They went from sworn enemies to best friends. He often said, that his sister brought them together, and he was right. They got closer than ever, they spend time just talking, watching movies, basically doing small things, but they both enjoyed it.
Sometimes she forgot, she ever hated him, because he wasn't that egoistic sob anymore. With every day she trusted him more. He made her smile and laugh again. Even though, if for short time, he did, and he felt so good if she smiled. That was something he rarely saw, her doing, but lately she's smiling more. And that made him smile too.
It's in the beginning of August, I think, I don't know. Like I said, I don't do calendars anymore. Harry mentions from time to time what date it is, but is not that important.
I haven't heard from him since two days ago, and that kinda scares me. Usually he comes here everyday.
If someone asks what are we doing, all I can say is talk. Because that is what we do. We talk non stop. But if I'm one hundred percent honest, these last months are a blur. I don't remember that much, I just know me and Harry are friends, I trust him, and I can't afford to lose him.
I went downstairs to the kitchen, to get some water. I opened a pipe and filled my bottle with cold water.
"You know, as much as they say, water is good for you, you should eat something." Harry walked in.
"You know, we have a door bell. And I have ate." I sarcastically replied, putting a cap on the bottle.
"Let's just say, you really did, tell me what was it?" he leaned against the counter.
"An apple." I mumbled.
"An apple?" he repeated.
I nodded.
"You are crazy. You have lost so much weight lately, you look like a fucking skeleton, and it freaks me out. What if one day, when I come, you'll be so skinny, I won't be able to see you?" he joked, but I knew he was right. I was too skinny. But food was disgusting. Before, I swear I would do anything to just eat, but now it's just yuck.
"Ha ha ha." I said sarcastically.
"Come on. Let's go. I'm taking you to dinner. You are eating today." he announced, clapping his hands together.
"It's late, I'm in sweat pants and with my face is a mess, plus I'm not hungry." I protested.
"Excuses, lady. Go, get ready, I'll wait. Just hurry up." he pushed me through the hall, to my room. He pushed me in, closing the door behind, leaving me to change.
Like that I changed but protested. I didn't want to go anywhere. So in the end we stayed in and ordered Chinese. And since then I eat more, and as Harry said, I look healthier.
*
Me and Harry are sitting on the balcony, drinking cocktails he made, hiding from the heat. It's a hot August day, my father isn't at home, so Harry came, like always.
He was shirtless only in his shorts. He had his sunglasses on even though we are sitting in the shadow.
I was in my high waisted shorts and the 1975 top.
We got so close in the past months, I forgot we even fought. Really, it didn't make sense.
"You know," Harry broke the silence between us. "You have to go out, and let stories happen to you. And the same goes for me." he crossed his arms on his chest.
I knew he's going to say something poetic, like that, since he was quiet for the past half an hour, frowning his eyebrows, thinking.
"I'm outside and so are you." I mocked, even though I probably shouldn't have. He sighed and I realized he's being serious.
"I know, I'm sorry. But I really don't mind hanging out only with you. I don't think I'm ready to see the world. I just don't know how to respond to the endless 'I'm sorry' or 'It must be so hard.'." I answered, seriously this time.
"I'm having the same problem, but we can't hide forever." he looked at me.
"Yeah." I replied, looking down.
I'm really not ready. I know how it was at the funeral, where unknown people were hugging me and crying, saying I'm sorry. It made everything even worse. And people saying sorry, was the constant reminder of what happened.
You usually don't say ' I'm sorry.' for something good that happened. You usually say it when you apologize to somebody, which is not a good thing. I never heard someone, saying sorry, for something good they did.
So, sorry, was the remainder that what happened, shouldn't happen. And I swear to god, if the one who's responsible for this, shows up, or they find him or her, both me and Harry will make sure, he rots in guilt.
"Can I ask you something?" Harry interrupted my thinking.
"It has absolutely nothing to do with this, but I'm just curious." he said.
"Okay..." I said a little confused.
"Did you ever have sex with Niall?"
Woha, where is this coming from?
