(Y/n) POV:
It has been a week since the training disaster, and that was really the only word for it. The team has barely spoken to one another. We are being forced through therapy conducted by Black Canary, I'm still struggling to believe the whole thing. Could M'gann really be that powerful? Powerful enough to rip control away from Manhunter? I mean what else don't we know about her?
The team gathered in the kitchen, awaiting our therapy session with Black Canary. Everyone was spread out throughout the kitchen, we couldn't even bring ourselves to look at one another.
I was the only one on the team who did anything related to work, I don't think I need to talk to Canary. I was the first one to die in our simulation so I missed out on all the trauma of watching everyone die.
I started by looking through old SHD files and reports of criminal activity on my laptop. I wasn't really looking for anything, I just wanted to keep my mind from thinking about the simulation and the depressed team.
I shuffled papers around for the third time in a minute while I waited for a file to load, me making the only sound in the room must have angered Wally who was unusually tense after his meeting with Canary.
Wally: "WOULD YOU GIVE IT A BREAK ALREADY!"
I just stared at Wally with an annoyed look on my face. He's sweating and looks like he's on the verge of a panic attack.
Wally: "You've been doing the same thing over and over again for the past week and haven't said a word!"
(Y/n): "Neither has anyone else..."
Wally: "Well you could talk to us about it, see how we handled your "death"! I mean the team was traumatized! You're our friend and you're showing zero emotion that you died!"
(Y/n): "Wally, it wasn't real! Not to mention I'm really trying not to think about it. It makes it easier."
Canary: "No, it doesn't."
Canary was standing in the doorway behind my back so I have no idea how long she was listening to Wally and I but I imagine she heard most of it.
Canary: "(Y/n) it's time..."
(Y/n): "Let's get this over with."
I stood up and walked past Wally hitting his shoulder on the way by. Canary led me to a room just off the library. It was a nice private reading area that I hadn't spent much time in before. There are two nice chairs positioned across from one another and Canary motioned for me to take a seat.
Canary: "Wally is right."
Oh great, here we go just what I want. I don't even need to be here. I was the first one to die and missed out on all the fun of watching everyone I care about die.
(Y/n): "I died in this simulation. I was in a coma for most of it. I missed out on all the joy of the trauma."
Canary: "Maybe, but think about what they went through. Batman told me you don't have a family, that your entire world revolves around that watch. Now you finally get to experience a family, and they come to care about you. Then you die, vaporized in front of them, in front of everyone who cares about you."
I still can't even imagine what they went through but I have no idea how to even open up to them.
(Y/n): "How am I even supposed to open up to them about that. I can't even imagine what they went through. Not only did they watch me die, but they watched one another fall in battle after you, the Justice League, died fighting the same enemy. As they died they thought they failed, they thought you failed. You guys are the most powerful organization on the planet and the Team died thinking they let you down, that they failed you. How am I supposed to relate to that and get them to open up to me."
Canary didn't have an answer. At least not at first. The silence felt like it would drag on forever. I might as well reveal everything that's been bothering me. Over the past few minutes I've taken notice about how much power the Justice League really has, should the Division actually be activated and needed to help protect people or save the earth. There's not a really good chance that we'd be able to. Our weapons are ineffective against targets like the aliens in the simulation, the weapons that are effective aren't nearly in enough quantity or small enough to have the mobility we would need.
(Y/n): "How would you feel if you knew the next time the Justice League was needed... you wouldn't be able to do your job, to save the world, that you'd all fail."
Canary: "I don't know and I know there's nothing we can do right now to change that feeling... but your friends, they are all alive and they need you. Talk to them, you will all get through this together."
(Y/n): "Yeah, well they haven't exactly been willing to talk."
Canary: "Maybe, but you haven't tried."
(Y/n): "...who should I start with? How should I start? How do I begin to even understand what they went through?"
Canary: "Start with Zatanna, you comforted her in the cave after she witnessed her fathers death. I'm not asking you to do my job and help them through their trauma, but you need to talk to them. They are your friends and they will open up to you. Maybe, they will even find it a little easier than opening up to me."
(Y/n): "Alright, I'll give it a shot."
Canary: "You can also start by talking with Wally, and send Zatanna back when you leave, it's her turn.
I nodded my head and left. Canary's words ringing in my head 'just talk to them'. Yeah, I can do that... right?
Zatanna POV:
I sat in the kitchen with the team, we still haven't moved or said anything since (Y/n) left. I told my dad about what happened, he already knew before I got to see him. I guess Batman must have told him, it was probably better coming from him. I did tell him about how I reacted to (Y/n)'s "death" and how (Y/n) helped me after I thought he died. He took it rather well, he asked if (Y/n) knew but I don't think he does. The team hasn't really talked to one another since the exercise and I don't think any of the League's members who oversaw the exercise would tell him.
(Flashback to Zatanna's conversation with her dad)
Zatara: "How is (Y/n) handling it?"
Zatanna: "I don't know, I haven't spoken to him about it, or at all. The Team hasn't really been talking since it happened."
