Your phone ding indicating that you got a text message. You saw one of them is from your bestfriend, Tammy. She told you to go check your Whatsapp from Sarah, who is one of your classmate in highschool. You without any second thought go check it out to see that she send a photo, showing her wedding card that will held next week on Saturday. The most shocking part is the man she is marrying someone you use to be close and love very much.
You stared at her wedding card as memories start to float back in your mind. Tears start to form in your eyes then suddenly your front door open, revealing Tammy now standing infront of you with sympathy on her expression.
"Y/n" she softly said your name.
"Tammy!" You said her name as your tears running down your check and began to cry louder.
Tammy pulled you in her embrace and hug you tightly. She know how your past with him and she feel so hurt to see that your breaking apart again because of him.
"Just let it all out" she whisper that a made you cried harder.
-15 years ago-
You were a new form 2 student that just transfer from Kuala Lumpur to Selangor. The teacher introduce you to your new classmate and asked you to go sit beside a tall guy, with tan skin and have a monolid eyes that look a bit intimidated. You gulp and brave yourself to take a sit beside him. You greeted him with a hi and to your surprised he treated you back with a friendly tone.
Since then, you and him have gotten closer. You two were inseparable and where you go he will always be there beside you. People always assume you two are dating but in your point of view you just thought of him as a best friend.
The day come for the form 3 student to go to a field trip to a museum (I actually don't really know museum in Selangor area so just thought of any museum there or near that area ^_^).
"Dhir, Look!! It's you" you point at one of the statue.
"Hahaha funny. Look here...that's you" he point at the ant and flick it off the wall.
"Hey!! That's mean!" You pout.
"Uuuuu...is my baby y/n offended...too bad, you started it first" he made a sad eyes before changing into a smirk.
"Tammy!!! Nadhir is being a bully!!" You run after her.
"You started it, y/n. Now behave or Ms Nurul will scolded us" she shush you and asked you to focus the class filed trip.
"Serve you right" Nadhir teasingly whisper you that made him earn a slap on his shoulder.
"Ow!!" He loudly said in pain.
Ms Nurul actually noticed yours and Nadhir little quarrel so she called out both of your name that gain everyone attention.
"Nadhir! Y/n! Stop playing around and pay attention for once" Ms Nurul scolded you both.
"We're sorry, Teacher" you both apologize to her.
"Alright let me explain it again. I will split into 2 group and each group will have to jot down the history within this museum and submit it to me by the end of this field trip. Understand?" Ms Nurul explain.
"Understood, Teacher" you all replied her.
"Good. Now, I will call out everyone name to split you all into 2 group" Ms Nurul said and start calling each one of your classmate name.
Meanwhile you already linking both of your arms on two of your bestfriend.
"You do know that we might not be in 1 group" Tammy state the fact.
"I know but if Ms Nurul see us three, maybe she will change her mind" you try to think the possibility of that to happen.
"There's a possibility that can happen" Nadhir nod his head, approving your idea.
"Really, Nadhir. You're siding with her?" Tammy roll her eyes at her two friends.
"There a chance right? and beside we can't separate with y/n. She's out happy pill" Nadhir pat your head that made you smile at his warm touch.
"More like your happy pill" Tammy shake her head with a half smile on her face.
After Ms Nurul called the rest of the student name, she saw you three linking your arm tightly on Tammy and Nadhir.
"Y/n, I know you're close with them both but I have to split you three for today" Ms Nurul sigh while pinching the ridge of her nose.
"What? Teacher, can't you let us be in 1 group. Please?" You plead.
"You three won't focus and will just play around. Especially, you and Nadhir! So NO!. Nadhir you will be in group 2 while Tammy and y/n will be in group 1" Ms Nurul firmly said.
"But teacher. I promise that we will stay focus" you try to negotiated with her.
"No means no, y/n. That is my final statement. Now group 1 will follow me while group two will be watch by one of our practical teacher Mr Jamie" Ms Nurul said.
You watch Nadhir in group 2 behind you, Nadhir saw you staring at him and he just gave you a small wave with a smile on his face. After you were out from his sight, he let out a sad sigh then suddenly someone gave a tap on his shoulder.
"Nadhir, do you want to pair up with me to do Ms Nurul tasks" Sarah asked him.
