"We still need to figure out who sold us out," Jerr grumbled.
Aven sighed. "That as well. All these political troubles are giving me a headache."
"A headache is the least of your problems, Aven," Jerr countered, a bit annoyed.
"I know that," he shot back. "But nonetheless, this world would be a better place without Fire Moon."
"Without Beckett," I specified. I did not care for Beckett or really anyone of the Fire Moon Pack. But I did care about Agni, who had sacrificed so much for us.
"They go hand in hand." Aven shot me a warning look. I needed to tread carefully with my next words.
"Beckett controls Fire Moon. The Pack has always been horrible to me, because Beckett ordered them to. Maybe with another Alpha -"
Aven cut me off before I could finish my sentence. "And where do you suggest we find this other Alpha? Currently, all the known wolves that possess the power of Agni are close to Beckett."
"I don't know," I said, lowering my eyes towards the floor. But if war meant children dying, innocent people becoming victims of a play between two powerful wolves, I wanted to avoid that. I didn't care about my previous pack, for all I cared they could all die. But it was the people I cared about, the humans. Benjamin and his family, Gil. Even the others, even if they too hadn't been any good to me or my parents. And it was Agni I cared about, too. I hadn't once blamed the horrors of my life on our eighth Moon. I knew that she would rage if she saw how Beckett abused her Gift.
"Some problems need to be taken out, root and stem. Fire Moon is one of those. But back to why I brought you here," Aven spoke, slightly irritated. "Over the last days, did you notice anything odd about Beckett? Did he see anyone out of the ordinary?"
I shook my head. "I avoided Beckett as much as I could. I mostly ran into him in the town, when he came to the local bar where I spent most of my time or in the streets. But now that I think about it, he hadn't shown his face in town for the last days leading up to the Ascension. I had to go to him to ask about how and when we would leave for my Ascension." I shuddered at the memory of what had happened when I visited the Central Building. I instinctively grabbed my fingers, and I saw Aven nod in understanding. He had seen my hand when I arrived at the Castle. By the time I had run into Jerr, Leya had healed it already.
"So you didn't see anything else?" Aven asked.
"No."
"Then why did you so bravely offer to sell Beckett out if you don't even have useful information?" A bitter feeling that resembled a mixture of anger and frustration hung over his grumbling.
"You did what?" Jerr asked, surprise and pride dancing on his features. "In front of Beckett?"
"Yes, I told the Alphas, Beckett included, I'd sell him out," I said to Jerr, shooting him an annoyed glance. It only amused him even more. I rolled my eyes at Jerr before I turned back to Aven. Before I even knew what I was saying, the words were spewing out of me, like liquid fire. "Don't even pretend that that is why you Ascended me. If that were the case, you would have stepped forward way earlier than you did. You even admitted you only let me in to piss him off. On the front of the usefulness of my information, I did just give you insight on Beckett's motive which lead to the discovery of his true intentions. I can also give you a lot more, other information, but I wasn't living as a spy. I had better things to occupy myself with, like finding food without mold and water without the town's waste in it."
The sensitivity of my story shut both wolves up for a while, although I could see Aven squinting his eyes. I had no idea what he was thinking and I hated to admit that that somehow scared me. Once again I was stuck with an Alpha who hated me. Only now, I had no more way out. Jerr cut my thoughts and broke the silence first. "I am sorry you had to go through that, Sari. And your knowledge on Fire Moon will be useful, I'm sure of it."
"We shall see about that last bit," Aven corrected him. "Where do your allegiances lie, young wolf?" He asked me.
"Here, in Death Moon," I answered, insulted but not surprised at the doubt about my loyalties. I hadn't been in Death Moon long enough to prove myself, but I knew that in time, I would.
"How far are you willing to go to prove that?"
Jerr wanted to cut in, and I saw worry written on his face as I beat him to it and answered Aven. "How far do you want me to go?"
I felt Jerr's green eyes pierce me, but I ignored it and kept my focus on Aven. "I don't want to wait until we are fully prepared for war before we avenge Willis. I want revenge, now. And with you, that can happen. You know Fire Moon, that gives us an edge."
"You want to strike back," I determined. "I'm in, whatever it is you're planning."
A devilish smile appeared on Aven's face, and in the corner of my eye I could see Jerr lightly shake his head. "She's not nearly strong enough," he objected.
"I know," Aven said. I knew, too. But I was sick and tired of being too weak to fight back against Beckett. "Sari will train with Feytan, starting tomorrow. But even then, I'm not sending her to Fire Moon."
"You're not?" I asked surprised. He was just talking about involving me in this revenge. And now he already changed his mind?
"I'm not. You know Fire Moon, but Fire Moon knows you as well. And I don't trust you nearly enough to let you into enemy territory."
"Then what exactly do you expect of me?"
"Information," he said. "But not right now. You should rest some more, since your training begins tomorrow. Jerr will escort you back to your room." And then he waved me away.
