I don't think I've ever thought I'd hate my life more than I do now.
After the blow-up with my father, he left the estate and went to hell knows where leaving me to deal with my anger alone. Not that I thought it would have gone otherwise.
I paced in the living room, cracking my knuckles once in a while to let the frustration out. My mother sat on the couch with her elbows resting on her knees and her head in her hands. She was on the verge of tears but no matter how much I loved her, I couldn't see anything else but red in my eyes at the present. I knew that if I tried to console her now, I'd only make the situation worse.
Egon stood leaned against the entry arc to the room with his arms crossed over his chest and eyes looking down on the floor.
Ri sat next to my mother, one arm wrapped around her. And for some reason, Guinevere stood by one of the windows right next to the white couch on which my mother and Ri sat.
"You can't pace around for the rest of the day," Egon broke the silence which comforted me for some reason. "He'll come back eventually."
"He can go fuck himself, for all I care," I spat out, running a hand through my hair, which grew out quite a bit since everything went to shit. But I didn't even make a mental note for future me to cut it. If it bothers me later, I'll do it.
"Liam," my mother's weak voice said, "he's your father-"
"How fucking dare you?" I turned to look at her. "He abused me my entire childhood. Is that what a father is?" It took me a shit ton of strength to cover the scars on my chest with tattoos. It's one of the only reasons for which I have most of the art on my body. "He can't even keep his dick in his pants so he runs off every night to hell knows where." I chuckled. "Hell, maybe he's with an escort right now?"
"Liam, not in front of-"
"What difference does it make?" I looked at Riella, whose eyes shot daggers at me. "She knows it, she knows what her husband is up to and then decides that it shouldn't be any of my damn concern?" I scoffed. "This is my estate now, and as much as it hurts me to know that your husband isn't in love with you because you don't deserve that, mom, you can't sit here and think I will stay silent about this." Her teary eyes looked up at me, breaking what was left of my heart into pieces.
No person wants to see their mother, the person who was there for them every step of the way and gave them life, in tears, close to their breaking point. At least most people.
"It's actually devastating that I have to share my blood with him because I swear, he doesn't deserve any happiness on this goddamn Earth," I looked away from my mother towards the foyer through the entrance to the room.
"There has to be an explanation for this," Egon muttered under his breath.
"This is all so fucking frustrating," I sighed, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Maybe you should take a breather, Liam," I rolled my eyes, not bothering to look at Guinevere.
"Why are you still here?"
"I'm not allowed to be?" I groaned out of frustration and walked out of the room. I was over this with her. Just being around her made me sick. I made my way upstairs as the sound of heels clicking echoed behind me. I rolled my eyes as I tried to reach my bedroom door but stopped as her hand pulled me back by my elbow. I looked at her as her hand held me.
"Get the hell out of my face."
"Liam, she died and you have to move on. You're twenty-one years of age, how the hell are you so certain that Celes-"
"Shut your damn mouth!" I shouted at her, making her flinch. I yanked her hand off me before pinning her against the wall with my hand wrapped around her throat. "You have no idea who she is and what she means to me." She swallowed hard. "If you say her name one more time, I'll throw you out of this place." Her eyes stared up at me, trying to understand if this would be it for her. "And don't you, for a second think, that just because you fucked me against my will, you'll become my girl. That seat is taken for-fucking-ever." I released her throat and stepped away from her before opening my bedroom door.
"She's not coming back. Remember that," she said before walking away from my wing and leaving me on my own. I shut the door behind me and walked over to the centre of the room before taking a deep breath.
Except, the only thing it did was make it worse.
The anger resurfaced, making me grab the end bench of my bed and throw it at the wall opposite the balcony doors. I screamed as the bench collided with the wall, making it drop to the ground, basically shattered.
I started breathing rapidly, my hands beginning to tremble. I took in a deep breath before I ran my fingers through my hair and sat down at the end of the bed. I stared at the ground before something in my closet caught my attention.
I jerked my head upwards, trying to breathe quietly so I could see if I was imagining.
A light sound made its way to my ears. I rose to my feet and walked over to the door before I opened it slowly. I grabbed my gun with my free hand just in case and walked inside once the door was opened enough. I glanced around the room but as much as I could swear on my life that I heard the sound, there was nothing there.
I took a few steps forward, looking for anything out of place until I stilled.
My eyes caught something on the far end of the island. I made my way to it before I got to have a closer look.
A book.
With a key.
The diary.
My gun dropped to the ground as shock took hold of me. The diary we'd been looking for was right in front of me. I frowned because there was no way it was that easy to get it. It... came to me?
I touched it before I opened it. The lock was opened and the moment I flipped the cover page open, I was met with the title page which was written in cursive and Italian.
Diary belonging to Mariana Bianco.
If by any means you get a hold of it, use it for good.
I flipped through the pages, reading some of her writing and noticed that there were many outlined sentences with red ink and most pages were stained with some liquid. Considering the small drops through the page, I assumed they were tears.
I sat down on the bench right by the island and took the book in my hands. It was heavier than I thought.
I spent a full hour reading everything until I got to the final ten pages. So far, there wasn't anything interesting but I did sense her deep hatred for Vincenzo. She didn't hold back calling him out for small remarks he'd thrown at her during family dinners or as she walked around the house.
Multiple times I read the word deficient [moron] or pezzo di merda [piece of shit] written in bold, addressing the one and only Vinc.
But everything I thought I knew was proven wrong as I began reading the final pages.
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I stood right beside the entry to the formal living room. Ever since Valentino decided to grace Rome with his presence, something was becoming very weird. I can't even talk about the fact that my husband, the love of my life was killed in the process.
As their voices became louder, I sucked in a breath.