"Yeah..sure" Nadhir shrug his shoulder and just agreed to her invitation.
Meanwhile, you were slugging your shoulder and always let out a sigh while doing your tasks. Tammy show how low in energy you were being so she gave a light slap on your back but it still gave you a stinging feeling.
"Ow. Tammy!!" You whine in pain.
"Stop being so gloomy and help me" she scolded you.
"It just feel weird without him here" you sigh and read the history that was plastered on the wall.
"Really? It feel normal for me tho. Well I feel much more relaxed that I don't have to go through both of yours mischievous behavior" she said with a bit of relief.
"I'm being serious. It feel empty" you said while writing down the history you were reading on a piece of paper.
"Hmm" Tammy just hum to your statement while gently patting your back.
After the field trip was over, you quickly look around the group of your classmate to search for him. As you landed on the tallest guy in your class, you pull Tammy toward him.
"Slow down, y/n!" Tammy said as she was being pulled by you.
"Hurry up, Tammy" you pulled her and excuse yourself in between the crowds.
After you saw him, you stopped that made Tammy always lose her balance by the sudden halt.
"Hey! Be careful. You almost made me fall" Tammy said.
"Is that Sarah?" You pointed at the girl, Nadhir is talking to.
"Oh! Yeah, that's her. I see that Nadhir is getting along with her" Tammy said that a made you turn your head toward her.
"Why do you say so?" You ask.
"Because back then before you come. Nadhir and Sarah does not really get along with each other. They will always quarrel over small thing. I guess that quarrel is over and they decided to become friend?" Tammy shrug her shoulder.
"I see" you replied her and turn your back that made Tammy stare at you with confusion.
"Weren't you excited to meet Nadhir?" Tammy ask.
"I feel like giving him some space to talk with Sarah. I don't want to ruined their moment" you explain with a fake smile.
"You sure. I bet that Nadhir will be happy to see you after hours being separated from you" Tammy said but you shook your head at her.
"Nah..I'm fine. Let's go to the souvenir shop before heading to the bus." You quickly pulled Tammy from there.
"Wait, y/n!" Tammy tried to slow you down but you were too strong for her to handle and ended up being pulled by you again.
You and Tammy have already reach the bus top. The sit beside you were empty while Tammy is sitting behind you.
"Where is Nadhir?" Tammy said as if she know what you were thinking.
"I don't know and I don't care" you cross your arms while staring outside the window.
"Why suddenly so grumpy? At first you were being gloomy now grumpy. Did something possess you while we were in that museum?" Tammy ask you with confusion and a bit of annoyance by your sudden change of attitude.
"I'm sorry, Tammy. I too don't know why I'm acting such a way" you said with guilt and now resting your hands on your lap.
"I forgive you but please don't worry me like this. If you have anything in mind, do tell me. Okay?" She said and you reply her with an okay.
Few minutes past, Nadhir finally get on the bus and sat beside you. He widely smile at you while you just stared at him.
"What?" He ask.
"Nothing..." You turn your head at the window while Tammy let out a sigh after seeing you behaving grumpy again.
"She's just upset that she didn't get to be in a group with you today and she's had been waiting for you to come by here" Tammy explained that made Nadhir nod, understanding the whole situation.
"Well for the group thing wasn't my choices but I'm sorry for making you wait for me." Nadhir apologize but you stayed quiet.
"I got you a souvenir" he smile and took out a small box that caught your eyes.
"Wow, a necklace?!" Tammy said with surprise.
"Yeah, I saw a sun shape necklace and thought of y/n straight away so I bought it for you" Nadhir said and handed it to you.
"For me?" You were surprise to even thought of him buying you a such beautiful necklace.
"Yes" he warmly smile at you.
"Can you help me put it on?" You asked and he agreed to help you.
"It suit you" he said after seeing the necklace hanging around your neck.
"But why a sun?" You ask, still staring at the necklace.
"Because you bright out my world. You're my sunshine, y/n" he said that made your heart the melts as you stare into his eyes.
"Aww sweet" Tammy awe with the while situation.
"Thank you, Dhir. I really love it" you thanked him as he gave a gentle pat on your head.
-Present-
You are now staring infront of your dresser mirror while playing with the necklace around your neck.
"Y/n, you ready?" Tammy knock by your bedroom door to see you have done but was staring at your own reflection.
