Loki and I stayed at the house for a while. Of course no longer than we were there Jacob started his shit.
"So did you come back to help protect Bella?"
"No" Loki and I said at the same time.
"Why not? She's human"
"Yeah I don't really care. Not my problem anymore."
"Seriously, i love her come on. And so much for wanting to use your powers for good now huh? I guess you really are a monster."
When he said those words everyone stopped. I dropped the temperature around us that it could bother a shifter. "You better watch what you say Jacob. I know I am monster so be careful or she'll come out to play starting with the blood bag handing her over to the red head." I stated coldly as my eyes flashed blew and tilted my head to the side.
"Snowflake" Loki warned.
"No fair mischief."
It was silent for a second and peter was staring at me. "Wait a second. You were just winter weren't you?" Peter asked.
"Yes I was. During my training with Loki, he helped me channel her more to where I can practically hear her inside my head, all I have to do is flip a switch and shes here. No more trigger words or activation words." I state. I start to walk around Jacob who is looking pale. "Also while I was gone I started thinking, everyone already thinks I am a monster even though I did not have control of myself, hydra did, so why not just become that monster right? Channeling my inner winter, allowed me to accept myself more since I finally accepted her. So now I am her, and she is me."
Dad and mom already knew all of this. I talked to them first before having Loki help me with it. I did not know if it was a smart decision so on one of our late night phone calls I talked to them about it.
"Did you know?" The pack turned looking at mom and dad.
"Yes. She actually called us and talked to us about the idea. We thought it would be a step in accepting who she is. So she needed to accept that side of her even more." Dad tells them.
"SHE KILLS PEOPLE!" Jacob yells.
"Correction, I kill people who deserve it such has terrorist organizations and other crime committing people who do not get served the proper justice. But you keep pushing my buttons and you'll be my first target I kill willingly for no reason." I state coldly again.
Eventually he shut up. Loki and I kept visiting for a while until we decided to go home. I teleported us to the house and unlocked it and went inside.
"You can stop masking yourself now. Drop the illusion."
"You know me too well" when I dropped it I had bags under my eyes from being so tired and the pain etched across my face as my chest was tightening.
Loki just looked at me and pulled me into his chest. "It's gonna be okay."
I just nod my head not trusting my voice now. After he lets go I conjure a bottle of vodka, some ice cream, and start drinking. Loki doesn't say anything he just grabs the bottle and drinks with me. He even conjures some spoons for the ice cream.
"Do you have a mission tonight?" He asked me.
"No not that I know of."
"Okay. If or when you do just be careful at there. Never know if it could be hydra."
"Yeah I know. Thanks for looking out for my mischief."
"Of course snowflake."
The next day I woke up and went to make breakfast. When I walked to the kitchen I saw Peter was already awake.
"Good morning spider."
"Morning snow" he said.
"Peter are we okay?" I ask nervously.
"Yeah why wouldn't we be?"
"I don't know. Maybe because we aren't as close as we used to be?" I say sadly.
"Well then lets spend the day just you and me"
"That sounds great actually."
I left a note for Loki to find when he gets up and Peter and I head to the diner for breakfast.
"So how are you doing Payton? Honestly. I do not want y0u sugar coating it with me because you do not want to break me away from my happiness. You are my twin. In a weird loving way we are connected so talk. We aren't leaving till everything is off your chest." He tells me.
The waitress comes up and takes our orders. While we wait I begin to tell him everything that has happened from the time Japer left, to yesterday of me returning. It was hard talking about everything. Especially telling your twin you almost killed yourself, and then still have thoughts on it sometimes because of how much it hurts and death would be better than this pain. I also told him how I am trying to mask my pain by being a cold hearted bitch when those emotions get overwhelming. So to a lot of people it may seem that I am just a bitch, but deep down I am dying inside.
Peter ended up crying some while I told him but he sat there and listened to me. I told him about my under the table missions, sleeping with lady Loki, drinking, going to clubs, and just truly accepting that I am a monster and not caring about it anymore.
Our food came and we changed the subject a little bit. I asked him about him and Embry. I genuinely cared about his relationship. He went on to tell me they completed their bond, and have confessed to being in love with one another. He looked so happy and in love talking about Embry.
After we finished eating we headed to the beach. We sat near the shore and just stared into the water. Eventually peter spoke up again.
"You know when dad told me what happened to you in New York I was terrified. I also felt like a failure as a brother. I didn't even notice your own pain and suffering and I let you push yourself away. I really thought I was going to lose you for a second and you'd never know how much I love you. I do not tell you enough sis. I love you. For who you are. Even after everything you have done with the under the table missions, the drinking, all of it, I still see you as my little sister. And I cannot do this life without you. I had you make me immortal with you for a reason, and that is because I love you so much, id rather live forever, then eventually have to go a time in life where I did not have you."
"I am so sorry Peter. I really have tried working through it all but it just hurts so bad."
"I know sis." He says pull be close to him.
The rest of the day we kept talking about everything and getting back to our usual selves. It was nice. If only I knew what was about to come in just a couple weeks.