Amelia leans in the archway between the living room and dining room watching Jax play with Scout. He's somehow managed to get full on giggles, something Scout doesn't give often. She can't help but giggle along, too, happy to see her son so happy.
Enora pushes the door open. "We're hoooome." She calls.
Jax picks Scout up and hands him to Amelia. "He is awesome." He says as he hands him back before going to Enora. He kisses her gently. "I missed you."
"I was gone 20 minutes. I'd have been quicker is someone didn't have to run back for his coat." She playfully rolls her eyes at Bailey as he drops his bag.
"Not me." He smiles.
Enora laughs. "Yeah yeah. Alrighty. Guys, this is Jackson. Jackson, meet booger breath, poo face and smelly sausage." She points to Zola, Bailey and then Ellis.
Ellis giggles. "I am smelly sausage, nice to meet you." She curtseys.
Jax smiles and kneels down. "Nice to meet you, Miss Sausage." He playfully bows.
Ellis curtseys again before running to grab a snack. Bailey is uninterested and heads to the TV but Zola looks at Jax with narrow eyes. He raises an eyebrow as he stands. "Miss Booger Breath, I extend an olive brach to you and raise that we rename you Miss Sassy Pants."
Zola cracks and giggles. "Nuh! Norry is sassy - oh no I change my mind. Shes-"
"Miss Stubborn Pants." Jax says at the same time as Zola. "I totally agree."
Zola grins. "I think I like you Jackson. Only a little, my dad wouldn't be so easy so I wont." She skips away.
Jax smiles. "They're cute. That went well." He muses as he wraps an arm around her. "She talks more openly about your dad than you."
Enora shrugs small and looks over at the one and only picture they all got together after Bailey was born, Derek proudly holding him with Mer in the hospital bed and Enora and Zola stood beside it. "She is... I think it helps keep the memories fresh for her. Ellis and Bailey don't really remember him but Zozo can't tell what's real and what isn't sometimes." She sighs picking the picture up.
"What was your dad like?" He rubs her shoulders and kisses her head, stood behind her.
"Funny. Stubborn. Strict." She smiles as she touches the picture gently. "He did whatever he needed to make sure I was safe and happy even if it meant he missed out. When he left my birth mom, we had nothing. We restarted. I spent the first week here sat in the hospital waiting room because he had to work and I had nowhere else to go."
He smiles small. "That's how you learned the layout of the hospital so quickly huh? I get lost going from the bed to the bathroom but you could walk around with your eyes closed."
Enors giggles and nods. She puts the picture back. "We raced once. First to go to each floor, check in at each nurses station and be back at the lobby got to choose what we had for dinner that day. I won."
"Pizza and shakes?" He guesses.
"Absolutely!" She grins. "We were... we were fighting when he died. I never got to show him I didn't mean anything I said." She whispers.
"He knows. Trust me." Jax wraps his arms around her. This is the most she's opened up at Derek. Other than some odd comments he knows nothing of the man. Her uncle Mark? He knows it all. Her father? Nothing.
Amelia comes out. "Why are you guys standing there? Cmon. Zozo is putting on a show!" She smirks.
"I demand front row!" Jax yells as he rushes in.
Nora gasps. "I'll fight you for it!"
Amelia smiles and goes to the kitchen to clear up some before Meredith gets home. She keeps looking through to see what they're up to and she can't help but think of how she severely misjudged Jax. She let her own experiences cloud her judgement, forgetting that many addicts aren't violent or cruel or dangerous. Some are just... trying their best. Like her and Enora, Richard and now Jax.
When Meredith and Kai arrive from the airport at about 8, the kids and Nora are all crashed on the couch. Jax is sat with Zola's head in his lap, one arm stretched across Zola to hold Ellis' hand and Nor against his other arm. He's content, though.
Mer raises an eyebrow. "Meeting went well huh?" She whispers.
Jax smiles. "Your kids are awesome, Mer. Zozo has already planned the wedding for us."
"I know." She winks. "Do you need a hand?" She offers.
"I'm good here." He nods giving a genuine smile as he looks at the girls around him.
Kai smirks. "He's totally fallen for everything." They say quietly to Mer.
"How can you not?" She smiles. She sees Kai, Amelia and Scout out before taking Bailey carefully up to bed. She manages to pull Ellis hand free from Jacksons with his help and then she comes back for Zola.
"I got her." Jax offers, gently pulling his arm away from Enora. He makes sure she's set and still asleep before he scoops Zola up.
"You should be careful." Meredith say as she follows him up. Once Zola is in bed, she tucks her up and kisses her head, quietly leaving.
Jax is looking up at a picture of Mer and Derek. "He looks just like her."
