"Because I fought him?" Luke asks.
Cobie frowns. "What?"
"You're disappointed in me because I took the bait and punched your ex-boyfriend?"
Cobie frowns deeper. Do they still speak the same language? "No!"
Luke takes a few steps toward her, his eyes boring into her eyes. "It's because of the kiss?" His question sounds more like a conclusion than an answer.
"Yes." Cobie glances at the door. "Can you please close the door? I don't want to have an uninvited audience for this."
Luke obliges. He then saunters back to her bed, putting one hand on his waist while the other hand rubs the back of his neck. "I knew it was going to create some friction between us even though you said it was no biggie. Still, it felt like we still needed to talk more about it, but you've been dodging me for a week."
"I've been dodging you because I'm upset, Luke."
He drops his head and sighs before carefully sitting down on the edge of her bed. "I felt bad about it and I still do. I was carried away, Cobie, I didn't think about the consequences of my action and how it would affect you."
"So...by saying you regret kissing me in the next fifteen hours would affect me any less?"
Luke snaps his head at her. "Huh? I didn't say that. I said I shouldn't have done it that night but I listened more to my urges. It was a reckless move."
Cobie tilts her head, trying to make sense of his reply. "I don't see the difference. To me, you just wanted to get rid of me the next day after you...we had fun."
"I didn't want to get rid of you. I wanted us to rethink carefully what we were getting into," Luke says. He gets up and walks back and forth on the other side of her bedroom. "But I'm confused now. You were the one who said it was not a big deal, and that you wanted to go ahead with the guy from the dating site."
"I..." Did she say that? Right, she did. But in her defense, it was the first thing she could think of to hold her self-esteem in place.
"I was trying to tell you how sorry I was for taking advantage of the situation but you made it like it was nothing, and I thought I was just overthinking it." Luke stops pacing, and leans against her desk, hands crossing his arms over his chest. "And you became distant. I wasn't sure what was going on but I thought it was because you were also having a lot to deal with at home. I honestly didn't know you were upset with me."
"Wait. Taking advantage of the situation you said?"
"Your situation, yeah. You were having a lot on your plate, and the last thing you needed was a complicated situation with someone at work. I swear I genuinely wanted to help and be your friend that night when you cried." Luke flinches and glances at her. "Until my self-control went down the drain."
"Oh." That's all Cobie can say for a good thirty seconds. "That's why you said it was a mistake?"
Luke nods. "I like you. A lot. But it felt like we were starting this at the wrong point. I wanted to talk about it with you further but then you told me about that freaking breadhead." Luke almost growls when he mentions Peter's online name.
"Oh." Cobie closes her eyes, inwardly smacking herself for being so immature. "I...um...I didn't mean that. Let me rephrase it." Cobie pinches the bridge of her nose. "When you said it was a mistake, I thought you were trying to get rid of me. I thought you were just playing with my feelings like a typical playboy. And I use Breadpitt to dodge the misery of being ditched by someone who wasn't even my boyfriend."
Luke doesn't move on his spot. Cobie is almost sure he doesn't breathe, either. Like a statue, his eyes are fixed on the cream rugs on her bedroom floor for a good ten seconds.
"I wasn't planning to date BreadPitt. I wasn't even feeling too excited to meet him, but refusing to see him while he's around feeling a bit cruel, you know." Cobie's fingers fumble with the fluffy throw pillow on her lap. "I lied to you because I couldn't take the feeling of being dumped. And I'm sorry for that."
Luke is still immobile. Cobie would give all her sticky note collections if she could read what is in his mind. Is he mad? Is he disappointed? Or is he just doesn't know how to react to this new fact?
"Is that why Peter asked if I was the guy who ditched girls after leading them on? You told him that?"
Cobie groans. "Yes, but he doesn't know any further than that."
Luke sighs. "Cobie..." He rubs his hands over his face, wincing slightly when he caresses his jaw. "You should have confronted me on the spot. Why make assumptions and act on them?"
That's a good question, but she doesn't know how to answer that. Maybe she just didn't know how to confront others. Maybe she didn't know how to not make assumptions. Because that was the only way she knew to survive the aftermath of the tragedy in high school.
"I think it's partly my fault, too. I didn't word my points properly." Luke lifts his gaze at Cobie, his hazel eyes boring into hers. "I never regret kissing you, Cobie. Hell, I would do it again, and again, if we were under different circumstances."
"I know I'm so much work and I need to fix that." She leans back and looks up at the ceiling. Memories, traumas, resentments toward her dad and Peter, rationalizations, and denials are swirling inside her head. She can't point out which is which, let alone decide what to do with them. At least, not right now.
"I wouldn't say you're so much work, but you do need to work on your past trauma, or it will stop you from trusting anyone."
"Yeah."
"That night, you looked so lost, seeking something to hold on to. I pushed my way in and you accepted my help, starting to open up to me, but then I pounced on you, using the moment when you were unlikely to reject me. Because you were defenseless. I was such an asshole." Luke shakes his head. "But didn't you see this is what Peter did to you too back then?"
"You are not Peter."
"I know I'm not. I'm glad I'm not." He smiles. "I'm not ready to face your mom's wrath."
Cobie chuckles. "Mom loves us so much. If you attack one of her pack members, you're dead meat."
"I can see that."
Loud footsteps approach from the hall, prompting them to stop talking. Two knocks on the door and her mom pushes the door open.
"Everything's good? I was just on the phone with Martha, and she said she would come and check your ankle tomorrow," her mom says while looking at her swollen ankle. "You need to keep moving it, but do it very gently for now."
"Okay."
"Are you eating with us, Luke?"
