Chaeyoung.
I have never felt more self conscious in my entire life. I'm not even used to being photographed specially not this way. Dozens of photographers line up and what felt like hundreds of flashes blinded my eyes.
I did not expect any of this. Red Carpet. Front Row seat in front of the runway. Within reach of famous singers and actresses. And Most importantly, being able to witness firsthand in person those gorgeous designs by a famous designer.
One thing bothers me so much is, Mina is here. The person I'm trying to forget just popped up out of nowhere. I tried my best not to look at her. But unconsciously my eyes always finds her. At first she was looking at me too which made me more self conscious. She have this weird look in her eyes that's looked like she's angry or disappointed. Was it because I'm with Somi?
When she's not looking, I find myself looking at her. Her face changed suddenly, she now looks pale. I was staring at her as she was blinking too slow as if she's nauseous. Jihyo also noticed even Nayeon who's now holding her by the shoulders.
I'm now getting worried. All my focus was on her. She don't look good like she's about to faint. I saw her a bit swaying so I stood. Good thing Jihyo and Nayeon was quick to act. They led her towards the back.
As soon as I can't see them anymore, I came back to reality. I began noticing people were staring at me. I was the only one standing while the models are still walking at the runway.
I felt Somi pulled my arm forcing me to sit.
Somi: What are you doing?
I ignored her, still looking at where they exited. A minute later Jihyo and Nayeon unnie came back quickly get my phone texting Jihyo.
Me. 10.48 am
Jihyo unnie, what happened to her.
I saw Jihyo checked her phone and glanced at me before replying.
Jihyo. 10.48 am
It's good to know you're worried. She wasn't feeling good, our manager is now taking care of her.
Me. 10.48 am
I'm always worried about her. Are they heading to the dorm?
Jihyo. 10.48 am
Let me ask Manager unnie.
I saw her talking to someone at her phone. Her expression changed now looking worried. She then looked at Nayeon and the others gesturing their phone. One by one their expressions changed into worrying. Oh that ain't good.
Me. 10.51 am
What's happening unnie?
Jihyo. 10.51 am
They brought Mina to the hospital, she fainted as soon as she got to the car.
Me. 10.51 am
How is she now?
Jihyo. 10.51 am
Still unconscious. They'll update us once they're at the hospital.
Me. 10.51 am
Can you update me too unnie?
Jihyo looked at me and nodded. She must have seen how worried I look. The show went on and my mind wasn't in it anymore. Was it my fault? I won't forgive myself if something serious happened to her.
Just before the show ended, I received a message from Jihyo.
Jihyo. 11.32 am
After this Sana and me will change at the dorm then head to the hospital. They said she's still unconscious.
Me. 11.32 am
May I come?
Jihyo. 11.32 am
I'm not sure if that's a good idea.
Me. 11.32 am
Please, I just want to know she's okay.
Jihyo looked at me for a few seconds then at her phone.
Jihyo. 11.32 am
You shouldn't be seen. Change into something more covered.
I was confused why I need to hide, but I did not ask why.
Me. 11.33 am
I will. Thanks unnie.
Jihyo. 11.33 am
We'll keep you posted.
I looked at Jihyo and smiled she smiled back at me. Then I saw Sana looking at me then looked away. She looks so serious yet there's something about her expression that I can't read.
After the show I dropped Somi at her house and apologized for canceling our lunch. She was asking why, I just said there's somewhere I have to be. I went home to changed my outfit. I wore a plain white tshirt, black pants, black jacket a cap, glasses and mask.
Jihyo messaged me again, saying they're on their way to the hospital. She also said Mina's still unconscious. She gave me the name and address of the hospital, even her room number. What's confusing is she also said don't let anyone notice me when I go in the room.
I hurriedly drove towards the hospital. When I reached it I went as discreetly as I can towards her room. I knocked first. Jihyo opened it and let me in.
I immediately saw her lying at the hospital bed, still unconscious.
Sana: Why are you here?
I was shocked for Sana was angrily blocked my way towards Mina.
Jihyo: I let her come. Sana, look how worried she is.
Sana: I don't care! She's the reason why Mina's here in the first place!
She was right. It's my fault.
Sana: You're my friend, But now I'm not, until I know she's safe. I can't let her go back to how she was before.
I understand her cause I don't want that to happen again either.
Me: I know, that's why I'm so worried for her. I care for her Sana, you know that.
Sana was just looking at me, then a few seconds later she went to sit at the sofa with her arms crossed.
Sana: As soon as she wakes up, I want you out.
She said it so firmly that it scares me. Serious Sana is scary.
I just nodded. I then went beside her bed. Sat on the chair and held her hand. She's so pretty whatever she does even while sleeping.
I then bend my head and leaned it on her hand. I prayed, prayed that she'll be okay and soon will wake up. If being near her triggers her anxiety then I'll stay away from her. Just make her wake up soon.
My tears started flowing for I don't know how long. This'll be the last time I'll held her hand, see her pretty face and be this close to her. I can't help to think that maybe in this lifetime we're not meant to be. If possible, on the next lifetime, I'd get to meet you once more.
I never left her side unless I need to go to the bathroom. Sana stayed quiet and didn't talk to me the whole time. Jihyo sat by the bed talked in almost a whisper.
Jihyo: I hope you understand how she felt. Mina and Momo was her sisters long before when we were trainees that's before our group were formed. She and Momo got affected the most when Mina had her first attack. We all were worried we'd lose her forever.
I nodded at her. It must've been very difficult having no family around. I stood and went to Sana and hugged her. Sana was shocked yet hugged me back and cried. We both cried.
Sana: Sorry Chaeyoung. I just... I just can't lose her. I'm so worried.
Me: I understand, I am worried too.
I looked at her and wiped some of her tears. This wasn't the usual Sana.
Me: You know I love her right?
Sana nodded.
Me: Whatever's happening and even if she won't chose me, I will stay away. But I will always love her.
Sana was still crying so I hugged her again. Jihyo went to us and hugged us both.
The door opened revealing a stunned PDnim. His face went grim after looking at us and then at Mina.
PDnim: No...
Sana and I looked at each other confused. While Jihyo hurriedly went to him.
Jihyo: No, PDnim. She's fine. We weren't crying because she's dead.
PDnim felt so relieved that he sat right away.
PDnim: You girls made me so worried I almost cried.
Jihyo: Sorry PDnim. We were just so worried for her. She hasn't woke up yet.
PDnim noticed me then looked at Jihyo.
Jihyo: I... She was at the event she got so worried too so I let her come.
PDnim: You know they can't be seen together and If she caused her attack, I don't think she should be here when she wakes up.
They all looked at me. This was the first time PDnim wasn't friendly towards me, yet i understand why. Does this means he knows about us?
Me: I should be going.
Before reaching the door PDnim stood and said.
PDnim: Ms. Son, I have nothing against you and I'm not saying you should go now. I'm just stating what's best for her.
Me: I know sir.
PDnim: In fact I brought you three dinner.
He included me?
PDnim: Yes I said three, one is for you. Please have your dinner here.
Jihyo: Thank you, PDnim.
I stayed and we ate while PDnim went to talk to the doctor. We were quiet while eating. My thoughts were wandering. So, PDnim seemed to know something. Is it because of him that's why Mina can't be with me?
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Author's note:
I can't imagine an angry Sana. Though I remember the time she was so down because of an issue. She looked so serious while performing and looked like she cried all the time. That was heartbreaking.
Guys sorry for the late update, I've been busy lately. Hope you read it until the end!
Take care and Stay safe guys! 🤘😘