Disclaimer : inspired by real people (but not real incidents).
Full Disclosure : Inspired from a scene in a Maan Geet Fan Fiction called 'REEL'. It is no more available in internet to my knowledge, but if it is, then please do share link with me I would love to re-read it.
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Karan's hands quivered as he laid his phone flat on the table in front of him and sent a panicked look to his producer.
"Ashwin dan phone panraru." Karan told his producer.
(Ashwin is calling.)
The elder gentleman pretended to be busy in his laptop. Karan wondered how his producer agreed to this and why no one is taking the issue serious.
"Enna solradhu?" Karan asked even though he was sure not to get an answer from his producer.
(What do I tell him?)
Karan waited for his producer to give any kind of sign that he was being heard. After a minute, he sighed deeply trying last resort to get attention. When another two minutes passed, Karan realized he was wasting his time and so pulled himself on his feet to leave the room.
"Karan." Called his producer when he was about to leave the room.
"Sir?" Karan asked eagerly wondering if he as finally ready to discuss issue in hand
"24 hours la projected views enna?"
(What could be views in 24 hours?)
Karan's face fell in disappointment. Even though numbers he is going to give are remarkable, Karan didn't like what went in the video.
"2.5 million. " his voice didn't sound as happy as it should have.
His producer nodded in acknowledgement and way of dismissing.
Did Karan deserve such complications in his first directorial venture?
________________
Ashwin cursed as he threw his phone on the bed. It was such a disaster.
On hindsight, he began to blame every foolish decision that he made that has lead him to this position. Well, not just him, but also her in the process.
"Enaku nu sani pudichiruku pola." Ashwin hit his head with palm in frustration. "Enna pannalum oru prachanai koodave varudhu."
(Whatever I do ends up being a mess )
He took his second phone that isn't for professional use from side table. Should he call the team from this number? Will they pick it? Will he get answers?
Even as Ashwin was asking himself these questions, his mind projected a counter question, "What is use of any answer? The harm is already done."
Ashwin locked and unlocked his screen as his mind began to process anything that he can do to salve the situation.
"Edhadhu yosi da."
(Think of something)
His mind lost in arriving at anything reasonable and Ashwin sat on the bed defeated.
"Ellam pochu." His mind told him.
(Its such a disaster)
Clicking around few icons, he opened her contact in his phone. Today evening, after seeing the video, he swore that he won't contact her until he sorted the issue, but now sensing that everything his beyond his control, he gave up as he dialled her number.
"20 minutes la unga veetuku munnadi car la wait panren."
(I will be waiting for you in front of your house in 20 minutes)
________________
Shivangi was prone to constant mood swings and cranky behaviour that her parents have learned to dismiss. However, even her personality cannot be held accountable in reasoning why she is so stressed even after her music video has opened with good reviews.
Currently, Shivangi was sitting in her bedroom, holding her phone as if her life depended on it, waiting for his call, not even checking trend that her beloved fans were doing for her.
The minute her phone buzzed with a call from him, Shivangi pulled over a cashmere sweater, lied to her parents she was going to shoot a reel for her new song and left to meet him.
________________
The hug that was a usual greeting that they share when meeting each other in private space prolonged more than usual and it didn't take time for Ashwin to know that this hug was more for need to calm herself and not casual. So, he wound his free hand that was lying on the steering wheel and pulled her little closer.
He didn't say any words of comfort. He wouldn't know what will make it better. Even though it is always them together in a soup and receives equal trouble as result, he somehow always ends up feeling more responsible for every issue and guiltier too. Maybe it was just his conditioning to feel protective about her.
"Nee bayapadra alavuku prachanai illa." He finally found words to speak.
(It isn't as scary as you fear)
Her head shifted in his shoulder. Ashwin didn't know if she was nodding or just getting comfortable in his arms. Nevertheless, he began caressing the back of her head to calm her. Discussion can wait for few more minutes.
________________
3 months ago
"Enna madam shooting la irunda message kooda panna maateenga inniku phone panni irukeenga." Ashwin's voice was cheerful as he attended her call with a surprise stopping his PS.
(You wont even message from shoots, but today you are calling me.)
It was one of his off days and as fate would have it. It was an important shoot for her pushing away their plan to meet in person by another two weeks for he was going to travel for his movie shoot.
"Naan set vittu odi poga poren."
(I am gonna run away from set)
Ashwin laughed loud as he leaned back on the beam bag placing the joystick on his lap.
