Author's note: Hi guys, I know I haven't written in a while and I really apologize for that but there are so many deadlines lately and it is crazy, as well as some frienship issues. So I was just sorting things out first and didn't really have the time to write. But I managed to whip this one up for you guys. I know the last chapter wasn't as amazing/good, yes it was a filler chapter but I felt it was too early if I added some drama in there so this chapters about Bradley and why he and Alabama are no longer the best of friends. Hope the reason isn't too brutal and I hope you enjoy it! For those who are still reading, voting and commenting. All I have to say is I love you so much! Like seriously, and thank you :) You make me want to continue writing this story <3 Anyways, enough of my whining, here you go!
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I wondered if they were looking for me. I wondered if they even cared right now, even though I had run I still missed them like crazy. It was weird, they were abusive. Physically, emotionally and socially they made me want to die. But maybe it was the DNA, the gene that connected us all. And I craved that, I craved being with someone, I craved having someone to talk to, someone I can pour my deepest and darkest secrets to. Maybe Bradley wouldn’t have hated me if I hadn’t been so needy and made him stay with me instead of going to her house. Maybe Brody and Reece would have loved me if I weren’t so ugly and worthless; maybe I needed to exercise more. Maybe I needed to conform to what everyone wants me to be. My parents, I craved for them to love me. I craved for them to give me hugs and kisses, surprise presents and a well home cooked dinner. Maybe Brandi wouldn’t have used me if I was just like her, a gorgeous blonde girl with legs and luscious locks that last for days.
I looked over at Granny Bea, she was silently sleeping with her hands folded on her lap. Behind us Lon and Sydney were taking a little nap as well, Lon had his arm over Sydney’s little head. Katherine and Thomas were talking in hush tones so that they wouldn't wake their son up. And me? I was looking out the window trying to stop the tears that were coming. I had to figure out what I was going to do after I was done with my little trip. I actually wished I had someone to rely on, I wish Brad was here to talk to me, to calm me down from getting so emotionally upset. I had purposely left my pills at home. I only brought two bottles along with me, I didn't want them to keep draining my energy. Without them I felt so free, I felt so happy, I felt like I was myself, my own person. I didn't need to be scared of anything... Except for those memories, except for my future, except for August. Actually I am scared. I'm so scared of being alone, I'm so scared of ending up alone. Most of all, I'm so scared of myself.
Would I be able to handle myself?
Would I be able to go on living life like I am now?
What would happen to me after I got to wherever this bus was going?
Would I get a decent job that would support me?
Would I have a family of my own?
Do I have a chance?
My mind is filled with questions, questions that I cannot answer, not just yet. And that's what I am scared of. I am scared of being a nobody, I'm scared of blurring into the scenery that no one realizes how broken I am, how hurt and injured I am. I'm so scared if I would have ended up on the streets. I thought back to that night. If it wasn't for me, if I hadn't been such a needy, greedy person then she would still be here. And he wouldn't have been so mad at me. I would still have a friend, a friend that would have told me to stay, to tell me to hang out and to tell me that things get better in the end. She would still be alive and Brad would still have her. It was all my fault.
"Bam Bam, I have to go okay? Jade is looking for me. And you know how she gets?" My mother and I had just argued. The argument got so bad that she almost kicked me out of the house. She ran around trying to get me. When she finally got ahold of me she used the phone that was in her hand and slapped me right across the face with it. It had stung, it had stung so bad and tiny droplets of blood became one with my tears. A cut had seared its war across my right cheekbone. 'Don't get any of your nasty blood on my carpet, no go wash up and don't come back down.' Those were her last words to me that night and it was a week after that before she had started to talk to me again, no sorry, no hugs, no kisses, nothing.
"Please Brad, don't leave me. I can't be here alone. I'm suffocating" Brad had snuck into my window and wrapped me up in my spongebob snuggie, he was sitting next to me and comforting my shaking body. The blood dripping down my cheek had ceased but I blotted the area with tissue just to make sure.
"Bam, I know you're hurting-" A thunder clap frightened me and I jumped, I made a start to get onto my feet I could feel my body shaking and I knew if I didn't calm down I would spiral into another panic attack.
"Please Brad, Jade, just tell her to wait, I'm so sorry but I can't be alone. I can't call Brandi anymore either." Brad gave a grimace and checked his phone. I felt so selfish at the moment but I didn't care. I had been friends with Brad long before Jade did. And Jade hasn't been exactly nice to me either, she had thought that Brad and I were secretly seeing each other when she wasn't around. I didn't want to promote her thoughts but she didn't even to attempt and try to be my friend. The few times I have tried to explain to her that Brad and I were just friends she would wave me away and walked off with her posse.
