The loudness of beeping cars and the bustling noises of busy people zip past my ears as I push my way through the rush hour crowd. It's the middle of December and it's freezing cold outside. Six thirty, I'm not late. Not yet.
George, who has already booked the entire day off, called me just about an hour and a half ago, to be sure that I hadn't forgotten. "Of course not," I'd promised over the phone. "How could I?"
But now, here I am. Running through working people who are all trying to get home on a Sunday evening. They probably think that's where I'm headed, too. Home.
Okay, so maybe I did forget, but it really, really wasn't my fault. We had three record deals passing through this evening and I had to be there, it just wasn't something I could get out of this time.
Wilbur also made me call up a bunch of the new guys who have just joined the company to set up a meeting tomorrow, and that took me all of an hour to work around everyone's schedules and by then I was really, really pushing my luck with the time.
The relief that washes over my shoulders when I get through the still-open doors of the large beige building just before seven is immeasurable. I'm still in my work clothes, but who will know the difference?
The guy stood at reception nods at me, taking one look at my face before he understands why I'm here. "Just down the hall, second double door on your right."
I flash him a brief smile, before rushing off down the way he directed me. Outside the double doors theres a sign, stood reading 'oldbrooke fifth grade dance recital.'
The door doesn't creak, it slides open smoothly and quietly, just to my delight. I almost, literally, let out a sigh of relief when I see that the stage is still left empty.
I shuffle my way up through the seats once I spot George, staring down accusingly at me whilst I move between people to my seat beside him, mumbling apologies to the people I have to slip by. The hall is dark, the only light source is the empty spot of silver directed at the stage.
"You forgot," he hisses, as soon as I sit down. He slaps me lightly on the arm with the list of songs and information about the recital. "I reminded you this morning, I called you not that long ago and you still forgot."
I lean in, pressing a kiss to the side of his head as he slaps me again lightly with the booklet. "I'm sorry" I murmur. "I'm here now, I wasn't technically late, I'm here."
"You're unbelievable," he says, but I know that he isn't mad. He get's how my work can be. His hand reaches over the side of his own chair, onto mine, and his fingers slot between my own. "Long day?"
"Very long day," I sigh, making sure to keep my voice low like the other people surrounding us are. His fingers squeeze mine, and his head slides over to rest gently against my shoulder.
"When we get home, I'll take care of homework and dinner and whatever else, and you can have a glass of wine," he assures me, his hair bristling the side of my face. It smells like raspberries, like his shampoo.
I turn my head to the side, so I can kiss his raspberry smelling hair. "Do you know how much I love you?" I whisper, letting my lips linger against the fluff of his hair. It tickles.
He just laughs quietly, and lets his fingers squeeze mine again. The two of us, and all the people around us, are silenced by the sudden start of music, and the shine of now golden lights that appear on the stage.
***
George and I wait in the reception area for all the kids to be let out from the hall. I'm deadly tired, my feet ache and I'm more then ready to fall into bed, but George is all smiles and can't stop beaming about how well Jane did.
"Did you see her turns towards the end? She's been worrying about them for weeks, oh, she's going to be delighted, she did so well," he smiles to me, his hand perched on my arm as he talks to nobody in particular. I nod along, smiling at the brightness of his smile.
When the doors finally open and a bunch of kids come running out, she stands in the crowd of them, her eyes searching the mix of parents until she finally spots us. She's still in her leotard and tutu.
When her eyes find George and I, she comes running. George takes his hand off of my arm to open his arms, which she jumps right into once she's close enough, her smile wide and laughs tumbling from her throat.
"Jane!" George erupts, letting her go from his arms just so he can get a proper look at her. She's still smiling, looking glad that she's made us proud. "You were amazing, sweetheart, you were so, so good!"
She looks away, up at me, clearly embarrassed and happy due to the rush of attention. I smile down at her, and reach a hand out to ruffle the hair she's already taken out of the neat plaits George had did before she went on stage. "Really?" she asks.
"He's right, you were great," I grin, as George nods along to my words and takes Janes backpack from her shoulder. "What do you say we get some food on the way home, instead of dad cooking?"
"Yes!" she smiles, her tutu bouncing a little when she jumps. "Can we get chocolate waffles after, too?" she asks, walking alongside me and George as we turn and head down the hall and out of the building.
In the time we've spent inside, it's begun to snow. This isn't surprising, it's pretty late in the year and we've already had a few snowfalls already. The snow is coming down pretty heavily, and the car is parked a little bit away, so I usher the other two along so as to prevent anyone getting sick from the cold.
"Only because you did so well," George beams, which is a total lie, both Jane and I know he would get her ice cream whether or not she did good. He would get her ice cream on no special occasion, all she'd have to do was ask.
We walk the five minutes to Georges parked car, and Jane climbs into the back happily, clearly not caring about anything else now that she has the promise of takeout and dessert.