"First of all, I did not. And second, where did you get that? I said annoyed, he stayed quiet.
"Harry! Talk!" I stood up quickly.
"Umm. Zayn told me, that Niall is bragging about being your guy for comfort sex." he stood up slowly.
"He what?! I can't believe this." I screamed and went inside. I was about to go to Niall's and strangle him. I haven't seen him since the funeral and I know that we aren't that close anymore, but he can't do that.
I started putting my shoes on when Harry walked in.
"Where are you going?" he asked.
"To that lying piece of shit! I'm going to strangle him, I swear!" I said through my teeth.
"Woha, calm down." he rubbed his neck and a wicked smile appeared on his face.
The smile, he always had when he did something stupid, just to annoy the shit out of me.
And there, it hit me.
"Harry, you fucking idiot! Aren't we pass that? I thought you've changed, you promised that you won't do that! I can't believe I trusted you!" I screamed at him, punching his chest.
"It was a joke. I wanted to lighten up the mood." he said, grabbing my wrists, making me unable to punch him again.
"A joke? What about your shitty 'knock knock' jokes? Sure they suck, but they would at least make me laugh, this just made me pissed! How can you be so cruel? I thought we became friends, but Harry, you've just proven me wrong." I screamed again.
He remained silent, picking up his shirt from the chair, putting it on.
"Could you please stop with that?! Harry, what did I ever do to you? One second you are the nicest person and the next you start acting like ugh- Just stop acting like a spoiled brat because we have bigger things going on!"
I screamed at him with tears in my eyes.
I knew he can be an idiot but not now, not in time like this. It was too much and god I wanted to slap him.
He was looking at me with those piercing green eyes his expression almost blank now it was his way to talk. I was prepared for whatever storm of swears he prepared for me.
"You don't get it do you?" he turned around and stared through the window.
I was surprised by his question and I took a step further from him to increase that 3 feet gap between us. I wasn't scared of him but something in his voice made me think that this is not just a childish game.
He turned around, his eyes glued on me.
I was still waiting for him to tell me whatever he wanted to say.
I closed my eyes and sighed, he ran his hand through his hair.
"Wait you really don't know? Lucy never told you?" he said and his voice shook a little in the end.
As soon as he mentioned her name a tear slipped down my cheek. But he ignored it.
"I was supposed to do something but I can't anymore it's just fuck-"
He sat on my bed and stared into the distance.
He mumbled something but I couldn't hear him I wish I did but it was so quiet. I sat down next to him and I saw tears building up in his eyes, one already rolled down the cheek.
We sat like that for an hour, most likely but it seemed like ages.
The whole time I was wondering what was he taking about, what was the thing she kept quiet about. I was dying to know what he mumbled under his breath.
From time to time I looked at him but he was staring at the floor.
He cleared his throat and looked at me, his eyes dark green telling me that he's ready to tell me what the hell is going.
"Look-"
He started and I didn't know what to expect.
"We have known each other since we were little kids, and from the start it was cool, making fun of you . But then we became this, adults, or at least I can say we aren't kids anymore. And yeah, first I did that for the show, to look cool in front of others and I always liked how I messed you up. I'm not proud of that, I admit. But after a while, somewhere in 9th grade I realized, this is bigger than just messing around. I wanted to talk to you, but the only way you'd talk to me is if we'd fight. And I continued with that. I know I should just come to you and talk normally, but I didn't know how. The thing is, I was afraid that you'd think I'm crazy and simply walk away. And I'd rather have fights with you than not talk to you at all." he paused.
I didn't know where this was going.
"But you know what hurt the most? Every time you said, you hate me. You can't even fucking imagine, every time you said that, all I wanted is to-" he paused again, as he was thinking if he should say it or not. I looked at him, still saying nothing.
"Is to kiss you. And turn that hate into something else. Not in love, as I'm not in love with you, but in some affection towards me, just something other than hate. I have these feelings towards you, it's not love, because such a thing doesn't exist. You can't put feeling like that into one word and label is as 'love'" he buried his face in his hands.
