Jabari
Wednesday Evening
Today was the first and probably the LAST time all after school activities were canceled. No football even, would you look at God? Mama never cancels practice, so I'm sure those troublemakers were on a high. Anything to get away from cuts. I hope they're enjoying their small vacation.
I was happy at first I had the whole afternoon to myself to do whatever..I wanted. From four o'clock until. It was strange. I can't remember the last time I came straight home from school with this much time on my hands. Since I was small I was always doing SOMETHING. Peewee ball, little league, ymca, performing arts, church, vbs, community service, you name it I was doing it. I didn't know any kid more booked and busy than myself. Mama never wanted us to be the kids that did absolutely nothing and she succeeded. It's practically engrained in me to be active in some way. Now you see my issue here. God, is this what it was like to have absolutely nothing to do?!? This shit is outrageous. I was getting less and less happy about it as I dreaded time.
Eventually I started doing laps around the house, up and down halls, sliding down the stair railing. Which, was way too much fun for a period of time. Until I busted my ass and decided enough was enough. I forgot I needed my arms and legs for a second.
I was lying to myself thinking maybe I was gonna find something worth meddling in or mysterious in the house I'd only spent my whole life in. Trust there was disappointment after opening every closet and peeking into every cranny with no avail. I wasn't looking for anything I just reached a new high of boredom. I peaked into Hakeem's and Radijah's rooms only once because I knew if I lingered, I was gonna be in a sad mood. It sucks enough I can't physically touch them. I get in their beds sometimes. I miss them.
See, here I go.
Anyway..I got tired of all that and found myself laying on the damn rug in our den eating popcorn. I had to watch myself though, a single crumb in this den and I will need to order my casket in a Mississippi minute. I'm not supposed to eat in here, but my boredom is turning into rebelliousness, which I'm no stranger to. Wendy knows that. I also had to limit myself on the snacking, the pantry was full and I didn't hesitate to go in it for no reason at all. I wasn't even hungry, I'm just eating shit. I needed to stop because just this one day of pigging out was gonna catch up with me tomorrow. Eating junk shows on the field and I'm not interested in humiliating myself again. So I stopped. What came next? Only pondering what I could do until I lay down and go to sleep. Didn't have homework, I hated doing it so I finish in class. No exceptions. Read a book? Shid, I'll rue the day I have to open a book willingly.
I hated reading. Diamond would curse me out every time I say that, but Ian changing it.
If I picked up my football I wouldn't be able to put it down. If I cut on some music, I'd be making stuff up until I was satisfied. It took a while for me to be satisfied. It seemed there was nothing left. So, I settled for The Loud House. I never got a chance to sit and watch cartoons like a normal child. I.E. my entire resume. Is it weird to say that I'm sorta living a fantasy right now? I don't think so. I would've loved to be sprawled on the couch on a Saturday mornin, with a bowl of cereal, fully engaged in SpongeBob. Unfortunately I didn't have that luxury. It's almost as if my childhood was stolen from me in a way. But, that really makes me the thief.
Mama gave me choices and I made them for myself. She was right to do that, I fully agree. Sometimes I wish I chose differently though. My Gramma will forever get on to her for letting me be this involved with my life.
"Why are you so free range with Bari?" she'd ask her.
Listen, we're in the south. The Deep South, where specifically, black parenting, has very little to do with how the children feel and more so how the parents feel. That was Mama's upbringing. And she's not doing it with us. She was adamant about giving us the life she didn't have.
I don't expect her to reply in other way than a shoulder shrug. Like Gramma, stop being nosey, I do all this stuff cuz I'm allowed to. She really shouldn't be complaining cuz I go to church every Sunday, Sunday school, choir practice, bible study, revivals, pretty much all that she asks of me. The entire Bible Belt package, I partake in and yes, it is one-hundred percent not my choice. Don't get me wrong, I'll probably always be that church-boy, but I do it because of course, no one wants to upset their grandparents. Respect your elders yada. When you grow up Baptist, that's a motto you need to know.
And quite frankly, I'm over it. So she can really mind hers. Love you Gramma.
