To my surprise, Derek comes back inside to talk to Dominic. But he doesn't look at me once.
Is it wrong that I just want to make him feel as bad as I feel? For him this looks so easy.
For me it just feels like breaking up once again. Not that we were even actually together this time.
I look at the open cupboards filled with alcohol and my first impulse is to drink and forget.
If I drink and kiss anyone here, that might make him angry.
But I'm not that pathetic... and why do I still assume he would care? Why would he care? Derek made it very clear that I'm as dear to him as any other acquaintance.
Why does love feels this way, how did I even allow myself to get to this point...
The drunk boy that tried to talk to me thirty minutes ago is refilling his cup.
I walk towards him with no idea what I'm about to say but I just want to strike up a conversation since Nicole isn't here and Irène is god knows where.
Before he is even done with his cup he throws it in the sink and brings the bottle to his mouth.
"Fuck it," he murmurs.
He drinks from the whiskey bottle as I stand behind him waiting for this to end.
When he tilts his head back, a few ginger curls fall on his shoulder. His hair is quite long.
He turns around when he is done and puts the bottle on the cabinet. He finally sees me staring at him.
"Did you change your mind?" His yellow-green eyes glow.
"Just wondering how you can drink so much."
As if I don't drink exactly like this too.
"I drink everyday."
Perfect, an alcoholic just like me.
"What's your name?" he asks taking me by surprise. It feels like I haven't been getting to know people in ages. I'm always so distant and closed off.
"Veronica, what's yours?"
"Nice name, Veronica, see you later," he says as he walks past me without bothering to say his name.
This went well.
I stare at the vodka bottle until I force myself to be sober. At least tonight.
When I turn around, I see him talking to Dominic and Derek.
What the fuck?
My plan to make him jealous failed. How does he even know them? It didn't seem like Derek knew him before.
Derek looks at me for a second but I quickly look around, ignoring his gaze.
The only way I can stay away from him is if I stay away from Dominic and all these parties. This is harder than I thought it would be.
And the more I see him, the more it hurts.
Dominic leaves them alone as he comes to me with a joint between his fingers.
"You seem lonely," he says.
Nicole is studying and couldn't make it, plus she avoids certain parties, especially because it's Nathaniel's party and she didn't appreciate getting in trouble because of him.
"This is the worst party I've been to."
"Let's play truth or dare," Dom suggests.
"Ugh. No," I mutter.
I'm just tired of that game.
"Trust me on this."
I shouldn't have agreed, especially because I'm sober-er than I've ever been. If that's a word.
I quickly notice Derek has absolutely no intention to play this game and I'm somewhat glad. It's enough that he will see me getting it on because I plan to make him livid and I won't stop until he throws me out of here himself.
Irène and Shanice come back together after Dominic brings us more drinks.
Shanice's lipstick is quite smudged and Irène's dress seems a little bit more shorter than it was at first.
Oh.
To my surprise, the alcoholic guy joins us too.
I hope Nathaniel isn't yet here because the last thing I want to do is be dared to kiss him or touch him, and I know how freaky Dominic is.
I quickly glance at Derek leaning against the cabinet, just looking at his cup.
Is he drinking tonight too?
I look away before he notices me.
I know I said I'd move on, but I just want one more little game to piss him off.
I'll even delete his number when I get home.
Dominic and the alcoholic guy are sitting near me and Dom puts an empty beer on the table.
"Brandon, you start," Shanice says.
The alcoholic guy spins it and it lands on Irène. Dominic has to ask the question.
So his name is Brandon, I just know he is frustrated he couldn't keep the mystery for longer.
"Tru-"
Irène talks over him. "Dare."
"Hmm. Good. Let me think," Dominic says as he looks at each one of us. "I dare you to kiss Derek without telling him it's a dare."
I gasp.
No one else is shocked, Irène is barely surprised. I don't understand why Dominic would ask that, knowing how damn jealous I get.
"He isn't even playing," I say, trying to keep my calm.
"Doesn't matter," he replies, smirking.
He knows exactly what he is doing.
I know Derek doesn't like her at all, not even as friends and it's the same for Irène, but it will still sting to see them kiss.
Irène glances at me and shrugs innocently. I look at Shanice and she doesn't seem to take it lightly either.
She must really like Irène.
Irène goes to Derek with confidence and he puts down the glass when she is close.
He looks at me before she makes her move.
Everyone here is looking at them so he is probably already thinking something is up.
Irène is subtle, I can't hear what she is saying but his expression slightly eases and he smiles a bit.
He is so cute when he smile-
No.
Irène suddenly grabs Derek's face and kisses him.
He seems surprised and takes a step back but she is already letting go of him.
So just a quick kiss?
I'm relieved.
Derek says something to her and she smiles to us as she walks back to the couch.
I accidentally look at him and he is already looking my way.
"That was so boring," a boy playing truth or dare with us says.
"Just like the dare," Irène claps back.
"True, weak dare," Dom says.
Irène spins the bottle this time and it lands on Dominic.
"Truth. I'm scared of your dares," he says and we laugh.
"If you got to have a threesome with anyone in this room, who would you do it with and why?"
"Shanice and Veronica. No question," he says and I burst out in laughter. Why me?
"Why?" Shanice asks as she scrunches her nose.
I can't even imagine a threesome with Shanice and Dominic without cringing.
