TRIGGER WARNING: depression, RBD (recurrent brief depression)
THEMES: angst, sad Shoto, Shoto X Class 1A
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("Where are you going, Todoroki-kun?" Midoriya asked, looking over the back of the sofa as his friend made to leave the common room.
"To my dorm. I'm not feeling too good so I'll try sleeping it off." Shoto explained numbly as he began to ascend the stairs.
"Goodnight!" the greenete called after him, a frown appearing on his face at the signs coming from Todoroki: not talking, little eating, blank expression...
He opened the group chat and sent a few messages, just in case.)
"Quiet." Aizawa commanded, the class immediately turning in their seats and cutting off their conversations. "Right. Before I take attendance I'm letting you all know that Todoroki won't be in class with us for the next few days. Don't bother him too much and be considerate, but I'd appreciate if a few of you kept tabs on him throughout the day."
"Yes sir!" they replied passionately.
Momo immediately took her phone out of her bag to record the lessons for Todoroki, whilst Iida created a matching set of notes to offer him after school. The class representatives wanted to make sure Todoroki didn't miss out anything important, and that he would still continue to excel at his studies.
Morning studies passed quickly, although when Midoriya turned around to talk to Todoroki at the back of the classroom he frowned at the empty chair. Momo noticed and they shared a sympathetic look. It had been a few months since Todoroki's last RBD, and it had seemed he was doing just fine. They wondered what it could be that had triggered this episode: maybe a news story about his family?
Since the end of the war, most of the class were in non-optional therapy. These sessions proved useful and helped the kids deal with their traumas whilst growing closer as a class. Due to the whole Dabi/Touya situation, there was a point in time where Todoroki couldn't even go outside, having to be transferred from the hospital to the dorms overnight once his burns healed enough.
As time went on the media found other stories to exploit and the Todorokis had some peace and quiet, but every so often something would come up about Endeavour's parenting or Touya's villainy that made Todoroki retreat into the cold, stoic person he was at the start of their first year. And even now, when he had made strong friendships and enjoyed childhood experiences some things still got him down.
("Did you know there are straws that change the flavours of milk?"
"Yeah! Which one is your favourite?" They never mocked, always encouraged him to learn things they took for granted as children.
"Strawberry."
"Me too!")
During his first episode in the middle of their second year, Aizawa (with Todoroki's permission) educated them about Recurring Brief Depression, episodes that happened frequently that left the person feeling tired, sad, or just very low. Their teacher told them to simply be there for their friend, and to ask if he wanted to talk when he opened up again; this was good in finding and removing any possible triggers for these episodes.
So now, whenever Todoroki had an episode, they knew methods that would hopefully help shorten their length. They always had food ready, blankets and cushions that he may like, and the girls even put together care packages for him. They never really knew if they were effective since Todoroki didn't always talk about his episodes, but the fact that they always disappeared from outside his door was a good sign.
The rest of the morning passed and now it was lunchtime, Class 3A heading to the cantine to enjoy as much of Lunch Rush's food as they could before quirk training in the afternoon. Iida made quick work of his teriyaki, heading back into the line to collect a double-serving of soba (courtesy of Aizawa's request) and used Engine to head over to the dorms in time to deliver it to Shoto before lunch ended. Whilst doing so, Tsu was looking through her saved videos on her mobile, sending a collection of her favourite frog care videos in hopes that Todoroki would like them.
"This one is so cute, his eyes are all big and wide it's adorable!" Uraraka smiled wide as they watched a frog pamper video. "I think Todoroki will love it."
"I hope so, kero."
Just as they were putting away their rubbish and leaving to head to the changing room's, Tsuyu's phone buzzed and they eagerly surrounded her to see the reply from their classmate.
Todoroki: thnx
"I am glad he has replied so quickly." said Iida. "I hope he will enjoy his soba."
"It's Todoroki, of course he'll love it." Midoriya stated with a grin, as they split to the different changing rooms...
