Was rereading this chapter and it's a little strange lmao...a bit out of character for the book and it's not really relevant, you can read it if you want but don't let it put you off the book because the rest of it is just not like this chapter at alllll.
Mila's Pov
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"Do you remember when we were little and we would aways get stuck taking care of Blair, so we would lead her out here, then spin her a couple times and sprint back into the house?" He asks and I can't help but burst out laughing.
He admires my face, smiling at the fact he made me laugh. "Oh god we were so mean to her. In fairness, I used to play house with her all the time. I'd be the mom and Blair would be the little baby." He twirls me and then dips my back, securely holding me to him.
"I remember watching you braid her hair for hours and hours because she was always so picky, still is." I smile at the memory, we truly were an awful trio.
"Blair was like a baby sister, but ten times more annoying..." I loved her until we stopped talking I suppose.
"And what about me?" He asks.
"You? I liked you for a while, then you decided marrying me was an option. So there wasn't much left to like..."
.....
Flashback
13 years ago
"You're pretty." He says while handing me a little pink flower, while I use everything in my power to not respond.
"What's your name?" He asks as I gather more sand, putting his pretty pink flower on the bench behind me. "You first." I reply, he seems unsure but eventually gains the courage to answer.
"Carter Crawford." I nod, returning to molding the sand. "It's your turn." Such an irritating little boy, my age, but still.
"Emilia. Emilia Violet. But my friends call me Vee." We fall into a silence before I take a look over at him, gathering sand to make his own castle. "This isn't a competition!"
I ignore his silly little antics, carving out little windows in my castle. "You're just mad that mine is better than yours."
"Fine... if you keep annoying me, I'll tell my mom." I stare him down, putting my bucket back on the sand. "You do that? Then I'll tell my dad."
His hazel eyes glared into mine before I held out my hand. "Truce?" Carter glances at my hand, then his interlocks with mine. "Deal."
.....
Present
"That was years ago, and it's not like my choice had much of an input, they knew we were getting married anyway. Whether I said yes or not. I was only nine." Oh he had a choice, he always had a choice.
We were best friends, childhood friends. Except one day? Our parents told us that at age 19, we would have to marry. Little did I know, that Carter had an option. To marry me or to not marry me. To not ruin my future and obliterate our friendship, he chose wrong.
Over the next 9 years, we avoided each other, refused to sit together and glared at one another at every opportunity possible. Until a couple weeks ago when my mother had the bright idea of sending me to boarding school, along with Carter and Blair.
Despite the fact I had leftover resentment from the arranged marriage fiasco, I still believed that we were soulmates in a way. Past tense.
"Carter, they would have built you a mansion if you asked for it. Let's not pretend like your choice didn't affect my entire future. Our, entire future." I drop his hand, taking a step back from him.
"That's not fair... I didn't just say yes for the fun of it Mila. I chose you, I will always choose you love." The rain splashed down around us, It was getting colder by the second.
"Too bad I didn't choose you." I whisper, throwing the words back in his face.
I hate being mean to him and I hate the way a small bit of hurt, shines through his pretty hazel eyes. But he hurt me all those years ago, whether he intended to or not.
I pick up the ends of my dress and begin to walk towards the reception, it's only when my back is turned that he speaks out. "Don't go."
It's more a plea than an order, his voice low and desperate. But I keep walking, ignoring how a small tear falls down my face.
I ruin everything.
I'm not enough.
I'm not capable of friendship.
I hate everyone.
I'm walking in silence, almost out of the gardens until an ear piercing scream sounds from inside the building. Shit.
"Carter!" I shout out but it's deathly silent, I can't help but feel my hands start to tremble. But it's fine, my dad taught me this. I stay close to the walls in the garden, my back flush against the stone. I edge my way back towards the house until I'm at the kitchen door.
You can do this.
In any normal setting, people would be sprinting out of this house, but since it's mafia upon mafia in here. Everyone is inside, ready to shoot whoever moves. The kitchen is empty, just leftover food and plates wrapped on some shelves.
I move further into the house, grabbing a gun from one of the creaky floorboards in the dining room. I hate how fucking silent it is. Who's dead? Who's alive? Who's bleeding?
I could save myself, hide and fear for my existence. But my dad taught me better than that. I open the main doors to the reception hall, trying my best to be quiet. The room is cleared, totally empty apart from the tables and chairs. Almost like everyone poofed into thin air.
I creep back out of the room, keeping the gun close to my chest. My dads office door is so tempting, another room that was left untouched during my mothers remodel.
It's his room, smells like him, it even kinda looks like him. Whether that makes sense or not, it just reminds me of him. It's the room where he kept all of his belongings and pictures. The most dangerous man in all of North America, with a little blonde daughter that worshipped his every move.
.....
Flashback
9 Years Ago
"COME ON. WHY ARENT YOU HELPING ME?" We stand around my Mother, practically flinching every time she shouts at us.
"MOMMA PLEASE. PLEASE STOP." I plead, getting down on my knees beside her, doing my best to take her hands away from his chest. "MOMMA LOOK AT ME."
I push her head towards mine, making sure she looks directly into my eyes. "MOM. H-he's gone..." Two of my fathers men hold her upwards, peeling her away from my dads limp body.
.....
Present
I hate thinking about it, simply because I feel like if I start? I'll never stop.
Was I enough for him?
Did he love me?
Why did he leave me?
But then I remember how much he wanted me to thrive, take over the mafia and how he always said to promise him, that no matter who I married, I should never take shit from any man that was unworthy of my presence.
So I'm gonna load this fucking gun and I will shoot anyone who I deem necessary. I take a couple steps past my fathers office, keeping the gun close to me.
