Fear.
Fear was the first emotion you felt as you looked over those papers in Isabella's office. You were just a kid, 8 years old, and realised what hid behind that gate. You shuffled the documents back together, making sure you put them in order. A mysterious boy with black hair leaned on the door frame, watching you.
'' So, you know now too huh?''
You jumped, sweat trickling down your temple and your heart beating out of your chest. When you realised it was Ray, you let out the biggest sigh indicating your relief.
''You scared me.'' you said, as he looked at you with an intimidating gaze. You could see the light of the dimly lit room in his green eyes.
"Let's talk somewhere else. Follow me."
Ray lead you down a hallway. By the end of it, he pulled open two doors that revealed a library. He signaled you follow him to the upper section, in which there was a corner full of pillows of blankets.
The two of you sat down, and that's when Ray revealed everything to you. You both talked for hours on end about the house, Isabella, the siblings and even the tracking devices. Finally realising the truth, you silently sobbed while Ray hugged you tightly. You could feel tears on your shoulder too and shivering in the small boy that was clutching to the back of your shirt. It was too much for your 8 year old mind to handle.
At least that's how you remembered it.
When you appeared in the new universe, sudden memories flooded your mind. This happened to be one of them.
It was here, your adventure in the promised neverland began.
After a long day, it was finally Friday. You unlocked your the door, no one being home after you took the bus. Putting your things away, you climbed the stairs and closed the bathroom door.
'I wonder if it will snow again tomorrow...' You thought, throwing your dirty clothes from school in the laundry basket next to you.
You step in the shower and twist the handle for the water to come out. Before it fully starts, you step back to avoid the cold water hitting your skin.
After waiting for a few minutes, the heat from the water steamed up the room, you stepped under the shower. you sighed contently, releasing all tension from your shoulders. You mind wanders about how your day went, how boring classes were and the memories you had made with your friends. Today, you had gone on a walk with the school in a forest near by. Your entire group had went. You had joined them and watched from afar as they had the time of their life.
That's what you were, an observer.
You never had anything interesting going on in your life, ever since the moment you remember, you had always looked at how life passed by for the people around you, never finding the motivation to pursue your own.
You had to admit, even if it seemed like it didn't bother you, it secretly did. You had always wanted to have something good happen to you, something fun that gives an adrenaline rush. Thinking to yourself, you knew that you had to put effort in it yourself, but you found it easier to blame the world around you instead.
You finished your shower, dressed in your comfortable clothes and head back downstairs.
You sat down on your couch and cuddled yourself in your soft blankets, ready to be whisked away to your own little world. Plugging in your headphones, you listened to the soft humming. You sighed, sinking into your couch. It felt almost as Isabella was right next to you, singing and caressing your head. You found great comfort in the show, and her voice calmed you down so that your insomnia would lay off for a night. Right before falling asleep, you wondered how it would feel to live in a universe in which you were with the people who you have only ever seen through a screen.
'I wish I lived there... all peaceful in the orphanage for a few years...'
And little did you know, your thoughts did not go unanswered.
You wake up to the soft sound of a clock ticking. Noticing how your couch is different, you start to feel around.
'Wait... I'm not on my couch. I'm in a bed... did someone carry me in bed last night? But... who...'
Your eyes shot open and immediately, memories flooded your vision. You yelped and put a hand on your eyes, closing them. The memories didn't stop, it felt as if your life was flashing before your eyes. The overwhelming feeling hit you so hard you couldn't do anything but bear the visions flooding your brain. Finally, it came to a halt. When it did, you gasped, a cold sweat now running down your neck. You regained enough stability to look around. It was all blurry at first, but when your eyes adjusted to the light peeking from the windows, you panicked.
'Where am I? Who are all these children... did someone kidnap me? But then why does this look so familiar...'
It hit you.
