He woke up with his head pounding, everything a blur at first. Beams of sunlight shined through the curtains, the only source of light in the room he was in. He couldn't remember if anything had happened after he had fell asleep at his friend's house, or whether if he had made back home to Roman. Dean groans, trying to sit up but feels some pain coming from where there shouldn't any, unless if he asked for it rough and with no prep, no lube. His clothes are still on, except for his jeans. He is wearing only his t-shirt and boxers. Something feels weird down there, and he notices that it's dried blood. He has dried blood coming from his crotch area, and he tries to remember what had happened last night.
He is confused, scared about what could have happened last night. He's not for sure if he left Sami's house, whether if his friend had driven him back home or if he left on his own. If he had left on his own, he fears that he might have ended up in a pretty bad situation, might have gotten assaulted, which would explain the pain he is feeling down there. For a moment, he recognize his surroundings and almost starts to panic, thinking he might have been kidnapped, perhaps by his stepdad. For all he knows, he could have been out of prison by now and might have came after him. He feels a sense of fear overtaking him once again, as he realizes that if that was the case, there would be no escape for him, because he is for sure that the door would locked.
But he starts to recognize where he is. The posters on the walls, the pictures, the clothes on the floor, some other various items. On the nightstand next to the bed is an ashtray full cigarette butts. The room smells of cheap alcohol, pot, and someone else in the room, sitting in a chair besides the bed, is smoking a cigarette, playing some old, depressing, alternative music. Dean turns over slowly onto his other side, seeing his friend, Sami. He looks terrible. He is in some sort of drugged out state of mind, staring at him. His eyes look dead and tired, and it is as if he doesn't see Dean or he doesn't want to face the fact that he did something terrible to him, betrayed his trust. He is a mess, a complete mess.
For a few seconds, besides the music that plays, there is complete silence in the room, as he stares at him. He doesn't have anything to say to him, and he doesn't want to know what happened the night before. But he knows he can't avoid or hide from it. He needs to confront Sami about what he did. He wants to know why. He doesn't know whether if he was drugged, forced, or had a drunken one night stand.
"Sami," He speaks quietly, his voice empty of emotion, no malice or hatred behind it but no love and care either. Sami doesn't respond, just continues to smoke, still staring at Dean with that blank expression.
"Sami," He repeats, louder, more demanding this time. Slowly, he begins to sit up in his friend's bed. His head pounds once again. He places his right hand on his head, clutching at his hair, wincing from the pain.
"S-Sami," He speaks once more. He seems to have got his attention, noticing him twitching a little and gritting his teeth. Hearing the person he cared deeply the most about but hurt, made him angry at himself. He hears Dean's voice again, hating how broken it sounds.
"Tell me it's not true. Please, tell me you didn't..." Panic starts to rise up in him again. He doesn't want to believe it, but he knows the answer.
"I'm sorry..." Sami looks down, putting his cigarette out in a glass filled up with dirty water and other butts in it. The words feel like a knife plunging right into Dean's chest, cutting so deep, twisting and hurting him. He can't believe it, that Sami would betray him like this, take advantage of him when he was drunk and vulnerable.
"I'm sorry," Sami whispers, placing his head in his hands and clutching at his hair. "I didn't want to...Not like this..."
"Stop saying you're sorry!" Dean snaps, gritting his teeth in anger. "You don't get to say you're sorry. Not after what you did."
"I didn't want to hurt you..." Sami stands up now, taking a few steps closer to bed, making sure it was alright with Dean that he was near him. Dean moves as far away from him as he possibly can, curling his knees up to his chest. "I never wanted to hurt you. I only wanted to take care of you, to love you. I want to be special to you like he is."
"Shut up...Just shut up..." Dean shakes his head in disbelief, wanting to get out of the room as quickly as he can. He doesn't want to hear how much he was loved by someone who betrayed him so badly.
"I was in your life before he ever he came into it. I cared about you and loved you before he ever did. I've had these feelings for you since you've graduated middle school. I didn't act on them because I was afraid to lose your friendship, and plus, because of our age difference."
Sami's expression doesn't change as he speaks, but the emotion in his voice grows. He sits down next to Dean, reaching out to stroke the soft skin of ankle, making the teen flinch away from him.
"I've always loved you. I would've given anything to protect you too. To get you out of the abusive household with your stepdad, to punish those assholes who bully you at school. I would've done anything for you. But you chose that fucking goody-two shoes. You put him first above me, gave all of your heart and soul to him, all of your love. You chose someone who is scared of the real you inside."
"S-Stop...Just go away...Just shut up..." Dean whispers, his voice breaking as he trembles in fear, clutching at the blanket to try to cover himself up with.
Sami ignores his fear, leaning in more closer to him, breathing down upon neck. "I never understood it...Why you picked him instead of me. He isn't like us. He'll never understand what it means to be different, to be an outcast, to be so fucked up. He ruined us. Ruined our bond that we share. He took away everything from me."
"S-Stop...Please..."
