I can't even tell her that I hate her without feeling like I'm lying to her and myself. My feelings for her isn't just some stupid crush that I was hoping to get over. It's more. Way fucking more.
The thought alone terrifies me. Only because I know that River deserves better. I want to become the man that she deserves. No man is worthy enough for her. Not even me.
I wanted to fuck and ruin her for anyone else. I wanted to crush her wings and then put them back together again so she'd become dependent on me. I wanted her to need me.
That dark, possessive and dangerous feeling crawled through me every time she crossed my path. River Arccadi was my vice and fuck if I'd let that kill me.
I'm crazy about her. She's makes me crazy about her.
"Let's get drunk." River says, turning her head to me with a grin on her face.
"It's late, Riv." I sigh and press the button for the elevator.
"But the mission is over and I wanna have fun." She groans, walking into the elevator when the doors open.
"No means no." I say, walking in after her.
"Do you have a bedtime or some shit? Loosen up a little, old man." She says, rolling her eyes.
I lean off the wall and stalk over to her, locking eyes with her. I smirk when she visibly gulps as I dip my head down to her eye level. I pick a piece of lint of her dress and place my hand on her lower back, pushing her to my chest.
"No means no." I repeat, my voice low.
"Loosen up means loosen up." She says, her tone the same as mine.
"Why are you so stubborn?" I ask her quietly.
"Because I'm always right." She shrugs her shoulders, leaning back against the elevator doors.
It's like asking for death if you were to argue with this woman.
I hum and brush my lips over hers. Her breath hitches and I smirk. Fire sparks within her blue eyes as they drift down to my lips.
I step back when the elevator doors open and I take in the sight of her flushed cheeks. She exhales a deep breath as soon as I step foot outside of the elevator and smirk, loving the way her body reacts to my touch.
"We're still drinking." She says, walking beside me. One drink won't hurt.
xXx
One drink turned into two. Two turned into three. Three turned into shots of vodka. The shots of vodka turned into a whole bottle of whiskey.
In conclusion, I can smell fucking colours and I'm pretty sure the room is spinning. Or maybe I am.
I'm never drinking with her again.
"What does a boner feel like?" She slurs, taking a swig of the whiskey bottle.
"I don't know. I'm a virgin." I hiccup, rolling over on to my stomach.
We are laying on the floor in our room. She is laying on her back, staring at the ceiling with her bloodshot eyes. And I'm laying beside her with my head in my arms.
"That's," She hiccups, "That's bullshit."
I turn my head to the side, looking at her with hooded eyes. There's like five of her. Is this what hell looks like?
"Why?" I murmur tiredly.
She turns her head to the side, her face now inches away from mine, "Because you're really pretty." She slurs.
"I don't feel pretty right now." I mumble.
She holds the sides of my face and leans her forehead against mine, "Shut up." She hiccups again.
"All five of you are pretty." I slur.
"But I'm prettier." She hiccups, pointing to herself.
"No." I mutter.
"Fuck you." She slurs, stinking her ring finger up at me.
"Yes please."
"Lets do it."
"What's it?"
"Bless your poor virgin soul." She mutters, holding her heart.
"I'm not a virgin." I mumble, shaking my head as I take a swig of the whiskey bottle.
"And I don't give a fuck." She giggles, snatching the bottle of me as I glare at her.
"I like you." I blurt out after a few minutes of silence.
"I like me too." She hiccups.
I sit myself up next to her, bringing her forehead to mine, "Great minds think alike."
"We're like telepathic. Wait, read my mind."
"Read mine too."
"You guys were suppose to come down three hours ago. What the hell are y-" Theo says, barging into the room but stops when he sees me and River, "What the fuck are you weirdos doing?"
"Shh, you don't get it." I slur, waving him off with my hand and keeping my eyes on Rivers.
"Ivan is being flown back to Russia and- Oh my God." Alea gasps slightly as she walks into the room. "The fuck happened in here? It reeks of alcohol."
"I wanted drugs." River says nonchalantly.
"Clearly." Alea scoffs.
"I don't like them very much." I try to whisper, putting my finger over my lip as I grin at her.
"They're not as cool as us." River whispers, putting a finger over her lip as she giggles softly.
"We're right here you know." Theo scoffs.
"I'll come back when you guys are normal again." Alea sighs, leaving the room.
"Don't drink anymore." Theo warns us before leaving the room with Alea.
"Dude, you drank the last drop of my whiskey." River groans.
"I'm not your dude." I grumble.
She starts crying after what I said. I furrow my eyebrows, wrapping my arms around her waist but she pushes me away.
"What's wrong?" I frown, looking at her with concern.
"You said you're not my dude." She sniffles, wiping her eyes.
"I can be your dude," I say, sitting her on my lap, "I'm sorry." I murmur, cupping her cheeks. She starts crying more so I tighten my grip around her.
Her face suddenly breaks out into a huge smile and she bursts out into laughter, "You're so gullible." She slurs, patting my cheek.
"Oh fuck off." I scoff, pushing her off me.
"You should've seen your face," She giggles, wrapping her arms around my neck. She goes to kiss me but I move my head away, making her scoff, "Kiss me you grumpy man."
"No." I grumble, crossing my arms over my chest.
"Fine, I'm sure Theo would want my kiss." She says, stumbling off my lap.
I tighten my grip around her, wrapping a hand around her neck, "You're mine." I say against her lips, my tone tainted with possessiveness.
"Marry me first." She slurs, wrapping her arms around my neck as her alcoholic breath fans against my lips.
A lazy smile drags across my lips as I whisper, "Now?"
"Right now." She hiccups, smirking against my lips.
"Let's go and get married then." I slur and kiss her lips as she hums.
"Propose to me first. Right now, bitch." She demands, stumbling off my lap as soon as we pull away.
I get off the floor, swaying a bit, and take one of the rings off my finger. I get down on one knee and grin at her, feeling my head start to pound.
"Will you marry me, gorgeous?" I slur, extending my ring out to her.
"I thought you'd never ask." She hiccups, sending me a dopey smile.
I pick up her hand and slide the ring on to her finger. I kiss the back of her hand, standing myself upright as I sway slightly.
I hiccup, "C'mon fiancée. I want you to be my wife now." I say, dragging her to the door.
"That's what I'm saying, fiancé." She slurs, wrapping her arm around my waist. I throw my arm over her shoulder and we lean on each other to steady ourselves as we make our way down the hallways.
I lean my head against hers, "How many babies we making after this, darling?" I mumble, pressing the button for the elevator.
"Maybe two," She says, holding up three fingers I think, "How many would you want?"
"That decision is for my wife to make. Your body, your rules." I say, walking into the elevator with her.
"This is why I'm marrying you."She mumbles, wrapping her arms around my waist and laying her head on my chest.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders, resting my hand on the back of her head, "I do." I slur.
"Save it for the alter, shaggy."
surprise shawtyyy 🤪
i just know none of y'all were expecting that