As soon as I round the corner, I'm pressed into the wall, a knife at my neck. My eyes shut out of reflex, just awaiting death at this point. Except nothing happens.
"Miss me darling?" I question with a small smile, opening my eyes when I recognize the smell of Carters aftershave.
"Mila... You scared the shit out of me." The hand on my arm relaxes, but he doesn't remove the knife from my throat.
"You could kill me right now..." I whisper as our eyes meet one another. "Now what would be the fun in that? Slicing this silver knife through your pretty neck.. Surely you wouldn't enjoy that?"
My breathing increases rapidly, my heart pounding within my chest. "Carter..." He shivers when I say his name, too easy to mess with.
"Not to rain on your parade, but uhm... too late to tell you I have a knife kink?" I say quietly, biting my bottom lip as I drag a finger along his thumb, the gun still in my left hand.
"Oh yeah?" He teases and I nod.
The knife moves from my neck, he slides the flat part down my arm, past my waist and to the slit in my dress, my thigh on full display for him. "I still hate you Crawford."
He doesn't remove his eyes from mine, placing the cold silver against my inner thigh. "Glad the feelings mutual, for once."
Before he can move the knife further, I grab his arm, spinning him round so his back is to the wall and I'm the one in control. "Don't test me." I say in a low voice, putting the gun to his forehead, trying not to draw attention.
Unfortunately, it's cut short when one of my mothers security men walks out, pointing the gun at me but dropping it when he notices who I am. At least he knows his fucking place.
But I hate this Danté guy, for valid reasons and this is probably the only chance I'll have to do this. I move the gun from Carters forehead and click the trigger a single time. Boom. Dead.
Oh well?
Danté drops to the floor, blood trickling from his chest. Quite satisfying actually. I turn back to Carter who stares at me, open mouthed. "Mila! He is one of our men! What the hell?"
"He used to make me and Blair undress in front of him when we got changed." I say as Carters face drops.
"Then why on earth is there only one bullet through his head?" Before I can blink, he takes the gun from my hand and shoots once, aiming for Dantés head.
Oh well?
"Okay. Let's move." I move my body away from his, passing him the gun as I take the knife. He lets me lead the way, spotting my back as I walk forward.
We make our way up the stairs, leaving dirt on the red carpet from the gardens. We bump into some people, various mafia associates from across the world but none that are worth worrying about. Carter gives them directions to the nearest exit as we continue to move throughout the house, making sure there is no one left.
Who on earth even shot a gun in the first place, who screamed? I push open the door to my mothers room, but the breathing on the other side tells me everything I need to know.
Carter jumps in ahead of me, holding the guy by the neck, a couple centimeters off the ground. "WHO ARE YOU WORKING FOR?" He shouts in his face, yet the guy shakes his head, squirming slightly in his grasp.
I position myself on the bed, spinning the knife in my fingers. "TELL ME." Nothing happens and I have zero patience, so I take my knife, lick the silver blade and throw it, aiming for his shoulder.
Carter smiles, shoving it in further. "She can do that again buddy. Over and over until you bleed all over this lovely white carpet." The guy drops his gun, thankfully before it lands, Carter catches it in his left hand, chucking it towards me.
"It won't be pretty, little man..." I taunt, getting up off the bed and walking towards him.
"FINE. F-fine. I work fo-" He gets cut off when I shove a hand to his mouth, hearing a creak of floorboards from my mothers closet.
"MILA. BEHIND YOU." Carter warns me as I spin around, dodging the bullet as it smashes into a mirror behind me.
My reflexes rip the knife from the guy who's currently pinned to the wall and I aim for his friends forehead, it satisfyingly lands directly where his unibrow is. Too slow little boy.
I walk over, clicking my heels against the carpet and take the knife out, slicing his stomach as the blood falls out of the cut. Lovely.
I walk back over to Carter, currently smirking back at me. "Finish your damn sentence before I stick this down your throat." I taunt once again, awaiting his surrender.
Thankfully it doesn't take long. "Psychotic Bitch." He spits, blood that falls from his shoulder making a splashing noise against the carpet. "I-I'm with th-the Genovese family..."
Carter raises an eyebrow in question and I nod, he smiles, taking the guys gun and shooting him in the chest. The man falls limp onto the floor, success.
"He's right. You are one psychotic bitch." Carter remarks, holding out his hand for me to walk over the men. But instead, I grab the bottom of my heel and jab it into guy number 2's throat.
"I try my best, truly." I reply and he seems impressed, as he should. But I grimace when my dress drips with blood and rainwater onto the white carpet.
"You wanna go wash these off?" I ask Carter and he narrows his eyes. "Where?"
.....
The sand is cold against my feet, but in this very moment I couldn't care less. My feet carry me towards the water, the waves crashing against the cliffs around us.
Carter chases after me, ripping off his shirt as soon as we enter the water, it's still freezing, as expected but I can barely feel it.
Today.. I killed three people and tomorrow? I have a chemistry test. Strange world we live in.
The water soaks into my dress before I pull it over my head, chucking it back on the sand. Which leaves me in just my black lacey underwear. I would care if it wasn't dark, but it's practically pitch black so I'm shielded.
Carter and I swim around each other, maintaining eye contact through the cold. Although it feels like ice, it's more a thrilling sensation, a murdering high? I murdered bad people, I think...?
"I really enjoyed all that... Feels better than the whole cheerleading thing." I whisper as he rakes his eyes over what's visible. "It's okay to outgrow what no longer suits you Mila."
But I liked my comfort zone, it was... comfy? Safe and warm, yet boring.
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Authors Note
Opinions on chapter 😭
Lots of Love babies, from a very sad ella <3
Words - 2485
Date - 21/03/22
Reads - 17.4k