As long as my life looks under control on the outside that's all that matters. If anything comes crashing down I will handle it accordingly, simple. I don't have a word for the status of things at this very moment. Every day is so damn unpredictable it's ridiculous. So I will enjoy unwinding on this couch for the time being.
Couple minutes later..
Bored.
Damn. I was really tryna stay into it, but I can't sit still. I was zoning out constantly. Counting the many flowers decorating the walls was more exciting. Looking everywhere, but the tv, my eyes pondered to the foyer. Suddenly I get the chilly feeling I only recently started having going up the steps since the unexpected meeting with my coach. For some reason I wasn't thinking about it when my ass was sliding up and down the steps. Guess I was that entertained for the moment. Why does it happen now? *eye roll* Probably because my mind is empty and that particular spot could poison my thoughts.
Ugh. Imagine if all he had on was the chain and no shorts. Just fully ass out in the hallway. Honestly, he was close enough. I saw more than I'm willing to admit. And no, the darkness did NOT help. If anything the moonlight made him glow blue. A sight I have been tryna push out of my head. It's nearly impossible. Each time I have to look at him, I am reminded why he is on my shit list to begin with.
It's not like I'm a normal person that doesn't have to look at a perp every day after they catch them. This man is my coach and I'm expected to adhere to his authority. I tell you one thing, he lowered the hell outta them exceptions. He wasn't able to bark a single order at me if he wanted to. I'm starting to think he's getting a little scared based on how he backs off when I mug him.
Good.
And let me just say, I'm not a complete idiot. There was only one real, valid reason Calvin Davis could've ended up in the bind he did. I haven't built up the courage to say Mama is involved with him in some way. I knew there was truth to it. I'm just disappointed that they weren't better at hiding it from me. We all saw it coming if you ask me. The cheeky flirting, little favors, and giggles were dead give aways. However, I wasn't expecting what they were doing in the dark to be revealed to me in the dark. I was envisioning a much more organized spectacle. Actually fuck that, I didn't envision shit but my married-single mother. With that being said, he obviously didn't plan to bump into me so casually. If he hadn't then what? How much longer would he be tip toeing in the dead of night while I slept? I should be asking that of both of them. Mama is not excused, but notice how I'm giving her a little more slack. I didn't want to, but it felt like a crime not to. She couldn't do any wrong in my eyes. And this was wrong..as...hell.
Speak of the devil, here she go texting me.
Mama
On the way home
Ok
Be thinking of dinner ideas
I feel like we done had everything
Right
We'll figure it out when I get home chile
Alright
She brought me home from school and had to go right back for that big meeting, the reason everything was canceled. What was it about? Your guess was as good as mine.
Back to what I was saying. Yeah, I'm not giving her enough blame for the situation. You bet your ass I'm giving him most of it though. Here's the thing. Daddy's absence has been weighing on Mama's spirit for years. Married, but without her so called husband. I'm sure her love for him is drying up and she yearns for the void to be filled. Now this is what pisses me off. Davis knows, just like everybody else, about the strain her husband has put on this household. So for him to take advantage of her vulnerable state and finally sweep her off her feet is some straight bullshit. It makes me livid. Mama is not weak and I know she has held on for as long as she could with Daddy, but Davis...the fuck you doing?
Is this why your last marriage didn't work? You wreck homes when you're not coaching? Not shocked. Man..tell me why CoCo pissed me off the other day and I almost ran my fuckin mouth..I won't lie, I have been taunting the girl a little bit. She didn't do anything and would definitely be as sick as me right now if she knew, but I can't help it. She's easy to pick with cuz it's her dad. Our arguments are harmless and provide a space to get some frustrations off my chest. Why not take them out on Davis you ask? Welp. I'm afraid of going too hard in the paint and getting bumped down to junior varsity..which I feel would be a huge mistake. No doubt if CoCo told him we weren't getting along lately, he'd try to gather me. But whatever he might do is nothing compared to the amo I have. I so badly want to air it out. However, I'm gonna let things play out how they're meant to...until I have to step in and set some shit straight.