Mer crosses her arms as she leans on the wall opposite the photo. "I always said that but they both disagreed very strong." She smiles a little at the memory. "Do you know much about him?"
Jax shakes his head and looks over. "I can tell its hard... she sort of shuts down at the mention of him and I can tell it hurts - I don't like hurting her." He frowns a little at the idea.
Mer motions him to follow, heading into the diningroom; they sit at the table as she grabs some photo albums. "Derek and Enora were a package deal from the start." She says as he begins to look through. "I slept with Derek before I knew he was my boss. Imaging turning up to your first day of work to see the guy you kicked out of your house the same morning."
Jax laughs. "I'd rather die."
"Trust me, I wanted to." Mer grins. "I didn't even know he had a kid for a while. He was so protective of her and even though he said he knew I was the one, he didn't want to risk it. She was a challenging kid at times but I don't think she truly meant any of it... her whole life had been traumatic and coming here was no relief."
Jax looks at the pictures of young Enora. "She has the same smile in most photos... and then she's not in the rest?" He looks at Mer, confused.
Mer sighs as she gazes at the photos. "When she was 13 there was an... incident at the hospital. And it tipped her over the edge. She became too much to handle at times. We couldn't send her to Addison, her mom, because she'd threaten to hurt herself - if there's anyone Enora hates then it would be her mother. Even more than she used to hate me." Mer shakes her head as she continues. "As she became a proper teenager it became harder to get through to her. She was 14 when she first overdosed and it almost killed Derek. I'd never seen him cry. She regularly insulted him, hit him, blamed him and he just... took it all. Because he blamed himself too. When she was 17 he got a very prestigious job in DC working for the president - yeah, it was wild."
Jax shakes his head, his face shocked. "I didn't realise he was that good."
"He was." Mer smiles as she plays with her rings. "A few days before he passed they really blew up. He had had enough of it all, he couldn't stand seeing her in such a poor state all the time. We'd done everything to help but she always found a way to get high. She told him he was the worst thing to ever happen to her... and he agreed. He told her he wished she'd just get gone. Let the drugs take her. She smirked and told him she wished he'd died the day he was shot - that was the last time she was ever the Nor we knew and loved." Mers voice is quiet.
Jax is frowning deeply. "That's..." He's speechless as he frowns at the photos.
"When I got the call about Derek, I didn't know where she was. He never wanted to be on life support and he was classed as brain dead so I did what he'd have wanted and... and pulled the plug." Mer sighs. "I had to tell her what had happened. What I did. She lost it. She trashed the house, she threatened me with a knife and asked if I'd like to join him. Then she ODed again the day before the funeral. And I couldn't take it any longer so I left. Derek wouldn't have wanted that but I'm sure he didn't blame me. Plus I had Ellis to think about - I was pregnant with her. I can't believe she's almost 7 these days... means it's been 6 years since Derek left us."
"I'm so sorry you went through all that." Jax finally says. "You and Enora seem to be on good terms now, no?"
"She's grown up a lot." She nods. "As have I. Before I knew how sick she was, I'd told Maggie to let her die. I regret it everyday."
Enora heard everything. Meredith wanted her dead? Was she that bad...? Of course she was. She did threaten to kill Meredith. She stole money from her and her dad. She shot up in the same bathroom they used. And she was never careful. Thr guilt creeps into her mind and she quietly grabs her bag, sneaking to the door.
Jax hears it close. "Nor...?" He calls, getting up and going to the livingroom. "Enora?" He calls out, looking around.
Meredith comes in. "Where is she?"
Jax rushes to the door and throws it open, watching the car disappear. "Dammit!" He cusses, grabbing his jacket.
Merediths eyes are wide. "She heard... she shouldn't have heard that, I don't mean it!" She covers her mouth.
"Im borrowing your car - text me thr addresses of any of her old hangouts." He orders, rushing out. Please don't do something stupid...
○▪︎□▪︎○
Jackson grips the steering wheel tightly as he pulls up at another crack house. There are this many in just the area around Merediths house? It's insane. It's the third one he's tried; Kai, Maggie and Hayes are out checking a few others as well as some dodgy bars and known hangouts.
He marches inside andnlooks around. The place is a mess and barely anyone is there. Still, he begins to search room by room with growing frustration. In the garden there seems to be more people, some old furniture surrounding a fire with music pumping from a shitty speaker.
"Watch were you're going!" One wasted dude snaps.
Jax tries to remain calm. "You walked into me." He snaps, glaring. Is this how he was? Did he look this bad? He goes to walk past but suddenly falls down, his jaw throbbing. "You moth-" He launches himself at the guy, both swinging fists. The dude has a chunky ring on but Jax barely notices the impact.
