LAST CHAPTER!!!!! <3
TYSM FOR READING ILY ALL <3
PLEASE LISTEN TO HAND OVER HAND BY ROLAND FAUNTE FOR THIS CHAPTER THANKS
CW:
-NSFW
(See the end of the chapter for more notes.)
It took Kaworu and Shinji two weeks to tell their friends that they were dating, they both agreed to wait to see how things would go. But once they did tell everyone, they weren't too impressed by it. Yeah, we noticed, dumbass, Asuka said, and everyone just agreed with her. So that was definitely a relief for both of them.
And after two months, Shinji had even told his parents already, who took it surprisingly well. After weeks of debating, Shinji and Kaworu facetimed Shinji's parents to let them know, as soon as they answered the call the brunette introduced Kaworu as his boyfriend. Yui said she was excited to meet him and Gendo made sure to embarrass Shinji by threatening Kaworu so he wouldn't hurt him. After that call, Kaworu made a call to his parents, alone. Without consulting it with Shinji first, he arranged so Kaworu could go back to his hometown on Christmas break with a friend, who his dad expected to be a girl.
Kaworu walked into his room and hugged Shinji who was at the desk, working on his laptop. "Hey, I wanted to ask you something."
He looked up but didn't stop typing. "What is it, babe?"
Even after being called that hundreds of times, Kaworu still blushed when Shinji called him that. "Uh, I was just in a call with my dad, and... I told him- well, do you want to go to my parent's this Christmas? I know it's a bit soon and it's oka-."
"Yeah, sure. I had already told you that I wanted to meet them. And it's not soon. I think three months of dating is good enough."
He sighed. "Okay, that's great. However, my dad is kind of expecting for me to bring a girl home..."
Shinji stopped typing and turned his chair around to be facing Kaworu. "Uh, did you tell him you were bringing a girl?"
"No! Of course not. I just said I'd bring someone and he said he couldn't wait to meet her..." Shinji smiled and nodded, trying not to laugh. "Why are you laughing? This is serious."
He finally laughed and tried to calm down, but wasn't able to. "I'm sorry, but I mean, your parents must know you're gay, right? You don't look," he looked at Kaworu up and down and laughed harder. "well, you don't look straight." Kaworu rolled his eyes, with a small smile. "Okay, okay. Don't worry about what your dad said, it'll be fine, stop overthinking it."
Kaworu drew him in for a hug and kissed his cheek. "Thank you."
"No problem."
"Oh, by the way, we're leaving tomorrow."
"What!? Why tomorrow?"
"Well, today's the twentieth, Christmas' just around the corner."
"Ah, fuck. Well yeah but you could have told me sooner, I have to pack my bags and- Oh shit, I'm meeting your parents Kaworu! What if they don't like me?" Now it was Kaworu's turn to laugh and he chased Shinji as he went outside the apartment to go over to his place. "Oh god, they're going to hate me, I have to make a good first impression. I could bake them a cake and-"
Once they were in the street, Kaworu kissed him to make him stop talking. "Hey, weren't you the one who told me not to overthink?" Shinji nodded. "Okay then, let's go make your bags."
***
"Yeah, I was impressed by that as well, but you know her, there's nothing we can do about it," Misato said through the phone as she talked to her son. "oh, and before I forget, someone asked me to say hi to you!"
He frowned, thinking of someone who might have said that. "Um, was it Maya?"
"Who's Maya?" When Kaworu was about to answer her question, she interrupted him. "No! It was Lee dummy!" Lee. He had completely forgotten about him. Kaworu hadn't thought of him for about two months already, around the time he started dating Shinji. Kaworu imagined him all grown up and thought he must be pretty attractive now. "Hello?"
"Ah, yeah. Sorry. Um, well, how is he? Or like, when did you see him?"
She laughed. "I was Christmas shopping at the mall, and I saw him there. I recognized him immediately so I went to say hello, and you're never going to believe this!"
Was he with a man? "What?"
"He was with a girl, and she was pregnant! His girlfriend's having a baby!"