He just put his feelings in front of me, and I didn't know what to say.
"Goddamit, when we kissed, I knew that was my only chance to make things right, but then you kissed Gwen and I did the stupidest thing I could. I'm still, so very sorry for it. Then her death brought us together, and despite the things that happened, these three months, I feel more alive than ever. You helped me, you are here for me, you are the one I can count on." he sighed and another tear left his eye.
"Why didn't you say something before?" I asked without even thinking.
"Because I'm afraid of destroying you. You are the strongest but also the most broken person, I know. And if I'd screw something up, I couldn't live with that. I'm terrible at beginnings, then I try to make things right and in the end, I destroy everything. Including myself. But I don't want to destroy you. I want to pick the pieces that are broken and fix you." he said.
There it was. What I had in front of me was the real Harry, with all his feelings, waiting for what I'll say.
And I was left speechless. The lad who never showed his emotions, was always tough, has opened his feelings and thoughts to me.
He was a type of a person, who was the best or the worst for you.
Because of his behavior I hated him, but deep inside I knew, I can't really hate him. I hated things he did to me. Because of hate I pushed away all the 'good feelings' I had towards him, letting hate do it's thing. Until he saved me. That's when I realized who he really is, and I cared for the real him.
"For fucks sake, say something." he said.
"I-I don't know what to say." I stuttered.
He stood up, and he was pissed, like he regrets telling me everything. He walked towards the stairs and I stopped him.
"Harry!" I screamed, standing up.
"What?" he snapped, facing me.
"Come here." I said quietly.
His green eyes widened in shock. He took three quick steps towards me. Grabbed my waist, pulling me closer. Our faces were two inches apart and I felt his breath on my face. Our lips slowly and gently touched. We started kissing, but not roughly. It was a slow kiss. And once again, that energy, connection was here. I put my hands behind his neck and he dig his fingers into my sides. He opened his mouth a little, enough for my tongue to find it's way in. He run his tongue over my bottom lip and I smiled, what caused him to smile too. He cupped my cheeks, kissing my neck, leaving a hickey. I moaned.
I hugged him and he kissed me on my forehead.
"I don't believe you'd destroy me." I whispered into his chest.
"I promise I'll do everything, not to, baby." he mumbled against my forehead.
I giggled.
"What?" he asked.
"I like it, when you call me baby." I giggled again.
"Really? Baby." I could feel smirk in his voice.
"Stop!" I screamed when he lifted me up, throwing me on the bed, tickling and kissing me all over the face.
"Harry? Did you just lick me? You are disgusting!" I laughed once I felt his tongue on my cheek. He laughed and continued kissing me.
"I have a feeling, you are getting soft." I laughed under him.
"Soft? I'll show you, who's the real man." he said and rolled of me.
He started making 'tough guy faces', but it was hilarious. Then he went doing push ups and sit ups. I really don't know what that has to do with manliness.
"Okay, okay, calm down Rambo, you ain't soft." I mocked with American accent, sitting on the bed.
"See." he smirked, sitting next to my bed.
"But your hair makes you look like a girl." I laughed again.
"Feisty. I see, you are the one mocking now." he looked up, pouting.
"Oh, don't pout. I like long hair, it looks good on you." I ran my fingers through his hair.
"Just good?" he teased.
"Okay, it looks sexy." I rolled my eyes, biting my lip.
"You can braid it. You know how to do that, right?" he became all serious, suddenly.
I started to laugh, but then I realized, he's not joking.
"Wait, you are serious. Um, sure I can do that." I said, trying really hard not to laugh.
He brought my hair brush and elastics, sat back down and I started braiding his hair.
I never thought I'd be doing something like this, but I guess life has one more surprise for me.
xx
Tatadadaaaa another #ARRY kiss and a lot more of those coming in the future ;)
So I've just came from Italy like half an hour ago and it was amazing:)) and I had some time on the bus (actually almost 6 hours) to write next two chapters :) but I'll post 13th tomorrow:) I hope you enjoy it:) and sorry for mistakes