- TAEHYUN -
It started off slow, like anything else. Taehyun and Beomgyu's relationship evolved ever since their first kiss. It had been two days since then and they spent every single second that they could with each other. His father's trial was halted in order to accommodate for the holiday season. Luckily, Taehyun would be able to set aside his dread for his eventual testimony on the stand. Beomgyu had been an amazing distraction for everything going on in his personal life. Actually, Beomgyu had made him feel like he was in a different universe. He felt so much happier and it truly did show. His grandfather had questioned how one could look so happy when his father was on criminal trial when Taehyun had gotten home yesterday evening after spending the entire day with Beomgyu.
Walking back through the door to his apartment had made those fuzzy feelings disappear when he seen his family members hunched over the dining room table where papers had been strewn everywhere. How his mood could do a full 180 was a mystery to him. Taehyun was sick of this trial, sick of seeing the affect it had it on his mother and father, and beyond tired of the constant paperwork. Other than that, he had grown accustomed to the likeliness of being unable to get his old life back. It had eaten him alive for the longest time with doubt, but now, his mind was finally at peace. Now, he wondered what his life would be like after the trial was finished.
Last night after he had disappeared from his family and into the solitude that his room provided, he called Beomgyu to make sure he made it home safely. They stayed on the phone with each other for hours until Taehyun couldn't possibly keep his eyes open any longer. The two of them had one of their deepest conversations last night. Beomgyu shared stories about growing up and explained how he use to have a pet parrot. Taehyun could hardly even imagine Beomgyu with a parrot; it seemed like an odd choice of pet for him. Then, he told Taehyun about growing up with Yeonjun and how his parent's fights got worse by the day.
On the flip side, Taehyun was the most honest to him he had ever been with someone in his life, besides his sister. He told Beomgyu about his family's wealth and their traditions. Despite how difficult it was to talk about, he even discussed portions of the gay conversion therapy camp that his father sent him to where he met Yeonjun at. Beomgyu didn't press him on the details of the camp, which Taehyun was thankful for.
Still, despite how much he shared with Beomgyu, he missed one very large secret that he was hiding. Taehyun didn't tell Beomgyu about the conversation he had with his father. How could he? It was getting harder for him to lie to Beomgyu about why he couldn't go to his house. Beomgyu had been lying to them and telling them that he was hanging out with Yeonjun, but how long could that last? One slip up and Beomgyu would tell his father that he was actually with him and his father would tell him to the truth before Taehyun would be able to. Taehyun was playing with fire and he knew that he should've told Beomgyu, but he didn't want to ruin their relationship. He was scared of Beomgyu's reaction, truthfully, but he was more afraid of losing him.
Taehyun questioned why everything had to be so difficult. Hadn't he suffered enough? He considered the fact that it was karma for growing up in such a privileged household. What else could it have been?
Taehyun's phone buzzed in his pocket, interrupting his thoughts. He grabbed it from his pocket and brightened the screen to see a notification from Beomgyu. The two of them had made plans today. They were meeting Huening Kai, Yeonjun, and Soobin at a winter festival in downtown Seoul. Yeonjun had offered to drive, but instead, they decided to opt for public transportation. Taehyun didn't mind, that would leave more time to spend with Beomgyu. The others weren't leaving until later.
Taehyun unlocked his phone and read the text. Beomgyu was just a few streets away from his apartment complex. In a hurry, Taehyun put on clean clothes and a large hoodie that would surely keep him warm. He attempted to fix his hair before he walked out of his bedroom and into the kitchen. His father was at the kitchen table eating breakfast with a stack of papers in front of him.
"Taehyun-ah, come eat some breakfast," his mother announced as she sat next to his father with a plate of eggs mixed with kimchi in her hands.
"I'm sorry, if it's okay, I was going to eat with my friends this morning," Taehyun explained breathlessly, "Then after, we were going to go to the winter festival."
His mother pondered him for a moment before nodding, saying, "I guess that's okay, do you have money?"
Taehyun nodded and stuffed his hands into his pocket, feeling around for his wallet. He used to get a weekly allowance, but that all stopped after everything had happened with his father. Luckily, he saved up the majority of his allowance and was still living off of it almost a year later.
"Yeah, I do. I'm not sure when I'll be back home, it takes a little while to get downtown. I know that they wanted to stay late enough to see the lights, too. I may end up staying the night at Soobin's house if it gets too late."
"Just please be careful, and let us know either way," his mother told him with worried eyes.
Taehyun murmured his goodbyes and drifted out of his apartment and down the stairs. He noticed Beomgyu was standing in front of his apartment complex with his hands pressed into his jacket. He was wearing a black beanie that was pulled even lower on his face than his bangs usually sat. Taehyun smiled as he walked up to him and pressed a gentle hand on his back. In shock, Beomgyu shuddered away from him and glanced back at him.