"You just seem the most submissive ones here."
"Oh my God, Dom-" I laugh out loud.
"Yes, you will say that in bed too."
Brandon almost spits out his drink and Irène leans back into the couch, holding her stomach from laughing.
"I'm not that submissive!" I protest, remembering the last time I had sex.
"I don't see Shanice being submissive at all," a girl says.
Irène bursts out laughing again, confirming to me that maybe Shanice is only dominant with us.
"Spin the fucking bottle, I'll have nightmares all night," I say.
"We need to know the details!" Brandon provokes him and I nudge his shoulder, hoping he stops.
"Shut up, Dom," Irène says before he speaks.
I spin the bottle and it lands on me but Brandon has to ask the question.
"Truth or dare, Veronica?" he smiles and his green eyes shine with mischief.
"Truth, of course."
"Coward," Dominic adds.
I roll my eyes and Brandon thinks about his question.
I quickly check if Derek is still there but to my disappointment, he left.
Maybe he went to the bathroom. Hopefully, alone.
"What's your body count?" Brandon asks, maybe a bit too curious. I expected a better question from him.
"Four."
The British hotel boy, Alexander, Felix and Derek.
Do I have to include the rapist?
"Weak question, Brandon," Dominic says. "I have better plans for Ronnie."
Good thing I won't pick dare.
After a few rounds of truths and dares, Dominic asks Derek to join us.
This isn't good...
Irène spins the bottle and it points to me but Dominic has to ask question.
Remember what I said about not picking dare? Well, I changed my mind. I just hope Dominic will make me kiss someone who isn't Derek.
"Dare."
"Brave." Irène chuckles.
"Suck Derek's finger like he is getting his best blow job ever," Dominic dares me.
I wanted to make him jealous... not make this harder for us.
"Come on, it's not like you've never done this stuff with him," Shanice says and everyone laughs except for us.
I look at Derek awkwardly. It was supposed to happen eventually but he got arrested.
I've never sucked his dick, there are still things we didn't do and that we will never do now.
What a loss for him, though.
My heart is pounding in my chest as I move to sit near Derek, suddenly feeling more timid than ever before.
I sit on Derek's lap just like Dominic instructed and I take a deep shaky breath, trying to hide how nervous I am.
Derek's hand is on my thigh, slightly moving in circular motions but I force myself to ignore it.
Everything Derek does is on purpose, he is aware of what he is doing and how I feel around him.
"It feels like I'm on pornhub," the girl says and they laugh. Even Derek. I force myself to fake smile so I look less nervous. It feels weird doing this in front of everyone. I should have known not to pick dare.
I could refuse but I don't really want to.
I lean slightly forward and I whisper in Derek's ear, "you could have refused this."
"No. No talking if we can't hear it!" Dominic yells before Derek can answer.
I'm sober and Derek seems just as sober as me, his breath is minty and fresh.
It feels like we are in slow motion.
"Wait, no, use two fingers," Dom says.
He brings the longest two fingers to my lips and I look up at him—as Dom said obviously—and I gently put them in my mouth.
This is incredibly weird, awkward and sexy at the same time.
Shanice and Irène laugh. I would laugh too.
I swear I'm going to make Dom pay for this.
Derek's fingers are quite long and thick. I knew this already but it's different when they are in my mouth.
I keep looking at Derek's light blue eyes, focusing on what I need to do.
I have to show him what he lost and prove everyone else I'm not only submissive.
Derek doesn't even look at my eyes, he is directly looking at his finger resting on my tongue, my lips softly pressed against them.
I'm annoyed to admit I'm getting turned on. He could probably do anything and it would still turn me on.
I start sucking on Derek's fingers without breaking eye contact and I grind my body against his just for revenge.
I make sure to suck his fingers deep but slowly picking up in pace after. I notice his jaw tightening.
No words are needed.
His hands travels to my waist and he holds me as I suck on his fingers faster.
To be honest, if we were alone, I'd fuck him again with no regrets.
I hope no one at this party is noticing us too much, since it's darker in this corner of the room.
I hear giggles from everyone else but I try to ignore them as I keep doing my dare until Dom asks me to stop.
I let his fingers leave my mouth, wet with my saliva as I look at Derek again. I move my body against his a bit rougher this time and he breaths out as if he held his breath the entire time. He is lucky he has those dark jeans on.
I suck on his fingers harder and rougher this time, deeper than I previously did.
I swear to god I feel his thing growing right under my crotch but not by much as the tight material of his jeans is not allowing much space.
And this is for the best. It's always weird at it is.
I stop grinding and I start praying Dom tells me to stop, because I know we won't control ourselves if we continue.
I haven't once looked away from Derek.
I softly suck his finger for one last time as he slips out of my mouth. Dominic let us go on for way too long.
I lick my lips without looking away and I slightly move my hips as a reminder to what he lost.
"Damn, girl, that was sexy," Dominic says as he finally stops the dare.
I stand up and the first thing I look at is Derek's crotch, checking to see if I caused too much damage.
Derek doesn't take his eyes off me as I sit in my seat between Dom and Brandon.
I smile at Dominic, proud of my work.
"Still, you were submissive as fuck," he retorts and my smiles falls.
"Fuck off."
"That was so hot, it's as if it was the first and the last time," Shanice says.
Yeah, because it is.