"Oh, I didn't expect that. Is she pretty?"
"Oh yeah, very pretty. Actually, now that I think of it, she kinda looks like you!" She laughed and Kaworu did too, but nervously. "Anyways, I said hi and he also recognized me pretty fast, that's when he asked about you and he said that he wishes that you could come back soon so you guys can catch up."
He nodded. "And what did you tell him?"
"Well, I said that I hope so too. Oh, he asked if you had a girlfriend yet..."
"Of course he did... What did you say?"
"The truth. Well, you don't have one, right?
He laughed. "Nope, I definitely don't have a girlfriend." He heard Shinji open the door so he got up from his desk to go greet him. "Well, thanks for telling me, mom. I'll be visiting you soon if things go well."
"Please do, you're always welcome here, you know that." He said thanks. "Hey, is everything alright with you and Lee?"
Shinji was already wrapped around Kaworu's arms when Misato asked this. "Uh, I don't know. I guess we just drifted away. But it's no big deal, I'm okay now."
"Okay then, I'll leave you now. Be good and call me soon."
"I will." He said smiling.
***
The car ride to Kaworu's hometown was around four hours, which Shinji volunteered to drive. Kaworu stayed up during the road since he already felt guilty about not driving, so they were talking, two hours in, while Kaworu smoked a cigarette (something he hadn't done in a long time). Kaworu warned Shinji about the personality of his parents since he knew he was a huge introvert and their parents were known to be the exact opposite. Shinji said he'd handle it well but he was obviously lying.
After two hours, Kaworu fell asleep and left Shinji alone, but he didn't mind it. He took the time to rehearse in his head how he would introduce himself to Kaworu's parents and how he would behave in front of them. He'd probably play it safe and be a nice guy in front of them (not that he wasn't a nice guy and he needed to pretend to be one) so they would like him. Their approval was very important for him since Kaworu was his boyfriend now.
Two hours later, Shinji woke Kaworu up so he could tell him how to get to his house. Kaworu told him which streets to take and around ten minutes later, they were parked outside Kaworu's childhood house. It was a cute house, not so big but it wasn't small either. The garden outside had a lot of plants and also some benches and a swing tied to a tree branch. Shinji pictured younger Kaworu playing on the swing with his parents and the thought warmed his heart.
"Are you ready?" Kaworu asked while he opened his door.
He nodded. "Yep, all good. Are you ready tho? You don't have to tell them right away, you can wait and we'll tell them together, or you can do-"
Kaworu leaned in to kiss him to prevent him to continue talking. "It's okay, I'll tell them when the time's right. Now let's go inside."
Shinji followed him after taking their bags to the porch, where he knocked on the door. Shinji heard as steps came closer to the door and took the time to hide behind Kaworu, also making sure not to be touching him too much.
The door opened and it revealed a woman that appeared to be around her late thirties with gorgeous purple hair. "My boy!" She said as she pulled Kaworu in for a hug, leaving kisses all over his blushed face. "Oh god, we've missed you so much. Oh! That's right!" She pushed Kaworu away and now drew Shinji in to hug him. "It's so nice to meet you! What's your name?"
"Uh, I'm Shinji ma'am, nice to meet you."
"Oh please, call me Misato." She finally let him go and moved inside the house so the two guests could enter too. "Your dad's in the kitchen, Kaworu. Go say hi, I'll put your things upstairs."
"Yeah, thanks, mom." Misato took the bags and went up the stairs while Kaworu and Shinji went to the kitchen, where a man was on his phone, on the dinner table. "Hi, dad."
"Kaworu!" He stood up and went to hug the boy. "How have you been? It's so nice to see you!"
He returned the hug and then separated, moving to his side so he could reveal Shinji that was standing behind him. "Oh, um... This is Shinji, my f-friend."
Shinji stretched his hand out and shook Kaji's hand, giving him a smile. "Nice to meet you."
He smiled too. "It's nice to meet you too. Although I didn't know Kaworu was bringing a friend, but it's okay, I'm sure you must be very important to him."
