"Fuck." I muttered, throwing the sheets off my body, I sat up noticing that Luis wasn't in bed. Thank God, I know he's still in the house but no idea where and what he's doing at three in the morning.
I can't sleep.
I mean, I did fall asleep for like a few minutes but then I started dreaming... of Lorenzo. Fuck, what's wrong with me?
"I need air." I muttered to myself, standing up and out of bed, Ajax's t-shirt that I packed with me, fell just down to my knees as the shorts underneath weren't visible.
Slowly, I headed downstairs, hoping I wouldn't bump into Luis because his presence is the last thing I need.
I stood by the pool, dipping my toe in to see if that water's cold and funny enough, it's warm. Wait, it's a headed pool, of course.
Looking around warily, he's definitely not here; just the dim outdoor lights that illuminated in the pool waters as a bunch of plants and trees surrounded me, this pool felt so private. Like a treasure, hidden in the beauty of these plants.
I stripped down to my underwear and bra because I really don't want to scrummage through my clothes to find a bathing suit.
It's been about five minutes, just floating in the pool as I admired the stars far, far away in the pitch black sky.
Nothing could ruin this moment, I feel so calm and serene.
"Amara?" I take it back.
"Luis?" I instantly go into an upright position, staring at his large frame as he stood in front of me with a look on his face I couldn't decipher.
"It's three in the morning, Amara." His voice was low, kind of raspy — was he sleeping?
"I know," I nodded. "I couldn't sleep." I shrugged as I went back onto my back, floating.
"So you decided to go swimming in your underwear?" I glanced at him; his bed hair all tousled and wavy, one hand in his joggers as the other rubbed his jaw, staring down at me with his intense yet sleepy eyes.
"Well, as you can see." I was looking straight up, loving the how nice the water felt and that only lasted until Luis caught my eye.
I turned my head, seeing him pull his t-shirt off with such ease; this is the first time I've seen him without a shirt and damn. His waist slim with abs, his v-line prominent as veins disappeared under his joggers, his arms big with tattoos here and there.
"Luis," I sighed, going upright again. "I just wanna relax." I eyed him as he casually pulled his joggers off too, now standing in front of me with black boxers and my eyes slightly widened at the sight.
"Me too." He smirked cockily and I rolled my eyes.
"By myself." I informed him as I watched him get into the water and I really can't do anything now.
I'm so done.
I rolled my eyes, swimming to the edge and ready to get out but that didn't last when Luis all of a sudden grabbed my arm, pulling me back.
"Stay." His voice wasn't as cold as it usually is, it felt more sincere this time. Even though he demanded it, it felt more needed for him.
So, being the idiot I am, I stayed.
A few minutes of silence passed, just complete silence — if wasn't uncomfortable or anything — I would just prefer if it wasn't silent.
"Do you miss your family?" So random. Why is he even asking? Not like he cares.
"Of course." I was stolen away in the comfort of my own — Lorenzo's actually — bed. Stolen away from my family... I can't help but think back to Wade.
I haven't stopped thinking about him at all, all these months. I can't imagine to think what Anita's going through, I would never be able to hand the pain if I was in her situation. Lorenzo means the world to me.
"Do you have a family?" I asked him with slight curiosity, I've never seen him with his family, never even heard about them. I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't have any, an asshole like him doesn't deserve it.
"Yeah," He spoke, his voice softer this time holding just the right amount of raspiness. "Two brothers, both older than me... my father passed away when I was young so it's just my mother," He opened up a little about his family which took me by surprise. "And you know us Mexicans, big ass family." He smirked, a small smile on my lips in agreement.
"So, are they all here or?"
"In Mexico," He answered. "I haven't seen them in a few years." He told me honestly and it makes sense, a workaholic like himself doesn't need anything else other than money and power.
I'm a result of that; his little prize to show off.
We ended up talking for a few more minutes — or more than that because I honestly lost track of time. Listening intently to how he explained his family; missing my own I pushed that aside.
I miss my brothers, especially Landon because I can't help but feel motherly towards him. Like there's a constant need for me to protect him — even though he doesn't need my protection — I miss him.
My drifted off to Wade, watching Luis talk, his lips moving gracefully as his voice dulled into the background, my mind drifting off to only Wade.
His beautiful eyes, his long hair that trickled the lower part of his neck but cut into layers so it wasn't technically as long. Parted through the middle as his hair waved, sometimes tied up into a half up half down bun. His lips that used to playfully stretch out into a warming smile, his big heart and how selflessly he loved everyone.
I remember the first time I met him, we fought. Little did I know how much he would mean to me afterwards.
I could feel my chest tighten with guilt, with pain.
My mind now becoming lucid as I watched the man in front of me talk so fondly of his family but he destroyed mine in such a quick moment.
My jaw clenched, his eyes glancing at me here and there until he noticed the change in me, slowing down his words until he finally shut his mouth with confusion etched onto his face.
"Amara, what's wrong?" He asked, turning his body in my direction, his shoulders barely under the warm water.
"You." I muttered. "If the pain you caused my family remotely happened to yours... how would you feel?" I asked him, my voice calm yet so angry.
I could see the expression in his eyes change; the life that filled them draining as he stood up straight now, his body from below his chest out the water.
"Amara..." He clenched his jaw, staring down at me. "Why are you bringing that up right now?" He can't be serious.
"Oh?" I scoffed, a smile of disbelief plastered on my face. "Are you being serious?" I looked up at him, growing a little closer to him as I angrily stared up at him.
His face remained stone cold, his jaw clenched and like usual, I couldn't read his emotions.