Luke jumps out of his seat. "I'm afraid I can't, Eliza. I need to meet a friend for dinner." He smiles, a little bit too wide for Cobie's liking. "I believe it's my cue to leave and let Cobie rest."
Not wanting to show her disappointment, Cobie forces a smile. "Alright. Thank you for today, Luke."
"My pleasure. Call me if you need anything. Get some rest, Cobie."
"I'll see you out," her mom says, glancing at her with a subtle grin before pivoting on her heels, following Luke downstairs.
Staring at her laptop screen, Cobie contemplates deactivating her online dating account. Her cursor pointer hovers over the "Deactivate" box, and she's so close to clicking it and cutting off any connections to Peter forever, but the voice in the corner of her head stops her. Is she sure about this? Does she do the right thing? Has she got all the answers she deserves?
What answer does she need by the way?
Peter hasn't changed that much from how she remembers him, but he said he was sorry. Shouldn't that be enough? What else does she possibly want from him that the boy is capable of giving? Make him pay for what he has done to her? In what way? In all honesty, she doesn't even want to have anything to do with him anymore.
But why can't she even click the deactivate button?
A soft knock echoes from her bedroom door before it's pushed open slowly. Rose's head sticks out. "Do you need anything from the kitchen before I go to bed?"
"Hmm. I'm not sure. It's less painful — thanks to the aspirin, so I think I can manage to grab what I need myself later," Cobie replies, not fully sure about her own answer.
Rose pushes the door wider. "I don't think that is a good idea. You need to be very careful in the first twenty-four hours."
"I am careful. I've been staying in my bed since I came home, right?"
"If it doesn't improve on Sunday, we're getting it checked."
Cobie sighs. "We can wait until a few days, but fine."
Rose stares at her, frowning as if she's thinking about something serious. "Should I sleep here with you tonight? So you can wake me up if you need anything?"
Not believing her ears, Cobie looks up at her sister. "Will you?"
"I just offered you, didn't I?"
Cobie smiles and nods. "That would be great."
In the next fifteen minutes, Rose climbs the other side of Cobie's bed, hugging her favorite Hello Kitty pillow. It's been a while since her sister spent the night in her room. Dating Harry kept her busy talking to him at night when she didn't have work to catch up on at home, or coming home late when Cobie was already asleep.
"Your boss is hot by the way," she says as she carefully settles next to her. "And I can tell he likes you."
"He's such a sight for sore eyes indeed."
Rose giggles. "It must be chaotic to have a boss like that at work."
"You just summed up my two years of work life."
"So, is he single and available?"
The question hits Cobie like a bucket of water. Is he single? According to him, yes and no. Is he available? Despite the kiss and the confession that he liked her, is he available for anything serious?
"I'm not so sure, to be honest."
"Will you say yes if he asks you out?"
"Uh."
"Uh?"
"I don't think he's going to do that." Cobie scoots her butt farther down so that she can lie flat. Carefully, she turns her body to the side to face her sister. "At least not now. Enough about me. How about you? How do you feel now?"
Rose sighs, holding her pillow closer to her chest. "I don't know. A tad bit better but it still stings sometimes. Mom said it'll get easier every day."
"It is. I promise." Cobie hesitantly extends her hand, checking Rose's reaction before she gently brushes her sister's blonde hair that falls across her face. "And I'm sorry I didn't tell you the truth. I just didn't want to make you worried. I swear there was no other reason."
"Yeah, okay. I guess the way I reacted every time you guys joked around made you think I couldn't handle the truth." Rose frowns, biting her lower lip. "But maybe I was a bit nervous when you two talked about something I didn't understand. I felt excluded."
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way," Cobie says. "I was inconsiderate."
"Maybe it's me who needs fixing, too."
Cobie frowns. "It's my fault. I made you like this."
"What are you talking about?"
Cobie turns to the side, facing the ceiling again. "After what happened to me in high school, I've been projecting my own fear on your relationship with Harry. I kept seeing him as if I saw Peter while they were totally different persons. And I forced you to see him through my perception."
"But our breakup is not your fault. He wanted to do something else in life, without me in it. It doesn't have anything to do with you."
"That's the domino effect of what I did."
"I still don't see it like that," Rose replies after giving it a thought for a while. "I've never been the strong girl in my life. I might have taken your words like I eat mom's food every day, but isn't that how family works?"
"Maybe. I don't know." Cobie shrugs. " It could've been better, though."
"Okay," Rose replies, not arguing further. "And I'm sorry for saying that you were just like Dad. It was out of anger, and I didn't mean it. If anything, you have way more than our father could give."
Cobie turns her head to look at Rose, feeling the trickling sensation in the corners of her eyes. "You're making me cry."
"Good. I'm tired of crying. We can take a turn now." She takes Cobie's hand in hers. "No more lies, especially when it comes to boys. Deal?"
"About that...I have something I need to tell you." Cobie winces. "The day you left the house, I called Harry and we had an argument. In the end, I made him promise to leave you alone for good, and he agreed. I'm going to need to call him again and take that back."
It takes a while for Rose to respond to her confession. "You can do it if you want, but you don't need to. It's not like he's going to fight for me even if he didn't make any promise."
"You're not mad about it?" Cobie asks and immediately feels relieved when Rose shakes her head. "No more lies from this point onward."
It's when her phone chimes from an incoming message, prompting Cobie to prop up and look for her phone. Rose sees it first and grabs it from under Cobie's pillow.
"Here. Look who can't wait to talk to you again." Rose giggles.
Luke: Did they work btw? Did the rules help?
Cobie: What rules?
Luke: How to not fall for my boss.
Cobie freezes. Slowly, she turns her head to the note board above her desk. Her breath hitches in her throat once she notices all her Post-it notes are gone. No.
Cobie: You took them with you!
Luke: Goodnight, Evans.
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