——Maryam's POV——
It felt almost forever since I had last breathed a sigh of relief. The constant pressure of being in someone else's house and being a burden on them was massive and it didn't help when you had your own problems to deal with. Cornelia had always assured me that I wasn't a burden but I wasn't dumb not to read expressions.
The next court hearing was only two days away and I was feeling the nervousness already. My lawyer had contacted me with all the necessary files regarding the assets and things seemed to be well in place. I was as good as divorced and it was NOT a good feeling.
"Come on! I'm starving!" Cornelia exclaimed, shaking me out of my thoughts. I was brought back to reality when my eyes fell on the empty plate in front of me. My eyes then traveled to Cornelia and then to Damian who was busy with his phone, sitting right next to his sister.
"Why won't our order come?" Cornelia groaned again for the hundredth time, with her hand under her cheek and elbow resting on the table. I looked around the half filled restaurant. "We ordered a lot, Corn. It should take a good amount of time."
Damian nodded in agreement. "Yeah, all cause my fat sister can't do with just two sandwiches so she had to order about five of them." His tone suggested he was trying to annoy her and it would be a lie to say that it didn't work. Cornelia whipped her head towards him and smacked his shoulder.
"I need food because I'm a busy person unlike you, you lazy blob." she sneered, making me erupt into a laugh. Damian looked offended but even more when he looked at me. "Don't tell me you're going to support her on this, Maryam." He shook his head in disbelief.
I shrugged. "Sorry but she's my best friend. And she's not all wrong."
His eyes widened dramatically, hinting that he was just playing along. "I can't believe you of all people would say that." He pretended to look hurt and we all burst into laughter.
After a bit more chit chat, our food came and soon we were busy stuffing our mouths. In that time, a serious topic became the center of discussion and surprisingly, it was Damian who started it.
"So you're finally getting divorced, huh?" he said, making me look up from my plate. I slowly nodded. "Looks like it. The lawyer said that the judge was pretty much convinced and I would probably even get more share out of the assets because of cases of domestic abuse and cheating." I told him, pretty blatantly.
I had gotten quite used to being around him which was not all right. I realized that I had to keep my distance but we had become good friends over the one week I stayed at his house.
Damian nodded knowingly. "We wish you the best, Maryam. You deserve it too." He smiled gently at me, his blue eyes glinting as he did. For a moment, he looked nothing like Cornelia's brother and a completely new person. It took me to the first day I saw him in middle school.
He had glanced at me for a short second and it wasn't the nicest look. It was actually quite rude the way he rolled his eyes and turned away to his friends right after locking eyes with me. But all the times I saw him after that, he was weirdly nice and gentlemanly. His soft expressions never matched his torn jeans and unbuttoned shirts that showed off his typical jock-build but I never paid much mind to it.
He was a good guy and that was it. But things weren't the same as before. He wasn't just a good guy, he was a good supporter and well-wisher. It made me wonder a lot if he did it only because I was his sister's friend or if there was something else to it.
"Uhh, Earth TO MARYAM!" Cornelia practically screamed at my face and I was dragged out of my thoughts. "What?!" I blinked, startled. She frowned at me. "I just told you I gotta go." she said, finally making my brain process again.
"Oh? Where?" I asked. She narrowed her eyes at me but still answered. "Remember I joined the debate club? The prez is calling me in to discuss last minute changes in the script." she said, looking at me and then Damian.
"Oh." was all I could say. "Let's go then."
She shook her head. "No, I gotta go there straight from here. I'll have to take the driver with me so can you and Damian get home by taking a cab?" she asked and I nodded. "Of course, I've no problem."
Cornelia stood up and left after saying a quick goodbye, leaving me alone with Damian. For a short while, it was oddly awkward and the only noise that filled the silence was the clinking of our plates or our chewing. But, Damian was an easy person. His presence didn't make me feel pressurized or discomforted at all.
We ate in silence and once we were done, I was the first one to get up. "Let's split the bill." I told him to which he shot up straight with widened eyes. "No way. I can't let you pay." he stood up after me and quickly reached for the bill before I could.
"It's okay. You don't have to pay for me too. I'm here by myself." I wanted to point out that we weren't on a date but felt that it was inappropriate. Thankfully, he read my expression and understood what I was implying. Despite that, he stood there stubbornly and shoved his card inside the bill before I could say anything else.
