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(y/n)'s POV
"What...happened to you?" my mother asked. I clasped my hands together nervously, thinking the worst. I had forced myself to come down here in the hopes that I would be forced to talk about what happened. I had later deducted that I had a panic attack following my overthinking. I had never really had a freak out like that, I guess I had no real reason to. It made me sick to my stomach to think that maybe I didn't have any reason to survive prior to coming to UA. Having a reason to stick around was so exhausting.
I thought that maybe my mother was lying to me, and worst case scenario she would all of a sudden reveal that she had been tricking me into believing she cared. She would get mad that All for One had rejected me after all she had been working on. I glanced up at her and her eyebrows were furrowed.
"All for One...he didn't come for me but another villain did," I said.
"They gave you all those new scars on your arms?" she asked, looking down at my skin. I pulled my arms back as a defensive reaction, but nodded nonetheless. "Oh...(y/n)."
It was quiet for a moment. My mother wasn't allowed to touch me, but she placed both hands on the table.
"I'm sorry."
I glanced up, eyes darting up to meet hers.
"You deserve a better life than this one," she said. She didn't mention that she had been the one to bring me into this world. For once, she didn't talk about herself. "Are you...safe now?"
"Yes."
"Good," she said, wringing her hands. It was so weird to see my mother like this. Time incarcerated had made her more timid and feeling. I guess time apart in new places had changed the both of us. I let out a breath, feeling silly. It was less of a change and more of us sinking into who we naturally were. The next time I spoke to my mother, I wanted to know about what she was like before my father. Even if it disappointed me, I needed to know. I looked to my mother who was staring at Aizawa. Aizawa had his head down, quiet as to not disturb us. Knowing Aizawa, he had to feel her staring at him but still kept out of the meeting. My mother was bestowing a lot of trust in Aizawa, as it seemed. "I...always forget to ask, but are you learning more?"
"In school?"
"School. With new friends?" she continued.
I nodded simply. I was learning more. There was a very different style between the teachers in the school. It seemed like Aizawa was most in the trenches, trying to instill the ideaology that heroism is not as black and white as it seems. Some of the other teachers were more commission oriented, though their input was valuable to a certain extent.
I was learning. I was also learning from my classmates. I didn't want to say anything to my mother about them, especially not Kirishima or Bakugo. Their names popping up in my thoughts caused my stomach to drop to my feet. I hadn't spoken to them since yesterday and avoided them both all throughout class today.
"Time," a guard stated. My mother stood.
"Next time," she said. "I appreciate your visits."
"Bye mom," I said. Her eyes flickered, lips curling up as a guard escorted her out. Aizawa picked up his head and stood as well. I placed my arms on the table, setting my head down.
"Not ready to leave yet?" Aizawa asked.
"No," I replied, sniffling. It was still really cold out and it was threatening to snow. My nose had been running because of the cold and my eyes were watering now just sitting here. There was a drag of a chair next to me and Aizawa sat down.
"We don't need to leave just yet."
~~~
I returned to the dorms, trying to decide who I should talk to first. Kirishima seemed like the safer option, he was warmer than Bakugo was. That was nothing against Bakugo, but it was just true. I didn't want Bakugo to think that I was scared of him, if he were to find out I went to him second. If they were together...I didn't think I could talk. Then again, it might be better to just do it once. Their rooms were right next to each other.
So I stood in front of both, trying to decide.
After a while, I realized that I forgot whose door is whose.
I knocked on a random one and Bakugo opened up his door, raising an eyebrow when he saw me. I remembered now that I had come here to thank him once.
"What are you doing here?" he asked.
"Who is it?" a voice asked, footsteps bringing Kirishima up behind Bakugo. "(y/n)! Come in!"
"Oi, don't go inviting people into MY room," Bakugo scoffed. Kirishima just shook his head, pressing Bakugo aside so I could enter. I hesitantly entered and Bakugo shut the door, shoving Kirishima by his head.
"How are you?" Kirishima asked.
"You don't need to be so up her ass," Bakugo countered.
"I was just asking."
Both of them looked at me and I shrunk slightly, standing awkwardly in the center of the room.
"I'm...okay right now," I said. "I just wanted to come and say...that I was sorry if Kutsu scared you guys--specifically Kirishima. That doesn't happen...I already mentioned it before."
I took a deep breath.
"I think he just freaks out when I freak out. I don't usually panic like that, but I just can't seem to be alone with the thought of what happened," I continued. "I didn't mean to alarm you with Kutsu or running away."
"You don't have to be sorry," Kirishima said. I glared at the ground, knowing that I would have to face both of them if I looked up.
"Don't have to talk about anything either," Bakugo muttered.
"Unless you want or need to," Kirishima finished. "You really didn't scare either of us, even if Bakugo is afraid of snakes."
"Fuck you Kirishima," Bakugo scoffed. I glanced up at Kirishima, seeing him look smugly at Bakugo. Bakugo just glared at him, his hands in tight fists. I looked between them, smiling slightly.