"I loved you so much, but you loved him more." Sami cupped his hand around the side of Dean's face, forcing him to look at him, ignoring the tears streaming down his face. "I had to do this, Dean. I had to make you mine in some way. I tried to be gentle with you, I really did. Believe me, I would have rather done it with your consent but you were too far from my grasp. So, I drugged you and kept you here with me last night."
Sami's words hit him hard, making it hard to breathe. "You d-drugged me?"
Sami smiles, leaning in closer to him, brushing their lips together. The kiss is oppressive and forceful, making Dean want to vomit. Sami pulls away, kissing at his lips for a moment longer, before pressing their foreheads together.
"You can leave me now and go back to him. Just know that I'll always you still, no matter how much you hate me, how much you wish to kill me. I'll never let you go."
With a grunt, Dean pushes him off of him, making him fall to the floor. He reaches over, grabbing his jeans and hoodie, quickly putting them on. He tries not look at Sami while he gets dressed, instead only focusing on getting the fuck out of here. He tries to ignore the pounding in his head and the sick feeling in his stomach. His mouth tastes horrible, and he can feel a bruise forming on his neck. Sami didn't even wait for him to wake up before he started...doing that. His stomach churns, and he's about to be sick. He runs over to the corner of his room, dropping to his knees as he begins to empty the contents of his stomach into a small trash can, dry heaving for a few moments after. He stays like that for a few minutes, hoping that the wave of nausea passes him.
After he is done, he stands up, exiting the room, and hurrying out of his friends house. He wants to go back home to Roman, wants get as far away from his friend as he possibly can. He runs, not slowing down for anything. A while later he finally makes it to his destination, falling down to his knees outside, clutching at his stomach. Another worrying, scary thought crosses his mind suddenly then. The baby...What if...? No, he couldn't think like that. He may have been hurt but his baby was alright, it had to be. He wouldn't be able to bear to it if what Sami had done to him ended up hurting his baby also or resulted in him miscarrying.
He ignores the pain in his stomach and knees, dragging himself up the stairs to open the doors to the hospital. He pauses at the entrance, taking in a few deep breaths to try to settle his stomach again. After a few moments of doing this, he feels ready to enter the hospital once more. He pushes the door open, walking inside.
When he enters, he finds that it's almost completely empty. The staff seems to be busying themselves with other patients in other areas of the hospital, leaving the main reception area near empty. Luckily for him, there was one staff member standing behind the desk who notices his entrance.
He hobbles over to the desk, leaning down on it slightly as he catches his breath.
"I-I...I need to see my psychiatrist, Bray...I need to speak with him, please..." He manages to get out between pants. The staff member looks at him with a concerned expression.
"Do you have an appointment?" She asks, although she's already reaching for the phone, most likely to call up to the psychiatry department and tell them that he was here.
"I-I don't...But it's important that I speak with him...I don't feel well...Something bad happened to me..."
The woman nods, continuing to call up to the department as he stands up, and walks over to the waiting room chairs. He sits down on one of the chairs there, trying to calm himself. He can feel his headache getting worse and his stomach still feels sick.
He tries not to worry about what Sami did to him. His main concern is his child inside him. He prays that they are okay, that no harm was done to them. He doesn't want anything to happen to them, not now, not ever. The woman manages to get through on the phone, quickly speaking in a hushed tone. She pauses every now and then to listen to the person on the other end, a concerned expression on her face as she does so. After a few minutes of speaking with the person on the phone, she hangs up.
"Mr. Wyatt says he'll see you. Room 314."
He nods his thanks, standing up. He makes his way to the elevator, pressing the up arrow button. When it opens, he gets in and selects the third floor. The doors close and it begins to ascend. He leans against the wall, feeling exhausted again. He's tired, so tired. He just wants to sleep. Wants to have Roman next to him, comforting him and holding him. Soon, the elevator arrives at the third floor and the doors open. He walks out, finding himself in a long hallway with rooms on either side. Room 314 is at the far end of the hallway, so he begins to walk towards it.
Before he makes it though, he hears a familiar voice behind him. He turns around and sees his psychiatrist, Bray Wyatt. He looks concerned for him.
"Dean, I wasn't expecting to see you until next week. Is everything alright?"
He stands there silently, unsure of how to begin. He just shakes his head. "No...No, everything's not alright."
Bray nods, gesturing for him to follow. The two of the walk into his office, where Bray closes the door and has Dean sit down in his chair.
"Now...Tell me what's wrong."
He takes a deep breath, trying to steady himself. Tears begin to well up in his eyes once more. "M-My friend...He...he..." The tears fall down his cheeks as he struggles to get the words out.
"He what, Dean?"
He covers his face with his hands, trying to hide the tears, but it's no use. They keep falling down his cheeks as the sobs make their way out of his throat. "He...He's dead to me...He betrayed my trust...Took advantage of me..."
The words come out jumbled and broken. He falls forward, burying his face in his arms as he lets out all of his emotions. Bray sits there in silence for a moment before speaking again.
"Do you want to tell me what happened?"
He wipes his eyes, taking a deep breath, and begins to speak again. "I-I don't know how it happened...He put something in my drink last night. He drugged me and I...I fell asleep...He hurt me...and I'm afraid he may have hurt my baby..."