"Maryam, whatever it is, you can't possibly expect me to let a lady pay in my presence. It's against the rules and just to clarify, my ego as a man would be severely offended." He said, calmly.
I shook my head in disbelief as I chuckled. "What rules, Damian? There are no such rules when it comes to having lunch with someone. And it's only ethical to pay for yourself." it didn't make him budge so I just accepted it.
"You wouldn't understand. You're having lunch with me and it's not right if I make you pay for yourself. We're friends, right? Let me act like a good friend then." He said, slightly firmly which just amused me further.
We walked out of the shop to find a cab and as we did, I tried to argue with him on how it was weird for him to pay for me.
"I don't know how to explain it to you but it's just something us men have in our blood. It's shameful in some way to let a girl pay when we're there. Then again, we're not strangers. Hopefully, you consider me as your friend as I do." He stopped to look at me.
I was ahead of him and had to turn my head around to face him.
My eyes fell on his face and something hit me suddenly. His pale cheeks had a tint of pink that spread over his nose and his gaze was fixated on the ground like he was unable to face me or something. Even though he was much taller than me, his head was hanging low with his hands balled into fists.
"Well? Are we friends?" he pressed despite looking... Shy.
I blinked, caught off guard by the question. It made me brainstorm; what were we?
"Uh, I..."
It took me a minute to answer, thinking for the correct words. "If I'll be completely honest, I wouldn't like to say friends since Islamically, it doesn't seem appropriate for an unrelated man and woman to be friends but of course, we aren't strangers." by then, even I was feeling weirdly nervous which I hardly felt with him.
His expression was strange and I hadn't ever seen him that quiet or serious. I turned my head around, trying to escape the odd atmosphere that he was creating by standing there like that. Suddenly, a glimpse of Abdullah raced through my head and I felt a pang of guilt.
It seemed awfully like I was doing something wrong by sharing that awkward moment with Damian when I was still in Abdullah's nikah. And despite my new born hatred for him, I didn't want to betray him in any way. He was still the only one who had the right to be close to me and no matter how wrong it was, he was still the only man I ever loved—and still loved.
"Well, you paid the bill so I guess we shouldn't argue over it. Thank you for that but next time let me treat you." I smiled quickly at Damian and started walking again. I heard his heavy footsteps start after me, much to my relief.
My throat had gone dry and I wasn't feeling normal. My heart was beating fast so I tried my very best to avoid Damian. But, he didn't stop it there much to my disappointment.
"Can I ask you a question?" he asked. I nodded just because I couldn't say no.
"Abdullah never treated you right. Did you ever think of leaving him before this recent event? Or did you ever think about marrying someone else?" the question was enough to make my heart stop. I was getting more and more confused but didn't dare let it show.
"Uhmm, I don't think so, no."
"Really?"
I nodded, forging ahead with a great pace. Despite walking so much faster than him, his long legs carried him right beside me with only a distance of a few meters.
"Would you accept someone else's proposal after getting divorced from Abdullah?" he wasn't stopping and it scared me to think that I had to answer him. I tried my best to look around the block and keep on walking without accidentally looking at him.
"I don't know. It depends on the person." I quickly said. "If the man is good, pious, caring and overall a good Muslim, I might think about it."
I felt him nod beside me. "Hmm... What if I proposed to you?"
Silence.
My legs stopped. I couldn't walk anymore and finally turned to look at him. Forcing myself to bring my eyes to his face, I gulped down the lump in my throat.
"Sorry?"
He wasn't shy no more but looking confidentally straight at me. "What if I proposed to you, Maryam?" he repeated slowly and clearly. The words hit me again and I felt blood rush through my whole body to my cheeks.
My body was heating up and I felt the hairs on my neck rise up. My dry throat hurt when I gulped again and I felt my hands shake.
"Damian, I..." my voice was breaking but I was somehow still speaking. "Are you serious?" was what I ended up saying.
He half smiled and nodded. "Yes, Maryam. I'm serious. I want to marry you."
And that was that. I couldn't meet his gaze nor could I face him in any way. In a panic, I turned around and started to walk. "I'm sorry... I-i can't speak right —" but I was interrupted.
His hand had already reached for my wrist and he grabbed it gently, making me jump. "No, wait!" He tugged which made me jerk towards him. In a state of shock, I forgot to set myself free of his grip. He was surprised by himself and with the realization that he had touched me, he quickly let go.
