girl said giving her a small smile.
"It kind of is," Lisa smiled back at her a little nervously.
"I don't think you should worry so much," the pretty girl said as she worked some milk machine that Lisa assumed frothed the milk.
"Why do you think that?" Lisa asked, geniuinely curious.
"I don't know. I just have a feeling. I get these feelings sometimes you know," the girl said seriously, "about people? I'm usually right."
"What does that feeling say about me?" Lisa dared to ask. She was on the verge of flirting with the pretty coffee shop girl and she didn't know where the boldness came from.
"Ask me again tomorrow and I might tell you," the girl sent a sexy smirk at her. Well, at least Lisa found it sexy.
"Hmm?" Lisa asked confused.
The girl handed her the drink she just made, "Here, on the house."
"What no, here." Lisa tried to hand her some cash. She didn't even know the girl had been making her a drink. She'd never even ordered.
"It's fine. You can come back tomorrow and buy me a coffee to thank me for guessing your coffee order right, that way you can tell me all about how well your audition went and prove me right about that too."
The girl winked at her and Lisa swooned.
Lisa might have been brave enough to stay there and talk with her but there was a pretty long line now and she didn't want to get the girl in trouble so Lisa thanked her again and said a reluctant goodbye, promising to pay her back.
Lisa tasted the coffee and hummed. It was perfect. It didn't even taste like coffee, just something sweet and creamy, almost like melted chocolate. Lisa loved chocolate. She found that she didn't even crash later like she usually did.
She noticed the tip jar on the counter and she put the cash she had held in her hand in the jar before leaving the cafe with one last glance back before opening the door. She found cat eyes already staring back at her before they quickly flicked away.
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Lisa couldn't wipe the dopey ass smile off of her face the entire day after that. Even her dance instructor was a little bewildered.
"Not that I'm complaining, because I think you'll nail it, but I really thought you'd be a little more nervous about tomorrow." She commented.
"Oh," Lisa smiled, "I mean I am."
Cheshir looked at her dubiously. "Doesn't look like it to me."
"I am, I just think I found my muse."
Cheshir smirked, "you mean you have a crush."
Lisa blushed as Cheshir just cackled at her.
"You know what, lets just go through it one more time," Lisa mumbled. Ignoring what she said.
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Lisa purposely went by the cafe before her audition in case she caught a glimpse of the pretty brunette but she saw no sign of her. She figured as much since the girl had insinuated for Lisa to visit her after the audition, she must have a late shift. Lisa wondered if she had really meant it, for Lisa to come back and buy her coffee.
Lisa might have nailed her audition.
She knew she had worked hard enough to do well. She was good, she knew she was but she had really worried her nerves would get the better of her and she would mess up. It kept happening in practice after all, the closer the audition got the more mistakes she would make.
She really needed to thank the girl from the coffee shop for being her lucky charm and easing her nerves. She had no doubt that Lisa wouldn't have gone through the process so smoothly if it hadn't been for the pretty brunette. She hadn't even felt nervous beforehand. She went through her routine like it was just another one of her rehearsals, not paying the admission commitee any mind as she danced.
They thanked her and told her she could go, not saying much else. Lisa had fist pumped when she left the room because their silence was high praise in the dance world. It meant a lack of criticism. It meant she had done so well they couldn't point out any mistakes. Lisa felt giddy so she decided to say fuck it and go see the pretty coffee girl. Lisa felt the need to thank her even if the brunette girl might have been joking about her coming back.
She showered and swung by the coffee shop, hair still wet and in her usual dance sweats. She spotted the girl right away and couldn't help the grin on her face. Lisa didn't know why but it was almost like Lisa was a magnet because the girl had immediately looked up and found Lisa's eyes as soon as she walked in.
Lisa grinned harder as she was graced with the most beautiful gummy smile she had ever seen in her life. She hadn't seen that smile yet. Lisa almost ran up to the counter. She forced herself to walk casually up to her.
