Chapter 46: It's How Relationships Work
"You four are the cutest couples I've seen in a long time," the waiter gushed, passing out the plates to the table. "How long have you been together?"
The four teens glanced at each other, embarrassed and a little distressed.
"Ummm, none of us are together," Alan said. Tina popped a breadstick in her mouth, looking out the window at the rainy Seattle street, channeling her inner Chris and ignoring the whole situation.
"Oh? No? Sorry!" The older man covered his face for a second with his hands. "Excuse me." And scuttled back to the kitchen, mortified. Knowing he'd just kissed his tip goodbye.
Jack and Ben exchanged shrugs, and Alan started eating. "Well, that was weird."
The four of them were out in Seattle for the evening. Just the four of them. All because of the career fair event sponsored by the Seattle Public Library.
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Alan: I'll drive. I bet we can all squeeze, three in the front, three in the back.
Tina: We can meet the doofus duo for dinner first!
Sean: Sorry.
Sam: Can't
Sean: We have a commitment vlogging with another channel that night.
Sam: Maybe we could...
Sean: No, we can't, Sam.
Sam: Sorry Tina. I promise to take you out another time.
Tina: I didn't want to have dinner with you anyway. Asshole.
Sam: Tina, please, I'm sorry!
Alan: Anywaaaay, the rest of us will have fun! There's supposed to be some great booths! Some hospitals and Microsoft and...
Chris: I'm not going to any bullshit career fair. It's going to suck.
Ben: No? Oh. Ummmmm.
Chris: You want to go to that?
Ben: Well, it's required.
Chris: Oh
Brian: I'm not going either, Chris! Misty says I don't have to because I'm bat shit crazy and Seattle at night in a public place with tons of strangers is a recipe for disaster. So you and I can stay home together!
Ben: Oh.
Chris: Ummm...
Brian: What? You don't want to hang out with me?
Chris: What about Jack?
Jack: I have to go. I promised Faye and Mark that I'd keep my grades up. I don't want to be a total loser.
Ben: Don't say that.
Brian: You're not a loser! You're a sexy beast!
Jack: Thanks Brian, but I want to graduate high school. And get a job. I can't get paid to be a sexy beast.
Brian: Well, you could if you were a porn star. But I don't want you to have sex with other people. You're MY tarantula.
Jack: Yeah, so porn stars out. Too bad cause it pays a lot, I think.
Sean: Is there a career fair booth for porn stars, Alan?
Alan: No.
Tina: So then I guess it's Ben and Jack, me and Alan. We can still have dinner out first. Even if it's just us.
Brian: Great! Me and Chris can hang out while you guys go out. We can make dinner together Chris! Like we used to.
Ben: Great.
Jack: What?
Chris: Ok, Brian, we can hang out. Should be fun.
Brian: Yayy!!
Sam: Tina, why don't we try and meet up afterwards. You can spend the night.
Sean: Yeah, Alan, just come to the house afterwards.
Tina: No thanks.
Alan: It's a school night. My dad says couples need to do their own things sometimes. It's how good relationships work. So...I guess we'll talk to you guys soon.
Sam: Love you Tina. I miss you. I'll think about you tonight. When I'm in bed. When my hands are..
Tina: Gross.
===
As they entered the library, they naturally broke up into pairs, Tina and Alan and Ben and Jack. The two best friends had a list of booths they wanted to approach, questions prepared and even resumes to pass out. Jack and Ben just wandered aimlessly.
"Do you know what you want to be when you grow up?" Jack asked, somewhat sarcastically, feeling really claustrophobic despite the wall to wall windows. This place was a hive of steel girders and glass and upscale furniture. "Where are the fucking books? Isn't this place a library?"
Ben shrugged. Unhappy and uncomfortable. "I have no idea. I don't want to play football. I don't want to be a fisherman. That's about the limit of my thoughts on the future. I guess I'll go to college. I don't even know."
The blonde boy had been so focused on coming out his senior year and getting together with Chris, that plans for what happened next completely fell by the wayside. His eyes skipped across all of the booths, staffed by men and women in business suits, toothpaste smiles on their faces, handing out brochures to confused kids.