"What'd you wanna hear?" I stared up whilst he looked down, our bodies close enough for me to hear the sound of his deep breathing. "Tell me, Luis. What did you wanna hear after you stole me from my family and from my happiness — oh, that you mean so much to me..." I pulled a face, furrowing my brows as I gave him a sarcastic innocent look. "That I wanna be with you, that my life had no meaning until you kidnapped me—" I was cut off by his sudden reaction, his hand tightening around my neck.
It was enough pressure for me to feel my breathing stagger. Fuck.
"—You're a bitch," He clenched his jaw and I smirked at how easy it was to piss him off.
"What? You don't like the reality?" I raised a brow, my bottom lip tucked under my top teeth as I smirked, scanning his raging eyes.
Our faces were close, our noses only a few inches away and I could feel the heat of his anger radiating onto me.
His eyes in my sight were gone as quick as he pushed me under the water; I could feel the warm water flood my body as I grabbed his hand for him to stop.
Panic was quick to kick in, my arms thrashing for air and to free myself of him. My nose and throat burning, my body from the inside lit on fire as my eyesight blurred when the only thing I could see was his torso.
I kept my mouth shut tight and my eyes too but just then I felt my body reaching the surface as air relieved my body from the pain and freight.
Coughing up the water in my lungs, I gasped as I pushed my hair back to see Luis standing there with both his hands on my face, making me look up.
I felt terrified all of a sudden, the sick feeling bolting through my veins as I pushed myself away from him.
"Get the fuck off me!" I could feel the tears of adrenaline sting my eyes as I hastily got out the pool.
I could hear him calling out for me but I didn't stop, rushing inside as the air made me shiver.
Goosebumps rising on my skin as I ran up the stairs, Luis not too far behind me.
"Amara!" He yelled out but not in the same anger he tried to drown me with but with concern now — which is hilarious.
I took in a deep breathe once I was inside the bedroom, slamming the door shut as I pressed my back against it after locking it.
I felt his hand slam down onto the door and I clenched my jaw, shutting my eyes still feeling my insides burn and my heart rushing with this new found fear.
"Amara..." He spoke from the other side and I listened to his voice.
"Go away." I called back and it went quiet.
That was until he hit the door again and I felt my fear grow even worse.
"Open the door," He spoke and I rolled my eyes. "Don't be like this... I didn't mean to... I'm sorry, Amara, open the door, please." His voice became soft, more like a begging tone that reeked of manipulation.
Don't give in, Amara.
"Go away, Luis." My voice was more stern this time and he started banging on the door repeatedly.
"Open the door, Amara!" He didn't sound aggressive, I could hear the regret in his voice but I kept my back against the door.
"No!" I yelled back with my remaining confidence, hastily pulling on the first t-shirt I saw to warm up my cold body.
"Amara..." I heard a small whimper in his voice which took me by surprise. "Open the door, please, I'm so sorry." I found my hand on the lock, as much as I didn't wanna open it, I couldn't help it.
I unlocked it, the click filling the quiet air as I moved back from the door.
Nothing happened for a few seconds, my heart starting to beat faster with each passing second.
Suddenly, he had rushed in; his joggers back on as his upper body glistened with the pool water, his medium long hair now wavy as a few wet strands curled in front of his eyes.
"Amara," He softly spoke and the next thing I know, his arms are around mine, my body engulfed in his as my check pressed against his wet yet warm chest.
His fast beating heart filling my ears as he caressed my hair soothingly.
It feels as if he didn't just drown me.
"I'm so, so, so, sorry, amore," He kissed the top of my head, my hair drenched as I stood there very still.
Afraid if I might move even an inch he would do something again.
I felt his hands engulf my face, making me face up as he kissed my forehead multiple times, before wiping the tears I didn't know that spilled from my stinging eyes.
I could feel my freight drift away but all I felt now was pain; in my heart, my head, my neck that throbbed from when he held me down.
"Don't-don't cry," He mumbled under his breathe as he focused on my teary eyes, wiping them each time a tear slipped. "I'm sorry, you know I get angry really quick — I didn't mean to hurt you." Well, you did.
I want to fight him, to scream at him, to push him out this room and slam the door on his face but I realised I need to play the victim. I need him to fall for me, I need him to believe I want to be him, I need that so I can escape.
"It's okay." I muttered and he froze, his soft thumb pads resting lightly over my cheekbones as he looked down at me with confusion laced in his eyes.
"What?" He whispered.
"It's okay, Luis," I gripped his wrists, avoiding eye contact, gently pulling his hands off my face. "I'm gonna go shower." I pursed my lips momentarily before I stepped away, walking off and I could feel his eyes burning into my back.
Once I had locked the door, turned the shower on and discarded all the wet clothes on my body; I stood in front of the mirror, my fingers tracing the red marks on my neck which so clearly looked like hand prints. That's gonna bruise in the morning.
I sighed, my eyes not able to move away from the bruising as I bit down on my lip.
I know I've been through worse pain than this but weirdly, this time it really hurt. I can feel the pain seeping into my heart, aching as prevented myself from letting my tears spill.
I have to stay strong, I have to do this so I can be back home. To get revenge for Wade. To be there for Landon... and for Lorenzo. God, I miss Lorenzo and Flavio.
I've always appreciated them but now, when I'm in this situation, it makes me realise how much they really mean to me. If it was any of them in my situation — hell I'd burn the world down to get them back.
Now, keeping that thought in my mind, I have to move cleverly from now on. Plan each move because the game has just started and this isn't going to be easy.
Game on.