I sat on the phone with Hawk as I cleaned my room. "We have a week break for school and karate" Hawk said smiling as he shot zombies. "He's only not making us practice because he's off to see a friend" I informed him throwing a cup away. "How do you know?" He asked. "Told me. Some guy from his old military days."
Hawk nodded slowly, "Well tomorrow is Christmas.. wanna hang out?" He asked. "It's Christmas, for one. And for two, i'm going to my grandmas house with mom." He looked at me confused, "What about dylan?" He asked. "Couldn't get off work." I frowned. "Anyway I gotta get going, I'll call you later okay?" I smiled. "Bye princess." He winked hanging up. I smiled and walked to the living room. "You all packed jade?" My mom asked dragging her suitcase out. "Yeah." I grabbed a soda out of the fridge. Dylan walked out with his girlfriend. I smiled at the red head. "Hi Marie" I said. She smiled back, "Hey jade." She helped my mom with her bags. "Dyl help your sister." My mom smiled helping Marie. I frowned at him, "I'll miss you" He hugged me. "I know, this is like the first time since i was 11 that we're separated for more than 2 days" I laughed. "Yeah. And on Christmas." He said looking down. I frowned at my big brother, "I'll see you on new years" I said looking up at him. "Don't have too much fun without me." He grabbed my suitcase. "Can't promise." I chuckled as I grabbed my backpack.
Marie and Mom stood near the car laughing. "Ready to go babes?" My mom asked me. "Yeah" I smiled. Dylan gave mom and me a hug before walking off with Marie. We waved as I got in the heated car. "The rides 5 hours Jade so, take a nap or something." She told me as she left the parking lot. I sighed putting my headphones in and pulling my head up. I clicked Spotify and pressed play on my playlist. Woman by Kesha started playing, I looked at the passing buildings. And watched as they slowly disappeared and trees appeared. I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep.
——-
I woke up to my moms car door opening. "Mami!" She yelled hugging my grandma. I yawned and got out. "Jaydenia!!" My grandma yelled, I sighed and walked over to her. "How are you darling?" She kissed my cheeks. "Good." I smiled softly. I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket. I pulled it out, and saw hawks name on my phone.
I smiled and answered the texts
-Hawk
hey baby
jade.
:/
-me
i was in the car you impatient shit
-hawk
oh well hi babe
-me
hi babe
-hawk
how was the car ride?
-me
fine. I slept the whole time
-hawk
lazy bitch
"Jaydenia!" My grandma spoke louder. "Get off your phone." My mom looked at me. "Who's taking up your attention?" Grammy asked. I scoffed, "My drug dealer" I walked off into the house.
If you haven't noticed my grandmother and I do NOT get along well. I'm very much closer with my grandpa. "It's probably her boyfriend" I heard my mom say. I walked in the house and saw my grandpa sitting on the chair. "Hey pops" I smiled hugging him. "Hey kiddo. God what is on your cheek?" He asked looking at it. "It's badass."
"Scar from karate." I laughed. He put his hand to his heart, "You betrayed me??" He acted sad. "Don't worry you'll always be my favorite sensei." I smiled. My mom walked in, and smiled at me with my grandpa. "Your room is upstairs kid." He smiled, I walked up the stairs and jumped on the bed.
I watched netlfix until my mom came in saying dinner was ready.
——
I woke up the next morning at 5. I made an agreement with myself that I would work out every day considering there was no karate. I put on a long sleeve shirt and then a zip up over that. Along with black leggings and some gray sneaker. I put my hair up and walked out. My grandpa sat at the counter, "Good morning." I smiled. He looked at me, "What're you doing up?" He asked, "Nevermind." He added laughing as he pointed to my outfit. "Going on a run" I smiled grabbing a water. He nodded, "Be safe" He waved as he drank coffee. I waved too and walked out.
I punched the air swiftly as my music blasted in my ears. I stretched quite quickly then turned on my phone.
-me to mom
Went for a run ly
—
I ran around the block, it was extremely familiar to me considering I used to live in this town. I ran past rows and rows of identical. Thank god I left this town. I thought.
I looked at the time, 7:45. And decided to head back home. I ran back when someone bumped into me. "Watch it!" I yelled turning around. My eyes went wide, "Ethan?" I asked the blonde boy. He smiled, "Jade?" He ran over and hugged me. My arms slowly wrapped around his torso. "What are you doing here?" He asked smiling. "Uh. Christmas with my grandparents" I said slowly. He moved the hair out of his face, "What're you doing out here?" He asked looking down at me. "Running.." I replied. "Yeah i see. You look much.. bigger now.." He said looking at my body. "Is that a fat joke?" I asked him. He immediately shook his head. "No i mean you look swole and shit" He chuckled nervously. "I'm playing around." I laughed hugging him. "You definitely don't look like you smoke anymore though" He frowned. "I do. Occasionally. I sort of stopped, started karate again." I smiled proudly. He noticed the tattoo behind my ear, "You have tattoos?!" He asked grabbing face to see the hawk feather more. "What's with the bird feather?"He asked chuckling. "Uh it's for my boyfriend.." I smiled looking down. "Girl. Please tell me he's hot." Ethan looked at me, I smiled. "Burning. Scolding even." I said excitedly. Ethan cheered. "What about you? Any boys in your life?" I asked him. He actually nodded. "No way." I hit his shoulder. "Yeah. and he's a football player." Ethan said cheerfully. "Well that's amazing!" I smiled for him.
