I march through the house like it's my own and find myself standing in Rafe's bedroom.
"Eager aren't you?" He says when I shut the door.
"No. I don't have anywhere else to go." I sigh.
"Where are your pogue friends?"
"I don't know." I say truthfully.
"Sarah and John B took the boat so they all may be with them, I guess you aren't pogue enough to hang out with them."
"Why am I not pogue enough?"
"Because of the way you dress and act. Everybody can tell you have money at first glance."
"Well that shouldn't matter. They are still my friends." I say. "You're just trying to piss me off."
He shrugs and a little grin grows on his face.
"I can leave if you want me to." I say, crossing my arms.
"No, you are fine right here." He says, standing up from his desk chair.
"Okay, that's what I thought." I say and roll my eyes.
I walk past his body and sit on the edge of the bed. I'm not even sure why I came here. I know I didn't come here to take 'How to suck dick 101' that's for sure. I kind of feel comforted by Rafe, he's the only one here who knows my family issues.
"What's wrong? You are usually less moody than this?" He asks, sitting beside me on the bed.
"I came here because I thought I wanted to get some things off my mind, but now I'm not in the mood for anything like that. I really can go."
"You don't have to, you can stay. Sex is not all I care about, its just a big part of my life." He says jokingly and I grin.
"How nice. I didn't think you could be."
"I can be, to certain people." He shrugs. "So what's wrong?"
"My parents are just pissing me off." I sigh.
"How come?"
"It's stupid. They said they wanted to buy a boat and I told them not to bother because they will never be here to use it and I'll be stuck with it when they decide they are never coming back here again. It happens all the time. They just blow me off every time I say things like that and it's so difficult to be around them."
"Do you really think they will leave again?"
"I know they will. They've been here for two days and that's longer than I expected. I give it another week." I say.
"How long do they leave you for?"
"It could be a week to months. They left me for three months when I was nine. Didn't tell anybody so I had to call my own nanny to come over to look after me." I say.
"That's pretty fucked up."
"Yeah. That's not even the worst." I say. "I love them and I know they love me but we just have a weird relationship. I'm not sure why they even decided to have a kid when they knew they would have no time for me."
"Well at least you're a good kid. My dad is terrified of me." He mumbles.
"I think your dad is a coward." I say. "I read about you guys online last night, basically you're whole story. I understand everything, why you do what you can to protect him and I think you're really brave."
I turn to Rafe and his eyes are soft. His face is kind of shocked and I guess I can understand why. So many people are probably afraid of him, or don't care enough to know about his family issues. They see him as somebody who they can check off their fuck list and that's it.
"You're really not afraid of me?" He asks.
"Not one bit." I say truthfully.
"Why? How?"
"I don't know. I normally would be I think. If this was the situation back in Washington, I would be doing my best to stay away from you. I feel like I should be scared, I should be staying away from you but I can't. That probably sounds weird for you but something about you just pulls me in. I'm interested to know everything about you and I really want to help you."
His lips part but no words come out.
"I don't think you should try to protect your father anymore Rafe. You said yourself he wasn't a good guy and he's making you do all these crazy things to save himself. You need real help Rafe and you're entitled to that."
"My dad isn't even here." He says.
"Where is he?"
"I don't know. Could be dead, or in jail."
"How do you not know?"
"He faked his death after he confessed that he killed Peterkin to save my ass. John B and Sarah almost beat him to death though when he basically kidnapped her and tried to take her away from him. He tried turning everything onto John B to make Sarah hate him but it didn't work.
"I don't think I will ever fully understand this situation."
"It's complicated to explain. I don't even remember half the stuff that happened. I'm sure Sarah could talk about it for days." He says rolling his eyes.
"You really don't like her to do?"
"Not her, my other sister Wheezie isn't bad though."
"You have another sister? Wheezie?"
"Yeah, she's somewhere with our step-mom." He says. "Another long story that I don't feel like getting into."
"Wow," I say. "There's a lot I don't know about you then."
"There's a lot you don't want or need to know, trust me," He sighs.
I look at him with sympathetic eyes. I wish there was a real way I could help him. I wish I stuck with the psychology program I was in. I did almost three years so I guess I know a lot of it but taking on somebody like Rafe as my first 'patient' would be tough.
My phone buzzes in my hand, causing us both to look down at Lola's name flashing across the screen.
"Who's Lola?"
"My friend from Washington. I don't have to answer." I say.
"Go ahead. I want to see this Lola girl." He says and I can't help but feel a little jealous.
I slide over on the screen and Lola's face appears. She doesn't even say hi, she just starts gossiping.
"I am going to fuck Maria up, okay Hannah, you are so fucking lucky you left. But now I'm stuck with this stupid bitch. How could you leave me like this? You could have at least taken me with you." She says and I laugh.
"Just tell her to fuck off." I say and Rafe looks at me with a surprised look.
"Didn't know that word was in your vocabulary." He whispers.