"Enn kooda odalam nu irukaya illa taniya va?" he teased
(Are you gonna runaway with me?)
"Naan serious ah solren."
(I am serious)
Ashwin straightened himself as if he instinctively sensed from her tone that it is going to be an important conversation.
"Enna aachu ma?"
(What is it?)
Shivangi was surrounded by camera, lights, colourful costumes, make up and moist air of beach. With kind faces smiling at her encouragingly, when she has to feel like a star who can do anything that her team believes about her, she only felt like an imposter.
Shivangi knew what it was. Ashwin explained to her how imposter syndrome was common and not as alarming to hinder growth as she suspected. He even sent her videos by popular and successful women talking about how the overcame it. As a result, Shivangi was confident when she signed as lead of this particular music video that she otherwise wouldn't have been comfortable with. However, now, when shooting has progressed and she has already shot two scenes, she was suddenly developing cold feet.
"We discussed about it right?" Ashwin asked calmly after Shivangi's monologue on how she was feeling.
"Ellam teriyum." She said almost impatient for she was not ready for repeat of things she already knows. She only wants a quick solution that helps her to get out of this situation.
(I know)
Ashwin exhaled deeply. He didn't know what to do. Maybe he was older than her, more experienced in general life, but being with her was as new to him as it was for her with him. They were learning in this department together. So, even though standing by her when she has any dilemma comes with the territory, he knows, he was not very sure how to help her.
Ashwin thought long and hard before he asked next question. "Naan varuta?"
(Shall I come there?)
If he was in front of her, Ashwin knew for sure she would have stiffened. He tries his best to not take it personal when she avoids him or his association. He understands she is too conscious about being seen with him even in most professional setting. In her defence, she claims she isn't yet as seasoned as him emotionally, mentally and physically to be in his presence and pretend that they are not hiding something important about themselves to the world. She says she is troubled by constant fear in back of her head wondering what if she says or does that gives away more than necessary. They are no more small time TV celebrities and both are already becoming a brand. She wanted to be safe and not sorry.
Ashwin knew chance for his request to be declined was high. Ashwin can promise her complete privacy. The whole team she was working with are his friends. However, he will always leave it up to her to make decision and not try to influence it.
Even as she was taking time to answer, Ashwin was making ideas on how else to make her feel better, he heard, "Vareengala?"
(Will you come?)
________________
The set was made only one hour away from Ashwin's house and he used his journey time to call his friends in set to call for early lunch break so when Ashwin visits them, only the main ones who care about them enough to respect the privacy will be present.
Her makeup room was empty but for her who was munching at what looked like a large box of yogurt. Frown lines were plastered on her forehead even as her head was nodding to some song playing through earpods she had plugged in.
As a greeting, Ashwin stopped her hand feeding her next bite of yoghurt and took it for himself. The immediate sourness made him realize that he still has more getting used to with what seemed like her obsession.
He clicked his tongue to get rid of the taste as he pulled the chair in front of her to sit.
"Ippo sollunga madam." He said
(Whats bothering you?)
As answer, her lips only pouted in disdain as if that should be enough explanation for him.
Ashwin took the yogurt box from her, placed near her on the small couch and took her one hand in his. He entwined his fingers with her, tightened his grip, before he looked up at her eyes.
That gesture was enough for Shivangi to know that he knew what was bothering her. She didn't care who told him, might have been director, this moment she was more concerned about solving her conundrum.
"Idhu dan prachanaya?" he asked as his thumb caressed the joint between his thumb and pointed finger.
(Is this your problem?)
Shivangi didn't know what the intention behind his touch was, but it was strangely reducing her anxiety.
It was supposed to be female song for love. Shivangi knew the whole scenario. However, two weeks ago, his director called her to inform that music director had added last verse with male voice and they would like to introduce a man in the song. The song was still going to be about her, the man will not have a face, but just presence in the video. They had already booked a aspiring actor who is model.
"Summa nadakardhu, pakkathula ukkaradhu, guitar vasikardhu." Director explained and it made complete sense to Shivangi then.
(Simple shots like talking, walking together)
Now, on shoot day, when scene was briefed where the male actor was supposed to hold her hand, entwine his fingers with her and place a peck on the back of her palm, Shivangi panicked.
No, she was no prude to think it was scandalous. She, in fact, truly believed there was nothing wrong with the way scene was orchestrated. What made her queasy was doing something that she had not mentally prepared herself for.
