Bliss Jackson|Boogie.
TRIGGER WARNING: SUICIDE!
"GIRL I'm not pregnant, stop asking me that shit." Kaycee rolled her eyes, brushing her hair in the mirror. "I don't know where Ashae got that from, but he need to stop saying it."
"You lying to me, Theresa? Cause I promise on everything I love-"
"Bitch ain't nobody lying, I ain't damn pregnant." Kaycee told her. "I would've killed myself already."
"But what's wrong with her being pregnant?" Jasmine spoke making Kaycee eye her. "I mean if she is pregnant."
Bliss stared at the Jasmine blankly. "Don't speak to me."
"I'm just saying, Chase got money, the baby would be well taken care of. My bitch would be damn near rich." Jasmine shrugged. "If I was her I'd get pregnant on purpose."
"First of all," Bliss started making Kaycee sigh.
"Oh lord." Kaycee mumbled.
"Chase ain't got that much damn money." Bliss stated, which was true. Jasmine seen him flashing his money and she thought he had it like that. The boy wasn't rich, he was well off, but the money wasn't something he worked for—it was his parents. "Secondly, Kaycee is eighteen, she don't need no baby she still a baby herself. Just because you willing to lay down with any Tom, Dick, and Harry don't mean she should or will."
"Who willing to lay down with everybody? That's your problem you think you better than everybody-"
"I don't think I'm better than everybody—I think I'm better than you." Bliss said and she didn't mean it, but Jasmine was annoying the hell out of her.
"Just because don't nobody wanna fuck you don't mean judge everybody else who niggas actually want." Jasmine spoke, she sat up on Kaycee's bed, knowing she was stepping in deep shit.
"Y'all stop it." Kaycee said, she looked at Bliss' face and knew she was about to snap. "Boogie, no."
"Girl I will beat the fuck out of you, I promise you should watch what the fuck you say to me." Bliss spoke balling her fists up. Jasmine was the only person she'd ever met who made her this mad.
"You not gon beat shit, sit back."
"Y'all stop!" Kaycee in between the two of them. "Y'all arguing over something stupid, I'm not pregnant why we even still discussing this?"
They sat in silence as Bliss took deep breaths, trying to calm herself down. As Bliss sat in the chair at Kaycee's desk she stared at her friend, she was so different from before. It was so apparent that she'd changed from the way she dressed to her actions. As she watched her continue brushing her hair she tilted her head as a thought popped in her head.
"Resa, I thought you only slept with Chase that one time?" Bliss asked.
"I did at first then he called me and said he was sorry for not answering and he was busy, so we started back talking and we've been having sex since then." she shared.
"Hmm." Bliss mumbled. "After you talked all that shit.
"And shit it was cause the second time around he rocked my world." Kaycee said making herself laugh. "We doing it damn near everyday after school now."
"With a condom I hope." Bliss questioned, raising her eyebrow.
"Most times, sometimes he just pull out."
"Girl Reggie and me used to do the pull out until I got pregnant, then I was like no more." Jasmine spoke up, she was laid back on Kaycee's bed. "That abortion had me scared to even look at a dick."
Bliss fought the urge to turn her face up, not at the fact that Jasmine had an abortion, but at her in general. She did not like her.
"Did it hurt?" Kaycee asked, turning away from the mirror and staring at her friend.
"Girl so bad and it's so scary too. The room is cold as hell, then they make you prop your legs up on this thing, and the after pain is hell." Jasmine shared, staring off.
Jasmine didn't really want the abortion, she wanted her baby, but she knew it was what she had to do. She couldn't be a mother, not only could she not afford it, but she just didn't know how to be.
"Do they put you to sleep?" Kaycee asked biting down on her bottom lip.
"Well it depends, sometimes they'll put you to sleep, sometimes they'll sedate you, sometimes you might not even have to do the whole thing, they'll just give you a pill. They sedated me." Jasmine told her. "They give you medicine for the cramping and send you on your way. I think the feeling you feel after is the worst part, they don't prepare you for that. It's like guilt and regret and all type of emotions all in one, at least for me it was."
Kaycee didn't say anything. None of the girls did, they just sat in silence.
"Well." Kaycee spoke up snapping out of her thoughts. "Boogs it's about to be your birthdayyyyy."
Bliss smiled a little, she would be turning twenty in two weeks, September eighteenth. "I know right."
"What do you want?" Kaycee asked making Bliss shrug. Birthdays were much harder for her now, since the loss of her older brother. "A party?"
