There's something I didn't tell you about last night.
That statement was enough to rattle my own nerves.
"What is it?"
She folded her arms across her chest and averted her eyes to the ground. Now I was truly beginning to worry over what she was about to say.
"Come on, baby. What is it?" I did my best to swallow the fear out from my tone to remain comforting. "You can tell me."
"When you were gone..." she started, squeezing her eyes shut.
"What happened?"
Her eyes glossed over as she whispered, "Please don't be mad at me."
A lump formed at the back of my throat. "I won't." I desperately hoped my words would end up being true. But the way she shook with nerves in front of me, barely able to hold my gaze, caused me to think that I may have lied.
"I called him," she said softly.
Oh god.
"I don't know why I did it-"
Please tell me she didn't.
"You weren't around and I couldn't get it out of my head-"
No - please tell me this wasn't happening.
"I know it was fucking stupid of me to do-"
I didn't think I would be able to hear her utter the words out loud.
"But I couldn't open that letter."
Eyes widening at what she had said, I quickly interjected. "Wait, hold on. Who did you call?"
"My dad."
Wait. What?
She shuddered. "Saying that word sounds fucking weird out loud, doesn't it?"
"What made you want to call him?"
TJ shrugged her shoulders. "I don't know, really. I saw my mom a couple of times when you first left. She kept asking me if I had burned that letter. I told her I did even though it was right there in my bag. And then I just couldn't get it out of my head... But I didn't want to open it." Her green eyes finally found their way back to mine. "So I told Hank that I wanted to tell him on the phone that if he wanted to talk, he could come and speak to me in person. I wasn't going to read it in a letter. He could say whatever he wrote to my face."
"You said all of that to him on the phone?"
She nodded.
"And, you thought I was going to be upset because you called him?"
She nodded again, but this time, with a slight hesitation in her movement. "The last time we talked about him and the letter, things didn't go so well."
I winced at the memory. "Yeah, well, I was being a fucking idiot," I told her bluntly. "But in no way am I mad at you for doing that. Baby, I'm fucking proud of you."
"You are?"
"Of course I am. It takes a lot of courage to do what you did."
TJ stepped forward and closed the remaining distance between us by placing her lips on mine. I raised my hand to her cheek to cup her face as I kissed her back.
"Thank you," she mumbled as she pulled back.
"For what?"
"You said you don't know what you did to deserve someone like me in your life," she reiterated what I had told her last night. "That's how I feel about you."
TJ turned back to the counter and busied herself with the pancake box, a signal I had quickly learned from knowing her that meant to change the topic of conversation.
"Now, I thought I was the one that was supposed to be making you breakfast," I said as I noticed her madly whisk the ingredients in the bowl.
"You're not as good at this as me."
"It's packaged ingredients and water. How hard is that?"
TJ placed the bowl of perfectly whisked batter down on the counter next to the stove. "Apparently for you, very hard," she teased as she placed a kiss on my cheek.
Stunned by her comment, there was little time allowed for me to process my thoughts. TJ had turned on the radio and - whether it was her attention or not - distracted me by singing along quietly to the song that played. There was something different about her. I didn't want to say happier - because it wasn't like seeing her happy was a rare occurrence. The energy which radiated from her was lighter, almost more carefree. Maybe it was just a mere coincidence or maybe it was where we were that brought it out in her. Whatever the reason, I hoped it stayed. I enjoyed watching as she flowed around the kitchen, singing and dancing as if she were the only one in the room.
The two of us sat down at the table to eat. TJ began digging into her food as I filled both of our mugs with coffee, adding in the right amount of milk and sugar that I knew she liked. She told me stories of what had happened at the house while she had been around. The way she spoke about them could have fooled me into thinking she had known them for years.
The ring of my cell phone interrupted our conversation. Had it not been for who was calling, I would have put it right to voicemail.
"Hey man." I balanced the device between my ear and shoulder. "What's up?"
"I need a huge favour," Aidan said from the other end of the call. "Can you get Rory from school?"
"Yeah, for sure."
"Really? That was a lot easier than I thought."
"What time?"