"Uh, yeah! Well," He took Shinji's arm and pulled him behind him again. "we gotta go unpack and shit- I mean, and stuff, yeah. We'll come down for dinner later. Nice to see you dad." Kaworu pulled Shinji out of the room before he could say anything and went up the stairs with him. Misato was in the room that they were staying in so Kaworu asked her (politely) to go downstairs too, saying that they would finish leaving their stuff. Shinji thanked her as she left the room and Kaworu went fast to close the door once she was gone. "Shinji I'm so sorry, I panicked and-."
"It's okay, you don't have to apologize." He went closer and gave Kaworu a hug. "I'm not trying to rush you into doing anything, you'll do it when you're ready."
"I'm still sorry tho."
"Don't be." Kaworu kissed his cheek, which then continued to his mouth and Shinji kindly accepted it, opening his mouth to give Kaworu more space for his tongue. When Kaworu's hands went lower in Shinji's body, the brunette separated and laughed. "Easy there."
Kaworu blushed and gave him a shy laugh. "Yeah, sorry." Shinji just smiled and gave him a last kiss before turning around and start watching the room they were in.
He started looking at the few things that stayed in the room and smiled at the picture of younger Kaworu being in that same room. What caught his attention, was a picture frame that was hanging from an empty wall, the picture showed Kaworu around the age of thirteen with a boy that looked the same age next to him. They were hugging and both their faces expressed happiness. Shinji smiled at the picture. "Who's this guy?"
Kaworu's focus went to the picture and felt as his face lost warmth, what was he going to tell him? "Uh, that's Lee."
"Is he your friend?" Kaworu got up from the bed and went to stand next to Shinji, looking straight ahead while Shinji turned to look at him. After he saw the change in Kaworu's behavior, he looked down to grab his hand. "Sorry, you don't have to answer, I was just curious."
Kaworu shook his head. "No, it's okay. Um, he used to be my friend but he was kind of an asshole."
"Oh! You did tell me about him, I remember now!" He said a little too excited considering what they were talking about. "Can I know more about it?"
Kaworu went back to the bed, still holding Shinji's hand and making him sit next to him. "You've seen them, right?"
Shinji knew what Kaworu was talking about, however, he didn't mean to seem as intrusive or maybe he could be thinking about something else. "Um, seen what?"
"My scars." He sounded sad by saying that, he looked down and took a deep breath before speaking again. Shinji nodded and placed his free hand on Kaworu's back. "It wasn't his fault because he was raised to think that certain way, however, he knew I was gay and he continued to be completely mean about it... He'd talk shit about people like me every time he could and forced me to play along with it." Shinji listened to him patiently. "I was young and didn't know how to cope with all that, so I recurred to self-harming, it was the only escape I knew... That's why I asked my parents to move to another city. I was tired of him bringing me down and calling it a friendship, he kept giving me mixed signals, and one day I just had enough." Kaworu turned to look at the boy next to him, who was looking back with sad eyes and a small smile. "But hey, it was for the best, I got to meet you and you've helped me to discover a new side to all of this. I don't feel pain or guilt anymore, I just feel... Happiness."
Shiji leaned in to kiss him while he played with his hair. "You've helped me too, Kaworu. And I'm glad that you feel that way about me because I feel the same for you."
Kaworu smiled. "Are you saying you love me?" He said playfully and Shinji rolled his eyes at him.
"Don't flatter yourself, idiot."
"I had to try."
Shinji stood up, offering his hand to Kaworu so he would do the same. He hugged him and stood on his tiptoes to whisper in his ear. "But I can say, that I'm definitely falling in love with you."
His smile got wider and held Shinji closer to him. "So am I."
***
Those three days were absolute torture for Shinji and Kaworu. Not being able to touch each other in a more-than-friends type of way was harder than they would have imagined. Obviously, they were almost caught several times but in their minds, they were doing an amazing job at hiding it.
So Kaworu suggested for them to leave the house on the twenty-fourth so they could go and visit the places Kaworu used to go to when he lived there, which was just an excuse to stop worrying about being caught 24/7.