"Y/n, let's hurry up before we're late" Tammy said then saw your necklace.
"You sure you want to be wearing that...there." Tammy said with a bit of concern.
"This necklace is one of the item I really cherish." You said while staring at it.
"I thought you throw it away" Tammy sigh, standing beside you.
"I went to look it back and found it. I don't dare to lose it, Tammy" you bite your lower lip to hold it the tears in your eyes.
-back to 15 years ago-
You were walking home with Nadhir and saw him staring at the sky. You followed his step and almost hit a pole. Nadhir saw it and pull you away before you hit your head with it.
"Watch where you were going, y/n" he scold you.
"Sorry, but why were you staring at the sky?" You ask.
"Hmm? Oh nothing. I was just thinking" he said that made you curious what he were thinking about.
"What is it then?" You ask.
"It's nothing" he shook her head and showed you a smile before continuing walking home.
Then out of the blue he said that caught you off guard.
"I have a feeling that Sarah have feeling for me" he state that made you stop your track.
"Huh?" You stare at him with no reaction because you were to stunned to react.
"I just have this feeling that she's crushing on me" Nadhir replay what his statement.
"What made you think so?" You ask.
"Because, she's getting a bit closer to me and sometimes she will texts me about 'homework' then suddenly we started talking about other things. Since then I sense she's falling for me." He said as if that's a normal thing to happen to people.
"Aren't you gonna say anything to her?" You ask.
"Not really...that will just put her in an awkward position later" Nadhir said.
"Then are you gonna just ignore it?" You ask.
"Better than breaking her heart, right?" Nadhir reply.
"That's totally wrong!! You will be giving her hope that she have a chance to with you!" You unconsciously raise you voice at him.
"Why are you yelling? Then what should I say to her? 'Hey, Sarah..sorry but I actually have a girlfriend now and she's doesn't feel comfortable me being close with other girl. Sorry'. I can't say that to her because I don't have a girlfriend" Nadhir state that made you frown.
"Of course you do!! I'm here!! I'm your girlfriend!" You suddenly said that a made you two stare each other and become quiet for a few second.
"You? my girlfriend" he point at him then you then back at him with confusion on his face.
"Forget what I just said!!" You were about to run when he mange to caught your bag pack and pull you infront of him.
"I heard what I heard. So you want to be my girlfriend?" He ask with a serious tone.
"I didn't say girlfriend....I say girl as in a friend" you try to make an excuse.
"I'm not in the mood to play around, y/n. Now tell me. Do you meant what you said just now? Being my girlfriend?" He stare at you intimately with a hint of softness.
"Yes" you whisper but enough for him to hear.
"It's official then!" He clap his hand while grinning widely at you.
"Huh?" You stare at him blankly.
"We're officially going out!" He said with joyful in his tone while you were blushing hard but happy at the same time.
Since that day, you and him became a couple for 3 year from form 3 to form 5. Tammy found out about it after seeing how closer you two were. Then all your classmate know about it after Nadhir spill it to them all. You notice that Sarah distance herself from Nadhir after hearing the news and what he told you was true, Sarah did have feeling for him. You felt a bit guilty but were still happy that you are happily in love with your best friend until the day come to ruined it all. A month before SPM will be held.
-back to present day-
You and Tammy arrived the wedding ceremony. You saw most of your classmate and friend of Nadhir were at the wedding. Some of them greeted you and Tammy until Sarah come to greet you both.
"Sarah! You look so beautiful!" Tammy praise Sarah and to be honest you also think that she have gotten gorgeuos.
"Y/n, you also came!!" Sarah pull you into a friendly hug and you genuinely accepted it.
"Congratulation to you and him" you said and she gave you a warm smile.
"Thank you" she said.
Then suddenly someone come by making you wish that you weren't there at the moment.
"Darling, the people inside is asking for you" her husband sweetly said to her.
"Oh! I will be right there. Honey, you still remember Tammy and y/n" she said to him as he lock eyes with you.
"You both came" he said with happiness in his voice but you can sense the hint of awkwardness on his tone.
"Look at you, Dhir! All mature up and now someone husband. I'm so proud of you!" Tammy pat his shoulder with proud on her face.
"Thanks Tammy" he smile then stare back at you.
"Congratulation, Dhir" you showed him a genuine yet half of it was a fake smile.