If it was song she knew where to pause, where to increase pitch, where to add a twist, but this was acting and Shivangi's instincts were not yet attuned enough to guide her on this and she panicked.
What was right hold, what was right pressure, how to not be stiff, how not squirm at the peck?
Naturally, she panicked.
"Do you remember how I told you acting is very very technical and mechanical process?" Ashwin asked and she nodded how he explained to her all this before he was supposed to shoot an intimate scene for his movie. Not that she had any qualms with it, but he felt like he owed her explanation. "Ippo..." he drawled
"Teriyum." She snapped.
(i know)
How does she tell him that she already knows and understands what he is going to say, but she only has problem in putting it to action.
"Its all in timing Shivangi." He continued not bothered by her snap. He by now is getting used to her ways and also understand that more than often isn't directed at him. "Dance maari count vechuko."
(Like dance you can keep counts)
Ashwin then began to utter numbers as he bent forward. "Five. Six. Seven." He placed a peck on her hand."Eight." he finished.
Shivangi watched him with surprised wide eyes as if he hasn't done this or more before.
"Aana, shooting la neenga iruka maateeenga." She tried to reason
(It isn't you with whom I will be shooting)
"Ingayum naan illa nu nenachuko. Think of it as a process. Like a dance."
(Even here forget its me. Think of it as a process. Like a dance.)
When she looked confused about what he was saying, Ashwin walked out of the room, met with director of the song who is also a friend, then returned after ten minutes.
"Vaa." He held Shivangi's hand and took her to set where next scene was to be shot.
________________
Sivaangi's heart beat increased and so did her anxiety. It has been six shots and she was still not getting it right.
She could sense even her team was getting frustrated. She sneaked a look at Ashwin who was standing beside the cameraman with mask , glass and cap covering him making him unrecognizable. He nodded as if asking her to stay calm, but it didn't help.
Six shots! How can she not get just one scene right.
One more shot and she might just end up crying. As if sensing her distress, Ashwin walked to the director and whispered something in his ears. Soon, director announced break.
Karan hesitated as he shifted between legs as he saw Shivangi get ready for the scene. Currently, only Karan and Cinematographer Aravind were present along with Ashwin and Shivangi in the place where next shot was planned. Ashwin had told Karan Shivangi wanted to rehearse once along and he readily accepted. However, now Aravind was placing a request that karan was sure will rile up Ashwin.
"Record ah!" Ashwin's voice was edgy and Shivangi looked up from where she was seated with wary
"Summa monitor paaka." Karan immediately reasoned. "Shoot panni paatha Shivangi ku better clarity irukum illa."
(Just to look at output. Shivangi might get clarity.)
Ashwin's rational part of brain said it was stupidity. It was already scandalous enough that he was going to enact the scene with her. If anyone leaks it, it is going to be viral. Now, letting camera record it was too risky.
"Adellam vendam machan." Ashwin said
(It is unnecessary.)
"Monitor paathutu, udane delete paneerlam. " Karan turned to Shivangi. "Ungaluku easy ah irukum next time andha paiyan kooda shoot pannum podhu."
(Might help to improve when she is working with the actor. We can delete later.)
Ashwin was about to deny firmly this time when he heard Shivangi ask, "Delete paneeduveengala?"
(Will you delete it?)
And thus was shot the seventh shot.
Ashwin waited for another one hour until her ninth shot with the actual actor was approved. Before leaving the sets, while waving bye to his director friend Ashwin said, "Machan, 7th shot. Marandaradha. Delete paneedunga."
(Buddy, don't forget to delete 7th shot)
________________
3 days ago
Karan's face lost colour as he saw what was being played in front of him. He didn't know the first time or second time or tenth time. When now, he was watching it for fifteenth time for final cuts before it can be sent to music director he finally noticed it.
He panicked as he turned to editor, "Adhu 7th shot ah? Delete panna sonnen la. Edhuku main video la vecheenga?"
(Isnt that from 7th shot? Didn't you delete it? Why is that in main video?)
It was a blink and miss. Maybe just five seconds. Just Ashwin's lips gracing her hand and the sun from behind making the perfect hallow behind making the shot look heavenly. If things were right, this could have been their poster. That frame looked no less than a priceless shot by any international technician. However, ethically, Karan realized how wrong it was to add it to video.
"Producer kitta ketu dan vechen."
(I have producer's permission)
Karan immediately took his cinematographer and producer in line.