They left the house early in the morning, saying that they'd be back before dinner.
Kaworu walked Shinji to his favorite places in that town. the places he would go to feel safe and to escape from his reality, to let himself go, and to not worry about anything. He'd usually go to these places by himself and most of them were located far from his house. He actually had a list of them in his phone;
The Walmart that was downtown.
Blue park (at night).
My room.
Getting on a bus going anywhere.
The record store.
Kaworu made sure to take his old iPod with them so Shini could get the whole experience with him. So this was their plan; take a bus to go downtown, go to Walmart to get a liter of ice cream each, walk around downtown to buy stuff and when nighttime came, go to the blue park.
Walking around downtown was nice, especially while listening to what Kaworu used to listen to when he was younger. The town was colorful and it had a lot of places to visit, to which they didn't go but Shinji made Kaworu promise that they'd go one day.
Shinji was happy that Kaworu had let him see this part of his life that he never let anyone else see it. But Kaworu, he was on cloud 9. When he was younger, he would have never imagined that he'd be going to those places with someone else, especially that that someone would be his boyfriend. He had this special glow in his eyes that completely showed his joy and also, he had no intention of hiding it. He was holding Shinji's hand and paid absolutely no attention to anyone but the boy next to him.
Sadly, the record store was closed for the day due to it being Christmas eve, so after being downtown for a few hours, Shinji and Kaworu took another bus to the park. They got some bad looks for holding hands right when they entered the bus but none of them seemed to care anymore.
After a short ride, they got off at the closest stop from the park and walked the remaining distance to get there. Kaworu had perfectly planned the time so they would get there at the right time so Shinji could see when the lights got turned on around the park. Once they got there, they sat on a bench to finish their ice creams and waited for the sun to finally go away.
The park was surprisingly more crowded than they thought it would be, but everyone seemed to be in their own world as much as they were. "But wait, most of the things in this park are actually red, why did you keep calling it "the blue park"?" Shinji asked Kaworu, taking off his earphone to hear the answer.
"Oh just wait for it, in a few minutes they'll turn on the lights on the trees, and well, they're blue." He also took his earphone off and rolled the wire to put them in his pocket along with the iPod.
Shinji turned to look at the turned-off lights that covered the trees as Kaworu said and he got excited with the thought of seeing all the park covered in blue light. When he turned back to look at Kaworu, he saw that he was smiling more than usual (if it was possible) and it made him smile too. "This day was awesome, Kaworu. Thank you so much for this."
Shinji leaned in to kiss him on the lips but retracted quickly. "You don't need to thank me, I really wanted to do this with you."
"I'm glad you do."
The lights on the park started to light up little by little until the whole place was covered in a blue atmosphere. Kaworu and Shinji looked at it astonished by how pretty it looked, especially since it gave their date a good ending and they couldn't be with a better company. They stayed like that for about half an hour since Misato was constantly calling Kaworu telling him they needed to go back soon if they wanted to be on time for dinner. So after they finished the last of their snacks, they got up from the bench to go back to Kaworu's parents.
As they were leaving the park, Shinji thought it would be a good idea to take a picture together so they could have a nice memory of that day, so he told Kaworu to wait in the middle of the park while he went to ask someone if they could take the picture (a selfie seemed too basic for him). So he went to approach a nice couple that was passing by and asked for the favor.
The man gladly agreed so both of them went to where Kaworu was waiting. Shinji stood next to his boyfriend and hugged him while they both smiled at the camera. The man took a few pictures and then got closer to give the phone back to Shinji. "I took a lot of pictures, hopefully you'll like-" When he raised his head he looked at Kaworu with peeled eyes, and Kaworu was looking back at him the same way. He even let go of Shinji's hand and backed away from him. "Oh my god, what are you doing here?"
Kaworu took a deep breath and looked down. "I came back here to spend Christmas with my parents," The man didn't answer, he just nodded. "Oh yeah, um, this is Shinji," He pointed to the boy next to him, who smiled and stretched his hand to shake it with Kaworu's friend (?). "and Shinji, this is Lee."