"Two - I'll let her teacher know. Thanks, man! The car in the garage has a spare booster seat for her in the trunk and the address is on the fridge but TJ was there the other day, so she can point it out!" Aidan said a quick goodbye, as someone from the garage pulled his attention away with a question, and he hung up the phone.
"What was that about?"
"Looks like we have some babysitting duties this afternoon."
The rest of our morning still went as planned. After we finished eating and washed the dishes, TJ and I went for a walk around the neighbourhood. I took her to some of my favourite spots, told her about the neighbours we passed and any stories I could remember that came to mind. I worried at points that I was boring her. If I was, I'd never know by the way she appeared to hang onto my every word.
I took her to the local coffee shop. It was one of my favourite places to visit when coming home. The same pastries had been made for as long as I could remember - if such a thing could be famous, they for sure were around here.
A young woman checked us out at the cash register. I noticed the way her eyes were focused on TJ, clearly aware of who she was. TJ remained oblivious and continued to make conversation with her, asking questions about her day and school while we waited for our coffee.
"I think she was a fan," I told her as we left the shop.
"Oh, please. She was not."
I tossed my arm over her shoulder and pulled her towards my side as we continued to walk. "Face it, baby," I placed a kiss to the side of her head, "You're famous now. People recognize you."
Although we tried to keep ourselves covered during our walk - as TJ kept the hood of her sweater up, while I sported my trusty baseball cap - when it came time to pick Rory up from school, we both trusted the vehicle to keep us safe.
"TJ!" Rory squealed as I opened the back door, practically leaping out of my arms and into the car.
TJ looked over her shoulder and smiled at the kid. "Did you have a good day at school?"
"Yes! We got to paint today."
I was able to strap Rory into her booster seat and double-checked everything to ensure she was secured before closing the door. As I got back into the driver seat, Rory had dug through her entire backpack, found the piece of artwork and handed it to TJ.
She eyed the piece of paper closely. "Is it a... pink puppy?"
"Yes! I asked Daddy to get me one for Christmas!"
TJ handed the painting back and shot me a glance of concern as I started the car's engine. As long as she wasn't asking me for a pink dog, I was in the clear. I had no clue how Aidan was going to pull that off. I guessed that he hoped she would forget about it by then.
"Uncle Carter?"
I glanced up at the rearview mirror. "Yeah?"
"Can we stop for ice cream?"
"Sure. Anywhere you want to go?"
Rory pondered my question and swung her feet back and forth. "Moo-Moo's!"
"The place with the giant cow on the roof?"
"Yeah!"
"Alright, you got it," I said as I turned the car onto the main road.
For the rest of the drive, TJ continued to ask Rory questions about her day. I was surprised to hear the kid answer with such excitement. On second thought, I wasn't sure I had ever heard her speak this much to anyone. Not even to Aidan.
Parking the car out front of the shop, the three of us made our way out of the car - Rory with my help to be lifted out of her seat and onto the ground.
"Wow," TJ said as she looked up. "There really is a large cow on the roof."
Rory giggled. "It's not real, TJ!"
"It's not?" TJ faked surprise as she took the girl's hand and walked inside. "But it looks so real!"
I was relieved to see there weren't any customers in the shop. Rory tended to get overwhelmed in crowded spaces, and although she took an obvious liking to TJ, it was truly only Aidan who was able to calm her down.
TJ picked Rory up, securing the girl on her hip as she pointed out the various flavours. "Which one do you want?"
Rory whispered her choice - I guess that proved her inability to talk to those she barely knew had not been solved since I'd been away.
"Alright, so one small cotton candy swirl, one cookies and cream, and-" she turned to me.
"I'll take a strawberry, thanks."
The man nodded in response and quickly got to work, scooping all the various flavours into their respective cups. Rory, now back on the ground, had pulled TJ over to the small merchandise shelf and pointed out her favourite cow plushies to her.
I paid at the cash register and grabbed up our items from the counter. Rory continued to talk TJ's ear off about the cows as we made our way back to the car. Strapping Rory into her seat, TJ gave her the cup of multi-coloured ice cream and a spoon.
"Shit, I forgot something," TJ said right as she opened the passenger door. "Hold on. I'll be right back!"