"Taehyun, you scared me," Beomgyu murmured, "Don't do that."
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry," Taehyun repeated, unable to hold in his laugh.
Taehyun enveloped Beomgyu into a warm hug. They had just been together last night and even spent hours talking on the phone, however, Taehyun hugged him like he hadn't seen him in forever. Beomgyu's breath was hot against his neck and Taehyun couldn't help but smile. After a moment, they pulled away just enough for them to look at each other. Taehyun was the first to lean in and their lips met promptly for a gentle kiss. Taehyun felt safe and comforted, especially when they were in one of their lip-locking sessions. There was no urgency in their kiss, but instead a feeling of mutual understanding of each other.
What finally separated them was the cold wind that run down Taehyun's spine. He shivered and pulled away from Beomgyu, noticing that he had also felt the cold spell, as well. It was bound to be a cold day, which was expected for Seoul in late December.
"I've been thinking about you all night," Beomgyu murmured to him as they began to walk to the bus stop together.
Taehyun grinned widely at Beomgyu and took his hand gently, saying, "If I wasn't so tired last night, I would probably say the same. I'm not use to staying up as late as you do. Soobin and I are usually the first ones to crash."
"I know it, I'll have to train you on that," Beomgyu said, smiling.
When they got to the bus stop, they didn't have to wait very long. A bus had shown up in less then five minutes of standing there. It was about an hour drive to downtown at the rate that the bus was stopping to board. Taehyun didn't mind it, he spent the majority of the time sharing small talk with Beomgyu while both of them listened to music together.
When the bus had arrived to the park where the festival grounds were held at, Taehyun was in awe of the stringing lights and decorations that were proudly displayed. He found himself gaping around at the flashing lights in front of the entrance of the park while Beomgyu had his eyes set on him.
"Have you been here before?" He asked curiously.
"Not in a long time," Taehyun told him, "I was just a kid when I was last here. A lot of times, my family would go on vacations during Christmas break, so we weren't able to go."
Beomgyu nodded and said simply, "You weren't missing much, a vacation sounds a lot more fun. I haven't been out of the country."
"I have a few times," Taehyun told him, "There's no place like home, though."
"Sometimes I just want to catch a flight and fly far away and start a new life," Beomgyu told him with a sigh, "That's my dream, anyways."
Taehyun stared over at him, mouth still gaped open. After hearing about Beomgyu's life story last night over the phone, he couldn't necessarily blame him. His parents' relationship seemed to be weighing on him. Taehyun's parents had fought sometimes, especially in the early days when his father's crimes were uncovered, but the way Beomgyu described how his father and mother fought was something Taehyun prayed that he never had to witness. After that short conversation that Taehyun had with Beomgyu's father, he could tell that he was a rude person, but he didn't quite understand how mean he was until Beomgyu had told him everything.
"It sounds silly," Beomgyu said with a light chuckle in response to Taehyun's glance, "Don't judge me."
Taehyun was never good at empathy. He struggled with trying to relate to others his whole life and it was definitely evident when he first started befriending Beomgyu and the other guys. He was the type of person that was taught to suck it up and be a real man on behalf of his father. That was a toxic mindset to have, yet it fueled Taehyun every day. If someone wanted to box with him, then Taehyun damn well made sure that he won. If he was trying to get the highest score on his test, then he would study till he had the whole book memorized. It wasn't a good mindset to have, especially when he was trying to make friends of different backgrounds.
When he was forced to join the gay conversion therapy camp, he felt like he was getting better at empathy. He tried to understand other people's problems with their sexuality, yet at that time, he was so numb to emotions. The only highs that he felt were from Yeonjun. It was easy to understand Yeonjun, since they were around the same age and were going through the same issues. Yet, Taehyun felt that he never truly understood how it was to be empathetic until Beomgyu came around. Last night was a turning point for him where Taehyun had truly realized that he needed to shape his personality better.
While Beomgyu looked down at his feet, Taehyun suddenly pulled him close and into his arms. He didn't care about the mass of people trying to get around them as they stood right in front of the festival entrance. He didn't even care about the disgusted looks they gave them while passing by. Taehyun wanted to comfort Beomgyu and to tell him that he wanted to take all of his pain away. Beomgyu nuzzled his head against Taehyun's neck and Taehyun rubbed his back, resting his chin on top of his head. This was his happy place; a place where both Taehyun and Beomgyu could be safe from the outside world where threats couldn't make it through. They were in their own universe when they were together.
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