They're eventually pulled apart and Jackson snarls. "Watch yourself." He snaps, shrugging his jacket back on properly. He storms away and looks around the garden area, instantly rushing over. "Nor!" She's laid half conscious on a damp, faded red couch, the tourniquet on her arm but no track marks. He kneels by her and strokes her hair back, his other hand pulling the tourniquet off. "Nor? Enora, it's me, look at me."
Her eyes open a little and she whines. "No." She moans. He can smell the whiskey on her breath - hopefully she's just very drunk.
"No? No what darling?" He strokes her hair back.
"Bad wife. Bad." She slurs, hiccuping.
Jax shakes his head and helps her sit up, supporting her head by holding her cheek. "Look at me." He demands. He taps her cheek gently when she doesn't. "Hey!" Her eyes lazily find his. "You're not a bad wife. You know very well Meredith didn't mean it okay? But that doesn't make the hurt any less. It's okay." He promises. "What were you going to use?"
Enora waves her hand to the couch and Jax looks up to see a syringe full of the caramel coloured liquid. He throws it down as he stands, stomping his boot against it, extremely satisfied and proud for resisting it himself. "Arms." He taps her arms for her to lift them but she doesn't. He huffs and braces himself to throw her over his shoulder - carrying Zola was one thing but this'll be different. Not that she's heavy but he's still recovering from having his chest split in half.
With a deep breath he throws her over his shoulder and hoists her up; she hangs over him limply and it helps that she doesn't fight. He walks quickly to the car and lays her across the back seat, rubbing his chest for a second, not wanting to really acknowledge how much that strained and hurt his incision.
He climbs in the drivers seat and pushes random buttons on the fancy console until he hears Meredith. "Where is she, have you got her!?" She gushes, fear evident in her voice. It 2 am, its been 5 hours, and she is scared despite this being a feeling she's experienced many times.
"I got her." He says, reaching over to keep a hand on her chest as a way of assuring himself she's there. He grips the wheel in his other hand. "Meet me at the house." He orders, speeding through the city. He makes it home and braces again, carrying Enora to the elevator. He squeezes his eyes shut as he has to stand holding Enora while they're in the elevator but he quickly rushes in and lays her on the bed. He kisses her head and grabs a bucket for her before checking her over. Definitely no track marks.
There's suddenly banging on the door and he rushes to get it, throwing it open. Meredith rushes past him and straight to Enora. Hayes is, however, paying attention and notices the busted eyebrow and cut cheek. "Are you okay?" He turns Jax's face.
"I don't matter." He mutters, rubbing his chest again.
Hayes frowns. "How did you-" his eyes widen as he realises. "You carried her?" Jax nods once. "Jesus, dude, you're 3 weeks post op. Your chest is still in two separate pieces. Sit down, I'll be back." He orders, rushing down the stairs.
Jax doesn't sit. He goes straight to Mer who's sat beside Enora stroking her hair back. "Is she okay?" His voice shakes.
Mer doesn't look away. "Drunk. But she's okay."
Jax puffs air out of his cheeks as his eyes well, his hands going behind his head. "Jesus christ!" He gasps. "Is this how it feels every time!?" He demands.
Meredith nods small, wiping her cheeks. "Everytime. Thanks to you we found her fast - we once went 4 days with no idea where she was." She sniffs and looks over. "Oh my-"
"Hayes is sorting it." Jax mutters, wiping the back of his hand across his cheeks.
Meredith goes to the bathroom and grabs a cloth, wetting it. She goes out and pulls Jax to the couch, dabbing at the cuts. "Let it out."
Jax begins to sob hard, his head in his hands. He's never felt fear like this. He's never been so scared of anything. How can a girl he met 2 months ago, and married 4 weeks ago, be someone he feels so deeply about already? It's like Meredith said - he knows they're meant to be together.
Hayes comes in with a supply bag. "How's his heart rate?"
Meredith places two fingers on Jaxs throat. "What you'd expect." She looks over. "Bit extreme no?" She tries to joke about the supply bag.
"Two sons, Mer." He reminds her with a quick smile. The smile she adores.
Between them, they suture the cuts on Jaxs face and keep an eye on Nor, just incase she did take anything or chokes on her own vomit. It's about 6am when Hayes convinces Meredith they need to go, at least to get ready for work. They can stop by on their way.
"Make her drink lots." Hayes says as he follows Mer out.
Jax nods once and closes the door, swallowing the lump in his throat as he slowly heads to the bedroom. This feeling? He's going to do his damn best to never feel it again. He vows then and there to never do drugs again if that's how he looks and what he puts people through. He would hate his existence if he hurt Enora that way.