"And what about Matteo?" My heart began to race from the mention of his name. From Val's mouth of all people. I had no doubt they were both responsible.
"He knew too much."
"And you killed him? Your family?"
"He was a threat. The information he was bearing could easily put us both six feet under." Vincenzo answered as I tried hard to keep my feet plastered where I was.
"He would've never said a word. Matteo wasn't like that as far as I'm concerned," Vinc was about to say something until Val continued. "But it's your decision. I trust you with it." I frowned. They were two peas in a pot. Both seek power over anything. Over family for fuck's sake.
"But he knew everything, Valentino. Everything." He emphasized the final word.
"So what that he knew my plan and our alliance?"
Alliance?
Matteo came back to our apartment in downtown Rome weeks ago, a few days before they killed him. He told me about a contract between Vinc and Val but he didn't mention it was an alliance. He didn't even tell me most of what it was about but I got the idea.
Valentin is power-hungry. He wanted to take over the Martinelli famiglia but his sister stood in the way of that dream. Riella was the firstborn and the rightful heir to the throne.
She was already married and a week before her official coronation, she was found dead in a car accident together with her husband and her three-month-old baby in the womb.
As much as everyone even the Martinelli believed the story about an accidental crash, it was all fake. She didn't die because of an accident.
"There wasn't need for him either way," Vinc said, making my blood boil.
"He had a child."
"She'll get taken care of," my entire body stilled as my eyes widened. "She's an innocent kid but I can't leave her and that whore of her mother if Matteo is gone. Too much of a risk." I quickly covered my mouth with my hand as my other one began to shake uncontrollably.
"You think he told her?"
"Of course he did. These stupid men don't have an understanding of omertà apparently." I almost laughed.
Omertà.
The code of silence. The most important, unspoken rule of the mafia. Brak it - get doomed. There were no exceptions. But Matteo and I became a pair the moment we married. Everyone in the underworld knows that the spouses most likely knew everything that happened in the other's life or business. As much as I understand their concern about my knowledge of most of what my husband got killed for, he didn't break omertà. As much as he would have done everything to stop them, he was loyal.
"You'll do it, or should I?" Valentino asked, raising my suspicion.
"I'll kill her. It won't be hard."
"And the kid?" I tried to keep it quiet as my eyes began to water.
"I'll spare her." He wasn't going to let her go this easily. This was Vincenzo that was talking. Not some kind of caring man. "At least you're going to be on the throne now." Val chuckled.
"And you'll have Isabella," my eyes widened. This could not have been for her. He did not kill my husband and the innocent heir to the Martinelli throne just for her.
"Indeed. I heard she was pretty happy about this," I wanted to vomit my guts out. This was actually fucked up. "Maybe she wasn't so fond of your grumpy ass," I shook my head as my body trembled. I knew this world was cruel but it makes you understand what it's actually like only when you come across it yourself.
My death was already decided.
It was only a matter of time until he would strike.
"I have a woman on my radar so don't worry. I'll have my piece of pussy soon," I started breathing rapidly, and tears streamed down my cheeks as I listened to them. I couldn't walk away, yet I desperately wanted to. "And one last thing," Valentin said before I started to hear footsteps coming towards the room. "I heard that Vlad knows about this."
"Hey!" That would get all of their attention. I turned around to see one of the guards looking right at me from across the hall. "What are you doing?"
"Well, well, well..." Vinc's voice echoed behind me. I stilled before his hands gripped me and twisted me around to face him. His palm collided with my cheeks as he slapped me, leaving behind a killing sting sensation that forced out a cry out of me. "What is wrong with you?" He yelled, slapping me again.
"Vincenzo, please," I pleaded although I knew it was for nothing. He pulled me into the living room with his hand on my wrist. He pushed me onto the couch and then just as I wanted to move as far away from him as possible, he flipped me on my back and grabbed my throat.
"You know everything, don't you, whore?" My entire body shook from fear.
"Don't you dare hurt her," I said, tears streaming down my face. His hideous smirk sent shivers down my spine. "Please, Vincenzo. Do whatever you want with me, but please don't hurt my baby," his eyes looked down at my lips and then onto my eyes. If I wasn't sure where this was about to go, I wouldn't be frightened.
His face moved closer to my ear, letting his breaths touch my skin.
"Please, Vincenzo," I pleaded as his free hand went up my hips to cup my breast. I closed my eyes, feeling the emptiness indulge me.
"Only thing you're good for is this, Mariana." His hand slowly moved lower towards the hem of my dress. "Isn't that right, Val?" My eyes shot open to see Valentino standing close behind Vinc, his back against the wall and his arms crossed over his chest. He gave me a smile before his tongue coated his bottom lip. I looked back at Vinc whose eyes looked right at me as his finger brushed my covered core, making me wince.
"Look at her," Val said before he let out a laugh.
"Shouldn't you be excited? All you ever cared about was money and a good fuck, isn't that right, Mariana?" I swallowed the growing lump in my throat before he tucked his index finger under my underwear and brushed my clit.
"Vincenzo, please," My vision blurred before I closed my eyes and accepted my fate.
Both of them touched me. Both of them laughed at my face when they used me and humiliated me for the rest of my life. I knew this world was cruel but to actually experience this was a whole different degree of gruesome.
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Mariana's letter
The recordings have the tape of that if someone doesn't believe and please, find my baby. Valentina should be alive. I knew it wasn't her the moment I saw her body. Even though the corpse's face was destroyed, I knew it wasn't my offspring.
I don't know where she might be but wherever that might be, she's not safe.
Please, find her and take care of her. Don't let her know what I've gone through. And kill them. For everything.
For me, my daughter and my husband but as well as Riella and her husband with their innocent offspring.
Let them burn in the deepest depths of hell.
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