After school, the class all gathered together in the common room to call Todoroki. All mushed together on the seats, sides, top, behind and floor of the main large sofa, their faces squeezed into the screen of Momo's phone as she face-called Shoto.
First dial: no answer.
Second dial: no answer.
Third-
"Hey." An incredibly tired-sounding voice called through the phone, no face visible only the ceiling.
"Hello Todoroki-kun!" "Hey Shoto!" "Hi Roki!" "Sup Icyhot."
"We're just calling to check up on you. On a scale of 1-10 how would-"
"Six." Shoto interrupted, already knowing the question since they asked it to him every time he had an episode: on a scale of 1-10 how would you rate your pain? Apparently it was off some movie about a cute, inflatable robot he had never seen.
"Right. Well, do you need anything? Snacks, books... visitors?"
Silence came from the phone, stretching a moment too long that the class shared worried looks, wondering if they overstepped or something was wrong. Then Bakugou huffed and leaned over Momo to grab the phone.
"You're allowed to ask for what you want, Icyhot!" he encouraged in his usual aggressive manner, making half the class wince and the other half laugh.
"Hm." Todoroki replied shortly, another moment before continuing quietly. "Kirishima and Bakugou."
"Of course dude, I'll be up real quick! I've totally got a new shark to show you!" Kirishima assured, grinning at the screen even though Todoroki still hadn't shown his face.
"Okay."
"Wait, what shark?" Denki asked.
"A shark plushie. Todobro loves shark plushies."
"That makes sense." Sero nodded, the class having learnt that Todoroki liked soft things, not harsh or loud if it could be helped.
"But why Bakugou?" Mina questioned, throwing a teasing grin at the blond. "He's so loud."
"Excuse me?!" Bakugou growled. "The fuck do you-"
He was cut off by Todoroki, the boy's words making him shut his mouth and head over to the kitchen swearing.
"Bakugou gives soft cuddles."
"Fuck you Icyhot! Stop being an idiot and shut up else you won't get dinner!"
Shoto let out a small huff, his version of laughter in his tired state. He mumbled something about going to sleep, so the class all said their goodbyes before he put the phone down. They remained quietly gathered for a moment, in their own thoughts before they split off to continue the afternoon. With homework, dorm chores, or hobbies to indulge in, Kirishima was able to split to Todoroki's room whilst Bakugou aggressively made some mapo tofu, using Todoroki's sister's recipe since it was damn good.
("Bakugou, I got you my sister's recipe. I will send it to you." Shoto conversed as they came back from training with the Disaster Squad.
"Don't send it, I'll just make it for dinner. You better be down by 6, got it?!" Bakugou ordered, his voice lacking its usual bite due to fatigue.
"Mhm, okay. I look forwards to it." Todoroki walked ahead of Bakugou to grab a shower, looking smug at the blond's yells to walk behind him...
"I've got stomach ache." whined Todoroki, slumped on the sofa after they had finished eating.
"You ate three servings! Don't be such a glutton next time! Urgh, stop whining and get up!" Bakugou groaned before hauling Todoroki up by his shoulders, ignoring the boy's sounds of protest yet regretting it when he slumped back down again, this time on top of him.
"What the fuck are you doing?!"
"Warm." Shoto mumbled before activating his ability to sleep anywhere, at anytime.
"Dumbass.")
"Oi, I'm coming in!"
Shoto rolled over underneath his duvet, pulling the cover down enough for his eyes to be visible. Too tired to return the greeting, he watched as Bakugou kicked open his door, kicked it shut behind him, and put a few plates and a glass on his desk. Then, he sat down by Todoroki's futon and just stared back.
"Feelin' shitty?"
Shoto's brow furrowed as he half-glared, sighing as he pulled the covers up more.
"Don't ignore me!" Bakugou yelled before clenching his jaw and continuing in a quieter register. "Can you sit up and eat? Oi, Icyhot."