"Well, that makes two of us. But I have to get a good job to take care of Brian. I don't know what he wants to do after high school, but between the two of us, we need to make money if we ever want to move out. It's going to be weird living with Faye and Mark after Brian and I are married."
"Wait," Ben stopped in place. Tons of people milled around him, kids like them from all over the area, a bunch of kids he recognized from school, checking out the library and schmoozing it up with potential employers. "That's not a joke? You guys are like...engaged?"
Jack smiled and nodded. "Yeah. We're going to get married the week after we graduate."
"Aren't you guys....a little young to get married?' Ben was confused. He couldn't get around the idea of being married at eighteen.
"Ben, Brian and I have been together for a long time. I'm going to spend the rest of my life with him. I love him." Jack said seriously, wondering why he felt it was really important for Ben to understand.
"You've never dated anyone but Brian. Even Brian dated Chris. How can you be sure he's the one?" Ben couldn't help asking. "It's healthy to play the field, right? To date a bunch of people when you're young? I'm not saying you SHOULD date someone else, I'm just, it seems... I don't know. Don't listen to me. I'm just a baby gay. What do I know? Maybe you should talk to Sean."
"That asshole? No thanks. He's a total dick. Alan's way too good for that shithead." Jack took Ben's hand, and started to pull him through the crowd. "Come on, let's see if we can find a job."
===
"So, did you find something where you'll make more than a porn star?" Tina sneered, sitting down on the floor next to Jack, in the back of the library, far away from all the hoopla. The teen found maybe the only closed in corner in a building famous for it's open floor plan.
"Not really," Jack bit his lip, breathing out harshly. "I don't know, Tina. I got to find something. It's not that long until June."
"Hmmmm," Tina sat criss cross, her lap full of folders and business cards. "Where's Ben?"
Jack smiled. "Trying to get away from some guy from the Seahawks. Who knows him and is trying to convince him to go to the University of Washington to play football."
Tina rolled her eyes. "Good luck with that." Ben's loathing of football was legendary in their group. No one, no one knew why he kept playing. He said it was to help out his team, but he couldn't be THAT nice.
"I don't know anything about sports, but he looks good out on the field," Jack commented, playing with the rip in his jeans.
Tina gave him a look.
"What?" he said.
"You know, you and Ben are getting pretty chummy lately." She said innocently.
"Yeah, he's a nice guy. I really like hanging out with him. I never though I'd say this about a football player, but he's a sweetheart," Jack said, still looking down.
"Mmmm hmmm, he sure is," Tina agreed. Jack finally caught onto what she was insinuating.
"Yeah, Ben's hot. I totally want to fuck him. I'm going to leave Brian and see if Ben will get with me. I knew it the moment I met him, that he was the one for me. I never knew what sexy was until I saw him. I'm going to nail his fucking beautiful ass like there's no tomorrow." He deadpanned. Silver eyes locked on hers.
She stared at him for a long moment, neither of them saying anything. Her green eyes boring into him.
"You don't have to be a jackass about it," Then smirked at the inadvertent pun she made.
"You don't have to insinuate something about my friend and I. I like Ben. He's nice. He's calm. He's warm and caring. He's isn't a dick. I'm sure he has a dick that would rock my world, for real. I bet he's a freaking amazing fuck, sweet and sexy, soft and hard in all the right places. He smells like good sex. And if I'd never met Brian, sure, I'd try and get with him. Totally." He smiled, thinking of his boy. "But, I did meet Brian. And he's my soulmate. He's the love of my freaking life. I would take him before anyone on this planet. He's everything I will ever want or need. I have to get my shit together, because I'm going to marry him and take care of him and start a family with him, if that's really what he wants. I will never, never get with anyone else. Because I love your brother, Tina. I'll always love him."
Tina smiled. And sighed. Brian was so freaking lucky.
"Gross," was all she said, standing up to go find Alan.
===
"Ben, what's going on with you and Chris?" Alan asked, as they stood in line to get their assignment stamped by the school representative.
