Chapter Song: Vulnerable by Selena Gomez
Evelyn
That was the best date of my life. I don't think any date will ever top that; It was perfect.
While we were running from the sprinklers, which honestly was insanely comical, I took one of the irises from the cup.
Now I've set it on my desk and I can't help but feel like it might be my new favorite flower. And maybe, just beyond that, maybe I have a new favorite person. I know it's early, but we've known each other for two months and when I'm with him I just...feel.
I feel joy, comfort, and safety. It's refreshing and, if I'm being completely honest, it's new.
If Wasabi possessed the ability to speak, I'm sure we'd have a long conversation about this. But he doesn't, so I guess my only consultant will be myself. A therapist would be nice, but I don't see myself addressing any deep problems with a one, I'd probably just talk about the people I don't like. I can do that with Wasabi though, so it's kind of like he's my therapist. That's not depressing at all.
Shit, it's cold in my apartment.
I've been told since I was a child that the best cure for being sick is a good night's sleep and Vitamin C. Following that logic, I think I'll eat a few melatonin gummies for some good sleep and eat an orange for the vitamin C. That should work. In theory.
I'm uneducated on the effects of melatonin overdose, so consuming five gummies may not have been the best idea. I probably should've looked at the back of the box. Oh well. At least I'll die happy.
~~~
"Are you okay?" Michael asked. "You said you needed to vent."
"You'll never guess what happened."
"What happened?"
I told Michael I wanted to meet him for lunch. It's been three days since our date and I've never been happier. Except for an hour ago.
"So," I started. "This guy came in to order a coffee, his name is Brad."
"Sounds like a douche."
"Oh for sure. I gave him his order and he said I made his coffee wrong. Which, for the record, was just black coffee, so there is no way I made it wrong. I've been a barista for two years, I think I know how to brew a pot of coffee. But that's beside the point.
"I asked him if he wanted me to remake the drink completely free of charge and he said 'no, but now you have to live with the fact that you messed up my coffee. I hope you sleep restlessly."
"The fuck?"
"I know! And he just walked out after that. I was dumbfounded."
"I don't have words."
"I have quite a few actually, but I'm making an effort to be a good person, so I won't share them."
Michael chuckled. I love his chuckle. It's not a full laugh, but it's enough to show that he has a soul in there somewhere. And the way his lips quirk up into the smallest of smiles is so adorable. He's so-
I sneezed.
I just sneezed the world's most horrific sneeze and I think I'm going to die of embarrassment.
Ugh, I felt that in my soul.
"Bless you?"
"Oh," I laughed nervously, "thanks."
Michael looked at me part concerned and part perplexed when he asked, "Are you okay?"
"Me? Oh yeah, I'm fine. It's probably just allergies."
Or my immune system sucks.
Or I've been up really late scrolling on TikTok every night for the past week and haven't gotten much sleep.
Or maybe I should've had two oranges instead of one with my melatonin two nights ago.
I think I'll try that tonight, see what happens.
"Ev?"
"Yeah," I snapped my head up to look at him.
"I lost you for a second. You good?"
"Oh yeah, I was just thinking that I need to get some food for Wasabi. I used the last of it this morning."
"Do you want to go now?"
"I've got nothing better to do."
~~~
"Why are there so many different types of fish food?" Michael asked, staring at the wall of betta fish food.
"Don't be fooled, Batman. They're all the exact same just in different colors. I buy the rainbow one to spice up Wasabi's boring life."
Michael raised an eyebrow.
"I mean, when it comes down to it, fish are doomed to live in an endless cycle of swimming in the exact same tank for the entirety of their lives. It's the same concept as corporate mediocrity except the fish can't escape."
Michael stared at me absolutely bewildered.
"What?"
"I don't know what to say."
I playfully punched his arm, "Come on, I know you know what you want to say."
"Yeah, I think I do: Not to sound like a broken record, but are you okay?"
"Always and never," I winked. "But I am always okay when I'm with you, so I'll take that as a win. Now come on, let's pay for this and then we can go to my apartment and feed Wasabi."
When we walked up to the self checkout line and scanned the food, Michael's jaw dropped. "One container of fish food is five dollars? Isn't that more than what the fish costs?"
I raised my eyebrows at him, "how much do you think a betta fish costs?"
"Two dollars? Maybe three?"
I laughed, "try twenty."
"You're joking."
"I'm not. Wait one second." I finished paying for the food and I walked Michael over to the fish tanks and pointed at the prices. Some fish were only five dollars but the most expensive betta fish were around twenty five dollars.
"How is one fish twenty five dollars?" Michael asked, bewildered. "The fish isn't even half the size of a dollar bill."
"Just wait until I tell you how much it costs to keep the fish alive."
~~~
"My apartment is kind of a mess," I started as I wiggled my key inside the lock. "So please don't judge."
"I won't. Do you-uh-need help with that?"
"This?" I motioned to the lock which still wouldn't unlock. "I'm okay, thanks. This happens sometimes. You kind of just have to jiggle it a bit for it to open."
"Is that safe?"
"Absolutely not."
After three more seconds of trying, the door clicked open. "Yes! Suck it, shitty door."
I turned the lights on and all of a sudden I was self conscious. I didn't think about it before, but what would Michael think?
My apartment is my home and sharing it is a certain type of vulnerability I didn't even consider when I invited him over.
My interests, my personality, my biggest insecurities are written all over the walls.
He can see my Harry Styles posters, all of my books, the little glass animals I keep on my windowsill, the absolute lack of food in my pantry. Everything, every bit of my personality is laid exposed for him tear apart if he chooses to.
I've found that now, watching him take in the room, I can't breathe. He's going to hate it. It's too much. Just like me. I should've known this would be it for him, I'm too much it's all-
"It reminds me of you."
I snap my head up to look at him. "What does?"
"Everything," he said, completely awestruck. "It all reminds me of you."
"In a bad way?"
"What?" He turned and took my hands in his. "No, why would you think that?"
I bowed my head and shrugged, "I guess I'm just used to it."
"Ev, it reminds me of you in the best way. Your energy and joy and passion. It's all here and it's all you. Every fun, beautiful part."
I couldn't help my smile for the rest of the evening.
~~~
HEYYYYYYYYY
I promise that now I'll be posting more than I was before
I didn't spell check this because I'm about to start the next chapter and I'm excited. So sorry for any mistakes haha
I have so much planned for the next few chapters. It's about to get gooooooooood
Enjoy everyone!