Believe it or not, my thumbs have hovered the keyboard several times to tell Hakeem, Radijah, and Diamond. Although these were the three people I trusted with my life, I wasn't telling. I also didn't want Frick and Frack to hop on the first flight down here to come and start handing out ass whoopins. I can do that on my own trust me. I don't need any extra opinions or stressors in this situation.
Taking me out of my thought process, I heard the front door jiggling open. Mama's heels were clicking real loud coming inside. She walked in the den, in all her fabulousness. Much like Mrs. Myra, (diamond's mama) she believed in being stylish every single day of work.
"When you dress like a boss, you are the boss," they go by. I'm pretty that quote is hung up in their offices somewhere.
"Since when do you watch cartoons?" she stood by the couch with her arms folded.
Told you.
"I was trying. This how you know it was nothing else to watch."
"Surely you could've found something else more interesting than The Loud House."
"Believe or not, there was nothing."
"If you surfed all the way to True Blood in the second grade, you can discover something decent," she pursed her lips.
"I'm afraid not many shows have come close to True Blood, Mama," I shook my head.
She laughed, "Psh, that and everything else you had no business watching."
She was damn right. I'm very guilty of watching stuff meant for adults at a young age. It was exciting to know I was watching something more advanced than kids at school. I couldn't help it. Why settle for Nickelodeon when HBO is so much juicer?
"How was the 'meeting'?" I asked.
"Well, Whitlock was able to allocate a couple funds for the squad."
"Wait that's good news ain't it?? Why'd you sound so solemn?"
"It is, but boy. I'm bout ready to start cussing bitches out. A bunch of grown adults just sitting there arguing over money."
"Come on Mama, were you really counting on something different?"
"In light of thinking about what's best for the students and the squad, yes, I actually did."
"Must've been a rude awakening," I said.
"In the beginning. But receiving that check at the end was too rich," she smiled.
"Were we granted the money or did we have to jack it?" I knew full well they weren't just gonna hand it over without leverage or any other good enough reason.
"What do you think?"
"The latter.."
"Bingo. Shit is never done fairly around here, I didn't have a choice, but to go all the way. It's what was just anyway."
"Got that right...," I mumbled. "So was...Davis...really the one over all that money?"
She nodded in disbelief. "Yes. The other head coaches were listed as secondaries. Whitlock wasn't even considered."
"They oughta be ashamed. Whitlock is like fifty/fifty responsible for ticket sales and attractions."
"And they're all aware, but refuse to acknowledge it. I'm so sick of these old ass niggas putting the band second."
"Not to mention his recruiting skills. The band is becoming just as competitive to get into as the football program."
"They'll wake up one day. I'm afraid it'll be over Davis' dead body though," she shook her head.
Drama King, much?
"Wow. Any other verdicts?"
"Other than the look on the football staff's face when it was voted that the band will be getting half of the money left, NOPE," she grinned manically.
I knew my Mama was good, but not that good. I could tell she felt vindicated. She deserved to feel this way, we shoulda had the money from the jump.
"Mrs. Taylor strikes again," I announced in my best reporter voice. I held an invisible mic out for her to speak. "Tell us, how'd you do it?"
"I'll say this. A little blackmail goes a long way. And your coach is the easiest one of them all."
The fuck..
Instantly, my joking mood went sour.
Did she just...tell on..herself..?
I know damn well she doesn't know what I know. I think. I know I haven't coughed up anything..or acted weird. Jesus it was so hard not to. Davis wouldn't tell her would he? Maybe he panicked and snitched on himself for getting busted. Is she assuming I knew? Can't be, she's always tip toed around anything that would compromise my relationship with Daddy.
Only thing I can do is hope she was referring to another situation, cuz that comment aligns way TOO well.
I tried to laugh it off as if it didn't bother me.
"Enough of that. Have you really been doing nothing since I brought you home from school?"
"Indeed. There was nothing to keep me occupied."
"I'm surprised I didn't come home to find you dancing in that mirror upstairs."
"Just wasn't in the mood today," I shrugged. "Wanted to relax."
She popped her neck before responding, "I heard that. I'm about to get in here and relax myself. Oh, any thoughts about dinner?"