Zatara: "Just try to open up, they care about you. If you don't think you can do it, you can always talk to me, I will always be here for you."
Zatanna: "Alright..."
Zatara: "Zatanna, if you don't want to be on the Team anymore just say so. You won't be disappointing me or anyone else, and I will never force you to do something you don't want to."
Zatanna: "Ok dad, I don't know right now, but thanks..."
(Back to present)
I got up off the couch and moved to the table where (Y/n) sat. His papers were sprawled out across the table and the laptop was still open. I started looking through the papers and the intel on the laptop. They were all old information or reports that had already been given to the Justice League.
Wally: "Are you sure you should be looking through his stuff? I mean what if it's classified or whatever? You don't want to get in trouble?"
Zatanna: "Classified? It's all old information, stuff he went over before the exercise. Why would he be looking at it now?"
(Y/n): "To avoid talking."
I spun around and (Y/n) was in the doorway my back faced. I panicked and stuttered out an apology.
Zatanna: "I-I'm so s-sorry...l shouldn't have looked through y-your stuff like that I just.."
He smiled slightly and I could feel my face flush red. How is he so cute?!
(Y/n): "It's alright, really it is. Also, I'm the one who should be sorry to all of you. I've been pushing what happened away as if it was nothing and just went back to work. I realize that I didn't experience the trauma you all went through after my "death" and I should have talked to you guys sooner. But, if you need or feel like talking about it to someone other than Canary... I'm here."
(Y/n) then sat down on the chair beside me as Wally stood and walked over to (Y/n) and put his hand on his (Y/n)'s shoulder.
Wally: "Hey, I'm sorry for getting mad earlier, I was just frustrated.
(Y/n): "It's alright... Oh, Zatanna, Canary wants you to head back."
Zatanna: "Alright... see you guys soon."
I walked into the little "therapy room" that was set up just off of the library. Black Canary was waiting rather patiently with a concerned look on her face. She turned to face me when the automatic door closed.
Canary: "Zatanna, please come take a seat."
I did as she asked and Canary waited for me to get comfortable before starting.
Canary: "How are you feeling today? Has the team started talking?"
Zatanna: "I'm fine...(Y/n) just started talking after he caught me looking through his documents and intel on his laptop. He didn't seem to care about that and I just wanted to know what he was doing. He was the only one doing any sort of work over the past few days."
Canary: "I thought Batman stopped sharing information and intelligence with the Team until you all completed the therapy sessions?"
Zatanna: "He did... (Y/n) was looking through old intel not really sure what for though..."
Canary: "Speaking of (Y/n)... do you want to talk about what happened."
Zatanna: "I'm fine. I talked with my dad I'm... I'm over it."
Canary: "You don't want to talk about your extreme reaction to (Y/n)'s "death"? Have you told (Y/N)?"
Zatanna: "No I-I haven't."
Canary: "What about leaving the team? I spoke to Zatara earlier, he mentioned you were considering it? You don't have to make a decision now, or if you can't bring yourself to tell them we can always do it for you."
Zatanna: "No you can't... Please don't! I...I don't know. I can't leave the team, they're my friends but l don't know if I can handle constant loss like what we experienced."
Canary: "The situation you experienced was designed to do that. To make you adapt in the face of failure and loss. But you need to make a decision regarding the Team. Talk to them, or whoever you're comfortable talking to."
Zatanna: "Ok..."
(Y/n) POV:
The team had dispersed after dinner. I went back to my room and cleaned it up. Not that it was very dirty but I just didn't feel like doing much of anything. The team began talking again after the conversation Wally and I had in front of everyone. It wasn't much and it didn't last very long but at least it was a start. It almost looked like we were back to normal.
Zatanna was offly quiet though, she looked like she had something troubling her and had been like that since her time with Canary earlier. I didn't ask her about it, maybe I should have but she would probably want to keep it between herself and Canary.
I finished cleaning my room and sat at my workbench. I decided to take apart the ISAC brick and clean it. There was nothing wrong with it but I'm not ready to sleep, I just need to keep my mind busy. About half way through the cleaning I heard a knock at the door. It's 11:30 who could that be?
(Y/n) : "It's open."
The door slowly slid open and Zatanna cautiously walked in. She had the same troubled look on her face but this time a hint of something else was present. Is she nervous? Her body language suggested that she was incredibly nervous. I stood up from my workbench and turned to face her.
Zatanna: "Hey... can we talk."
(Y/n): "Of course, are you alright?"
Zatanna: "Yeah I... just wanted to talk about a few things."
(Y/n): "Do you want to go someplace to talk about it, we don't have to do it here."
Zatanna: "No no, this is fine."
Zatanna walked over and sat on the edge of my bed. I pulled the chair from my workbench around so it faced her and sat down.
(Y/n): "What did you want to talk about?"
Zatanna: "The exercise... My dad said I could leave the team but I really don't want to... it's just that, I don't know if I can handle the type of stress that comes with being here. On the team I mean. We could lose everyone in a matter of minutes... how are we supposed to live with that?"