"I don't have no friends, it'll be me and you staring at each other." Bliss said shaking her head.
"That's not true, it's plenty of people that would come, you know how many people Jasmine and I be around who be asking about you? "Kay how your fine ass sister?" "Kaycee why you don't never bring Boogie around?" I know hella people who would pull up." Kaycee mocked in a deep voice, mostly the people who asked about Bliss were niggas. Jasmine couldn't lie about niggas wanting Bliss and she could definitely admit that the girl was gorgeous.
"I don't wanna hang around you and a bunch of high schoolers." Bliss said turning her face up, the only company she kept were kids. Kaycee eighteen and Ashae sixteen, Sasha was the only adult and they barely hung because they were both always so busy.
"Girl you crazy as hell if you think I'm hanging with niggas my age." Kaycee chuckled. "I be around people from your class and higher."
"Even still, where would we have it?" Bliss asked and that shut Kaycee right up, she had no clue. "Cause my Grand-mère won't allow it and I know damn well Mama Alicia not letting nobody up in her house."
"Damn Boog.. you right." Kaycee bit down on her lip.
"Well I gotta cousin who stay at Irie's, she would let us use her place." Jasmine spoke up not wanting to, but she did want Bliss to enjoy her twentieth birthday, she felt like she deserved after losing her brother.
"Mm." Bliss mumbled not very sure.
"Ooh Irie's is perfect."
"Yeah, but it can't be all that many people and it'll have to be on a Saturday." Jasmine stated. "That's if you'd like that, Boogie."
Bliss said nothing, staring at the girl not understanding why she was being so nice when Bliss had just threatened to beat her ass not even twenty minutes ago.
"Come on, Boogs. You deserve a party." Kaycee said her hands positioned in a prayer motion. "Pleaseeee."
"Fine, Kaycee." Bliss broke rolling her eyes. "But not that many people and nobody under the age of nineteen, well except you and Jasmine."
"And Ashae." Kaycee added.
"And Ashae."
••••
"You look like a dick." Sasha said to Ashae as he made a tik tok.
"Ya mama." Ashae responded.
"These new age kids all they wanna do is tik tok and all that nonsense." Bliss said shaking her head making them both look at her.
"Girl shut the fuck up." Sasha said laughing. "How old are you?"
"Her lame ass, talking about new age kids, girl fuck you." Ashae spoke laughing too. "I can't stand somebody who think they smart, bro just sit back."
"Right her smart ass, go to hell." Sasha added on. "You just made me mad."
"I'm for real." Bliss said looking back down at her book.
"You gotta stick up your ass bad, Bliss. You need some dick, that'll clear it right on up." Sasha stated nodding her head. "I'm telling you."
"I almost just knocked you the fuck out." Ashae said to Sasha, tilting his head. "Don't be telling me sister that, she fine just the way she is."
"Boy shut your bald headed ass up, you be fucking." Sasha watched him smirk and gagged. "Nasty bastard, you nasty."
"Nigga you nasty, the hell." Ashae plopped down beside Bliss on her bed.
The trio were at Janice's house, waiting for the good cookout food and Ivorian classics to be finished. Labor day was in full effect and everybody had come over to eat, like always—Bliss, Ashae, and Sasha secluded themselves away from the family. This year they were missing Jakai, Ashae and Bliss' older brother, but the vibes were still there; not the same, but still there.
"I still can't believe you having sex, I rebuke thee devil." Bliss said making a cross over Ashae chest making Sasha fall out laughing. "That is crazy, I was literally changing your diapers."
"Girl." Ashae eyed Bliss. "You swear you was changing somebody diapers."
"You didn't stop pissing on yourself until you was fourteen so that very well may be the truth." Sasha spoke as she stuffed a towel under the door making Bliss chuckle.
"I almost just called you something." Ashae said cutting his eyes.
"Aye what we used to call him?" Bliss asked laughing harder.
"Squirty Mcgee." Bliss and Sasha said at the same time cracking up laughing making Ashae smack his teeth.
"Y'all some dicksuckers, get my dick out y'all mouth." he mumbled.
"Aw is the wittle baby mad." Bliss poked her lip out grabbing for his cheeks as Sasha sparked the wood, took a puff and passed it to Ashae, then sparked another.
"You think Kaycee will let me fuck?" Ashae asked making Bliss turn her face completely up.
"First of all ew she's like your sister."
"Her ass ain't no sister of mine, I got one of them and she sitting right in front of me." Ashae spoke taking a puff of the wood and passing it to Bliss.