Jerr walked me down the stairs, heading back to my room in the sleeping quarters. "I don't get why you were so surprised in the Castle that I wasn't afraid of Beckett, when you haven't shown me anything to contradict it of yourself," he murmured, enjoyment decorating his tone.
"I'm terrified of Beckett," I said.
"Yet, you told everyone you'd sell him out when he was still your Alpha. And in the Castle, you fought back. And now, you didn't even think twice about whatever it is you would need to do, you would still fight back. That's a show of bravery if you ask me, not fear."
"Can't I be afraid and brave at the same time?" Even though I didn't feel brave, only afraid.
"I suppose you can. You'd be a fool not to be afraid of Beckett anyway, given you don't have any powers."
"Thank you for the reminder," I shot back. It seemed that Aven and Jerr always found a way to remind me of my weakness.
"You are most welcome," he purred. I rolled my eyes at him.
We kept walking down the stairs, and I felt brave enough to ask him a question about tonight's events. "Do you think that the wolf Aven just.. de-hearted.. That he was working with Beckett?"
Jerr laughed at my made up word. "He was. Aven knows it, too. There's no other possible explanation as to why Beckett would be at that specific place on the wall. It could only be that he knew he'd have an opportunity there. And you telling us Beckett always thinks out his moves, only confirmed that."
"Then why didn't Aven say so in his speech?"
"Speech," he mimicked amused. "He didn't say anything, because that would only cause a mass panic. And if Beckett has other spies in here, it would tip them off that we're onto them, reducing the odds of finding more of them."
"Did you find more?"
Jerr nodded. "One, so far. The guard's brother."
"What did you do with him?"
"Nothing yet. We keep a very, very close eye on him. That way, we hope to discover even more traitors. But we need to end this discussion now." He pointed his finger at his ear, and I saw we had reached the first floor.
"Why do you trust me with this information?" I asked. He barely knew me, yet he had still answered all my questions with information other wolves in the pack weren't allowed to know. And I came from the enemy.
He shrugged his shoulders. "I can read your mind, you know. And I see a lot of things in there, but mostly I see your hate towards Beckett. All the shit he's done to you, even if I don't know exactly what he did," he added quickly, preventing my accusations of him digging in my mind. I felt reassured that he had still, somewhat, respected my privacy. "I also saw how he felt about you. You have the most motive in the entire pack of Death Moon of wanting to work against Beckett, not for him. If anything, out of everyone here, I trust you the most."
"But what if that is all part of the ruse?" I teased.
"You think that you, an only recently Ascended wolf, could fool me, the Beta of Death Moon, Wise Moon originating?"
"I might just have done that."
"In that case, I applaud you," he grinned. He put his hands in the pockets of his trousers, and he casually kept walking down the stairs. "Has anyone shown you around, yet?"
"Yes," I said. I could have sworn I saw something like disappointment flicker in his eyes, but it passed so briefly, I wondered if I had even seen anything at all. "I ran into Lotta yesterday, and she showed me around."
"Ah, Lotta. That also explains that tattoo on your arm," he said, pointing his chin at my right arm. I rolled up my sleeve, revealing the entire tattoo. I was still mesmerized by it. "Vince's work?"
I nodded. "Yes, he owed Lotta a favor."
"I lost track of how many favors those two owe each other," he laughed. "It's a beautiful tattoo, Sari."
"Thank you," I beamed. It really was beautiful.
We reached the ground floor, where we headed towards the sleeping hall. He dropped me off at my room, and lingered some more at my door opening while I entered into the small chamber. "Goodnight," he said. "I'll see you at breakfast." And then he turned around to leave, but before he was out of sight, he shouted back, "Take a bath, Sari. You still reek of horse."
"Goodnight," I called back, and then I shut my door with a slight bang. I heard his laughter erupt in the hallway. Bloody Wise Moon, I thought, not sure if he could still hear it. But I thought it to myself, too.
I smelled myself after Jerr's latest insult, and concluded that I, in fact, still reeked of horse and other unpleasant things. I really did need that bath. I grabbed a towel from the closet, along with my sleepwear and headed out to the end of the hall, where the bathing chamber was located. I hadn't found any soap in my room, but I was glad to find enough provision of soaps and shampoos in the common washing room.
I started running the bath in one of the cabinets, noticing it had warm water, hot even, coming straight out of the faucet. I hadn't seen something like this before, but then again, I had lived in poverty without clean water, let alone hot water coming straight out of the faucet.
It took a while to fill up, but once it did, the warm water relaxed all my muscles and the tension eased out of my body. I played with the bubbles the soap had formed, releasing a soft, honey-like smell.
I lingered in the bath until my skin was as wrinkled as it could become, and forced myself out as soon as the risk of falling asleep in this bed of water became too great. I had become so tired, I had to drag myself back to my room, to use those last few hours of the night to gain some sleep.
And as my head hit my pillow, my eyes shut immediately and I drifted off to sleep, thinking of Aven's bloodied hands and that devilish grin that was already haunting me.