"Hmm, Papa John's sounds good." I could taste that dough just thinking about it.
"Perfect. I'm gonna take a bath and unwind, then I'll get it delivered," she said walking up the steps, with her heels now in hand. Her feet had to be screaming after a day in those.
about an hour later...
I ended up dozing off on the couch, watching Greenleaf. I promise it wasn't boring, it was right up my alley actually. I think I'm just tired.
"Bari," Mama shook me awake. "Can you wash these couple dishes in here really quick? I'm just trying to get a head start on stoning these uniforms."
"Yeah, I can," I got up and headed to the kitchen.
"I ordered the pizza too, should be in here in thirty minutes."
I nodded, "Okay."
When Hakeem and Radijah were still living here I couldn't stand washing dishes. I felt like "why am I washing shit that I didn't even dirty?" I don't mind it so much now cuz it's just us two here. That makes it so much easier keeping the house clean. It's nice and quiet. And plenty of space, not that there wasn't before. All the time I think about how interesting it is that I'm the crazy one living in a quiet house, but Diamond is the quiet one living in a crazy house. I feel bad for her on dish rotation, she gotta wash seven people worth of shit at her house. Could never be me, will never be me. Accordingly to Wendy's biological clock she ain't having no more kids.
Her and Mrs. Myra have joked about her doing IVF in the absence of daddy, but to be quite honest, I may run away if she somehow magically becomes pregnant again. I like being the youngest. I get my way.
A lot. I'd feel bad for a baby entering this house. I'm the main character over here.
I continued washing, barely getting started when I heard the door bell ring. Wow pizza's here already? It really makes me whole when a delivery comes earlier than the initial time. Am I right? I was waiting for the smell of it all the way in here, but..I'm getting nothing. I'm a little lost. That better have been the damn pizza man, I'm freakin starving.
A second later, I heard mama stroll in the kitchen. I kept my back turned, still washing, cuz I knew it was her.
"Jabari, you have a visitor," she cleared her throat.
"Who—," I turned my head and immediately regretted doing so.
"Wassup," Quentin greeted me, tossing a football in the air.
"I'll be upstairs," Mama excused herself.
I waited til she was long gone up the steps to talk. I might've hated him, but I made sure I wasn't gone be cursing and such where she could hear me. She was still my Mama and I'm still not too old to be slapped.
"You on the wrong side of town, ain't you?" I asked rhetorically.
"Nope," he answered, entering the kitchen fully.
I gave him a dumb look over my shoulder before returning to the clanking of plates and cups in the sink.
"You sure about that?"
"Yeah, why?"
"You know full well.."
"I promise you I don't."
"Oh please, it's obvious what you claim."
"And what that is?"
"I don't even have to say, I saw them purple and black bandanas in your backseat. I hope you at least left em at home.." I rolled my eyes.
He started laughing. I don't see anything funny about it.
"You think I'm scared of some 'Prime Souljas'," he spoke their name with disgust.
"Well Ion know, being who you rock with and all...kinda dangerous being on their territory in broad daylight."
"What you done heard that you know so much? Aw, you worried about me?" He leaned next to the sink with his lip poked out. Now that was a REALLY good joke. I could never bring myself to be worried about this dog.
"No. Just asking. The streets whisper a lot," I shrugged.
"Cuz they afraid to talk for real. You shouldn't be listening to what nobody say, especially whispers. Stay in yo lane."
"Excuse me then.."
"You're excused."
There was silence before I spoke again. I just needed to ask. "Well..is it true at least? I'm the only ears here. You part of MSC?"
I had been overhearing many conversations regarding Quentin outside of church and football. I am strongly convinced he is involved in gang activity, trailing right behind number eleven himself. Only, no one can prove that Damien is affiliated with Manslaughter Crue. Regardless of all the talk of him being the interim ring leader. Which I also strongly believe. I have every reason to. You don't just casually shoot someone on a Tuesday night. However, being that his brother who bred MSC is locked up, it's easy for Damien to say he has nothing to do with it.
Even though his name is quite literally written all over it.