"You killed your audition didn't you?" The girl asked her with a knowing smile.
Lisa beamed at her and shrugged.
"Oh come on, tell me!"
"Well I don't know for sure yet," Lisa told her honestly, but she still couldn't wipe the smile off of her face.
"I think you know," the girl narrowed her eyes at her playfully.
"Okay, maybe, I kind of did?" Lisa said.
"I knew it." the brunette said with such conviction, like she knew all along that there was no possible way that Lisa would fail. It made Lisa's chest feel so fucking warm.
"I think it was all due to your magic coffee." Lisa joked.
"You liked it?" the girl asked her with a high pitched voice and an eager smile that made Lisa's heart skip a beat.
"I did. You must be a genius or something."
Lisa could have sworn she saw the girl blush. She tried shaking it off though, it was probably just wishful thinking.
"So, I guess that means I owe you a coffee?" Lisa ventured to say.
"Oh, you don't have to, I'm just glad you liked it. You were a hard one to read."
"I want to though. I'm not taking no for an answer. I'm pretty sure you're the--I mean, your coffee was the only reason I might have actually passed." Lisa amended, not wanting to be too forward even though she felt like the reason was definitely the pretty girl and not her coffee.
Okay, she definitely blushed that time Lisa thought. The girl turned around and fixed two cups of coffee, handing one to Lisa.
"You have some time?"
Lisa nodded.
"You want to sit with me? I only have about thirty minutes for my break but it would be kind of rude if you bought me coffee and I didn't drink it with you."
"Of course." Lisa tried to say as nonchalantly as she could because she was pretty sure her heart was beating out of her chest at the thought of getting to spend thirty minutes with this girl. Breathe Lisa.
"Okay, give me a second."
Lisa watched as the girl went to grab a coworker from the back so they could cover her break and then led Lisa to a corner table.
"Wait, I haven't even paid yet." Lisa protested.
The girl ignored her and kept walking so Lisa had no choice but to follow her.
She sat down and Lisa stood over the table with her arms crossed refusing to sit as the girl raised an eyebrow at her with an amused smile gracing her face.
"What?" She asked innocently.
"Im supposed to be buying you coffee." Lisa almost whined.
"I think the tip you left me yesterday covered about a week's worth of coffee orders," she told Lisa rolling her eyes. "Now sit."
Lisa blushed, "you saw that huh?"
"Yes I did. Now sit please because my break isn't very long."
Lisa reluctantly took a seat. She was so going to leave her another tip later since she refused to take her money.
"Now are you finally going to tell me your name?" the girl asked, jarring her out of her thoughts of how she could sneak the money into the tip jar.
"Lisa, my name is Lisa."
"Lisa huh, it suits you." The pretty girl said simply.
"You're not going to tell me your name?" Lisa asked, expecting the girl to introduce herself too.
"Nope," the brunette smirked, sipping on her coffee.
"That's not fair!" Lisa complained, trying to still her heart because god this girl was so pretty when she smiled like that.
"You'll just have to figure it out on your own," the brunette girl teased.
Lisa huffed. "Fine, but I'm taking that as a challenge."
"I expect nothing less."
"Are you at least going to tell me what your feeling was about me?"
The girl looked down almost shyly.
"Come on, you promised." Lisa urged, voice getting a little whiny because she really wanted to know.
"No I didn't, I just told you to ask me tomorrow," she quipped, a self-satisfied smirk was plastered on her face.
Lisa pouted.
The girl seemed to take mercy on her after that because she almost softened. She dropped her smirk and looked at Lisa with a tight lipped smile, like she was trying to hold some secret in.
"I don't know Lisa. It was just a good feeling. I just had a good feeling about you." she said so lowly Lisa almost didn't hear it. She avoided Lisa's eyes as she said it, preferring to look at her coffee cup and raising it to her lips to drink from it when she was done speaking.
Lisa tried really hard not to read too much into it, her heart wasn't very successful at it though.
"So you told me not to worry too much because you had a good feeling about me?" Lisa asked.