Shinji raised his eyebrows but tried to hide it. "Nice to meet you Shinji." He nodded. "Um, well I might as well introduce my girlfriend to you guys!" Lee turned around and waved the pregnant woman so she would approach them, once she got there she waved everyone there with a beautiful smile. "This is Mito, we met in college and, well obviously, we're pregnant! Mito, this is Kaworu and his- and Shinji."
Both boys cringed at the last comment but hid it behind a smile. "That's awesome Lee, I'm happy for you," Kaworu said genuinely with a nostalgic look on his face. "and congratulations to both of you!"
The couple said thanks and everyone stayed in awkward silence, waiting for the obvious to be pointed out by someone, that someone was Mito. "Lee has told me about you before, Kaworu, right?" He said yes. "I'm glad I can finally meet you! And you too Shinji. I'm guessing you all used to be friends in high school?"
None of them talked, Shinji didn't mean to say anything wrong or to put Kaworu in an uncomfortable situation, he just shook his head saying no. Kaworu and Lee turned to look at each other while deciding who would speak first. Lee took the opportunity. "Uh, no. I only knew Kaworu back then, um, Shinji is just his friend."
"My boyfriend, actually," Kaworu said before he could even process the words that left his mouth. Shinji smiled but at the same time turned to look at Lee who was smiling awkwardly. He took Kaworu's hand again and squeezed it to let him know he was there with him. "Yeah, we also met in college but we've only been dating for a few months."
"That's so cute!" Mito said while she rubbed her belly.
Lee nodded while he took his own couple's hand. "I agree, you guys make a nice couple. I'm glad to see you're doing well."
"Thank you."
The four of them kept talking about other things and ended up planning to see each other again before Shinji and Kaworu went back to their home. Obviously, that wasn't going to happen but everyone pretended to be excited as Mito seemed that she really wanted for it to happen. Kaworu and Shinji said goodbye after realizing Kaworu had sixteen missed calls from his mom, but before leaving, Lee hugged Kaworu and said something only they could hear. After that, they walked back hoping they could be on time for dinner.
***
On the twenty-sixth, Kaworu made everyone in the house sit down on the living room floor and finally came out to his parents.
"Okay, before you say anything, just know that me and your dad love you very, very much. You are the light to my eyes Kaworu and that will never change no matter what, okay?"
He sighed and rolled his eyes. "Yeah, I know that mom, but I still need to say it myself."
Kaji looked completely lost as for what Misato and Kaworu were talking about, so he turned to look at Shinji with suspicion in his eyes, to which Shinji just shrugged his shoulders as if he didn't know what they were saying either.
Kaworu took a deep breath and blinked repeatedly to scare the tears that were threatening to come out any second. Misato was trying to hold back her worry and leaned in to hug Kaworu, who kindly pushed her off. "Baby you don't even have to say it, I- if you don't want to, we understand-"
"Mom!" He whined and Misato went back to her seat. "Okay, thanks. Now, I have to say something to you guys," Misato wasn't looking at Kaworu, not because she didn't want to hear it, more because she knew that was probably hard for him to say and she always hated to see him cry. "well, I wanted to let you guys know because I love you and because I love Sh- uh, because I care about Shinji too, um, that well... Shinji's my bo- well he is my friend, but he is also my," He took one last deep breath and when he let the air out, he also let his tears come out too. "he's my boyfriend. I'm gay."
He felt the need to apologize for it but he fought it back because he didn't want to hurt Shinji by saying it. "Wait, so you guys are dating?" Kaji asked, still completely lost in the conversation.
"Yes."
"Oh, well that's great son," He gave them a thumbs up and Kaworu laughed interrupting his cry when he saw that. "I'm glad we can finally know that part of you."
Misato was crying too but trying to hide it. "We love you Kaworu."
"I love you guys too."
As it was expected, both of them took the news really well and comforted him, as he was a puddle of tears. Kaworu's parents were pretty young so they seemed to have zero problems with their relationship and after that, they were finally free to cling onto each other as they liked.