"Where's Nate?" she asks from the backseat of the car, only now realizing the seats beside her are empty, and that they were never with us in the first place. "And Ethan— did they not come too?"
I indicate out onto the busy road, and George turns around to face Jane slightly in the back of the car. "They're at Tom's, it was a parents only event tonight," he tells her, "but they really, really wanted to come. They'll be there next time."
She pouts, but lets it go pretty quickly, bursting into question about how she really did, asking if she was on time for her turns, and a million other questions that I leave for George to answer because we both know he'll answer them better than me.
They talk all the way to Tommy's house, which is on the outskirts of town. George and Jane stay put, whilst I climb from the parked car, the two of them still deep in discussion when I do.
The noise of the doorbell fills the quiet and cold Winter night. I can see little snowflakes starting to collect on the sleeve of my jacket. It rings, and that's the only surrounding sound, until I hear the opening of a door and footsteps down the hall inside. Tommy answers the front door in a colourful sweater.
"Hey! We weren't expecting you for another little while," he says, holding Ethan in his arms, who just smiles and giggles as Tommy bounces him lightly on the spot. "Do you want to come in? I haven't really packed up their stuff yet."
"Yeah, alright, just for a minute, we still have to grab dinner," I answer, taking Ethan from Tommy's outstretched arms as I walk in through the doorway, closing over the door behind me.
"Hello, hello sweetness, how are you?" I coo gently as I follow Tommy down his hall and towards the kitchen, smiling idiotically at the smile on Ethans face. He's a quiet baby, a happy one, too, unlike Jane and Nate, who never stopped crying when they were his age.
Tubbo and Nate are sat in Tommy's living room, the two of them sat watching one of the cars movies together. Nate smiles when he spots me, and waves out to the kitchen. I wave back with my free hand.
"Were they any trouble?" I ask Tommy. "I'm sorry that it was all so last minute, Wilbur got called out for work and we really couldn't find anyone else with such little time."
"Oh, no, they were fine!" Tommy tells me, packing up the baby bag for Ethan that we left with him. Tommy knows the ropes by now, he minded Nate a few times when he was still young. He does it carefully, putting everything back in the right slots they were in before we left. "Seriously, we can mind them anytime that you need us to, they're great."
I smile, and thank him, and then I help him pack the rest of the bag, still holding the bubbly Ethan who can't stop chewing his fingers in one of my arms. Once the bag is packed, I peek my head through the living room doors, causing both Tubbo and Nate to look over at me.
"Hey, buddy, it's time to go," I tell Nate, who gives me a slightly upset look, but shuffles off the edge of the couch, and starts to pull on his shoes. Tubbo pauses the film, and assures Nate that they can finish it together the next time he comes around.
I pull the baby bag over my shoulder, and Nate shuffles behind me out of the living room and towards the kitchen, yawning as he goes. Tommy walks us back out to the front door. Tubbo shouts goodbye from inside.
"Can we come back soon?" Nate asks Tommy, standing beside my leg, his hand holding mine. His jacket is only half on him, he hasn't got his other arm in.
"You can come back whenever you want," Tommy tells him, fixing his jacket. Nate looks thrilled, and allows his jacket to be fixed.
"Thank you again!" I call over my shoulder, as I lead Nate and carry Ethan back down Tommy's front yard and towards the car. It's cold, and Ethan looks entranced with the snow that's still falling from the sky. I laugh a little to myself at the look on his face.
"No problem!" Tommy calls after me. Nate opens his own side of the car, and I catch him waving back over to Tommy before he shuts the door. Tommy smiles, and waves too. I make a mental note to send him a gift tomorrow, for his willingness to look after the two boys this evening.
***
"So Tom said— next time we play on his computer, I can play the zombie game because by then, I'll be older," Nate states proudly, lifting a dinosaur shaped chicken nugget to his mouth, one that I'm sure must be cold by now, once he's finished talking.
It's pretty late when we get home. Usually, all the kids would of been in bed at least two hours ago, and yeah, it is a Sunday, but sometimes you can't always stick exactly to the schedule. Jane and Nate are still up, but George managed to get Ethan down around an hour ago.
Soon, definitely over the next few days, the house will be overtaken with the excitement of putting up christmas decorations and making lists for when santa claus should be arriving in the next few weeks. Christmas is Georges favorite time of year, and all of the kids favorite time of year and just because of that it's kind of become my favorite, too.
Sapnap always comes to stay with us for thanksgiving and for new years and if we're lucky, he'll come by on christmas too. We try to get everyone back together for christmas a few days before for a big meal, the band, any partners or friends, everyone. This year it falls just two days after christmas. It's always something to look foward to, it's great to see everyone all together again.
"Well, aren't you lucky?" George says, still trying to keep the conversation rolling even though I know he has only half of an understanding of what Nate is talking about. I've started to clean down the table where we ate, packing away the rubbish from the food as I go, but George is quick to take over.