"Yup."
She didn't elaborate.
Lisa huffed. "You're impossible."
"I know," She said smugly.
Lisa fought the urge to grin. Unsuccessfully. Lisa really liked that the girl gave her attitude. She was cheeky and brazen and Lisa found it so hot.
They spent the next ten minutes asking each other silly questions, mostly about what their favorite things were but Lisa had a habit of asking certain questions when she really wanted to get to know someone. They might be a little out there but she felt like it told her a lot about a person and she really wanted to get to know the girl in front of her.
"Okay, if you fell off a building would you want to fall face down so you know when you were going to die or face up so your last view would be of the stars?"
"What kind of question is that Lisa?" the brunette asked giggling.
Those giggles really did something funny to Lisa's stomach.
"Just answer it!"
"Okay, face down obviously," the girl said rolling her eyes.
Lisa somehow found that hot too. She somewhat shook it off.
"Really?"
"Of course!"
"So you're a realist." Lisa commented. Not leaving it up for debate.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean you're not the type to have your head in the clouds. You live in the real world. You're more detailed. You're probably really organized and I bet you like to know everything beforehand before you make a decision on anything. You probably have a need to know everything all the time."
Jennie looked at her bewildered. "Am not."
"You so are, I can tell."
"Fine, I am. Theres nothing wrong with that."
"There's not, without people like you people like me would probably float off into the clouds and never come back to earth. We need you." Lisa giggled.
"What is that supposed to mean?" the girl accused, narrowing her eyes at Lisa again.
"It means I'm the opposite. I would rather choose to look up at the sky."
"But why? Wouldn't that just make you panic about the moment of death more? You'd panic the entire time about when it was coming. You'd be afraid the entire time you were falling. That sounds like torture," she finished, shivering a bit at the thought.
Lisa smiled at her, "Not to me. For me, if I fell I would have immediately accepted the inevitable. Might as well look at something pretty before I die right?"
Lisa might have looked a little too hard into the pretty girl's eyes when she mentioned looking at something pretty.
The girl looked down.
"That's just ridiculous, you're literally about to die and you're admiring the sky?" she said, avoiding Lisa's eyes as she sipped on her coffee again.
Lisa smiled before speaking. "We all die, its a fact of life. Even if I knew it was coming, theres nothing I could do to change it. What's the point of knowing exactly when I'm going to hit the ground and die? I'd rather spend my last moments enjoying what little time I had left."
"Okay. That's a fair point I guess, even if I don't quite relate. So what does that say about you then? If I'm a realist what does that make you?"
"It means I'm a dreamer. I have my head in the clouds and dream big things. Things like believing I can change the world for the better if only I just talk to enough people and convince them, and then they go and talk to enough people. I tend to be optimistic about everything. I think everyone is inherently good. People like me believe in the good in the world, that we can do anything if we only just try and love as much as we can along the way."
"That's beautiful."
"It is, until you get crushed. The world doesn't quite work like that does it?" Lisa said with a soft smile.
The brunette girl looked at her a little sadly, choosing not to respond.
"Sometimes we spend so much time dreaming about what could be that we don't do anything about it and we miss our chance to act on it. Sometimes we're too optimistic and naive and reality comes crashing down. Sometimes we believe everything and everyone is good and we get proven wrong. That's why people like me need people like you. We balance each other. We help you guys dare to dream and you guys keep us from dreaming too much. You keep us tethered to the real world and we help you guys float."
The cat eyed beauty was looking at her with an unreadable expression. It made Lisa feel exposed. She eventually spoke.
"You got all that from one question?" She asked, her eyes piercing into Lisa's own.
Lisa smiled genuinely. "It never fails. Though there are the rare exceptions."
"Like what?"
"Like once I had someone tell me they didn't want either and would prefer to spin in the air because it would be fun."
"What?!" she asked with a laugh.
"He was a little out there." Lisa laughed with her.