This place was way too small and no one can be that dumb to believe him and his henchmen have not shit to do with that. But, it's hard to call the truth the truth when there's no proof.
There are probably minions protecting him. People wiping the internet. Not a single trace of MSC attached. When you search him, it's all praise, season highlights, and stats. You'd never think twice about who he is. Quentin's big stupid ass probably doesn't have the luxury of assistance like that. I would think Damien would help him keep all the talk quiet. Since he wanna go pro so bad.
"Nah. Ian with MSC. I'm just cool with a couple folks on the inside."
"Mhmmmmm.." I'm not buying it.
I knew he was lying. Somebody's turning in their grave. I don't know who, but someone is.
"I'd hate for the Soulja's to see one of you walking the sidewalks of their hood."
Would I though?
"Good thing you don't live in the hood, isn't it?" he patronized.
Touché.
Nigga you had to get on Lavender Road to get to my neighborhood. Everybody knows who has this whole side mapped out. This was the hood where they rep that brown and gold. We lived outside out of it, away from the violence thank God, but it still stands. MSC is the Westside Primes' arch enemy. black and purple was a crime this way. Arabia common knowledge.
I blew a breath, sick of his snide answers. "Okay enough of that. What you doing here?"
"That shoulda been your first question."
"Okay so answer it."
"You not gone offer me no red drank or sweet tea?" he asked offended. "I am kinda thirsty."
First of all, that's the person who greeted you at the door's job. So, no. I don't want you in this house let alone drinking anything out of a single glass up in here.
"No..because you won't be staying long, so what is it?"
"Doing my big brother duties of course."
".....really..."
"I'm just checking on you. Coach wanted me to see if you were okay to play this Friday."
"So he sent you instead of asking me himself?" I feared that was gonna happen. It could've been anyone else. When will he learn that me and Quentin don't get along. He's still pushing this big brother narrative and it's getting old.
"He said you been acting strange. Like you spooked about something," he said suggestively.
I looked at him to find his annoyed expression.
"Cut me some slack. What do you want me to do?"
"I want you to grow a spine and stop letting a little blood psych you out. You fucking with your own future out there," he said sternly. "And the team's future."
"You got some nerve to tell me how to recover from watching somebody turn to ground beef," I shouted the last part in a whisper. I had to contain my volume.
"Yeah, I do, cuz I've been where you are. Just stop thinking bout it and it will go away. Put your problems into the game," he tapped his ball on the counter.
It hasn't been as easy as it sounds. Don't you think I would if it was?
"I'm trying."
"Try harder."
"You're not making it any easier. Between you pressing me, Deadpool over there giving me threatening looks, and Braylen acting stupid, I can't just get over it."
"Ignore them and listen to what I say," he stressed.
I sighed at his insensitivity. Right after it happened he wasn't being as asshole-ish, but as time goes on his patience is wearing thin. Not that he's ever been a patient person. Not with that temper.
He sighed, "If you had just went wit the others, you wouldn't be worried bout this shit."
"And leave the most harmless one by himself with you two? Fuck no."
"He ain't as harmless as you think."
"What that supposed to mean?" I squinted my eyes, curious.
"Quiet don't mean harmless. Loud don't mean dangerous."
"Are you leading me to some answers or?"
"You decide. But I'll tell you this, Stop. Worrying. About. Braylen. He in his own wad of shit and you will be too if you don't tighten up. We not talkin bout this no more you hear me?"
Sure. I will pretend to stop. It's the easy way to get people off my back and he's gullible enough to think I'm backing off. Despite my defiant ways in the past. I can bet he's preparing to set me straight again cuz I don't listen. That's right, but I'll do my best to fake obedience. If obedience is holding off until I get the real deets about that night, fine. I will do so gladly.
"Yeah," I rolled my eyes.
"Good. With that being said, the four of us gone be out there Friday. Have yo shit together."
"I think I will manage, thanks."
"Ain't no 'think', you need to know."
"Man, okay damn."
"I need you to be straight for these fuckin crackers. We don't know what they on down there."
"Explain to me why we going to this racist ass town anyway."