He notice your fake smile and asked his wife if he can talk with you and she gave the permission. Tammy went on to meet the others while you followed Nadhir to somewhere private.
"How have you been?" You ask with a smile.
"I'm sorry" he suddenly said that a made your smile drop.
"I don't know what you are talking about" you said but tears start to form in your eyes.
"I'm really sorry, y/n for hurting you" he apologize once again that a made you broke into tears.
-back to 15 years ago-
You and him got into a big fight, a month before SPM. You could not remember the exact reason you both fight but it have to do about separation. He was chasing you after school ended. Your home room teacher asked your class what will you all do after SPM and some of them have already planned their journey while some haven't. You were in the group of that haven't plan anything to do after SPM while Nadhir is on the opposite group.
"I don't want to hear it" you cover your ear but Nadhir pull both of your hand off your ears.
"Listen to me, y/n. You can't just let this go away by itself and not wanting to talk about it" he try to calmly tell you about it.
"I don't want to!!" You raise your voice at him.
"You have to because this decision it important for the both of us!!" He said trying to contain his anger.
"Can't we just talk about this another time?" You try to change the subject.
"No. Y/n, I can't just let fate decided my life. I have to plan it beforehand. I'm not like you who follow the flow. I need to plan my life to see what I want to do with it" he try to explain to you.
"Do you think I want to be like this?! I also have plan but whenever I make plan it never works out and whenever I try to do it, I always stop midway thinking to myself I'm not good enough!" You said, gripping tightly on your head.
"Then let me help you. Let's work on it together" he try to negotiate with you.
"I can't. I can't do that Dhir. I can't leave my family here. I just....I'm scared" you look into his eyes with teary eyes.
"I know the world is a scary place but I know we both can make it together. I believe in us. Follow me go to KL and let's chase our dream" he hold tightly on both of your wrist.
"I can't. I'm sorry" you look down on the ground as he frown with your decision.
"But we can make it work, between us. Our place isn't that far and maybe when we both have time we could visit eachother." You try to look into the bright side.
"Y/n, we both will be busy at some point and I don't know if I can do that. I don't know if I can commit to that" he said, staring at your face with guilt and sadness on his eyes.
"Then are we breaking up? You just gonna end our relationship because you're scared that you can't stay loyal to me?" You ask with a bit of anger and disappointed.
"You know I don't meant it like that" he ruffle his hair out of frustration.
"Then what is it that you want to tell me?! If you're going to break up with me in the end then why bother loving me?!" You shout angrily at him.
"Could you just give me some time to think, y/n" he bite the inner of his check to hold in his frustration.
"Just answer the question!" You said that limit his patience.
"JUST SHUT UP FOR A MOMENT!!! Arghh! I regret being with you! You're such a pain in the ass!! I HATE YOU" he said out of anger and soon realize what he just said to you.
You were shocked that he said such word to you. You didn't said anything and just left there. Nadhir didn't even chase after you and stood there while watching you walk away from him. Ever since that day, you distance yourself from him and he did the same to you. Even after SPM finish, you two stop communicating with each other until 15 years have pass by.
-the present-
"It's not your fault" you said after you stop crying.
"Huh?" He stare at you with confusion.
"I was too scared to face reality and eventually that ended up me losing you. I was being immature about it without thinking about your feelings. I was being a kid back then. Well we both were. I always know you wanted to chase your dream there and I wasn't being supportive about it. I'm sorry, Nadhir. I should have try to understand you and resolve it with you but instead I ignored it and lose you." You said then stare at him.
"I should have done the same thing but maybe it was for the best. You are now a successful (career you want) and now helping your family while I have achieved my dream and now married with my beautiful wife" he said smiling.
"I'm happy for you" you said and stretch your hand at him.
"We're still friend?" You ask, hoping that he will accept your handshake.
"We're always good friend, y/n. Thank you for all the good memories you have gave me" he said, accepting your handshake.
"And thank you for giving me a roller coaster experience, Dhir" you chuckle with him.
In the end, you two become friend again but not as close as before. However, at least you did make up with him even tho you and him didn't stayed together as you plan to. You were happy to see him now with Sarah and believe that she's the one for him.
"Goodbye, my first love. I hope you're happy with her" you thought to yourself after seeing how happy he is with Sarah beside him.