"You take them to bed, I'll do the rest," he mumbles, pressing a heartfelt kiss to the side of my face, taking the slightly dampened tea towel from my hands before he takes to cleaning up himself. The wave of thankfulness that runs through me is indescribable.
"Right, it's long past your bedtimes," I call, ruffling through Nates hair as I slip by him. "Last one up the stairs has to do the dishes for a week!" I call, then quickly turning myself and darting down the hall and towards the stairs, feeling smug when I hear the patter of their legs running quickly after me. Kids can be so dumb. I can hear George laughing back in the kitchen.
Nate is still a little bit of a pain when it comes to bedtimes, but tonight, he seems to be alright. Maybe it's because the busyness of today has tired him out. Either way, he crawls up into bed once he's changed into his pajamas, and he even yawns once I lift the covers up over him.
"Story?" I ask, getting ready to settle down beside his bed, because Nate always wants a story. He needs a story to sleep. What shocks me is him shaking his head, and yawning again before I can even get over the shock of him shaking his head.
"Alright, if you say so," I answer, switching the night light beside his bed on, and lifting his pink dinosaur down to rest beside his pillow. He takes it in his hands, smiling at me thankfully.
I stand, and then lean my head down to press a short kiss to Nates head. "Goodnight, buddy," I whisper, as I try to move from the room without making any noise at all. Ethans bedroom is just one room over.
My hand lifts to knock lightly on Janes bedroom door before I open it. Her voice carries softly throughout the room, mumbling a quiet 'come in.' She sounds tired, which is to be expected. She's been preparing for weeks for her recital, I bet she'll sleep well tonight knowing she did so well.
She's laid in bed, hair brushed, with her dirty recital clothes in her laundry basket instead of on the floor. When I look to her desk, I see her uniform laid over the back of her desks chair, and her schoolbag all ready for tomorrow morning. She's like a self cleaning oven.
"You're an angel, did you know that?" I tell her, smoothing out her bedcovers. She smiles up at me, and sinks down a little further into her pillow. "You did amazing today, sweetheart. You really did. I hope you're proud of yourself."
She smiles, humbly, like she always does. She's not one for bragging, she never really searches for compliments or swims in them when she does get them. She'll thank you, she'll get flustered a lot of the time, and then she tries to move on as quickly as she can.
The snowfall tonight seems to have turned the neighborhood silent, like it always does. The snow always makes everything seem silent, like some sort of spell. There's not a sound from the world outside.
"Thank you, dad," she says quietly, smiling at me quickly before getting comfy. I pull the covers up around her, and she snuggles down into them, the smile still sitting on her lips.
I bend my head down to kiss the top of her head, before I stand and switch off her bedroom light. "Goodnight, angel. Sleep well," I whisper into the room. I can make out her hand blowing me a kiss from where she's laying sleepily. I'm smiling when I close over her bedroom door.
My feet are light on the stairs, but George still somehow manages to hear me, and waits for me at the bottom, his arms welcoming. I practically fall into his grip, feeling that same sense of home when he holds me gently and lets his face rest against my chest.
"Tired?" he mumbles. My chin rests in the mess of his hair, my arms link loosely around his body. Tired doesn't even begin to explain it, the day has seemed so terribly long. I'm still in my suit shirt and trousers, though I ditched the jacket long ago now.
"Very," is all I get out in response, relishing in the closeness of his body. His hair smells like raspberry oils, telling me he did probably wash it this morning. He feels so warm, so cosy, like being under a blanket.
"Okay, what if we ditch the wine, and just watch television in bed instead?" he offers, head sliding out from under mine to look me in my eyes. He looks happy, like he doesn't care what I decide to do, like he only cares that I do it with him.
"What about wine— and television in bed?" I ask him, pressing a kiss to his forehead with hope that that will convince him to let me have what I want. He's annoyingly strict about food and drink in bed.
He looks at me, for a longer moment, like he's genuinely considering my suggestion. I can tell that he's holding back a smile. Before he can answer I kiss him on the head again and turn to quickly take the stairs two at a time.
"You get the wine and I'll turn on the television!" I whisper-shout down to him, gleeful and satisfied that my plan has worked. He shakes his head disapprovingly, but still jogs down the hall and back towards the kitchen, in search of a good bottle of wine and two glasses.
Life is easy. Life is so beautiful and easy and I never could've imagined things could be so good, but they are, and I can't think of anything else I want in life. The days may seem long sometimes and yes, I get tired, but it's all so, so worth it when I get to come home into his arms and my children's happy faces and the world that I've built on family and friendship and kindness and love.
Some people would say my life is boring, but every single day is new and different whilst I have him here with me.
I've come to the conclusion that everything will always be okay, as long as I have him here with me, and I'm pretty sure he would say the exact same about me, too.