10 Years Ago
Me and Lisa are way beyond fascinated. The butterflies that are flying all around us take our breaths away. Our mothers decided to take us out on the weekend and we all came to this butterfly park.
Butterflies are so pretty, their wings are like the most delicate thing on this earth but created with so much love and beauty. Mother told me that even though butterflies are so beautiful, they aren't able to see their wings meaning they don't know how beautiful they really are.
And then she told me if I ever felt like I was ugly, I should think that I'm a butterfly - a beautiful work of art that can't see my own beauty myself but others around me can. I told that to Rosie as well when she wished she was pretty like the rest of us, and mother's words were true - I wish rosie could see how beautiful she really is.
" Y/n/n, I got you juice!" Jisoo came squealing from behind passing me the mango juice box. I thanked her and gave her a hug for it before we all sat on the grass field and lay down, staring up at the hundreds of beautiful butterflies.
" What would you name a butterfly if you had one?" Rosé asked us all, we all thought about it for a second - looking at the butterflies to gain some inspiration.
" I'd name it beauty, cause it's beautiful" Lisa replied, as much as I liked the name - it was too simple. Something that holds this much beauty needs a special name.
" I would probably name it buzz" Jennie replied, giggling to herself at her own funny name. My brain still couldn't think of what I'd name my butterfly but I know I'll come up with a name eventually.
" If I had one, I'd never let it leave." Jisoo replied making all of us look at her curiously.
" Why is that, don't you want the butterfly to fly away and have it's freedom?" I asked, that's what I would do at least, why would she want them locked up like that.
" The beauty should only be seen by me, what's the point otherwise when there are other admiring it, I want to keep it all to myself...I just don't know how I'd do that." Jisoo replied, making us all nod in understanding. I thought about how she said she didn't know how she'd keep it to herself and realised that there wouldn't be a way to do that - since butterflies are small and with their wings they can fly.
" I'd tie it's wings up jichoo, make it mine to see forever." Rosé said all of a sudden. I looked at her in shock, not believing what she just said but she seemed to think it was normal. None of the others were as shocked as I was at what rosé had just said and I thought maybe I was the odd one out and this was a normal thing, it's four of them and one of me after all.
" That's perfect rosie, I would definitely do that if I owned a pet butterfly" Jisoo replied agreeing.
They were giving me the chills all of a sudden so i told them I'm going to find our mothers and tell them where we are, Jennie insisted on coming with me in case I would get lost but I told her I'll just ask someone around if I do lose my way.
I just needed to get these weird chills away from my body, their words scared me a little but it's probably just me being me, if they think it's normal and not a big deal - then it probably isn't.
Eventually, I found my mother talking with the other mums and gave her a big hug as soon as I saw her, her sweet scent calming me down.
" ready to go home sweetie?" She asked me, I nodded quickly and she told the other's mums about how we could go get Lunch together before we all went home.
I just want to sleep now, I'm feeling more tired than usual.
6 Years Ago
" Can you stop ignoring me?" I begged Lisa as I leaned onto the locker beside her. All four of them have been mad at me since the night we went to party, assuming it is because they were worried about me not telling them before going away from them.
I've been texting them nonstop, apologising to them but they don't budge. One thing all four of them have in common is they don't let their grudges go. They all are extremely stubborn and once they set their mind to do something, they make sure they get it done.
I don't even know what more they want from me. It's not like I can go back in time and change my own actions, you can't change the past.
Lisa slams her locker door harshly before walking away from me. I sigh once more, Lisa has always been the easiest to apologise to so it was really shocking to see her staying mad at me for more than two days.
I've been way too stressed cause of the four girls and I've decided that it's enough. If they want to stay mad at me, then they can. I've done everything possible to apologise and make it up to them.
I pull my phone out of my pocket and text Fredrick, once again. We promised to meet up again because we had a lot of fun at the party, but ever since then - he hasn't been responding to my messages or calls. It seems like the whole world is against me. I hated how I didn't have any other friends, it was always just Jennie, Jisoo, Lisa and Rosé.
I remember when I tried making a new friend in grade one, her name was Lia - well that's her nickname, I'm pretty sure her actual name was Aaliyah. We become so close and she was a harry potter fan too, but after a few days she started to ignore me and when I kept following her and told her to tell me what I did wrong, all she said was;
" Leave me alone y/n, I have other friends and you do too."
I remember how her words broke my heart and I went home crying to mama. And then I remember mama had to make me my favourite meal since I had never experienced this sort of rejection and heartbreak before.
It took a few days but with the help of my actual friends who I knew would never leave me, I got over Lia and decided maybe it was for the best.
I went ahead to my own class, knowing I was already a minute late - but it's not like I've ever been in trouble for it, I'm known as Jennie's best friend and no teacher in the right mind would mess with the principles beloved daughter.
I go up the stairs and walk along the hallways before entering my classroom. The teacher stops talking and glances at me so do the other students since the teacher never noticed my presence whenever I walked into the room on other days.
" Y/n, you are late." Miss Johnson announces. I was a little surprised - no teacher had ever told me that even when I walked into classes late.
" Yeah, sorry" I mumble before making my way to my seat, throwing my bag on the floor before sitting on my chair - taking my book out.
" The conversation hasn't ended yet, y/n. Go stand outside the class for 15 minutes to ensure you won't be late again next time." She says, taking my a back. I look at her with wide eyes and question her with my glance, not knowing if she's joking or not.
" You heard me loud and clear y/n, out." She adds. I glance around the classroom and spot Jennie, her face mad and emotionless at the same time.
Well, shit.
She did this.