"Usually those type of people, the ones that give the funny answers are the ones that have been through a lot. They have nothing left to lose. Those answers make me the saddest even though they're the silliest because I know deep down they wouldn't really mind ending it all. They'd be content to enjoy some silly thing before it was all finally over."
The brunette nodded, taking it in.
"How do you know? That he had been through a lot, I mean." The girl asked Lisa.
"I found out he was homeless a week later. He'd only talked to me that first time because I was sitting on his park bench. The one he always slept on. That bench was his home."
The brunette frowned at that.
"He died last year." Lisa added, unsure of why she was even opening up to a total stranger like this but something about the girl in front of her comforted her.
The brunette looked at Lisa questioningly, basically motioning for Lisa to continue, so Lisa did.
"I made it a habit of visiting him every week. He hated it at first. He kept shooing me away and yelling at me and grumbling about how he should have never talked to me because now I wouldn't stop bothering him. He would throw sticks at me sometimes." Lisa laughed, thinking about it. "It was harmless, he never tried to hurt me or anything. He just kept trying to annoy me enough so I would leave him alone."
The brunette smiled.
"Then one day I got an idea to bring him hot chocolate, it was winter in Seoul after all. He slept outside every night in the freezing cold and despite managing to scrounge up some blankets and a decent coat, I know it couldn't get the cold out of his bones."
"What happened? Did he warm up to you?" the girl asked her eagerly.
"Hell no. He almost threw the hot chocolate in my face yelling at me that he didn't need my help." Lisa smiled fondly. "He was a proud man."
"Then what happened?" The brunette asked, invested.
"I'm not really one to give up," Lisa smirked.
The brunette rolled her eyes at her and motioned for her to continue.
"I stopped showing up, but I would leave hot chocolate or muffins next to him when he was sleeping. He didn't touch them at first. Not for a week. Eventually though, I lucked out. I happened to pass by a food truck selling Hotteok. I got all different kinds of fillings and left the bag with some hot chocolate next to his bench. I came back from my practice a couple of hours later, his bench was on my way home so I always passed by it and the bag was gone but the hot chocolate was still there."
The brunette looked fascinated with her story so she continued.
"At first I thought someone else had taken it or that maybe he had thrown it away, but he wasn't one to do that. He was never wasteful. He usually just let it sit there until some other homeless person asked him for it and he'd let them take it. I found it odd though because he would always give everything away and the fact the hot chocolate was still there made me curious.
So I did it again the next day. I got him the same thing but this time I stayed and watched. I waited for him to wake up and find it.
It was the first time I ever saw him cry. I kept doing it all week and every time he actually ate what I gave him. Eventually he caught me sneaking the paper bag on his bench."
The brunettes eyes were wide now.
"I thought he was going to yell at me again but he hugged me and cried. I was so shocked but I sat down with him until he calmed down. Eventually he thanked me. I didn't understand why after all that time he had finally accepted what I gave him so I kind of just sat there. I was just glad he finally ate. I asked him if it was okay if I came back the next day and he actually nodded at me.
I brought him the same thing the next day but instead of the hot chocolate I usually brought, I got him some tea from that food truck, they happened to be selling it that day. He completely broke down when he saw it but I didn't want to push him. I waited and he eventually told me his story that night as we ate.
He told me the food truck I had gotten the Hotteok from had been his wife and his brother's favorite. His brother always ordered the same thing there. He would only go to that food truck when they had the tea. His older brother was autistic you see, so he had a schedule and he always knew when they would serve the tea.
He told me about his wife, how she had an antisocial disorder too so his brother and her always fought but they were both so creative that they bonded over it and despite the fact that they fought all the time they were still really close.
I didn't press him for more. I just kept going back.
A week later he confessed to me that his brother had tried to save his wife from a car that had lost control as they walked back from that food truck. They both died."
"No." The brunette pouted, practically in tears already.
Lisa wanted to reach out to her.
"He was devastated afterwards. He lost the most important people in his life and he gave up. He had been pretty successful before that but I guess it was like something broke in him. I couldn't really blame him to be honest.
