Technoblade Pov:
...We all know the author is shit at writing fighting and love scenes, but I guess they will try?... I mean he's playing Bury the light at 1.25 speed, It gotta count? Back to me, I'm fighting a freaking bowling ball wannabe, with no sun nearby I'm just basically sitting ducks since I can't slash them with my sword-
Audience: how about you're crossbow? I mean even you're stand can attack him, right?
...Crossbow and explosions don't damage it, heck D4C is basically useless since I need to get him out and just to summoned a parallel version to kill him since vampires can't do anything about it unless you're Rasputin, a plot armor like Hitler had(dude has bigger plot armor than the orphanage), or golden finger in Wuxia stories then you might survive.
...Back to my problem, summoning parallel us can help sure, and they're powerful, but here's a thing we can't attack it if it's in a rolling ball, it basically destroys anything it contacts... Ugh what an annoying problem this is if only we had something that could kill the rolling ball.
Genesis: what about Excalibur Morgan, or Use EA? I heard Ea forced you to buy their DLC just to use 1% of the weapon's power.
...I'm still trying to comprehend how it works and not accidentally burned myself and who the fuck thought Ea games was the best at recreating a hollowed copy of Ea?
Author: it was a meme created by other people... and that shit happened in an AU, heck a meme lord was using it in front of the Blizzard Corporation and Bezos owned that company.
I don't think the readers need to know what type of drugs you took to be this high.
Author: easy... I haven't slept properly for the whole 2-3 weeks, grinding in FGO, making my favorite Lancer reach lv. 70, reading too much Wattpad, ...and Memes.
How do you even move with so many problems? on second thought don't answer that, I'll end this here. *dodges out of the way from the bowling man* Sheesh why can't they just stop rolling a freaking ball.
Author: dunno, and DODGE.
Techno: EHH?! *looks back and sees a freaking ball about to hit him by a few meters and dodges it by a meter.*
Author: Americans want to have word with you
*Cough* I mean the American metric system... what type of system do they use?
Author: ...I'm not american but aren't you supposed to be american?
I dropped out of college, and was an english major not a math person.
Author: yeah with you're legend being that you're smart but not great at solving problems.
Mutt: tsk O didn't hit him, huh? *His body was turning into cubes while fusing with a alternate version of himself.*
Author: ...that was slow as fuck and not a great scene.
... shut you're mouth, author, you have forget this exist.
Author: ...true
Gil: that wasn't entertaining.
Techno: ...why don't you write a fanfic bastard?
Gil: fine then I will.
Achievement Unlocked: GILGAMESH THE FANFIC WRITER
Enkidu: ...*have WTF face* am I in a fever dream or something?
Techno: wait Gil, that was a joke, I didn't mean it. I mean I could see you write a fanfic where Saber(Baeber), had married you, have children, then grandchildren, then become old man gilgamesh. Pfft- *Get's hit by a sword in the pace where sun ton't shine* ...AAAAHHHHH-
Outer Realms:
Cthulhu: *gibberish eldritch noises*you suck at mario kart nyatholep.
Nyatholep: *gibberish eldritch noises*...you suck in uno thou.
Techno: ...AAAAHHHHH-
Cthulhu: *gibberish eldritch noises*...that gotta hurt
World of the dead:
Every undead felt the scream of pain... It made them shudder in horror.
Somewhere in [REDACTED]
A loud laughter of a lizard was heard from hearing the scream of pain.
Local Library
A man felt a phantom pain... Nothing can't be fixed by flex tape the 2nd... Totally brand new and ain't the cheap one.
Back to Techno:
Techno: *dies*
Gil: ...wait, it killed him. Oh crap what should I say to Mrs. Hiragi if she saw how Techno's condition are.
Techno: the power of the bell, has thou summoned me?
Gil: how are you still alive?
Techno: I died, but I lived with my trustee totem of undying.
Gil: ...*Sigh* and here I thought it killed you.
Techno: Pfft- I have the power of slaying orphans in my side, I can't die from a 28 stab wounds.
Gil: let's test that theory.
Techno: fine then.
Author's note:
...I forgot this story exist, speedrun the fucking final singularity in fgo, got my ass kicked multiple times, and some memes I screenshot. Have a nice day.