A week later, Shinji and Kaworu were helping Misato and Kaji to prepare everything for new year's dinner. Everyone had dressed appropriately which made Kaworu and Shinji need a moment alone to "talk" so they went to Kaworu's old room and came back when the guests (friend's from his parent's work) started to arrive. The dinner went good and Misato took every opportunity she could to talk about how her son had a boyfriend, which was not appreciated by him.
After having dinner, the "adults" stayed at the dinner table talking about work and other lame things while Kaworu and Shinji went up to their room again.
"You should dress like this more often," Shinji said while he look at Kaworu up and down from the bed, taking off his own jacket.
Kaworu started taking his clothes off too as he walked to the bed. "Anything you want, but the same goes for you. You look so hot with a tie."
"Oh, this old thing?" He said as he started to take that off to, Kaworu bit his lip and jumped on the bed, on top of Shinji. They started making out while taking off each other's left clothes in a sloppy way. Both of them were hard already just by kissing, so they continued with it. "By the way," Shinji separated but Kaworu kept kissing his neck. "I wanted to give you a present to acknowledge your bravery today, sir."
Kaworu stopped to make eye contact. "Call me that again."
"Yes sir," He giggled. "but seriously, come here." Shinji moved from under him and made him now be laying on his back, as he unbuttoned his pants. Kaworu lifted his hips so Shinji could pull them down. He even took his underwear off and looked up at Kaworu, who was sweating, biting his lips. "May I, sir?"
He threw his head back and grabbed a pillow to squeeze it, preparing for what was going to come. "Please do."
After those words of affirmation, Shinji took Kaworu's length in his hand, moving it up and down. Kaworu seriously couldn't be any harder after a few seconds of touching him, so he leaned in to start kissing from the tip to the bottom. Kaworu was trying really hard to keep composture and to not thrust his hips upwards, so he held tighter to the pillow. Shinji started to use his tongue, swirling it around Kaworu's tip, getting used to the sensation, to then take a deep breath and open his mouth widely to get it all inside.
Kaworu moaned louder than he intended to so he covered his mouth with his hand, while the other one went down to place it in Shinji's head that was going up and down. "Fuck Shinji that feels- it's so good."
Shinji kept going with it for a few minutes, constantly separating it to catch some air or to kiss Kaworu to then go down again. He did tell Kaworu to warn him before he came, and Kawroru kept his promise. So when Shinji felt Kaworu go steady, he backed out and rushed to kiss him while his hand finished the job, moving it fast while Kaworu moaned in the kiss. Some seconds later, Shinji's hand felt warmer and Kaworu pulled him to kiss him deeper, reaching every space in his mouth. He kept moving his hand after that until Kaworu politely asked him to stop, so he just dropped on Kaworu's chest, hearing his accelerated heartbeat.
"That was..."
"Yeah, it was."
"Thank you, Shinji."
He laughed and got up to kiss him, making it a long kiss. "You don't need to thank me."
"Um, but isn't it your turn now?"
Shinji separated and looked down to his pretty obvious erection. "Oh no, you don't have to, I wanted to give you something nice but it wasn't for-"
"But what if I want to?" He lowered his hand to reach Shinji's crotch and started stimulating it, making him shiver under the touch. "Does that feel nice?" He said with a huge smile on his face as Shinji closed his eyes and nodded. He moved him so he would be laying on his back and went down, roughly spreading his legs open. He placed his mouth on Shinji's length and looked up. "Wrap your legs around my shoulders." He did as he was told and looked up at the roof, waiting for Kaworu to start. "Okay, just let me know if you don't like something or if you want me to-."
"I'm sure I'll love it." Kaworu smiled and went straight to start sucking Shinji off, getting a grip of his hips to get as close as he could. Kaworu was being more aggressive but Shinji didn't mind it. He used his hand too, to stimulate him while still using his mouth. Shinji kept trying to move under him but wasn't able to because Kaworu was holding him down too hard, so instead, he'd hug him closer with his legs while he desperately tried to find something near him to grab. "Ah, Kaworu, stop, I'm cumming, I can't keep-." Kaworu heard what he said, so he looked up at Shinji and after he saw how much he was enjoying it, he went down again, moving faster and keeping his tongue mainly on the tip. "Wait, I can't, I'm going to..." Kaworu tasted salty on his tongue and slowed down. When Shinji stopped twitching under him, he separated and went up to kiss him.