Ethan was my best friend before we had to move away. We always smoked together and went to parties. I was the first person to know he was gay.
"I missed you!" He hugged me again. "Yeah I just realized you never got my new phone number" I said pulling out my phone. I texted him a quick emoji so he knew it was me. I saw that Hawk texted me.
-hawk
Merry christmas gorgeous ;)
Ethan looked at my phone.. "his name is hawk?" He said weirdly. I laughed, "No that's his karate name. It's actually Eli." I smiled texting him back. Ethan cheered, "I'm glad you're happy"
"Me too!" I smiled at him. I brushed a strand of hair out of my face revealing my scar. "Holy shit that's hot" He looked at it. "Yeah I was kidnapped by my rival karate gang and they sort of" I motioned cutting my face. His jaw dropped, "You're literally living a movie aren't you." I chuckled, "Not the best one" I looked away. "It's been going good though." I smiled. "Oh babes, You can't say that. It's asking for it" He frowned, My smile faded, "Don't even say that."
—-
Two days later I'd been texting with Ethan and going out for lunch talking about everything we've missed with each other. "I can't believe you got like... r4ped" He mouthed the word. I nodded slowly, "yea."
"It's fine. I worked through it, made it into who i am." I smiled softly. He smiled, the waitress came over and handed me the coffee. I looked down at my phone and saw my mom calling me.
"One sec" I got up and walked outside.
"Hey mom."
"Jade" My mom sobbed.
My heart dropped, "What? Whats wrong? What happened?"
"It's Dylan.." She cried harder. I felt a strong pain in my heart and ran as fast as I could home. I swung the door open and saw my grandma hugging my mom dearly. "What's going on?" I saw a police man in the corner. "What's happening?!" I yelled. The man came over, "Your brother was shot and killed in a store robbery." He said slowly. My soul left my body. Tears erupted from my eyes and i opened my mouth to talk but no words spoke. I fell to my knees and covered my mouth with my hand. "No." I swallowed the vomit coming up my throat. My grandpa held me tight, "Im so sorry." I cried for what felt like years.
I sat in the car staring ahead. I couldn't cry, I couldn't talk. I couldn't eat or drink. I just stared at the road ahead of me. I felt my phone continuously vibrate, I didn't answer it.
—-
We arrived home and and didn't want to go to the apartment. I could tell my mom didn't either. "The funerals on sunday." She gulped. I just nodded and walked off. "Where are you going?" She asked. "Eli's." I said quietly as I walked.
My mind flooded with memories of me and dylan. I couldn't even cry. I just walked and walked and walked. I arrived at his door and knocked softly. Mrs. Moskowitz answered, "Oh jade dear." She pulled me in hugging me. I quietly sobbed, I didn't know I could cry but she was like a second mom to me. "Come inside" She took me in slowly. Eli sat on the couch with his dad watching football. His eyes darted to me and he ran over. "What's wrong" He took hold on me, his mom standing close. "My brother." I whispered. Mrs Moskowitz immediately covered her mouth in shock. "He was killed... In a shooting at his job" I sniffled. Hawk softly brushed my hair with his hands and just hugged me. Tears came to my eyes but they wouldn't fall. We hugged for what felt like hours. "Come on let's go upstairs." He held my hand. I walked upstairs with him and immediately bursted into tears the second he closed the door. He rushed over and hugged me again. I slowly drifted to my knees and we sat there together until morning.
——
On Sunday I sat awake in my bed. My mom sluggishly walked in my room, "We have until noon" She walked out again. I got up and walked to the bathroom. I showered and curled my hair. I put on a sleek black dress and black stockings. I didn't want to put on makeup but it was my brothers funeral. I had to be pretty for him.
My mom walked in wearing a long skin tight black dress. "You look gorgeous mom" I smiled softly. She caressed my cheek, "So do you, my love" Tears came to her eyes. I have her a hug, "He'd want us to get over this quickly." I said to her: She nodded and sniffed wiping her tears. "I know" We walked down stairs and walked to the burial cite. I saw Hawk and tory and even kreese. I walked over, "I'm sorry for your loss" Tory hugged me right. "Thanks" I said weirdly. Kreese gave me a sympathy look, I nodded and smiled. Hawk just held me, he didn't say anything. I wrapped my arms around his shoulders and held him close. He kissed my forehead before pulling away. "I'm always here" He kissed me. I hugged him again and walked over to my grandparents, "Oh honey" My grandpa hugged me tightly. I hugged him as tears came to my eyes. "He's always watching and protecting you okay" He told me. I nodded. My grandma just looked at me. "You're not even going to say sorry?!" I got upset. She looked taken back, "Excuse me?"
"He was my brother! And you can't even say sorry for your loss because you have some beef with me because I look like my dad?!" I yelled crying at her, Tory took my hand and walked me away. She yelled at my mom surely for my behavior but my mom yelled right back. "She's right!" She yelled walking to me. She hugged me and we walked over to the casket.
——-
My brother was gone.
And he wasn't coming back.
Ever