Caelum's icy disdain cuts through my heart like a knife, knocking the breath from me.
He's looking at me like I'm the shit on his shoe. Like I stole his dog, then dismembered it. Like I tossed it in a pot and ate it too.
"You're dishonoring the Hall with this mess." His voice is as cold as his gaze, and I wince.
I set down my backpack and clumsily take the pile from him.
Then he's gone without another word, quickly descending the staircase.
My stomach churns as he strides past Arielle, his head held high, still wearing that dark expression.
Ouch. That was some emotional whiplash shit right there.
What happened?
I feel sick as I glance down at what he's handed me, trying to make sense of his sudden change in demeanor. Orientation pamphlets, a few pictures, some quarters, a wrinkled bill of service for the only car my mom ever owned, which she sold when I was ten... and...
My pills. My orange bottle of ADHD meds.
I know it's the pills. It has to be. And I knew the second I glanced down, so I don't know why I'm trying to pretend anything else in this pile matters. They're the only thing here that's any different from the first two piles he handed me.
Does he think I'm a drug addict or something, because I have amphetamines?
Dishonoring the Hall.
I didn't ask to be pushed down the stairs!
Did I?
I really screwed up, making those girls my enemies. They're not messing around. I could have broken my damn neck.
My eyes are burning again as I shove the pile into my backpack. There's no way to zip it shut now, so I push down hard to try to get everything compact so the mess doesn't just spill back out onto the stairs.
"Let's go." Arielle's got her wand out, and her face is even paler than before. "You're holding everyone else up."
"Almost got it all." I grab the last few papers and quarters from the stairs below me and high-tail it down to the tiles below.
"What's your name?" Arielle asks brusquely.
"Lyric. Lyric Hart."
She closes her eyes and starts to wave her wand at the staircase. Then she freezes, and her light blue eyes snap back open.
"You missed something," she hisses at me.
"Sorry." I set my backpack down and jog up the stairs, scanning them.
She's right. I missed two quarters. Oops.
On my way back down, a flash of something catches my eye near the banister.
It's my moon necklace, caught between one of the slats in the railing. This thing seems determined to be left behind. I nearly missed it at home too, when it was stuck in the lock box lid.
I wish I had left it behind. I wish I left it all behind and just let it burn.
I snap up the necklace and hurry back to Arielle, hoping there's nothing else I missed.
She waves her wand as I zip the necklace and quarters into the small front pocket of my backpack. When I look up again, the staircase has vanished.
The two of us are all alone in here with the enormous wooden art-cube at the center of the dome.
"Why'd you get rid of the stairs if the next group is going up there?" I don't mean to say it aloud and annoy her, but I'm fresh out of ADHD-filters for the day. My body's aching all over, and my brain literally feels hot inside my skull, like an overheating computer.
"You shall learn all these secrets later," Arielle says mysteriously, "Once you've..." She flares her nostrils and pockets her wand. "Honestly?" She sighs, running her fingers through her white-blond hair, suddenly looking very overworked and older than she probably is. "It's all for dramatic effect. The next group is supposed to see the empty dome before they see the stairs."
Arielle straightens up, sucking in a breath, and I can almost see her willfully erasing the exhaustion from her face. Then she's off, zooming across the sparkly tiled floor so fast I can hardly keep up.
There's quite a crowd on the boardwalk outside.
It's not just our group anymore. There are several groups waiting in a line that extends as far as I can see down this part of the boardwalk. My face gets red all over again.
"Time to go," Arielle says to our group.
As we pass the next group in line, she sends an apologetic look to their leader, another green-robed graduate student.
The entire boardwalk seems to be full of students now, so it's noisier than it was on the walk here. Not peaceful at all. I try to inhale the scent of the Redwoods to fix my mood, but it's not working.
I'm too mortified. I just wanna run away into this forest and never come back again.
Of course, that would activate my blood pact's torture switch.
"I will honor my blood pact," I whisper, just in case.
I pick up my pace, sticking close to Arielle and trying to keep my head down so I don't have to accidentally interact with anyone else. Especially not the Bitch Triplets who want me dead. Or Vivian, who probably hates me now.
And especially not Caelum.
I don't even want to think about him, but he's all I can think about.
I've never had an experience like that before. Sure, I had a crush on Jason... I liked to stare at the back of his head and daydream that he might notice me... But Caelum actually did notice me.
And now all I want to do is fall into his arms again.
I'm pretty sure he wouldn't catch me this time.
I can't believe I stared into his eyes like that in front of everyone, like an idiot.
I mean, in the moment, it seemed like he was enjoying having me in his lap as much as I was enjoying being in his lap. Wishful thinking on my part. He's so good looking, he probably has girls falling into his lap all the damn time just to get his attention.
I've only been here a short time, but I already understand my place here. Caelum's got ArchGuardian parents, which makes him Atlantis Society royalty. I'm literally homeless and have nothing beyond what I'm wearing right now and carrying on my back.
Me crushing on him is not a story that's gonna end well. It's already taken a turn for the worse.