Shinji was sweating and his face was all red, "How was that honey?"
In response, he went in to kiss Kaworu while passing his hands all over his naked body. "It was awesome, thank you."
He smiled. "You don't need to thank me."
They stayed laying down for a while until they checked the time and saw that midnight was coming soon, so they got dressed again and perfumed themselves to go down again, to celebrate with everyone.
Kaji put the timer on the TV and everyone started talking about their resolutions for next year and plans too. Kaworu and Shinji got apart from everyone, got out of the house, and took some grapes to eat (not as their resolutions, they just wanted grapes). The night was cold and there were almost no people outside, they could see as most houses had their lights on and were still decorated for Christmas. Shinji turned to look at Kaworu who was looking up at the stars. "You're so beautiful, Kaworu." He directed his attention to Shinji and smiled, leaning in to hug him and then kiss him. "And I don't mean that because you're my boyfriend, I actually think that you're just way too beautiful."
"Stop, you're making me blush." Shinji giggled and held him tighter. As they were hugging, they could hear how the people inside the house started to countdown from fifteen, but they still stayed in the same position, until they reached the number five, then Kaworu separated, took Shinji's hands, and looked at him while counting down, Shinji did so too. Once they reached number one, they kissed to continue with the tradition of the New Year kiss. They were both smiling during the kiss and stayed outside for more time after midnight. "What are your resolutions for this year?"
Shinji thought and realized he hadn't thought about it before, so he had nothing prepared for the moment in which he has to state them. "Well, I'm guessing that I want to do well in school, I want to visit my parents more often, and... I want to be with you, but that's not only for this year, it's for this one and the next ones to come." Kaworu smiled and laughed. "What about you?"
Kaworu had thought about them before but while in the moment, he forgot about most of them. "I want to do well in school too, I want to learn how to forgive and I want to discover new things with you."
"To try new things..."
"I asked why was it different with me, you know because you say that you're an introvert." Shinji couldn't tell the expression on his face, he looked pretty serious yet at the same time very relaxed. No signs of interest but neither of him not caring about the answer.
"Ah, yeah, I remember now. Well, I don't know why I accepted if I'm being honest, I guess I'm giving a chance to try new things, it's a good time to start trying now."
"Trying new things, huh? You're right, it is a good time to start. So following that thought, can I get your number?"
"Kaworu, I love you."
"I love you too, Shinji."
***
Shinji was practically living with Kaworu at this point, he spent so much time in his apartment that even Asuka was complaining that they hardly ever got to see each other. But even like that, they were happy for him, as Rei stated, he had never seen Shinji this happy, so she was an advocate for her brother and Kaworu to spend more time together.
But they did come to a mutual agreement that movie nights would always be sacred, so Shinji and Kaworu had to visit Shinji's apartment for one night every week so they could spend some time with their other friends.
Things were different now... A year after going to college had definitely changed everyone, mostly in good ways only. Mari and Asuka had already been dating for more than a year, Kaworu and Shinji had been together for almost seven months, Rei and Kensuke had just officially started dating, and Hikari and Toji were on a break (again) but still behaved like a couple towards everyone else.
Shinji really liked the way he was living now. Sure, his life was great before entering college but there was something he was missing. And it wasn't only wanting to have a couple like Kaworu, which was amazing and he did really love him, but also, thanks to him, Shinji was able to experience new things in his life, that he had never allowed himself to even think about.
So there they were, as always, in the Ikari's and Langley's apartment for a weekly movie night. Rei and Kensuke were laying on the floor, using some pillows and covers to protect themselves from the cold floor, next to them were Asuka and Mari. Kaworu and Shinji had gotten the couch and Hikari and Kensuke got the puffs.
