Happiness and contentment had similar meanings for me. They all started with family.
It's so hard to find happiness. I've been looking for happiness for the last four years.
But today, I can say I found it.
The smiling faces in front of me made me believe in this theory. It made me think that the universe has a plan, if it snatches something from you, it is bound to return to you in some or the other way.
"What do you think, my child?", Mama asked me and I couldn't help but laugh mentally at how cute all of them were.
"You're not wrong, Mama.", I shook my head, as much as I wanted to stay with them more. The medicines were taking the best of me. I needed sleep but I wanted to stay here and talk to them.
"Come on, everyone. Out, now.", my sleepy eyes shot open when I saw Nicolas kicking Aiden and Evans out. Both of them looked at each other and then whispered something to him who in return punched their shoulders pushing them out.
I wanted to stop them but they already left smirking all the way. Tara followed and so did Mama, but not before pulling his ear and threatening him to behave or she'll throw his a*s out of his own penthouse.
He shut the door after them and all of a sudden the air felt thick. He came towards me and held out his hand for me to take." Will you give me the pleasure to show you your room, Ms Arielle Summers?", he said shooting a winsome smile at me.
I chuckled and took his hand. He walked me to a room. It was large but simple, it was clean, but it had a certain charm about it.
The room had grey walls, a king-size bed, a small table with a chair, a television, a large closet a bathroom, and the most beautiful part- indoor plants.
The feeling that came over me was of being home. Of belonging.
As if I belonged here.
"If you didn't-
"I like it.", I interrupted him with a smile."Thank you so much, Nicolas. You already did a lot for me and I don't have words to express my gratitude."
All of a sudden a notorious smirk appeared on his face. "Technically you don't have anything to be grateful for, but if you really want to thank me-"He walked closer to me and ran his fingers through my hair. "-and don't have words then you can always use actions, Arielle. Just the way I did in the elevator.", he said as he gently tugged me closer.
"You-", my voice came hoarse and breathless,"-you want me to kiss you?"
His hand froze."If you want." He said in an amused tone.
Bloody hell! I was getting so shy that words didn't form in my throat. A furious blush covered my cheeks as I contemplated what the hell to do? I thought about running away from him but where will I run?
"Thinking to run again, amore?", he cocked his head to his left side, the amused grin still on his face. I couldn't help but gasp in wonder how the hell did he get to know what was running in my mind.
Realizing I was making a complete fool of myself, I shook my head, my face feeling so hot that my cheeks felt like they would burst. "F*cking hell! Someone bury me in the ground right now.", I mumbled and his smirk turned into a full-fledged smile and that's when I realized once again he was teasing me.
"You're enjoying this a lot, aren't you?"
"More than you can think.", he winked at me making me roll my eyes. He smiled and gently kissed my forehead, "Good night, amore. If you want anything, just give me a call."
"Actually, I do want something.", he squinted his eyes in confusion.
"What did I miss? Medicines, check. Dinner, check. Water, check. Comforter, check.", he mumbled counting things on his fingertips."What do you need, amore? I'll get it right away."
"Clothes.", I replied.
"Oh."
"Yes oh.", I nodded, "Mama said a couple of her clothing items are at your place. Will you please get those for me?"
"What? No, amore. Mama doesn't have any clothes here."
"Why did she say like that?", I asked. What will I do now? I sighed."It's okay, Nicolas. I'll manage in these for the night. Mama told me she'll get my clothes from my house tomorrow since it was late today. "
He looked unsure but then left the room hurriedly saying he'll be back in seconds. I looked around the room and smiled in satisfaction. The thought alone that he placed plants for me in my room and made me feel so comfortable had my heart swell with warmth.
Damn him! His thoughtful gestures were making it so difficult to stop the feelings that were growing inside me for him.
Stop it, Ari!
"Arielle, I-uh...I don't know if you'd be comfortable but uh-" he paused and a tint of red appeared on his cheeks "-I uh...I got you one of my shirts. I promise I've not worn it even once. It's as clean as it was when Mama bought it.", he finished awkwardly pushing the shirt my way.
I took the shirt and looked at it. It was white and had no prints at all. I couldn't help but smile at the thought of how he gave one of his newest shirts to me. I opened it and another fabric fell out.
Before I could bend to pick it up, he held my shoulder." How could you be so careless, Arielle ? You could have hurt yourself.", He then picked it up."These joggers are also new, I promise."
I chuckled at his choice of words." I'll leave now.", he said reddening as he made his way out of the room.
I followed him to the door. He seemed as if he was having some internal battle once again; his brow was furrowed and his lips were pressed together in a straight line. "Sleep well, amore."