Besides, I have bigger problems to worry about than a stupid guy. I have to focus on understanding magick so I can pass the Entrance Trials.
I spend the rest of the walk Walter Mittying my inevitable failure and consequent execution.
I'm so screwed.
My nerves are a mess by the time we arrive back at the entrance to the main building.
All the kids who weren't on the boardwalk are here, milling around or waiting in groups to eventually go see the Hall too.
"Please board your buses!" Arielle quickly abandons us to go lead another waiting group to the Hall.
I squeeze my backpack to my chest with sweaty palms as everyone in my group spreads out on the sidewalk. A few people head for the buses, while others congregate in groups. I'm careful not to meet any eyes, but I think everyone's forgotten about me or dismissed me as unimportant anyway.
Good.
Now. Where's Chloe? Isn't she supposed to be here to bring me to a meeting with the chancellor?
I brush the stray curls out of my face and scan the crowd, looking for her.
The skin on the back of my neck prickles, and I slowly turn around.
Caelum's a few yards away with some guys. He's staring at me.
It's definitely not a good kind of staring. He's assessing me with icy intent.
I whirl back around, biting my lip hard enough to reopen that blasted cut again. What is his problem?
"Lyric?" Vivian appears at my side, looking abashed. "Sorry. I shouldn't have run down the stairs like that. I was just... Are you okay?"
I blink at her, shocked she's risking talking to me again after I made enemies of her idols.
"I'm fine." I try to give her a smile. "It's okay."
She perks up. "You sure? What even happened?"
"I just tripped." No way am I telling anyone I was pushed. Those girls will just lie and then make my life even more miserable.
I scan the crowd for Chloe again. I wanna get out of here. I'm pretty sure I can still feel Caelum's unfriendly eyes boring holes in my back.
"When you fell..." Vivian says in a hushed tone. "Oh, it was terrible. I saw it all."
I doubt that very much. She can't even see that I want to escape this conversation.
Where the hell is Chloe?
"I can not believe Caelum Westgard caught you. Of all people!" Vivian's staring past me, where Caelum's standing. "I was so sure you were gonna just bust your head open and bleed all over the stairs. Seriously. Then somehow, at exactly the right moment, he stepped into your way and caught you. Sooo lucky." She puts a hand over her heart and shakes her head, practically swooning over him.
"Yeah," I say weakly. "Lucky."
I get it. I was swooning too, until he decided I was trash.
She shakes her head and leans closer. "I just can't believe you fell into his arms. And then... he was just like... staring at you... and not letting go. What did he say to you? I saw him say something."
I inch away from her. "He just asked if I was okay."
"Sooo... Did he seem weird? Or normal?"
"Um... Normal, I guess." Why is she asking this? Oh yeah. That stuff she was saying in the gym, kidnappings and murders. Scandal, drama, gossip, whatever.
I let out a breath and casually glance back at Caelum. My stomach twists, and my heart sinks hard. The Bitch Triplets are all standing with his group.
And Esme is hanging off Caelum's arm with a huge smile on her face.
Are they dating? Probably. That would make sense. She's a snob.
And he's a snob too, for acting like that... judging me for my medication.
So why do I wish it was me hanging onto him right now, instead of her?
A small wave of pain courses through me, making me cold. I don't even want to contemplate another four years of unrequited crushing on a dumb boy. And four more years being bullied.
"We better find our buses. Be right back." Vivian walks past me, scanning the buses. In the distance, farther down the drive, there's a whole line of black Tesla SUVs.
Maybe Chloe's in one of them.
I can't help but risk another look at Caelum. Esme's standing on her tiptoes, whispering something in his ear.
I clench my hands into fists and tear my gaze away, my pulse racing.
It's time I finally admitted the truth.
I'm pathetic.
Chloe said sirens look for desperate, depressed people.
Easy prey.
And Amanda chose me.
I see her in my mind's eye—her siren self, all scales, glowing eyes, and sharp teeth. I shiver, and my throat closes.
I was in denial, but Chloe was right. I was lonely. And I was feeling down when I saw Jason. I was weak.
Amanda tricked me and used my weakness against me so she could freakin' hunt me. I was so willing to believe her lies... just to have a chance to date a boy. Just for a chance to feel normal. Like I belonged.
I was easy prey.
It was the same today, when I let those girls shove me down the stairs.
Easy. Prey.
I'm done being easy prey.
I'm done being desperate.
I'm done being pathetic.
I don't need anyone.
Good. Who would love you anyway? You'll always be pathetic and alone.
It's my mom's voice in my head. I don't know if she ever said that, but it's something she would have said.
"Shut up," I say under my breath.
"Well, I've got quite the hike." Vivian has returned. "I think bus eleven is way at the back. Hey... What's wrong?"
I try to fix whatever my expression is, but Vivian's distracted.
She's staring behind me, where Caelum and his friends are. Her wide eyes and black glasses make her look a bit like a studious owl. "What the heck are they doing here?"
I whirl around.
Life lesson 1,300,252: Never, ever, ever wonder if your day can get any worse.