I crumpled the paper I had just written on, throwing it into the bin like some sort of basketball. It has been in this pattern for sometime, I try to write something, yet it turns out real shitty so I just throw it. And here I am again, trying to do that article for the school paper which was due tomorrow. When I still didn't get the words that would render it right and make it sound precise, I groaned in frustration, throwing everything on my desk onto the floor, and went outside. Maybe, I just need a breather. Just a little one.
I slammed the door on my way outside, still pissed at myself for being such a person with shitty talent, and crappy self. I hated it. I despised the fact that my parents look up to me to set myself as an example to my sister yet here I am being such a constant failure.
I do not know, but the only thing I had on my mind that day was to let go of all the steam inside me, so I went to my usual spot near the stream, and laid down on the grass a couple of meters away from the body of water, playing with some of the small rocks that came near my hands.
It was comforting, seemingly providing the solace I needed, the quietness I wanted. It gave me the peace of mind. However, I still find myself agitated on everything. How my parents think I should be doing this instead of that, and how I am being compared to my sister. It sucks. It sucks that you feel so abhorred, so anathematized, so unwanted. More than half of the school population think I am someone who's trying to be Little Miss All Good, someone so uptight, someone who sticks by every rule. They don't know how I'm just trying to build this facade of nobody trying to break into my walls. And now, I'm the one breaking down. And just right now, I felt the tears streaming down my face.
I closed my eyes as I felt the drops slowly becoming streams. I didn't want to see the sky when I cry, I didn't want to see the perfect view when it slowly sinks in how imperfect I am. I let all of my burdens build up and all I do is cry myself like this, releasing the emotional pain, the mental exhaustion.
I had no idea how many minutes has it been since I let myself succumb to my own tears until I felt someone take a spot next to me.
"You built walls that cause yourself to crumble."
"I...", I mumbled, sitting up.
"You put up a facade where everyone thinks you're strong, you can do it on your own, yet deep inside, you're screaming for help, you want to have someone rescue you from drowning in your own emotions", he continued.
When he said that, I let myself cry my heart out in front of him, the school's most popular guy. I didn't care at the moment if someone would see us and be grossed at how the school's nobody suddenly talked to someone who was in line with the Populars. Maybe, this is what I really need in my life, let someone in that would listen to you lay all your burdens down.
I felt a little bit relieved with him just listening to me, knowing at least someone was there for a nobody like me. That at least, even with the social inequality, he decided to come up and crack my walls a bit.
I started standing up, brushing the dry leaves off of my shorts when he suddenly pulled me in and caged me in a tight embrace.
"You need this", he said, feeling him smile on my shoulder.
"T-thanks Ash", I stuttered, awkwardly putting my arms in a way to hug him back.
When he pulled away, he brushed his thumb on my face, sort of clearing the wetness cause by my tears.
"You're a wonderful person who isn't supposed to cry", he said. I smiled back in return, silently mumbling thank yous for everything he has done today, even for just a short while. For a few minutes, I felt like Ashton was just one of us, the Nobodys, the Ignored.
I was already about to take a turn onto the next block when I felt a hand pull mine.
"Uhm, Ash",I said, quite trying to hind the blush I knew was forming on my face. His hands were so soft and I do not even understand why it felt so good.
"Let's runaway. I want you to forget everything that bothers you. I want you to clear your mind. I want you to getaway from those shackles that hold you back, even just for today", he told me with a sincere look.
"Ashton..."
"Are you with me, Shantel?"
I lacked the words to say, so I just intertwined my hands with his as a response, making him smile and sport his dimples that work so well with his hazel eyes and blondish hair. In a matter of seconds, he pulled me over to his car, opening the door to the shotgun seat and letting me in. After he shut it, he went on to his side and started the ignition. Then all of a sudden, he lean towards me.
"Promise me one thing for today, Shantel. Promise me, there's no looking back, even for today. Just look on what's around you, what's in front of you", he said while buckling me up with the seat belt.
I nodded, looking down and trying to swallow the lump in my throat while trying to keep a normal pace with my breathing due to the little space that was enclosing us a little while ago.