I visited him every week for years. I thought I was getting through to him. I'd even found a place for him to stay. He used to be a nurse and the shelter I found said they could use him even if he didn't have his license anymore. They were so short staffed they agreed to give him free room and board if he agreed to help under supervision.
I had spent that last winter trying to figure out how to get him out of the streets in a way he would actually accept. I thought it was perfect. He wasn't the type to accept charity. I thought he might actually go for it if he got to work.
We spent Christmas Eve together on his bench that year because he refused to go anywhere else. Always too proud to accept anything, even a simple dinner invitation. He thanked me for everything, I was so excited to show him what I had gotten him.
I had to leave for the night because my best friend's family was stuck in Australia and I didn't want to leave her alone on Christmas Eve so I promised him I'd come back in the morning and told him I had a surprise for him. I thought everything would be perfect."
Lisa didn't know why she was telling this girl who she had met only the day before about the greatest heartbreak of her life. She hadn't even told Chaeyoung the full story, though the blonde had figured it out on her own. She knew about Lisa's weekly visits and when he died Lisa didn't even have to tell her. Lisa choked back the tears.
"What happened Lis?" the brunette reached out to squeeze her hand, Lisa could see the concern on her face and it made Lisa want to let the tears fall.
"I found him the next morning on his bench. I tried waking him up but he wouldn't move. He wouldn't budge. His skin was so cold. No one had even bothered to stop and check on him. He was homeless, so of course no one would. I found a note. It just said 'thank you, don't be sad, I get to see them now.'
I knew it was for me. I don't think I'd ever been so angry in my life. I almost got arrested that day for yelling at anyone who passed by because how couldn't they tell that a man was dying? How could no one stop to help.
It was ridiculous. He was dying for hours and no one stopped to help. All they had to do was call for an ambulance. Just a simple call. He found the time to write me a note, knowing he was dying and yet no one had the decency to stop and check on him. He could have lived if only one person had cared enough. He was so young. He was barely in his mid-thirties."
"Oh Lis, I'm so sorry."
Lisa swallowed the lump in her throat. She still hadn't gotten over it if she was honest. How could she get over the fact that this man spent his last moments thanking her for just being a decent human being as everyone around him acted the complete opposite. It was the first time Lisa had ever questioned humanity.
"It was a year ago. I'd like to think he was right and he's somewhere with his brother and his wife." Lisa at least believed that. She believed he was somewhere better, whatever that was. Whether it was in another life or heaven or something humans hadn't even come up with yet.
"So when you said the world crushes people like you, this is what you meant?" the girl said a little hoarsely. Lisa could tell she had been affected by her confession.
Lisa smiled.
"Yeah I guess so. That wasn't the first time I've been crushed, but that one might have hit the hardest because I thought I was so close to getting through to him. I really thought I was going to help him save himself."
"The world needs people like you Lisa. Don't ever stop dreaming and being who you are. I'll bet my life that you made his last moments here so beautiful. You were so wonderful."
Lisa smiled at her, feeling tingly at her words. It helped subside the pain of the thought of losing her friend. She was about to speak again before they got interrupted.
"Hey, breaks long over, get to work"
The brunette looked up to see her manager standing over them.
"Come on, I already let you have an extra ten minutes."
The brunette looked at Lisa apologetically.
"I'm sorry Lisa, I have to go. Will you--"
"Hurry up, there's a line," the manager yelled, losing his patience at the fact the brunette wasn't following him.
The brunette looked and cursed as she saw the long line of customers. "Fuck." It was rush hour after all.
"Go before you get in trouble." Lisa said with a smile.
"Ugh. Okay, I'm sorry! I'll see you around?" she asked hopefully.
"You will." Lisa said, fully intending on fulfilling that promise.
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A/N
Would you rather look up or look down when you fall? Neither? I need to know.
Also brownie points for anyone who guesses the k drama I just referenced.