"Nicolas.", I stopped him before he could take a step."Thank you." and I kissed his cheek softly. He froze and within nanoseconds, his ears had turned the darkest shade of pink. A soft smile appeared on his face and a dimple formed in his left cheek in a way that I would love to keep in my memory forever.
"Jesus Christ!", he mumbled. I hastily shut the door behind me, I didn't want to make it awkward. My heart was racing as I tried to stop the smile that was threatening to break on my face. I didn't regret it at all.
I quickly changed into his shirt and the joggers, the fragrance of his cologne lingering in the air. It was not very strong but it was there. I shivered as I felt the warmth of the shirt.
As soon as I lay on the bed which may I add after gritting my teeth twice to stop the hiss from leaving due to the pain in my wound, the only thing my mind could think of was the fear of having the same nightmares again.
"How dare you?", his voice was filled with anger. His voice sounded like a cross between a snake and an enraged, wounded bear. He was pacing in the room."You really thought you could run away like that, my dearest."
"Stay away from my daughter." Mumma? "You come near her and you're dead." He laughed in mockery and stepped back. I shivered. I was f*cking deceived. He took a step closer but before he could catch me, Mumma held my hand and we ran for our dear life.
One minute we were running, the other I saw my lifeline, my Mumma falling down the stairs. I screamed out in horror and pain but it fell on deaf ears. "NO!!!" I tried running faster but my strength was failing me and I fell down.
Her head was bleeding, the blood was flowing out of her head making it difficult to see. Her eyes were wide open but they were blank. "Mumma! NOOOO!"
"Amore.", A pair of steel grey eyes stared at me. My heart was beating faster, faster and faster. It was then that I realized I just had it again. In one of my nightmares, my mother had died.
Only if it was a nightmare.
It was the reality of my life.
He reached out a hand to me but I was too scared to move. I looked at him through my tears. My heart ached when I saw a tear in his eye. I couldn't help but fall into his arms. His arms were strong, like steel."She's dead." I whispered.
His arms tightened around me. "She died because I was incapable, I was careless and dumb. I entrusted someone who never deserved my trust." She died because I was too stupid to see through his eyes."
I cried harder. I wasn't able to see his face but I could feel his presence through his arms. He gently placed a kiss on my head and then placed a hand on my back. "He pushed my Mumma down the stairs. He made my life a f*cking hell. I hate him, I f*cking hate that bastard. I f*cking hate Dan."
He didn't say anything for which I was glad. He just sat there holding me and stroking my hair till the moment I fell asleep.
The next morning, when I woke up, he was still there. I didn't let out a sound. I didn't want to wake him up, already I'd spoiled his night. I sighed, the thing I dreaded the most happened.
His back was against the headboard. He was still sleeping, his breath coming in soft, even breaths.
He was a picture of peace, tranquillity, and bliss. His arm was gently wrapped around the other side of my body where I wasn't hurt as if he let go, I'd disappear forever.
"Quit staring, Arielle.", he opened his eyes and my heart jumped. I quickly looked at the clock, my cheeks heated. F*ck! I was just caught staring at him. He tugged me closer and my mind started weaving its assumptions, now he'd ask about the nightmare."Good morning, amore.", he whispered as he rubbed my cheeks with his thumb making a shiver run down my spine.
Let's not start with the morning voice.
I don't know I felt so weak, I couldn't even look into his eyes. He tilted my chin with his finger forcing me to look at him. He looked tired, even his eyes had dark circles. "Look at me.", he demanded."You're not weak, do you understand me."
Only if it was so easy.
"I'll never make you rush into things. We'll talk when you would want."
"Talk?", I chuckled humourlessly. "What part of the truth do you want me to tell you, huh?", I got up from the bed." The part where my only best friend tried-", I stopped. What the hell am I doing?
"Your best friend, what?"
"I don't want to talk about it, Mr Arnold." I was fed up with all this." Just leave me alone, please.", my voice came louder.
I heard him take a deep breath and without a warning, he grabbed my hand pulling me into the bathroom.
"What are you doing?"
"Shut up." It was the first time he talked so rudely with me. I was taken aback would be a complete understatement."Sit." he made me sit on the counter as he grabbed some tissues and started wiping the blood that was seeping from my wrist, courtesy to me clawing my skin whenever I'd get such nightmares.
Next, he grabbed a damp cloth and wiped the stains of tears off my face. All the while, I couldn't help but keep my eyes off his face.
He sighed and looked into my eyes."I'm sorry for the way I talked to you, amore."
He brought his palm around the back of my neck pushing my face towards his, our foreheads touched and I could smell the cinnamon and sandalwood, his scent."But I can't see you in tears."
"Why?", my voice came breathless.
"Because you don't deserve them.", his thumb on my neck formed circles."You only deserve happiness and I promise, I'm going to make sure you get all of them."
***