I had no idea where he was taking me, but I trusted him. He was right, when I keep looking back at the stuff that kept me bound to my walls, my own demons tear me apart. The most important time, is now. What matters the most is right at the moment, because it's something you could make most out of, and its something you could create new and better memories.
The rest of the day went so well. We went to this cliff where we decided to be complete dorks by shouting random stuff and just listen to ourselves echo through the valley. There was this one where we just picked dandelions and let the little white one float in the air, or we blow through it and make the stupidest wishes as we watch the fluffs drift away in the wind.
I don't know, but I never felt so good and I never had a hearty laugh like that in months. It felt so good, so grand, so amazing. I felt like I was relieved of everything.
I felt like I was back to my carefree days as a little kid, just running around, fooling around. Tripping on the grass and just laughs at my own stupidity. Thanks to Ashton for making all of these possible.
Ashton took me to other places as well, like this place where water just spurts out all of a sudden. I didn't mind getting drenched with Ashton, I really didn't. It was like I wasn't even a teenager. I was literally like a kid. It was how he made me feel. He made me forget that I was shackled and enclosed in four walls, drowning in my demons. He saved me. He broke the walls.
I was enjoying the fake rain the spurt of water created when I felt someone pull me, and lips were suddenly on mine. I was shocked for a few seconds but I found myself responding and kissing back, just giving into the spur of the moment. I don't know but I just felt my hands going through his hair, and by that I knew it was Ashton.
By the time he pulled away, he rested his forehead on mine, panting for breaths.
"When I said don't look back, it was also for me. Because, I wouldn't mind doing that in front of everybody else in the school population. I wouldn't mind them criticizing and not approving of who I have fallen for. I wouldn't let them change the way my heart beats. I wouldn't let them get in the way of us. Seeing you so alone, so walled, so caged made me want to help, but I was afraid, at first. When I saw you earlier, I knew I had to. And when I did, my heart exploded. This maybe weird, but hold my hand and take the world on with me, not just today, but tomorrow, and the next days?" he said, holding out a hand.
"Ashton... I... always liked you, you know? And I'm so grateful you're the one who cracked my shell up. You're a wonderful person, a very wonderful one for not looking down on how people are classified", I responded, putting a hand on his, and looking into the horizon.
"Run, baby, run?" he asked, smiling.
I nodded, and we started making our way back into the car. He lent me one of his shirts, and we made our way back home, stopping by the cliff awhile ago to see the sun setting and watch how majestic the sky was as it changed hues.
We went back to our place, hand in hand. Because, it takes a time to pull yourself together, time when no one could tell when and how long, but just drops itself at your feet, and brings more surprises than you think.
He might just be passing through to teach me lessons in life. He may not stay forever. But he's right, today is what matters and we all have to make the nest out of every second of every moment you have in your hands.
My view of life has been better since he was by my side and now, there's no turning back for real.
***
Alright, this has been so deep I had no idea what came into me. So wey hey, here you go with the tenth one shot! Idk but I really loved Check Yes Juliet on this and it has been so long since my last Ashton one shot (the last one was one shot two: tenerife sea) and it's our little drummer boy's birthday. So as a little gift to all of you Ashton girls reading this, here you go. But well, let me dedicate this to the Ashton of my Mashton, Shantel (twitter: KUMANDERAFI). Idk but I just decided to give this one to you and switch it up to Ashton. I love this plot so much idk. I love you.
So, okay, here's something for everyone. One, I really am not over Michael following me and mentioning me for a very lame question but if you are so in love with the Future Hearts album, hmu on twitter. LET US TALK. Two, the update schedules are on my bio in here so, go check it. I usually don't update if I got examinations the day after, which usually happens Mondays, Tuesdays, and Fridays. I really decided to focus more on school to avoid the same mistake again. Third, thanks again for more than a thousand reads. Continue rocking on, and don't give up on your sunshine follow, 'cause it'll come. Don't be afraid to drop your comments below since I appreciate every single one of them.