Fuck
I looked down into my lap- the line glared back at me clearly. Positive. Fuck. I started breathing quicker and my hand began to shake and sweat. Fuck this couldn't be happening. Not now. I can't do this. Tears started to fall down my cheeks causing my mascara to splatter my face in black smudges. I was struggling to breathe. Shit. I was going to have His child. The thought made my stomach churn. And my throat was closing in on it's self. I was hyperventilating on the bathroom floor. Anyone could walk in. But for some reason they didn't. This just made me cry even harder. I was all alone on this. I knew I couldn't tell anyone. This could change everything. Not that anyone wanted to talk to me anyways.
Just then my tablet glowed with a message from Dr Rhodes- he wanted me in surgery.
I took a shuddering breath and unlocked the cubical door. I walk over the sink and looked at my self. My face was a mess and I felt disgusting. I traced my hands over my stomach and promptly ran back to the toilet- to throw up. His baby was inside me. I could never get rid of Him. I glanced over at the test and tossed it in the bin. I then went back over to the sinks and washed my hands, agressively trying to clean my thoughts off me. Before breaking down again into sobbing on the floor. I felt so conflicted and alone.
Why can't I pull my self together. Connor needs me and here I am being selfish. Come on Ava you can do this. I shakingly stood up and washed the tear stains and black smudges off my cheeks and walked out the bathroom room door back into the ED.