"Ivlo edhuku tension aagareenga, Karan." Aravind remarked casually. "Gold maari shot adhu. Enna lighting, enna frame. Epdi delete panna. Andha lighting and frame perfect ah iruku."
(Chill, Karan. Its a gold shot with perfect lighting and frame.How can I delete it? Its perfect )
"Sir, nambala nambi dana record panna othukittanga. Idhu tappu."
(This is unethical. He trusted us)
"Karan!" producer called. "Moonji terilai illa. Yaarunu audience ku puriyadhu. In fact, Ashwin ke teriyadhu, adhu Ashwin lips nu. Idhuku time waste pannadeenga. Poi final cut ready pannunga." He said with finality.
(His face isn't seen. No one will find out. Not even him. Worry not)
Karan knew to pick his battles. Even though Ashwin is a good friend, he was not willing to risk making such big names from industry angry by trying to be righteous. So, he decided to face things as it comes.
________________
Present
It was Shivangi who first saw the video, recognized what had happened with the 7th shot immediately and sent it for Ashwin to see. To even him, it took more than few minutes to realize it was him and her in the frame.
Ever since, all attempts of Ashwin to reach the makers was futile.
"Fans kandu pudichitangala?" Ashwin asked after some time.
(Have fans found out?)
"Terila." Shivangi said still in same posting of comfort. "Enaku social media paakave bayama iruku."
(I don't know. I am scared to even check social media.)
Ashwin was equally scared. This could ruin many things and even bring them both down if media or troll gets their hands on fact that it was Ashwin in the shot.
Bracing himself, he took his phone and opened twitter. Shivangi closed her eyes as she was still not ready to check social media. Strangely, he realized, Ms Social Butterfly was scared more about social media than him who is not very aware of how things works. Probably, that is the reason, he concluded. She gave social media importance and reaction there meant something to her, while he believed more on actual human interaction and organic response.
Ashwin spent twenty minutes scrolling content that was posted until five hours ago. He even checked Ids of some people who he stalks to know what is being discussed with using hashtags. A relief sigh left his lips when he realized no one was speaking about what they both feared.
"Illaya?" Shivangi was surprised. "Yaarum onnume pesalaya?" Ashwin nodded a no. "Haters kooda?" Ashwin nodded again.
(No one is speaking about it? Not even haters?)
Shivangi took out her phone from the pocket of her pant. "Ungaluku endha Ids check pannanumne teriyadhu." She said as she began working on her phone to open few Ids she has bookmarked.
(You don't know what Ids to check)
As soon as Ashwin saw who it was he said, "Naan dan block panna sonnen la andha ID."
(I told you to block those Ids, didn't I?)
Shivangi didn't reply as she was busy shifting Ids and scrolling through tweets.
After few minutes, she turned to Ashwin with her eyes brimming with mix of surprise and relief. "Yaarum kandu pudikala."
(No one found out)
Ashwin shrugged. "Kandupudikalayo, pesalayo."
(Maybe they found out but not talking about it)
Shivangi nodded. It was possible that many were stopping themselves from openly talking about few things which wouldn't be the first time fans are helping them by not giving out some things.
Shivangi sighed as she leaned back on the seat.
"Evlo bayanden teriyuma?"
(I was scared)
"Irundalum naan direct ah production house poi pesaren. " Ashwin said. "Ippo kandu pudikalainalum, eppavena yaar vena leak pannalam. Avanga initial views eduthutanga. At least ippo konjan decency kaati delete panrangala papom."
(It is still risky. People can leak it in future too. I will talk to producers. They got their initial views. At least now, let them show some ethics and delete the clip.)
Shivangi smiled at him for first time since she sat in his car. Her smile also relaxed him and made him more determined that he has to handle the issue just so she keeps smiling carefree like this.
"Delete aagradhuku munnadi naan clip save pannikaren." She giggled as she played the video which she was hesitating to watch fully until then. "Future la nalla memory ah irukum."
(Let me save clip before its gone. Will be good memory for our future.)
"Ipdi future memory ku irukanum nu dan paadhi vishayam panni maatikarom." He complained but she was busy in saving the video.
(Half the things we do for our future memory only puts us in a spot.)
Once she was done, Shivangi turned to him and asked with a hopeful smile, "Neenga ellam paathupeenga dana?"
(Will you take care of everything?)
"Eppavum paathupen. Trust me."
(I will. Trust me)
She did just that, trust him , and he as usual solidified it.
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