Making a noise of disagreement, Shoto rolled over to face his wall before pulling the cover over his head. The food smelled good, but his stomach turned at the idea of eating. Iida had already brought him lunch, which he only ate because he felt bad his classmate missed out on valuable relaxation time to bring him food. Now, Bakugou was... Mentally groaning, he didn't know whether to tell the blond to get out of his space or ask for a hug. Fuck.
"Come on, half n' half... Oi... Urgh, fine!"
The next thing Shoto knew was his duvet being pulled back, Bakugou sliding into the futon next to him, and the warm smell of burnt sugar and firewood encompassing him.
"You get this for ten minutes then you're eating something. You can't let this sadness win, you're in charge, got it?" Bakugou grumbled out before his arms wrapped around the younger boy's waist, adding further warmth.
Turns out that ten minutes led to 40, during which Todoroki had a small nap and woke to his head resting just below Katsuki's, red eyes watching him with a thoughtful expression. Deciding not to say anything, he placed his head onto Katsuki's extended arm, fingertips playing with the hem of his black t-shirt.
"Time to eat?" asked Bakugou after a moment of quiet.
"Okay." Shoto whispered before slowly sitting up with a wince.
Bakugou grabbed the food off of the side, offering the glass of water first before telling Shoto he would have to heat the food up. Looking at the food, Shoto glanced down at his left arm before shakily placing it underneath the plate. Flashes of red and blue, smoky air and burnt skin clouded his mind for a moment, until a hand under his drew him back.
"Just a little heat." Bakugou encouraged. "Your fire."
The rest of the night was spent with Todoroki heating up his food, sometimes offering some to his friend (they were friends, Shoto was sure of it) who ranted about this or that between intervals of silence. Calm, comfortable and warm.
During his time off, the students sometimes came and often sat outside his dorm, sometimes making conversation or just wanting to make sure he was okay. Or, if he knew of their presence, that he wasn't alone. They usually talked about something they watched on TV, or anything funny that happened in class, or even any future plans to give him something to look forwards to. On the third evening Sero had decided to skip sitting outside Roki's dorm, instead heading into his own next door and putting together a small collection of manga that he thought his friend would like. Then he swung from his balcony over to Shoto's, leaving the manga with a chocolate bar and soda before knocking and swinging back.
Around an hour later Sero heard the balcony door open, and from his position in his hammock he saw Todoroki take the manga and snacks and head back inside. He knew Roki would know they were from him, and it made him feel good to help his friend, often feeling helpless with a wall separating them when he knew how down Shoto was...
Five days it took for Shoto to wake up and have enough energy to leave his bed and go to his bathroom. Denying himself a look in the mirror, he peeled off his clothes and started the shower. The water seemed to wash away the film that smothered him for the last few days, as well as make him want to go and see his friends. He knew how much they tried to help him, and even if it was slightly overwhelming sometimes, it made his room feel less suffocating.
He showered, dried, and put on a t-shirt and sweatpants, running a hand through his hair before taking several deep breaths and leaving his room. In the elevator, the further down he went the louder his classmates became. Shyness crept over him as it did every time his RBD went away, at the fact that they had seen him so weak and vulnerable, but he recalled Hound Dog saying it was okay to be weak and to take breaks, especially for someone like him who had seen and endured so much. It was nice, having an adult validate his feelings rather than push them aside.
Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, the elevator doors pinged open and he walked into the commons where his class were watching a movie together. Eyes lit up at his presence, but none made it a big deal which he appreciated. Instead, he slipped into an open space next to Denki who swung an arm around his shoulders, not rough, scarred and pierced but soft with a slight buzzing of the energy that swam under the boy's skin.
Denki grinned and welcome Todoroki, offering him some of the snacks that were spread out on the coffee table. As time went on he could feel Todobro become less tense and relax into his side, sometimes huffing at Denki's remarks at the film. He was happy their friend was back with them, and that he felt safe with them.
No matter how many times the sadness pulled Shoto away, he was always strong, resilient, and always came back to them. And they couldn't ask from him any more than that.