Chapter Song: Strawberries & Cigarettes by Troye Sivan
Michael
"Michael," Evelyn repeated slowly, my name rolling across her tongue as if she was testing it out. "I like that."
She likes my name. She likes my name.
I hate my name. There's nothing interesting about the name Michael. It's boring and basic. And not to mention the level of hatred I have for the nickname Mike. Mike sounds like a douche. Michael sounds like a slightly less douchey guy.
But I like my name when she says it.
I like her.
And now she's staring at me, completely shocked. Why is she looking at me like that? Did I say something wrong? God, I knew I was too forward.
Wait. Did I say that I liked her out loud?
Shiiiiiiiiiiit.
And then she started smiling. Her smile is so pretty. Her eyes light up and I feel...I don't know how to describe it. I just feel.
Evelyn shook her head, still smiling, and turned around to make my coffee.
Her braid was coming undone just like that first time I met her.
I'll always remember that day. Her loose braid and white top made her look like an angel. Not to mention her smile. Her beautiful, beautiful smile.
~~~
10 days ago
I was having a shit morning and my shitty coffee machine broke and the even shittier café by my apartment was closed, so the next best thing for me was a cafe 3 miles away.
And I'm the idiot who decided to walk there rather than go without coffee.
As I follow the directions on my phone, I can't help but notice how much bird shit there is on the sidewalk.
Not to mention the people walking in front of me who are moving so immensely slow. If my car battery wasn't dead then maybe I'd run over them.
Kidding.
Maybe.
I'm pissed and hungry when I open the door to the cafe. Clairo's Beachside Café? Who the fuck names their child Clairo? It's like someone couldn't decide whether to name their child Claire or whatever the hell else they were thinking of.
"Hi, welcome! How can I-" she stopped talking but I wasn't paying attention. "How can I help you?"
"I'll have a chocolate muffin."
Yes, chocolate. Maybe it'll bring me some semblance of joy. I didn't want to get a call from my brother this morning. He only calls when he's drunk or wants money. And his words always hurt. I know I shouldn't listen, but I can't help but replay every word he says over and over until I wish that I wasn't what he said I am.
Because he's right. He's right that I'm a disappointment and that I'm a heartless piece of shit.
"One more thing."
I looked up at the barista and there was something about her that just made me stop. She noticed that she had my attention and humor danced in her dark eyes.
"Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke?"
What the hell? No, I didn't fucking hear about the guy who invented the knock knock joke. Who even knows anything about that?
I'm not in the mood for this right-
"He won the "no bell" prize."
Why would he win the nobel-
Oh. That was a joke.
I deadpan at her and I see her smile. Then I smile.
Why am I smiling?
I mean that was a good joke but it wasn't that good.
"Sorry," she said into the silence. Probably because I wasn't saying anything. "That joke sucked. I just wanted to make you smile, you looked like you needed it."
Oh. Why? Was it that obvious? Knowing my RBF, it probably was, but why try and help? She doesn't even know me. I just stare at her, unable to speak.
"Your total is $2.37," she chirped.
"Here," I didn't, I couldn't, break eye contact with her as I held out a ten dollar bill.
"You're change comes out to-"
"Keep it."
Shock flashed in her eyes. "Are you sure?"
"Yes."
"May I ask why?"
"You were kind. That means something."
"Thank you. But I don't think that's the real reason. It's just because I tell good jokes."
I heard her laugh as I left. Why was her laugh so pretty? It was just so contagious and unburdened that I laughed too.
I walked out with a kind of liveliness that coffee could never give me.
~~~
She gives me my coffee and it's burning hot, but I don't care. I've been waiting for this moment. I've been trying to build up the courage to ask her for her number for ten days now and I haven't been able to. Until today.
And now her number is on the top of my cup.
I chuckle, "just like in the movies."
And. She. Smiles. Again.
Why does she keep doing that? She needs to stop or else she'll have me smiling like an idiot too.
I feel like I'm talking about her smile a lot but it's just so pretty and her eyes get so sparkly and-
Shit.
I'm so whipped. That's the only explanation I can think of. Naturally, I am not smooth. In fact, I'm the opposite. But if I'm being honest, I practiced what I said to Evelyn in the bathroom mirror to make sure I didn't sound stupid. No, that's not entirely true. I didn't just practice it in the bathroom mirror, i practiced what i wanted to say the entire car ride here. I must've looked liked a lunatic to everyone driving next to me. I just didn't want to mess anything up before we got a chance to try and build something together. And I think we could, build something I mean
It's not every day you meet someone who's the embodiment of sunshine. I don't know if she realizes it, but I see her. I know it makes me sound like a stalker, but Claro's isn't that big so I can see her from where I sit. She's unconditionally kind to every person she meets despite how rude they may be to her. When no one is in the store, she sways to whatever music is on the radio and will even do a cute little dance to an upbeat song.
Who wouldn't want a chance at building a future with someone as radiant as her?
~~~
HEYYYYYYY
Michael's POV was so much fun to write. He's all grumpy and sweet, it's so cute.
I just found out that Starbucks has white hot chocolate and my life has forever been changed.