"I'm sorry but please, I want my answer." He looked seriously at me, his blue eyes staring right into mine. I looked away and started to fidget. "I don't think I can answer just yet. This is... This is a big surprise for me..."
My eyes frantically darted here and there, trying to look elsewhere. But despite that, he was bold enough to keep his stare fixed on me.
"But why is it a such a surprise? I've been trying to drop hints all this time and you never noticed. I've liked you Maryam. I've liked you since I first saw you but you've always been oblivious." his tone held a bit of complaint but it was more soft and gentle.
His eyes were like an ocean of emotions which I tried so hard to ignore and look away, thinking I hadn't even been divorced yet.
"I... Honestly never knew..." I replied shakily but sincerely. He shook his head in disappointment. "Well, you do now. And I assure you, I'll treat you better than Abdullah. I won't let tears flow from your eyes the way he did." he clenched his fist which I noticed. "He doesn't deserve you, Maryam. Let him be with Noor because she's perfect for him. I promise you I won't let any sort of trouble even breathe near you, as much as I can."
I couldn't believe my ears. The sincerity in his voice and the passion in his eyes made my heart beat like crazy. I was lost and hopeless. I never imagined in my wildest dreams that Damian could be interested in me. And the way he spoke with such assurety and confidence, it was making me believe every word he uttered.
"But... But," I looked up at him, gathering some courage. "Why me?"
His mouth curled into a smile and his passionate eyes softened.
"Why not? I've never met such a considerate, modest and strong girl in my life. At school, all of us were just going with the flow doing whatever we were told, not knowing really what our future held but you? You looked like you had a purpose. You had strong values and you stood by them. There were things you never compromised on and it was honestly, very inspiring." He laughed to himself before continuing,
"If I had asked any other girl to come to a party with me, she would've, either because I asked her or 'cause she wanted to look cool and impressive hanging out with the popular kids. But you surprised me when Noor brought you to the party. You didn't care about looking uncool in front of all those people and you didn't care about your friend and just walked away. That was impressive, Maryam. To stand for what you believe and what you care about is cool." He then looked back at me, making me look down immediately to hide the red on my face.
"Islam gave you this strength. You wear the hijab because Allah told you to. You don't wish bad for anyone because Allah orders you not to. You stay in your limits, stay positive and help others all because you're a Muslim and your faith tells you to. It shows in your personality and in your words. I've never felt this way for a girl before, Maryam. And I'm willing to fight for you but I just want you to say yes."
He sighed. "The decision is of course, in the end yours but I'll pray to Allah for you. My heart aches for your companionship and it has always for the last few years I've known you." I could see a small tint of red cover his pale cheeks and his eyes shyly looking at me.
I was in a trance, revising his words in my head and trying to pull myself to reality. An involuntary smile appeared on my face and I bit my lip to prevent it from spreading. "Damian...I never knew..." his name rolled off my tongue unintentionally and I really wanted to give him a hug but of course controlled myself.
He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to continue. "But, I can't answer now. I'll give you my answer a day before the last hearing of the court so I hope you'll wait for me until then." I was still smiling.
He chuckled a little. "I can wait for you my whole life. A day is nothing compared to that."
His words caught me off guard and I quickly turned around to hide my nervousness. My heartbeat had slowed down, thankfully and I was not feeling scared anymore. It felt good to know his thoughts and that I held importance for him.
It also kinda explained how he was so nice to me every time and why he was so willing to be supportive and always there when I needed help.
"You're a great person, Damian. You see the good in everything and negate the bad. I pray to Allah I could be more like you." I said slowly, locking my arms behind me and starting to walk. I felt him open his mouth to say something but I beat him to it.
"And I think we should head back because I've got to prepare for court. I hope your prayers are with me."
He smiled. "Always."
....
We went back to Cornelia's house after that via cab and I felt emotionally tired. I had never been in that place before and wasn't prepared for it either. Thinking about it, I realized that Noor was right when she felt threatened.
Surprisingly, Damian did not like me much to her dismay.
But, I didn't feel sorry for her. She never tried to win him in the right way. She always turned to shortcuts and wrong ways to get him to notice her. Maybe it was a lesson Allah wanted to teach her. Damian was the reason she started getting bolder and rebellious and ironically, it became the cause for him to hate her.
Life was such a mean teacher.
My eyes felt droopy and I forgot when or how I drifted off to sleep. Before entering the world of dreams, I managed to recite the dua of sleep and then immediately dozed off.