The door slammed shut and I watched as she went back into the shop with haste.
"I like talking to TJ," Rory announced from the backseat.
"Really? You normally don't like talking to new people. What did TJ do to make you like her?"
"She's nice and pretty..." she shrugged her shoulders. "Just like a mommy would be. But, she doesn't try to replace my mommy."
Her comment took me by surprise. In all these years that Rory had been speaking, I had never heard her say anything about her birth mother. Aidan had mentioned previously that he feared the day she would start asking questions. There was no easy way to try and say a parent didn't want you. And I certainly did not envy him for having to try and find a way to sugarcoat the truth, without completely lying to the kid.
"TJ told me it's okay that I only have Daddy."
"She told you that?"
Rory nodded. "She said I'm lucky to have Daddy, and Grandma... oh yeah, and Papa too."
"Hey! What about me?"
She burst into a fit of giggles. "Don't worry Uncle Carter. She said you too. I just named the people in the house with me."
"I'm going to try and come home more. Can't miss out on my favourite niece growing up."
"Do you promise?"
"I do," I told her honestly.
"I think TJ would make a good mommy."
Well, that was an interesting tidbit of information-
"Can you have a baby girl when you and TJ get married?"
"What?"
"Boys are stinky!"
Not wanting my panicked frustration to get the best of me, I cleared my throat and took a moment to remind myself who I was speaking with. "Rory, who said anything about TJ and I getting married?"
"You and Daddy did!" she said.
"When did that happen?"
Rory wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Last night."
Daddy says Uncle Carter is going to get married to the cake.
Rory had told TJ we were talking about marrying cake when in reality, she had heard everything we had said. Specifically, how my brother thought TJ and I were going to get married within a year - six months to be exact - and Rory had heard it all. Fuck. This kid truly was too smart for her own good.
"Listen to me, your dad is a dumbass sometimes. Okay? So please don't say anything."
Rory stuck out her hand towards me. "You have to make a pinky promise for secrets," she said, extending her tiny finger.
I hooked mine around hers. "Do you... pinky promise to not say anything?"
"Pinky promise!"
I jumped in my seat as the door swung open. "Sorry about that. There's a line all of a sudden!"
"Uncle Carter said Daddy is a dumbass!"
TJ raised a brow. "What did you say that for?"
"Nothing it was just a misunderstanding," I shot the giggling kid in the back a glare before looking back towards TJ. "What did you get?"
She reached into the plastic bag and pulled out a container. "Your mom mentioned this was her favourite."
"When did that come up?"
Her brow furrowed. "Honestly, I can't remember."
"We haven't been here since the summer!" Rory chimed in.
"Oh! Right - she told me on the phone a few months ago." TJ dug her hand back into the bag and pulled out a small cow plushie. "Is this alright?" she whispered, keeping the item low to not let Rory see. "She really liked it."
I nodded. "Of course."
TJ turned to the back seat. From the reflection in the rearview mirror, the child's eyes lit up as soon as she saw it.
"Moo-moo!" Rory squealed with happiness, hugging the toy close to her chest.
"That's from me and Uncle Carter."
TJ leaned back in her seat and looked over at me. "I think she likes it."
I was only able to give her a mere nod in response, becoming far too consumed by my thoughts to form any proper words to reply with. The way she stood by my side the entire time... how she called Ma on the phone and talked to her immediately after speaking with me to update her... arriving at the house early and having my family falling in love with her... the way she was with and how she cared for Rory... Remembering Ma's favourite ice cream from a conversation months ago... buying something she noticed Rory liked... How could someone not fall in love with her when she did all those things without even a second thought?
"What is it?" TJ's voice brought me back to reality. "Do I have something on my face?"
I shook my head, unable to hide the smile that tugged at the corner of my mouth.
"Why are you looking at me like that then?"
"I don't know. Lost in thought, I guess."
I wasn't lost. I knew exactly what I was looking at.
When I looked at her, I saw my future.
parts 3 and 4 were meant to be the same chapter but then I wrote 6K...funny how that happens
moo-moos for everyone!
HAVE A GREAT WEEK MY ANGELS! <3 fingers crossed I work normal hours this week