"Hannah. Who is that? Are you in a boys room!" She says.
I can tell she stopped dead in her tracks when she heard his voice. Now she's yelling in the middle of the street.
"Show me right now. Who are you with?"
"Nobody." I say, looking at Rafe awkwardly but he only looks amused.
"Don't lie to me bitch." She says.
"One second." I say and put her on mute.
"If she knows I'm with you then the whole world is going to know. She already knows who you are and I haven't even told her about you." I say.
"It's fine, you can tell her." He says.
I take a deep breath before unmuting her and slowly pointing my phone in Rafe's direction. He sits there with a stern face now, not friendly at all.
"Oh my god. Hannah. SHOW ME YOUR FACE AGAIN." She yells into the phone.
I point the phone back to me and her mouth is wide open. She brings the phone close to her mouth.
"Bitch I told you to tell me the second you laid eyes on him. I'm hanging up, there's some things I need to say in private." She says and the call ends.
"I told you." I say and he grins.
"She's very different than you." He says.
"Yeah, I have no idea why we are best friends." I say. "She's definitely your type I think."
"Why do you say that? How do you know my type?"
"I don't, but she's everybody's type apparently." I say.
I ignore my phone buzzing continuously in my hand.
"She's pretty hot but I wouldn't say she's my type."
"What's your type then?" I ask, folding my arms. I can't wait to hear this.
"Blondes, blue eyes. Kinda funny and kinda bitchy."
"Bitchy? You like bitchy?"
"Depends. Not the whiny bitchy, but somebody who can stand up for themselves bitchy. I don't want to have to fight every battle for them."
"How thoughtful." I say. "I thought that's what boyfriends were supposed to do."
"I don't do girlfriends."
"Then why would you need to fight anybody's battles?"
"I'm just saying, if it ever gets to that point."
"Mhm. Well, good luck finding that person." I say.
"You have almost all of those qualities."
"I do not. I'm not bitchy."
"I think you can be."
"Maybe to you. But that's because you're the same way with me." I say.
"No, I'm nothing but kind to you. I'm taking your virginity in a nice way, remember?"
"I never asked you to,"
"But you know you want me to." He says. He's not wrong.
"Maybe I'll ask JJ to do it instead." I say jokingly, but his jaw tightens and breath hitches.
"No you fucking won't." He says.
"Relax," I chuckle. "I'm just joking."
His face relaxes and he blows out a deep breath.
"Please check your phone. I'm getting pissed off hearing that buzzing sound." He grumbles. Well I guess the ten minutes of nice Rafe is over.
Lola👯♀️: Bitch
Lola👯♀️: I can't believe this. You are with RAFE CAMERON????
Lola👯♀️: What are you doing there? Are you guys FUCKING?
Lola👯♀️: I am SO mad at you for not telling me this crucial information Hannah. We are BEST FRIENDS. We tell each other who we FUCK!!!
Lola👯♀️: OH MY GOD. RAFE CAMERON IS GOING TO POP YOUR CHERRY???? YOU LUCKY SON OF A BITCH
Me: Lola, are you forgetting about your boyfriend Riley? He would not be happy if he heard you say that. And no, he haven't popped the red yet, relax
Lola👯♀️: YET? So that means he WILL? Have you at least kissed??
Me: A couple times but that's it
"What's she saying?" He asks.
"Nothing important. She's just mad at me for not telling her." I say, shaking my head. "She thinks you're super hot."
"Tell her I say she's super hot." He says.
"No." I say, without even thinking.
"No? Why not? Are you jealous that I think your friend is hot?"
"No." I say. Yes.
"Tell her."
"Why?"
"Just do it. Brighten her day a little."
"Since when do you care about brightening peoples day?"
"Hannah." He says sternly and I sigh.
Me: He thinks your super hot
Lola👯♀️: He just told you that?😩😩😩 wait why would he say that in front of you??? 🚩🚩🚩 U know what, IDC bc he thinks I'm hot😱😱 Day = made
I show him her response and he chuckles.
"Told you I'd brighten her day." He says and I turn my phone off.
"What's wrong? I was just messing around Hannah."
"No you aren't." I say. "You did that because you knew it would hurt my feelings."
"Why would that hurt your feelings? You're jealous, just admit it." He says.
"No, I'm not admitting to anything." I say, standing up from his bed.
"Hannah relax." He says.
"I have to go." I say.
"Why?"
"Because." I say and open his bedroom door.
I shut it behind me before he gets the chance to stop me. I quickly walk down the hallway and escape the house without anybody seeing me.
When I get outside I take a deep breath and try to hold in the tears building up in my eyes.
Why am I crying? Why am I acting like a child?
I have always felt jealous over Lola. She was always miss perfect and people were so mean to me because of how I looked. I always thought I was a half decent looking person until I got to high school.
Yes it did affect me when people compared me to Lola and hyped her up in front of me everyday, but when Rafe does it, it hurts ten times more. Does this mean I have feelings for Rafe?