"Secondly no you sixteen and she eighteen."
"So, I turn seventeen in two months and we in the same grade." The both of them were graduating seniors.
"Don't nobody want your big headed, bug eyed ass." Sasha spoke up. "I thought you told me Kaycee was a whore."
"Okay and?" Ashae moved his hands in a confused way.
"Kaycee is not a whore." Bliss defended her friend. "Ashae shut the fuck up saying shit, you gon piss me off."
"I'm sorry to inform you, but your friends a slut." Ashae said shrugging. "I mean it ain't nothing wrong with that, be who you are. I still wanna fuck."
"How you figure that?" Bliss asked squinting her eyes, she took a puff of the wood and inhaled the smoke.
"She fucking hella niggas, but I ain't mad at it, I just want her to add me to the list." Ashae shrugged, the way he seen was if that's what she, or any other girl, wanted to do so what. He did it and got a pat in the ass, but when she did it it was frowned upon.
"Mm." Bliss mumbled. "You want her that's your business, figure it out."
"Y'all remember when Jakai broke the door?" Sasha asked out of nowhere making all of them smile and break out in laughter.
"Man my Nana was so mad." Ashae laughed, he could see it in his head.
Jakai was high as hell trying to balance himself on the doorknob, but it broke off and he tried to catch himself by grabbing the top of the door, but it broke going to the floor along with him.
"I never even heard her curse but a few times, she was snapping on Kai ass." Sasha said laughing more. "He was so high and dumb looking."
They continued to pass the wood in silence, all of them wore a smile, going through the memories they shared with their beloved Jakai.
Jakai Jackson was twenty-three at the time of his untimely death, suicide was the cause. From the outside looking in—nobody knew that he was even struggling. He was himself, he smiled and lit up every room he walked in, he still danced with his mother everytime As by Stevie Wonder played throughout their house, he still bought his sister flowers every Sunday—just because, he still attended every baseball game of his baby brothers. His family was left clueless as to why he would've did this, he left no note behind, just pain and a sense of emptiness in his loved ones heart.
It hurt Bliss deeply to find her brother hanging from the window of their two story home on a Wednesday afternoon. To pull his body from over the ledge and on top of her with tears streaming down her face. To sing at his funeral in all black. To bury her very best friend in the entire world and watch his body be lowered into the ground, to never be seen again. It hurt her to the core. Deep down she knew there was no escaping the emptiness she felt, she was afraid the feeling would never go away, she had a constant aching in her chest. It was physical, she felt pain there, she'd felt it since the day she found her brother.
She couldn't sleep, nightmares kept her up, she couldn't go a day without seeing her dead brothers face in her hands, her smacking his face to wake him up. It was like she was trapped in a never ending horror film, but she was the main character.
But sometimes, only sometimes, if she closed her eyes tight she could hear her brothers laugh. She could feel his presence. She could still smell the very first bouquet of roses and sunflowers he'd bought her when she was thirteen.
If she closed her eyes tight enough, she could hear him forgiving her for not realizing he was in trouble. That he needed help.
heyyyyy y'all. i went ghost for two days sorry, i had a lil bit of writers block.
i got some shit up my sleeve for this book lmaoooooooooooo, i have the ending mapped out already. lmao i wanna write a wedding but also i wanna write a funeral.
who knows
soooo how we feel about Kaycee?
Jasmine?
lmao y'all don't be so quick to hate Jasmine idkkkkk i'm just suggesting it
i realize that i call y'all a lot of different pet names and i'm just like that i truly apologize if it makes y'all uncomfy. i'm not saying ima stop, but i'll try.
so i finished reading The Coldest Winter Ever by Sister Souljah and YALL. YALL. YALLLLLLL.
that book is fucking AMAZING!!! i 1000/10 recommend! it's so well written yall, but it's still real and understandable.
i'm gonna read the second part and let y'all know. i'm also reading I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings, so we'll see how that is too.
y'all follow me on ig? if not follow me @taiyloramane_ i'm taking a fat ass break on there it's been like damn near 3 months but i'll follow back lmao.
who knows when i'll come back on there chile
ima also put out there if sewercide is a bit too heavy for you chile it will be discussed in this book, lort. sorry not sorry.
OMG y'all why i was scrolling on tik tok minding my lil merry business and guess wtf i see??! y'all guessing?
bitch it was my books on one of the wattpad urban book suggestion videos? i said aw shit i made it big LMAO. i was like aw stop cause i'll cry right now.
S9: what's your fav song right now?
S10: what's your summer plans?