TW: mentions of panic attacks and heavy breathing.
Hazels POV:
i sit down against the house as i try and focus on something.
the gentle sway of the leaves as the wind cried hopelessly.
the cold light blue water in the pool a few metres away from the back door i had left out of.
the sun setting behind the tall bruce tree i'm sitting metres away from.
i can't focus on anything.
just negative things.
i hate this dress.
i hate being here.
i hate england.
i hate everywhere.
all i want is to fit in.
i hadn't even given the boys a chance.
what if...
what if there isn't a place for me?
tears blur my vision as my breathing deepens. i lean my head back mumbling, "i want a hug." as tears make their way down my face like a waterfall.
"hazel?" someone calls from the door, looking towards where i'm sitting.
i don't respond hoping they'd just disappear.
"hazel? are you okay?"
their not going away. shit, shit, shit!
i can't just shut this off, ill have to make up an excuse.
i quickly wipe my eyes but feel myself stick to the ground. it feels as though i'm frozen, something is holding me onto the ground not letting me go.
i realise who it is walking towards me.
it's harries, wearing light turquoise shorts with a plain white shirt that has the top button undone showing a bit of his very tanned neck.
before i know it he's bent down next to me.
"are you okay?" he asks.
"mhm." i mumble trying to control my shaking.
"why are you shaking?"
"i'm just cold." i half-lie.
"well then why are you out here?" he asks seeming pretty confused.
i shrug even though he can barley see me, due to the sun setting.
he sits next to me, leaning himself up against the house.
he knows i don't want to talk, but still decides to stay. that's the type of person i want. a person who knows you don't want to talk but still continues to stay, even if you try to push them away...
they still find a way back. harries seems like that type of person.
the tree that towers over us stops swaying as the winds' cries stop. all that is heard is me breathing and the loud music playing behind us with the boys shouting and laughing.
"do you start work tomorrow?" harries asks as we look straight ahead at the tree.
"the afternoon." i mumble placing my chin in my legs. "hoppo said he'd put me with one of the boys and then one of the days i'd stay with him."
i feel him nod his head and watch as he slightly moves, pulling his tanned legs up to his chest but slightly pulling them apart and placing his hands on his kneecaps.
"do you surf often?"
"not really. i can surf. but i never did go surfing back in england."
he stays silent before asking,
"do you want a hug?"
"i told you i was fine earlier you know."
"hazel, i know i haven't known you very long. but it is quite obvious that you're not okay."
i hum under my breath, listening to what he had said but choosing to ignore him. i hope he realises he isn't going to get through to me, i barley know the guy.
he sighs heavily getting up and slowly walking off.
before he walks back into the house he turns around.
"hazel?"
"harries." i say turning towards his figure outline.
"you know you can talk to me if anything's bothering you. you can talk to any of us. we all care."
a tear slips down my cheek and like an idiot i nod my head completely forgetting he couldn't see me very well.
i make my cracked voice speak up quietly, "thank you harries."
when i hear the door shut i finally let out. my tears spilling, again, like a volcano.
i sob and sob until i couldn't no more.
until, the whole world stopped to listen, but it isn't the whole world...
it's only the trees and the wind.
because they're the only people that ever listen to your sobs.
harrison's pov:
harries approaches me from outside and smiles weakly, "am i okay to take hazel home?"
"oh, yeah, is she okay?" i ask.
"she's outside. i think she wants to go home." i start to feel bad that i had kind of just left her standing alone, i probably should've spoken to her more.
"yeah... okay."
he nods leaving me stood next to jethro, "is she settling in okay?"
"who?" i ask, looking up from the ground.
"harries." he reposes sarcastically making me realise who he's on about.
i chuckle to myself, "i think so. she doesn't really say much. she kind of just stayed in her room, then again, she was unpacking."
maxi and i are trying to be as quiet as possible when walking into the apartment. unfortunately for me, maxi is slightly tipsy so he is laughing at basically everything, weirdly enough.
"shush!" i whisper making him laugh even more. physically, i face plant my face. "go to bed."
he salutes me and sarcastically says, "yes boss."
i roll my eyes and open the fridge. i hear distant voices from the hallway making me turn my head with the fridge door open. hazel walks in with a strapped top and shorts on, which were a matching set.
"hi." she says with a small smile.
"hey." i pause, "i'm sorry."
she tilts her head and i close the fridge, turning the fancy lights on around the kitchen walls.
"for leaving you at the party. i should've spoken to you. both me and maxi."
she smiles, "it's fine! i just don't know you guys that well! don't apologise honestly."
"are you sure your okay?"
she nods smiling, "it's fine harrison. really." i still feel bad, i shouldn't have left her as it stands. why is she so nice for? have i upset her? is she really telling the truth.
"reid."
i look up from my overloading thoughts, to see her with a bright grin, "it doesn't matter."
i sigh. "okay." i still feel bad about it but if she says it doesn't matter i suppose it doesn't...
A/n:
if this makes you sad, same. the feelings are mutual. this made me sad too. 😭 i'm sorry.