"What do you mean? We're together." Ben said, quietly. Hoping it was ok with Chris for him to talk to his twin about their relationship. He'd never said they couldn't. And it seemed pretty obvious to Ben.
"But is it...still fake? Is it just to help Brian so he doesn't freak out?"
"No. We're together." Ben decided to leave it at that.
Alan sighed, and put his hand on Ben's arm. "But Ben, don't...don't get too attached, ok? I know, I guessed that you had a crush on Chris, but, you don't really know him very well. He's a total asshole." They got to the front of the line, and passed their papers over, got them stamped and started to walk away, pushing their way through the crowd.
The library was steadily emptying. People at booths were packing up, lights were being turned off. The last few kids were gathering by the front doors, escaping into the city night.
Ben held onto his temper. Because when Alan ran Chris down, all he could think of was the years of Chris being ignored in favor of his beautiful, smart, kind, gold star twin. He'd seen it, growing up. Everyone, every one, favored Alan. Cause yeah, Chris was weird. And silent. And cold. And kind of a jerk. But he was also honest and brave and brilliant and caring, in his own way. People just had to dig a little below the surface to find the gold. It was there, waiting. Only no one had bothered to look.
"And Ben, I know he's been close with you lately. It's, well, I know you guys have...had sex. But sex doesn't mean love, Ben. It doesn't. I know that all too well. Just because he has sex with you, doesn't mean he even likes you. I know my brother. The only time I ever saw him in love was with Brian. I'm so sorry to tell you. But there's no way he really cares about you. He's still in love with Brian. He loves him. Brian might be the only person he'll ever truly love."
Ben stopped and looked levelly at Alan. At Chris' brother. Who gazed up at him sincerely. Worried and anxious for the quarterback.
"Ok, Alan. I hear you. But...respectfully, you don't know what you're talking about. Chris and I care about each other. He's over Brian. He's with me." Ben tried to put confidence behind his words, but felt his inner stability start to crumble.
"But..." Alan said quietly. "If he cares about you, why is he with Brian tonight? What do you think they're doing together? And even if they're not crossing any lines, don't you think they both want to? Because I do, Ben. They were in love. They were together. They were like the perfect couple. Before Jack came here. You saw it. Those feelings just don't disappear, Ben. So, just, you know, enjoy yourself, like, have fun, but don't give my brother your heart. Because he already gave his to someone else."
===
It was a very long, very silent trip to the dock. Ben stood on the front of the ferry. Alone, thinking. Wiping away tears.
Until Jack came up behind him and put his hand on his back.
"Everything ok?" he asked, trying not to pull Ben a little farther back away from the edge. More than a little nervous to see the black water in front of them.
"Sure. I'm cool." His voice barely trembled, but Jack turned to him, panicking a little.
"Oh my god, are you crying? What's wrong Ben?" Wiping tears off the freckled face.
"Nothing, just you know, stressed about the future."
"Man, you and me both. But it'll work out Ben. I know it will. We got to just keep moving forward, keep our heads above the water."
Jack wasn't sure about how to reassure Ben. When Brian was freaked out, he just needed a kiss to feel better.
So Jack leaned over and kissed Ben on the cheek. Just a quick brush of his lips. And hugged him. "It's going to get better, Ben. I know it will."
===
Alan unlocked the door and walked into his house, Ben and Jack trailing behind him. It was just after midnight and the living room and kitchen were dark. Furniture just black hulking shapes, unseeable in the void.
The small boy clicked on the lamp. Illuminating the couch. Where Chris lay on his back, Brian on top of him, head on his shoulder, arms around each other, asleep.
Ben breathed in and out. Alan glanced at him, and shrugged as if to say, see? What did I tell you?
Jack just walked up to them and tapped Brian on the shoulder. And was rewarded when his fiancé blinked his beautiful green eyes. And smiled sweetly.
"Hi Tarantula. Did you have fun? Do you have a job? Are we rich yet?" He let Jack pull him to a standing position, but leaned heavily onto his boyfriend, still half asleep. "Mmmmmm, you smell good. I missed you. I love you. Do you love me?" He nuzzled under Jack's chin like a cat.