The movie was pretty interesting and it demanded a lot of attention to actually comprehend the plot, but Kaworu found himself staring at Shinji who was laying in his chest, looking ahead. As he felt Kaworu's eyes on him, he looked up and smiled at him. "What's wrong?"
Kaworu smiled back and leaned down to plant a kiss on his boyfriend's head. "Nothing, I just like looking at you."
He raised his eyebrows. "Do you like me or something? That's embarrassing?"
He giggled. "Ew no, never."
"Good to know."
"Can you guys shut up? We can all hear you." Asuka said as Mari told her to stop talking. The rest of them laughed and Shinji and Kaworu followed her demand.
Kaworu didn't finish watching the movie because for some reason, he couldn't stop observing every single detail on Shinji. How he kept moving his legs, how he laughed when Asuka talked, how he would look at Rei making sure everything was okay with her, how he kept offering to get more popcorn for everyone but they refused.
He also found amazing how used he was to all the things Shinji was doing. He could now say that they were closer than everyone else on that room, they knew each other completely and that's when the thought that had been creeping in his mind finally sinked in.
I want it to be like this forever.
Forever.
His own thought scared him, and somehow, Shinji could feel how he was getting uncomfortable. "Are you okay?" Kaworu didn't answer. "Hey guys, we're gonna head off, we're both pretty tired." Shinji said to the rest of the group as he got up and took Kaworu's hand to lead him to his room. "Enjoy the movie."
Everyone said goodnight and Kaworu followed Shinji to his room, still holding his hand.
"What's wrong, Kaworu?"
As soon as Kaworu closed the door to Shinji's room, he kneeled down and took one of Shinji's hands who was looking back completely scared, laughing nervously. Kaworu laughed too when he saw Shinji's face. "I'm not proposing."
"Yeah, you better not."
He rolled his eyes but stayed in the same position. "However, I do want to say this, Shinji; I am going to marry you one day, so consider this a promise. I don't see a future in which we're not living happy together, so this is just to let you know, that as long as you love me, then I'll marry you one day."
Shinji pulled his hands to make him stand up, kissing him when he did. He was smiling. "You better keep your promise, because I want that too."
"I love you, Shinji."
"I love you more, Kaworu."
***
LYRICS TO HAND OVER HAND BY ROLAND FAUNTE.
This song was what inspired me to do this fic so the lyrics are pretty important to the story.
Oh
Little love
Hold me down
I've had enough
Oh
Falling fast and screaming loud
I'm finding ways to drown it out
And hoping you can hold me down
People change
Start falling in and out of pairs
But for now it all just really hurts
And I need you to hold my hand
Little love
I'm lost and might be never found
I'm hoping you can hold me down
Gone
A fallen face among the crowd
I'm losing at the speed of sound
And hoping you can hold me down
All the same
I'm a broken ship without a sail
And nothing really seems to work
So I need you to hold me like when
We
Went walking through backyards
Asking what is in store for us
Just looking around
Cause right there
I was above it all
My back up against a wall
My lips on your brow
Oh baby you can hold me down
Oh
Little love
I'm searching for a plot of ground
I know that you can calm me down
Broken boy
Yet to find a way around
A dark and ever-growing cloud
That has him always looking down
Her voice is like a morning sun
Her touch is like a burning flare
The hope that hides inside the cloud
Returns to me when she is there
I was climbing up out of a well
While we were
Getting lost in the pillows
Feeling fine and then getting sicker
There you were
But where was I
Just hold me close baby hold me high
Finding warmth
Beneath the covers
When I had nothing we still had each other
We were alone
Outside of time
So hold me close while I start to climb
Hand over hand (x34)
My little love
I wanna leave
Turn out the lights
And be at ease
I feel I live
Along the brim
Of giving up
And giving in
So hear me now
Without mistake
In case I falter and I break
Without a doubt
Let me be clear
You are the reason
I'm still here
Notes:
tysm for reading this far, i appreciate it a lot.
i hope everyone enjoyed this as much as i did and stayed tuned bc ill definitely be writing more kawoshin in the future!!!