Your eyes widened as your heart picked up the pace. You couldn't move for a few minutes, frozen in shock. From the corner of your eye, you saw the door that led to the main bathroom. Eventually, you gained the courage to tiptoe out of the bed and quietly twist the handle and carefully close the door behind you. Looking in the mirror, your eyes widened seeing that your body had shrunk to the size of your twelve year old self. Covering your mouth to muffle your gasps that threatened to wake the others, you slowly came to realisation that this wasn't a dream.
You were in absolute shock, there was no other way to describe it. You slowly backed away from the mirror and looked at your shaking hands.
You took deep breaths to try and recollect your thoughts. After a few breaths, you came to your senses.
'Okay, first I need to know where I am in the timeline. From the memories... I know I'm friends with Ray, though I'm not with Emma or Norman because me and Ray decided to keep our connection a secret. I know he's the traitor but he didn't say anything to Isabella...'
Realising that it might almost be time for the day to start, you open the door a few centimetres and look at the clock that had initially woke you up.
'Almost 6 am... I'll have to get ready. By the actions of the characters, ill determine where I am episode wise. That's the first step.'
You inhaled and exhaled, looking at yourself one last time in the mirror before exiting the bathroom.
The clock chimed and you jumped. Emma shot up from her bed and yelled to wake the heavy sleepers.
''Good morning everyone!! Let's all get dressed and ready to go set up breakfast!''
Everyone started to wake up, your eye catching someone in particular, Norman.
His hair was completely all over the place, he was rubbing his tiered eyes and smiled at Emma who was helping the children get their clothes on.
You caught her eye. She smiled and came over to you.
''Good morning Y/n! Your never up this early, get dressed and help me set up for breakfast!!''
You stared at her in shock, nodding your head.
'I see... Emma hasn't found out based off her reactions. She's fine now, I'm in the first episode. There's one scene that will confirm it for me though...''
You quickly grabbed the shirt and skirt off the hangers in the closet, not even bothering to check whos it was. You went in the bathroom and put them on, hurriedly following Emma not too far behind.
'I cant look suspicious. I have to act normal. Ill just observe her from a distance and see when Isabella comes in.'
In that exact moment, Isabella went right past you. You felt your eyes widen and the grip on your skirt tightening, now absolutely terrified. Thankfully, she didn't notice, but someone even worse did.
''Y/n? Are you okay?''
You turned around to find Norman looking at you with a concerned gaze.
'' I'm alright... Sorry I had a scary dream and I'm a bit out of it.'' You said rubbing in between your eyebrows with both hands.
''Oh, do you want to talk about it? '' Norman said as he placed a hand on your shoulder.
You felt your stomach leap and flinched slightly at his touch. He didn't seem to realise, or he did and knew you were in need of comfort so he didn't remove his hand.
''Thank you Norman... and yes maybe talking about it will make me feel better.'' You said, looking up at him with a small smile.
''Okay, after breakfast then.'' He said as he walked away with a smile on his face.
'Talking to Norman will make this all easier to comprehend and will allow me to seem more natural. He's understanding, but I have to be careful. He's a genius, he can easily piece two things together if I'm not cautious. What will be my lie? I have to think of this now. Ill be too distracted when sitting.'
The sight that came next confirmed to where you are in the timeline. Isabella laughed at Emma for acting like a 5 year old, it was exactly how it was in the first episode.
even in the state you were in, you smiled to yourself, more confident.
This was your chance.
You could finally be someone important.
Putting away your feelings, you thought back to what your lie could be while walking around, mentally memorizing the house.
'I can say I was in a dark hallway and felt watched... but how can that excuse my fear that will come out whenever I'm near Isabella?'
You sat down in your spot in front of Ray at the table, and looked up at him.
Your eyes widened.
He was exactly as you imagined, his green eyes peering at you through his dark hair, that narrowed when he saw the change in your behaviour.
'wait, Ray is the analyser. I can't let him know what's wrong.'
You recollected your thoughts once more and smiled at him, earning a nod in return.
You said your grace and started eating the food in front of you, slightly smiling to yourself.
'This is going to be fun.'