"Of course, honey. Let's go home," And walked out the door with a quiet goodnight to Ben.
Alan looked at Ben, who was staring at Chris. Squeezed his arm and walked up to his own room.
Ben sat down on the floor by the couch. Studying Chris. His long arms covered with a light red fuzz. His thick auburn hair, falling over one eye. His long legs. Tried to erase the picture of those arms and legs wrapped around Brian. He ran one finger lightly over the veins criss crossing on Chris' wrist, and sat up on his knees, laying his head gently on Chris' stomach. And breathed in deep, wondering if the rosemary scent was Chris or Brian.
He sighed when he felt Chris hand raise and tangle in his blonde hair. His fingers on his scalp. Ben bit his lip, holding in his tears. Refusing to cry again. Refusing. Alan didn't know what he was talking about. They were in love. Chris said he loved him.
"Have fun, bunny?"
"Sure." Ben said.
"Ben..."
"No. It sucked."
"See, I'm always right."
===
This was their first time having sex in Chris' room. Ben really didn't want to be there. Didn't want to lay in the bed where Brian and Chris had practically fucked. It made him pissed. Fucking freaking angry.
"Harder!' He seethed, pushing his ass back on Chris. "Do it harder!"
Chris, on his knees, Ben's ass in front of him, did his best to pound the shit out of his boyfriend. Grabbed his hair and pulled back hard. "What the fuck Ben?"
"Harder!"
Chris grabbed Ben's hips and slammed against them as hard as he could, his dick practically squeezed to death. Ben was clenching and twisting and it was hot as fuck, but Chris wasn't going to last very long like...
Ben grunted and used his strength to flip Chris onto his back, and slammed his ass down, filling himself with Chris. Grinding down hard, flexing and arching, the tremors starting to overtake him.
"You're mine." He seethed. "You're MY boyfriend. Mine."
Chris grabbed Ben's throat with one hand, his cock with the other. Gripping tightly. And Ben moaned, and tears began to leak down his face as he sobbed, Chris pounding him from underneath, taking control from below.
"Can you feel my fingers on you, Ben? Can you? My fingers are holding what's mine. You. Are. Mine. And I am yours. I love you. And you love me. And we belong to each other, Ben. You belong to me."
Ben, face sheeted with tears, released, covering Chris' chest, and Chris finished inside Ben, spilling into the condom, gritting his teeth and shuddering with the power of his orgasm.
===
"We're not going to school today," Chris said as Ben blearily opened his eyes.
The quarterback tried to sit up and found out that he really couldn't. His body felt stiff and sore. There were bite marks on his thighs that ached, scratch marks on his back that stung, and bruises all over his neck and hips.
Last night got a little out of hand. Their first time around was rough. Second time, worse. Third time...well he hoped to God Alan, Kate and Ed would forgive him.
It got a little loud.
He groaned and could barely turn over. Chris, on his side next to him, bearing his own battle scars from last night, kissed Ben's temple gently, and brushed his wispy hair out of his freckled face. Kissed his lips. And scrunched up his nose. Ben grinned, closing his eyes, and scrunched up his own nose, as Chris snuggled against him.
"I already texted your parents. We're not going to school. They'll call and say you're sick. No school, no friends, no football. I texted Alan, to tell Brian so he doesn't freak out. But we're not going today. We..." he ran his finger down Ben's nose, "Are going on a trip. Just us. Because sometimes, that's how relationships work. We did our time apart. Now it's time for our time together. Cool?"
Ben sighed. Happily.
"Cool."
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Author's Note: Yay!!! Happy ending to an uncomfortable chapter! I was going to include Chris and Ben's trip, but decided it deserves it's own moment. And I'm tired, and ready for bed. But you can see, I'm already stirring the pot.
This book just keeps getting longer and longer. I really wanted to get to this one major plot point, but I keep writing these filler chapters. Some important moments nestled in here, but still, I thought I'd be further along by Chapter 46. I have at least nine more chapters to go. Probably more. But at least nine more. And it's already a long book. Oh well. I'm the boss. I get to do what I want.