"Kuya, kinakabahan ako."
Mamaya na kasi yung performance ng banda nila kuya at biglaang umalis yung dati nilang vocalist. As their last resort, they asked me to sing for them. Wala naman sanang problema 'yon sa'kin kaso hindi ko alam kung bakit tuwing nandyan na, saka ako kinakabahan.
"Ano ka ba, Kaycee, just enjoy the moment. Own it," kuya said. "Para hindi ka masyadong kabahan, pumikit ka tapos imaginin mong nagppractice lang tayo. Magaling ka namang kumanta eh."
"Pero kinakabahan pa rin ako."
"You can do that," ginulo niya yung buhok ko saka ngumiti. "We won't ask a favor from you if we don't trust your talent."
Tonight's event will be the last for our school's Science month. To relieve the students' stress from the past weeks, it has become an annual habit of our school to end the month with a battle of the bands. Each year level has a representative for this contest but of course, may guest bands din. Minsan, nag-iimbita rin sila ng mga sikat na banda, pero madalas, mas gusto nilang mga estudyante lang din dito yung tumutugtog. As the most famous band in our school, kuya's band always perform in every event, including this.
Maaga kaming pumasok sa school para makapaghanda. Nasa backstage kami kasama yung ibang kabanda ni kuya. Nagtatawanan lang sila habang ako, nag-iisip na ng mga senaryong posibleng mangyari mamaya.
"Kaycee, kinakabahan ka na naman ba?" Tanong sa'kin ni Emman, ang drummer ng banda at isa rin sa best friends ko.
"Medyo."
"Wag! Ang galing galing mo eh. Wag mo nalang silang tingnan kung kakabahan ka dahil dun. Enjoyin mo lang lalo na yung kanta."
"I'll try..."
"Yon oh!" He patted my head.
"Helloooooooo!"
Biglang may pumasok na dalawang babae. Those two girls are always at our house. Dahil sa bahay namin ginagawa yung practices, lagi rin sila ron. Although they don't perform with the band, the two of them are important to each member of kuya's band.
"Goodluck! Galingan ninyo mamaya ha!" Lumapit ang isa kay kuya at yumakap. Ganun din ang ginawa niya sa iba pa.
"Kinakabahan na naman si Kaycee, noh?" Sabi ni Kat, yung isa pang babae.
"Ano pa nga ba? Alam mo naman yan."
"Huy, Kaycee, wag ka kabahan! Goodluck! Magchicheer ako."
"Oo na," sagot ko, natatawa.
"Galingan ninyo! Manlilibre ako mamaya pagkatapos ng event," sabi ni ate Alaine, yung yumakap kila kuya kanina.
"Ayun, may pagkain! Mukhang gaganahan na ako nito," sagot agad ni kuya Mikee, ang bahista ng banda.
Napuno ng tawanan sa backstage. Wala na kasing ibang ginagawa sila kuya kundi magbiruan. Ganito sila madalas, good vibes lang. Kaya rin gustong-gusto kong sumasama sa kanila, bukod pa sa fact na malapit na ako sa bawat isa sa kanila.
"Kaycee," tawag sa'kin ni Kat.
"Bakit?"
"Pasama naman oh... Magsisimula na ba kayong magprepare?"
Tumingin muna ako sa wall clock sa gilid ng backstage. May 15 minutes pa bago magsimula yung event.
"May time pa naman. Saan ba?"
"Sa tindahan lang sa labas. I'll buy snacks for us later. You know, di tayo nakapaghanda."
I nodded then stood up to follow her. Tinanong pa ako nila kuya kung saan kami pupunta and we just answered 'snacks'. Alam na nila yon kapag ganon.
"Galingan mo mamaya ha," sabi niya habang naglalakad kami. "Excited na akong mapanood ka! Iba pa rin kapag banda ng kuya mo yung pinapanood ko."
"Sana wag ako pangunahan ng kaba."
"Hindi yan! Basta gawin mo lang yung parating sinasabi ng kuya mo sayo kapag kabado ka."
"That's honestly my only plan," I smiled shyly.
Gaya ng paalam namin, bumili kami ng makakain para sa aming lahat mamaya. Medyo last part pa ng event yung performance namin kaya kailangan namin ng snacks, lalo na si kuya Mikee.
Habang naglalakad kami pabalik, parami na rin nang parami yung mga estudyanteng dumadating para manood. May mga outsiders din akong nakikita.
"Shit!"
"Sorry!"
Sa kakatingin ko sa mga dumadating, hindi ko namalayang may makakabangga pala ako. A guy about my age came out of the backstage. Nagkabanggaan kami kaya heto, natumba pa 'ko sa sahig. Nalaglag pa yung ilan sa mga pinamili ko.
"Sorry, miss."
"Hala, Kaycee!"
Tutulungan na sana ako ni Kat na tumayo kaso nauna sa kaniya yung nakabungguan ko. He assisted me in standing up, gently holding my left hand.
"I'm sorry again, miss."
"Okay lang."
Nahihiya siyang tumango sa'kin saka umalis. Sinundan ko pa muna siya ng tingin. Kung hindi pa ako kinalabit ni Kat, baka nakatanga pa rin ako.