To be secretly honest, I was scared of Jade as well, I was scared of Jade and her posse, it wasn't just because of her intimidating looks. It was because she was older, older by a year and I was scared of being bullied by a senior. Yes, it was a surprise to everyone that Jade the gorgeous green eyed girl with green streaks in her hair and freckles all over her face had wanted to be Brad's girlfriend. She was drop dead gorgeous and everyone knew that.
"Bam, look. I know you are upset, what your mom did to you was very wrong, but what if I come back? Right after I meet Jade, would that be okay?" I didn't answer him, instead I focused on my breathing.
"Bam, you know how Jade gets. I don't want to hurt you but she doesn't like you very much right? Look, I don't want to make her hate you more than she already has. I've tried to explain that we were just friends but she won't have it. Please Bam?" Brad looked at his phone again and tapped something with a frown, I rolled onto my side and curled up into a tiny ball.
"Bam, Bam Bam, this ain't good..." That had gotten my attention, I turned to look at him and his eyes were wide with surprise and worry.
"What is it?" I whispered.
"Jade's on her way here" Before I could reply a loud boom of thunder made itself known and both Brad and I jumped at the noise. Out of nowhere heavy rain started pouring and soon my body relaxed to the nice pitter patter patterns of the rain.
"Is she going to threaten me again?" I asked emotionless. Brad sighed and ran his hands over his face, he was frustrated, I could tell. But I didn't want to be alone right now, because being alone would let myself do questionable things.
I was sure that almost an hour had passed, and Jade was still nowhere to be seen. I went back to sleep, all the waiting and the anticipation of Jade's arrival and my tear stained eyes had made me so tired. Brad didn't leave, which surprised me. He was sitting at the corner of my room and kept glancing at his phone every minute. His posture was tense, and a little voice in my head told me that I should have just let Bradley gone to see Jade.
"What's the matter Brad?" I softly asked.
"She's not picking up" He replied lamely before pressing her number and calling once again. I watched him, his phone on his ear and an increasingly familiar frown making its way onto his face. The rain outside had gotten heavier, and suddenly I was a little worried too.
"Maybe she's just stuck in traffic? It is raining quite heavily Brad" I tried.
"No, if there's traffic then she would answer her phone Bam" I quietly nodded my head, agreeing with him. Brad walked over to lean under my bed and got out my box of pills. He opened one up, took a pill out and swallowed it before handing me one.
"Are-are you supposed to do that?" I asked worriedly. They weren't prescribed to him, was it okay for him to take them? The person that had listen to all the medical details and all the pill and medicine instruction was Brad, I had been pretty out of it to listen to what the nurse had to say.
"Yeah, it's just one. It'll be fine." I stared at him, my best friend had gone crazy over this girl, maybe I really should have just let him gone. We sat there and unbeknownst to us another hour had passed. Brad and I had small talk but nothing major. Brad was too worried as he kept looking over at his phone. This time however the phone rang, but after Brad put the phone to his ear for a few minutes his face dropped.
I walked over to Brad who was standing up, his hands balled into fist and the other holding tight onto his phone, I lay a hand on his shoulder trying to comfort him but he shrugged it off and with an 'I'll be right there'. Brad turned to look at me, his glare frightened me to the point where I couldn't move, I had never seen Brad look so angry, especially not at me.
"Br-Brad, wh-what happened?" I stuttered out.
"Stay the fuck away from me"
Those were his last words to me, those words was as all he said before he wrenched my bedroom door open and ran down the stairs, like a lightning bolt he was out of my house with the slam of the main door. Thankfully my parents went to have dessert, my father wanted to calm my mother down and I was grateful he had taken her away for the night. The slamming of doors would have signalled my mom to come over to my room and scold me again.
I had tried to contact Brad, I tried everything, I tried calling him, texting him, messaging him, going over to his house in the dead of night. But the reason why he had stormed out of my house and told me to as he put it 'stay the fuck away' from him was announced at school two days from that night.
Jade had gotten into a car accident, and she hadn't survived. And Brad blamed it all on me.
If I had let Brad leave me alone that night, then everything would be okay. I would still have my best friend with me and Jade would still be alive and most of all Brad wouldn't have made everyone hate me more than they already do.