"Ion know. But be ready to fight cuz if I hear a single 'nigger' I'm going nuts."
"Man, I'm always ready to fight. We know this," he scoffed.
"Yeah always ready to fight yo fuckin teammates. You better not pull that bullshit, Ian playing witchu."
"No, THEY always ready fight me. I finish what they start," I cleared up. "Speaking of, what's up with Fiji? Still on the team or nah?" I tried to hide a smirk.
"You know you got that man kicked off. All them fuckin scholarships...gone."
"Aye I didn't go in his stuff and pull them pills out, somebody else did. I'm not taking the blame. He did it to himself."
"Still, what you did coulda got you fucked up if Ian step in."
"So. I just woulda been fucked up. It ain't like I lied on his sorry ass."
I could practically feel him shaking his head at me in silence.
"You so hardheaded, Ion know what to do."
"That makes two of us."
"Well. He gone now."
"Good riddance," I wiped the bubbles off my hands like they were my troubles.
"One less nigga on my team for you to run in with."
"You realize they do it to piss you off, don't you?"
"It shouldn't happen anymore seeing as they can get worked on like Fiji did."
"I'm surprised your 'work' didn't get you in trouble. Why you not suspended?"
"Davis can't sit me out, you fucking crazy?Plus. All I had to tell him was Fiji junky ass came at you crazy and I stepped in. Like he would want me to," he explained.
"Of course." Favoritism never ceases to amaze me and Quentin is right on up there in the "perfect players" spotlight of Calvin Davis.
"To be honest, I'm glad that fuggly bitch off the team. Imma need you to start spending more time with us now."
"What you mean more time? I'm with y'all more than I'm by my own self."
"You forgetting the other place?"
"...." Other place? What other place?! I'm always with y'all!
"Youn need to be coaching them hoes nomo."
"Hoes?" I asked insulted for them. "Try again."
"Fine, girls."
"Better. Why not? I was enlisted to assist, so that's what I'm gonna do."
"You can't focus. You putting more energy into teaching them n shit versus playing. Every time I turn my head you movin around. Can't sit still."
"Sorry..Ian quitting on them."
"You need to or else you—,"
"—-Don't come in here tryna hand out ultimatums," I interrupted him.
"I got yo best interest. And that's cutting dance out the picture."
MY WHAT?
"Quentin. I need you to understand that as long as I posses the technique and skill set of a good dancer, I am at their disposal, whenever, they need."
"That's some bullshit. So what, we come second to them bucking bitches?"
"No. But you gone learn to share the same place if you wanna keep me around to help win."
"Quentin Brookes don't share. But okay. Keep fuckin your priorities up and watch it blow up in yo face."
I had been done washing dishes, now talking face to face with him, where he sat at the island.
"Don't bug me about it again and everything will be straight."
"Ight. If you say so," he got up to leave and stopped at the kitchen threshold. "If we don't make it outta playoffs, I hope you feel real good about yourself."
"Y'all have done it before without me. Just do it again."
"Only thing is. I bet on you this time."
He did what?...He let that marinate in my head before spilling the rest.
"Imma be out a lotta skrilla if we don't. And I won't be happy with you," he decreed, looking as sinister as ever.
I froze at the news and my face dropped at his warning. It felt like the pressure he just bestowed upon me was physically real. I don't know what stressed me out more, not going to nationals or being at the end of his temper because we didn't go to nationals.
"Before I go," he said snapping me out of my head, "I won't be this polite next time we have a 'talk'. I hope you enjoyed. Practice tomorrow. Don't be late."
And he left, closing the front door loud enough behind him.
I need that whole damn box of pizza to myself after that.
——————————————————————
How do you think the "Davis got caught" situation will play out? Can Jabari hold water?
With speculations of Damien and Quentin a part of this notorious local gang, Jabari might be able to piece together some things about that night.
Is Quentin really trying to help Jabari or does he only care about himself? If you noticed, it was one of his first most polite moments so far. Jabari was smart mouthing plenty of times here and he took the high road. He really is like a struggling parent lmao.
Feel free to comment.🕺