He covers his face with his hands again, sobbing. He begins rocking back and forth in the chair gently, trying to calm himself down. Bray puts a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to comfort him.
"It's okay, Dean. Just take a deep breath..."
"After I left his house, I...I just wanted to hurt myself. Slice my fucking wrists up. Out of the people I know, I never thought that he would betray my trust like that! I never thought that he would ever hurt me...like that..." He slouches forward, his head falling into his hands. "I'm sorry, I...I just..."
He begins sobbing again. He tries to calm himself down for a few moments, before Bray begins speaking again. "It's alright. You're going to be alright. It's a good thing you came to me instead of hurting yourself. You did the right thing. Now, I think it's best if we get you checked out, make sure the baby is alright, okay?"
He nods, wiping his eyes. The two of them get up, and leave the office.
"I'm glad you came to me, Dean. I'll always be here if you need me."
He smiles a bit, wiping his eyes. "Thanks, Bray."
***
Some hours later, Dean arrives back at home. Roman is sitting in the living room, looking worried, wondering where he has been. As soon as he sees Dean coming into the living room, he stands up, going over to him, putting his arms around him.
"I was so worried about you. You didn't come home from Sami's last night."
He hugs him back, holding onto him tightly. "I'm sorry I worried you. Something happened and I had to go to the hospital." He doesn't exactly want to tell him what happened, what Sami did to him. He just wants to forget about it, focus only his comforting presence.
"Something happened? You were hurt? Are you and the baby...alright?"
He places a hand on his stomach. "Yes, the baby and I are fine, don't worry. Just had an accident, fell over. Had to stay at the hospital overnight."
Roman kisses him, smiling. "That's good to hear. I'm glad that you both are alright."
Dean kisses him back, smiling also. "Can we go upstairs, please? I want you to do something for me. Well, to me actually."
"Anything for you, Dean."
"I want you to tie me up, choke me, pull my hair, and fuck me as hard as you can. I want you cut deep into my skin. I...I need you to help ground me. Help me to forget anything else around me."
"A-Are you sure? I don't want to do anything to you while you're in this state." He gestures to Dean's stomach.
"Please. I need this. I want this."
He doesn't hesitate any longer, especially after hearing him say 'please' and how much he needs it. He can never resist him when he's like this. He lifts Dean up off his feet, holding him in his arms. "Come on then my Angel. Let's head upstairs."
He carries Dean upstairs to his bedroom. Once there, he tells him take off all his clothes and to get on his hands and knees. Dean does as he is told, stripping out of his clothes very slowly, giving his boyfriend a show while doing so. When he's finished, he gets into position, looking back at Roman as he waits for him to make his next move.
He runs his hand along Dean's back, watching his muscles move as he does so. He pushes him forward, getting on his knees behind him and taking both of his ass cheeks in his hands. "I'm going to eat you out first. Then I'm going to tie your wrists together afterwards, make sure you can't touch yourself. The only way you'll get to cum is by me fucking you."
"Perfect. I want you to do it rough, I want you to be a fucking animal. I want you to not hold back."
He growls, kissing Dean's back, while going further down. He nips the skin of his ass, making sure to leave some bruises on it. Then, he spreads his ass cheeks apart, licking his hole. He tastes divine, like pure lust and sex. He licks him up and down his hole before thrusting his tongue inside. Dean moans loudly as his Roman's tongue begins to dominate him. He continues to fuck his ass with his tongue for at least a full minute, making sure to drive him wild for as much as he can, making sure he pushes his boundaries. He loves it when Dean's limits are pushed.
Roman pulls his tongue out and goes back to kissing him on the back, right above his ass. He quickly gets up and walks over to his nightstand, opening the top drawer and pulling out some rope. He comes back, getting on his knees behind Dean again, and gently begins tying his wrists together. He ties it tight enough so that it won't come off, but not so much that it will cut off his circulation.
"I love you, Dean. Anything you want, anything you ask of me, I will for you."
"All I ask for you to do right now is to make the world around us disappear." He pants, trying to hold back his tears. "Burn it all away. Let there nothing left but me and you."
Roman nods, running his hands up and down Dean's sides. He breathes in Dean's scent, licking his neck. He leans in closer to him, whispering in his ear. "For you, baby, I would be your sword. Your weapon of destruction. Anything that I can do to make the your pain go away, I would do."
"T-Then... break me. Break me until I can be put back together again. Put me back together better than I was before."
'Give me everything that I crave for. Your touch, your skin upon mine. Give me your blood, let me make you a part of me so that when I die I can take you with me.
You draw me in with your voice. Singing to me the promises of tomorrow, of a better day ahead of us. Your beauty is one that cannot be tainted.
You are the light that shines bright in this dark world of mine. You've opened my eyes and gave me hope. You are what I believe in. No one can make me believe in something else that was never there in the first place.
Tear me apart. Wrap me up in your chains. Take control of me, make me clean and pure for you. Make me good enough. Help me see that I am worth it.'