" You know what? Fine, have it your way" I announce angrily before getting my bag and slinging it on one of my shoulders before making my way out the room. I was mad at Jennie and she knew it, they were taking this way too far for something that shouldn't become a big deal.
There is no way I'm going to be punished for this so instead, I make my way to the girls bathroom - I'm just going to stay in there until someone realises i'm not outside.
Once I do enter the doors to the toilet, smoke enters my system and I cough slightly. I continue walking to see a girl sitting on the bathroom floor, smoking a blunt.
Sweet.
" You didn't see anything" She mumbles, not having a single care in the world of someone catching her. I chuckled at her bravery before dropping my bag on the floor and sitting down next to her.
" Mind if I join?" I ask, she nods and so I sit down next to her, leaning back onto the wall.
She offers me her blunt and i take it, inhaling it before puffing the smoke out - passing it back to her as I enjoyed the calming effect of the blunt.
" Shitty day?" She asks, taking a puff of the blunt herself before passing it back to me.
" More like shitty 3 days" I chuckle, she chuckles along with me.
We both just sit there in the calming silent, taking turns to smoke the blunt. I liked this girl, she was calm and chill.
It's time i made new friends, I can't always rely on the only 4 I have.
Present
They left me once again, in the dark. Once again I was crying on the bed where I laid. My left hand cuffed to the bedpost to ensure I won't be running away. I've never begged for something so much as I am right now.
I'm starving and want to devour a whole feast, my throat is begging to be fed more water and my eyes are pleading to stop shedding tears.
But in all ways, I'm going against my body. I'm not listening to it like no one is listening to me. It's been hours since they left me here in the darkness to consume myself in, all they said before leaving was that they'd be back in the morning and not to try anything stupid, reminding me that there were cameras all around the room.
We all promised that once we all turned adults, we'd get an apartment together and would live together. I remember always dreaming for that day to come but never did I realise that my dream would be cuffed to a bed, begging for freedom while living with my best friends.
Ex best friends.
I feel so betrayed. I remember how it felt like being stabbed in the back multiple times - not being allowed to breathe when I first felt that feeling of betrayal.
You know what the funny thing is? People expect that the betrayal would come from your worst enemies, but they never realise that it's actually the people you love that would cause you pain and make you feel betrayed.
I'm crying because I want to be let free, but I know the real reason a part of me is crying for. A part that I refuse to accept.
The part that I was the one that did this to myself. That I was too blind to see who they really were even after the countless hints I had seen from my own eyes but never believed it - I was always too blind to see the truth.
This was all my fault.
My crying stops when I hear the door rattle. I quickly slap my right hand over my mouth, scared that maybe my crying woke them up and they would be mad. My tears stop leaving my eyes and my eyes thank my body for doing so but the only thing I can focus on is trying to get up to squint my eyes in order to see in the darkness if it was really the door handle rattling.
I couldn't see anything but as soon as the door opened slowly, my eyes widened.
It wasn't Jennie.
It wasn't Lisa either.
My eyes were stuck to the two people in-front of me, both of them with guns in their hands. Even with the black mask and bodysuit they wore, I knew who they were.
One started coming inside the room and pointing the gun at me, signalling me to be quiet when her index finger came up to her lips.
This is where I die. I'll be shot in the head and be woken from this nightmare.
This is what my fate has always been.
My right hand doesn't leave my mouth and even though I want to scream, the shiny metallic gun that points at me prevents my mouth from even so letting a whimper slip. She comes closer and the gun is pointed at my forehead.
She takes this lazer out from her bag and brings the powerful red line to the cuff chains, cutting it through and freeing my from the bedpost with having a broken cuff attached to my right wrist.
" Be quiet and follow." She orders demandingly while whispering.
I'm so scared and she knows I am.
I'm a simple toy being thrown back and forth with different people. I hated this. She grabbed my wrist and guided me back to my standing position.
She didn't even let me say a word before one of her hands was over my mouth and the other had it's gun pointing at the side of my head with her behind me.
" Walk." She whispered lowly in my ears. I started walking with her following behind me, both her hands still in place.
I followed the other figure standing in the front and walked down the stairs, still following her. I felt like I hadn't taken a breath since the gun was pointed towards me and even though I wanted to badly breath, my fear didn't allow so.
The house was mostly dark and it was pindrop silent. It was the dead of night, I could tell but still it seemed like in every corner there was a shadow watching my every move - the monster in the dark.
When we were finally down the stairs, the figure in-front of me walked out the main door - it was left opened assuming that's how they broke in. A car awaited only a few feet away, and I stopped in my steps once we were outside.
Taking in the look of the outside world that I hadn't seen for what felt like years. I unconsciously brought my hand to where her hand covered my mouth and pulled at it, wanting to breathe in fresh oxygen but all I heard was a low growl from behind.
" You'll get this later. In the car, now!" She whisper yelled, making me bring my hands back to my sides.
I knew what she was saying wasn't true, it's just false hope that they all provided me with.
I get in the car with her sitting beside me, closing the door of the black car while the other figure got in the driver's seat and started to drive.
I looked beside her to see her holding her hands out, making me confused as I sat there. The fear hadn't left my body but just the plain view of trees outside made my fear calm down a bit.
" Give me your hands." She demanded with a soft tone.
Too scared to say no, I bring my hands in-front of her and she uses a rope to tie my wrists together in-front of me, tightly. I winced a little but it was nothing I couldn't handle.
" Jisoo, when do you think they'll realise she's gone?" Rosé asked, her eyes still on the road.
" Very soon. But she's ours now." Jisoo replied, her voice laced with so much danger.
-
A/N: If you haven't noticed already, this book consists of three timelines - every part of the book will make sense later, I promise.
( Update, I made a minor mistake saying it was Lisa in the end, just published it again.)