Zatanna was looking at the floor and had a death grip on the comforter of my bed. She was desperately trying to steady her voice and though I couldn't see her face I suspect she's on the verge of tears.
(Y/n): "Zatanna... that's life, the next day isn't a guarantee. I get it's not fair and honestly the simulation was a bad idea from the start but losing people is just life. No matter what you do or where you are there's always a chance bad things can happen. It's what you do and who you do it with that makes life amazing and worth living. I really hope you stay with the team Zee. We love having you around."
ZEE! What am I thinking?! Why did I call her that? Oh no what have I done?!
Zatanna looked up at me and smiled at the nickname, the concerned look slowly disappeared from her face and that couldn't make me happier. I smiled back as she looked up at me. We made eye contact briefly before she turned away. Was she blushing? I couldn't tell she moved her hair to shield her face.
Zatanna: "T-there's something else I wanted to talk about. W-when you d-died in the exercise... l-I thought you were gone..."
She could barely stutter out the words. I felt so bad, I didn't realize the extent of what she'd gone through, my "death" must have really hit her hard.
(Y/n): "Hey it's alright, I'm here just tell me."
Zatanna: "No you weren't. That's the problem, (Y/n)... you died and I-I didn't get to say g-goodbye... or... or tell you..."
Zatanna now had a death grip on the bedsheet, as tears started to run down her cheeks with a few falling into her lap. She looked up at me as I stood up and walked over to her. Tears streamed down her cheeks and her face was red. I grabbed her hand and pulled her up off my bed and into a hug.
Zatanna embraced me instantly and started sobbing, she buried her face in my neck. I held her tightly, as tightly as I could. I was just hoping I could help take her pain away.
I could feel her breathing start to increase. She drew in shallow frantic breaths of air as I held her. After a while it subsided and Zatanna slowly calmed her breathing down, her tears at this point stained my shirt, I could feel them soaking through the fabric. I didn't care, I was just happy to hold her and help her.
(Y/n): "It's ok Zatanna, I'm not going anywhere, I'm not going to die."
Zatanna's sobbing slowly subsided. I held her for quite a long time, a while after she stopped sobbing the tears slowly stopped. Once her breathing returned to a normal level I slowly started to let go. She felt my hold loosen and refused to accept it, gripping the back of my shirt even tighter than she already was and pushed her chest against mine as hard as she could.
Zatanna: "No..."
She squeezed me tighter, her hands that had wrapped around my back moved up to just below my shoulder blades. I accepted that she wasn't ready to let go and returned to the embrace again. I lost track of time holding her, not that it mattered. I enjoyed spending time with Zatanna. Well, enjoying spending time was an understatement. I like her a lot.
I felt Zatanna's grip on my back begin to loosen. I slowly let her go as well and she accepted it this time, letting me go and moving away.
Zatanna: "Thank you (Y/n), I'm going to get some sleep now. Goodnight."
(Y/n): "Goodnight Zatanna."
Zatanna: "Oh, I love the nickname."
Zatanna walked out of my room with a smile on her face as I laughed in relief that she liked it. I glanced at the clock, 12:37? Wow it didn't feel like an hour at all. I probably should go to bed but I want something to eat and drink.
I made my way to the kitchen, the caves lights had mostly turned off for the night with a few remaining on but dimmed to give out a night feeling. Once I got into the kitchen I began making myself a sandwich and got a glass out for water.
Dick: "You're up late."
Dick made me jump and almost drop the glass I got out. I didn't even hear him come up to me
(Y/n): "Do you have to sneak up on me like that!"
Dick: "Yeah I do and what are you doing up anyway?"
Dicks joking attitude caused me to roll my eyes before I turned my attention back to my food.
(Y/n): "Well I'm hungry so I'm getting food, what are you doing up this late?"
Dick: "I just got back from patrol in Gotham. I just called it a night a little earlier than normal."
Dick had now taken notice of the tear stains on my shirt as well as the wrinkles caused by Zatanna gripping it while we hugged.
Dick: "So Zatanna stopped by I see."
(Y/n): "What?! How did you..."
Dick: "I was trained by the world's greatest detective. Also the way she reacted to your "death" made it kinda obvious she has feelings for you."
I stood there completely speechless. My silence cued Dick in.
Dick: "Oh come on (Y/n), she came to your room in the middle of the night to tell you about what was bothering her and you comforted her. Which is exactly what she wanted."
I thought she might have done that for a reason but I wasn't entirely sure. I still am not entirely sure.
(Y/n): "Look, just keep this between us alright. I don't want everyone knowing about this, it will just make things awkward."
Dick: "Yeah sure I'm not telling anyone especially in the League, but some people on the Team may already suspect you two. I mean everyone saw how Zatanna reacted to your death."
(Y/n): "Thanks, Dick. Goodnight."
Dick: "Goodnight, (Y/n)."
I took my food and water back to my roommate and ate at my workbench. I cleaned up and went to bed immediately after, Zatanna's smile was the last thing I saw before drifting to sleep.