"Okay ka lang?" Tiningnan niya ako mula ulo hanggang paa, baka chinecheck kung nagkasugat ako o ano.
"Oo, medyo masakit lang yung bagsak."
"Mag-ingat ka kasi," iling niya. "Tara na, baka hinahanap na tayo dun."
Pagkabalik namin, andun na rin yung event organizer at nagbibilin. He reminded us about the flow of the event, when we should stand by and what we should do when called.
"Ayan, sanay naman na kayong lahat ng nandito. Goodluck, talented students!"
"Thank you, sir," sagot ng ilan na nasa klase.
When the event started, all of us from the band were at the backstage. Ang wala lang ay si Kat at ate Alaine. Kasama na sila ng crowd para manood. We can actually go outside to watch the event but we decided to stay here to avoid exhausting ourselves even before we start to perform. Mahaba-haba rin kasi yung event.
"The Cinq, standby!" Sigaw ng backstage manager.
"This is it," kuya Pal said, one of the guitarists of the band. "No need for long goodlucks, y'all know what to do."
"Oo naman!" Sagot ni kuya Mikee.
"Pa'no Kaycee, wag kang kakabahan ha? Alalahanin mo lang yung laging sinasabi ng kuya mo. We believe in you."
"Thanks, kuya Pal," I answered. "Goodluck din sa inyo!"
"Okay, game! Let's do this!"
Pagkalabas namin, sigawan agad ng crowd ang bumungad sa'min. Another band was still performing their last song when we went out. The crowd is singing along with them. They're so hyped up. Nakahahawa yung mga ngiti nila.
"Alright, alright! That was one hell of a performance! Thank you for that, Band X!" The host took over the stage. "May energy pa ba kayo? Do you want more?"
"MOREEEEEE!"
"Ga'no karami ang more?"
"LIMANG KANTAAA!"
"PIPTI!"
"WAN TAWSAND!"
"WANTU SAWAAAA!"
"BASTA PO MARAMIII!"
"BIGYAN NG JACKET YAN!"
"Ay, bakit may pa-jacket? Nandito ba si kuya Wil?" Tawa ng host. Marami ring nakitawa sa kaniya. They are all hyped out. "Tingnan natin kung marami bang baon yung susunod na banda natin. Paniguradong kilalang-kilala niyo na sila."
"WAHHHH AYAN NAAA!"
"MIKEE STEP ON ME"
"GO KYLEEE"
"PAAAAL"
"EMMAN, CAN YOU BE MY MAN?"
"GO KAYCEE!"
Natawa ako nang mangibabaw yung boses ni Kat. She was the one who cheered for me. Hindi niya nakalimutan yung sinabi niya. That must be a challenge for her knowing how quiet she is as a person. Her cheer somehow lessened the nervousness I'm feeling.
"Go for it, Kaycee. All out," sabi ni kuya pagkatapik niya sakin. "Just be you while performing."
"Thank, kuya. You too."
"Mukhang hindi ko na kailangang pahabain ang pagpapakilala sa kanila. Everybody, let us welcome... The Cinq!"
"WAAAAAAHHHH"
We were all smiles when we went out. Kahit sobrang kinakabahan na ako ngayon, pinipilit ko pa ring ngumiti. The crowd kept on cheering for our names. My heart melted by how the crowd welcomed us. My heart felt warm yet my hand felt so cold.
"What's up MH Natiooon?!" I shouted. Sinubukan kong alisin lahat ng kaba ko habang sinisigaw 'yon.
"WAAAH AYAN NAAA!"
"GO THE CINQ!"
"For tonight's event, we will be performing five songs for you. Feel free to sing along with us!"
Kuya nodded at me then smiled. Emman started counting through the closed hi-hats. After four beats, kuya and the rest of the band started playing their instruments too. I faced the crowd with all smiles. Huminga ako nang malalim bago pumikit para damahin yung kanta at subukang alisin yung natitirang kaba sa'kin.
I'm standing on a bridge
I'm waitin' in the dark
I thought that you'd be here by now
There's nothing but the rain
No footsteps on the ground
I'm listening but there's no sound
Isn't anyone tryin' to find me?
Won't somebody come take me home?
I don't know what the crowd's reaction was. I just know that some of them are singing along with me. Kinakabahan pa rin ako but I'm trying to control what I feel.
It's a damn cold night
Trying to figure out this life
Won't you take me by the hand
Take me somewhere new
I don't know who you are
But I, I'm with you
I'm with you
I'm with you
I was singing with my eyes closed. When I felt myself getting relaxed, I tried to slowly open my eyes. Unti-unti nang nawala yung kaba ko lalo na nag makita yung mga ngiti sa mukha ng mga nanonood. Iginala ko yung mata ko sa kanilang lahat. I was trying to maintain eye contact with each one of them. I stopped roaming my eyes around when I saw a familiar face of a guy. He was watching me intently. His eyes were showing admiration all over. Somehow, I felt comfortable with the way he watched me.
I don't know who you are
But I...
I'm with you