"It's just the truth! You hate frogs too, don't you. That's why you don't say shit to Tsu," Kirishima pointed out. Bakugo nearly hissed at him, shoving at Kirishima's head again. Kirishima laughed, ducking as Bakugo's fingers mashed into his cheek. I watched them before my smile fell. Bakugo glanced over, stopping when he saw me and Kirishima stood up straight, looking from Bakugo to me.
"I don't...know what to do," I said. "Aizawa said I should go see...Toga. Police are trying to figure out what to do with her."
"You...think they'll put her in VIP?" Kirishima asked. I paused, recognizing that as a possibility now.
"I never considered that," I said, wringing my hands out.
"You never stabbed anyone," Bakugo scoffed. I felt myself tense, knowing that he and Kirishima were there to witness the first time. They had no idea. Toga...was just a misinformed, deluded kid. I wanted to take the high road and believe that it wasn't her fault, but there was a possibility we were just fundamentally different.
"I don't know," I said, my voice catching in my throat. I cleared it and glanced aside. There was a big bookshelf in Bakugo's room with 2 rows of books, one stacked in front of the other. From the edges of the pages, they looked like manga hidden behind the regular academic ones. There was also a desk and large wall hang with a skull on it. Otherwise, it was rather bare in here. Bakugo did happen to have a pretty big bean bag in the corner, probably seating 2 people. I realized that I was gawking at his space and immediately grew embarrassed. I turned back to see him stood with his arms crossed and glaring at me. It wasn't mean or anything, just angry concentration. Kirishima was staring at the floor, concentrating too. "Uhm--you read a lot?"
"Hmm? Tch, how else are you supposed to get smart?" Bakugo scoffed, looking over to his bookshelf. I walked over to it. "Oi, don't touch them."
"Wh--how come?" I asked, "Something to hide?"
I had diverted the conversation again. I really didn't want to talk about what had happened, nor think about it. I crouched down.
"No, fuck you," he scoffed.
"Bakugo..."
"What? How is it my fault she's being nosy!" he argued. I grabbed a book from the back, standing up with it as I looked at the cover. Bakugo, previously distracted, looked over.
"I haven't read this one," I said. "I've read a lot but I've never read any romance stuff."
"Tch--it's not romance--" he defended, snatching the book out of my hand.
"It says it right there," I argued.
"Wait--how come I've never see these?" Kirishima asked, standing up from where he had been leaning on a bare dresser.
"Fuck you," Bakugo said, hand dropping to his side. I snatched it back, looking through it again. Bakugo looked to me angrily. "Give it back or I'll blast your dumb scarface off."
"I'm just looking," I said, smiling slightly and flipping through the book.
"You'll bend the pages or something," he said.
"I'm barely touching it Bakugo," I replied, eyeing the drawings inside. "This is sweet, I can see why you would like them."
"I don't!"
"Bro, don't be so embarrassed," Kirishima said, patting Bakugo's shoulder.
"It's not like I would ever tell anyone if you didn't want me to," I said, shutting the book. I held it out to him and he grit his teeth, rolling his eyes.
"If you're so damn interested, just take it and read it. You rip it, I kill you," he scoffed.
"That sounds like a fair trade," I replied, pulling the book back to my stomach.
"Awe, that's so nice Baku--"
Bakugo clapped a hand over Kirishima's grin, the rest of his sentence muffled. I still felt bad for avoiding what I obviously needed to address. It was hard to regulate my emotions about everything.
"Well, maybe I should get going," I stated.
"No! Why don't you stay?" Kirishima suggested, tearing Bakugo's hand away from his mouth.
"I'm trespassing in Bakugo's space don't you think?" I said.
"You're here already," Bakugo scoffed, rolling his eyes and sitting down on his bed. I set the book down on the dresser.
"I think I have an idea of what to do about Toga," Kirishima said, steering me towards the beanbag by my shoulders. "You shouldn't be making that decision. Period. You're way too young for that. Besides, you don't need to see her either. That's totally in your control."
"She's a bitch anyways."
"Bro, we don't know that," Kirishima said. I flopped down on the beanbag as Kirishima pressed on my shoulders. "I digress, it's just a suggestions."
"Thanks," I said softly.
"Oh Bakugo, I need you to dye my roots again," Kirishima stated, changing the subject again.
"Fucking hell, again? How fast does your crispy ass hair grow?" Bakugo grumbled.
"It's not crispy!"
"It's all that hairspray and gell build up. It's like doritos up there," Bakugo scoffed. "Shitty hair."
"My hair is not--(y/n), would you please tell him that my hair is great."
"..."
Bakugo burst out laughing as I took a little too long to respond.
"Hey!" Kirishima whined.
"Your hair is nice," I said. "I do like it down though. You don't need to use so much hairspray."
"Quit howling Bakugo, you're being a dick."
"That's the funniest thing scarface has NOT said," Bakugo stated and I smiled slightly, feeling my chest grow warm. "You're just mad you're fucking wrong."
"Bullies. Both of you," Kirishima pout. I let out a breath, laying my head back against the beanbag. I was in some serious trouble it seemed. I was not going to come out of this crush any time soon. It was strangely nice to be accepted into their lazy afternoon--crush aside. I really did feel at home and welcomed when I was here.
I let out a sigh of relief.
For the first time in hours, I wasn't actively thinking about the negative.
~Caly