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Yours
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Chapter 33: Yours (Emilia's POV)
He opened the door for me and I walked into our room, dropping my purse on the TV cabinet and going to sit on the bed so I could take my heels off. I crouched down, pulling one leg over the other but froze when he knelt down in front of me and without looking at me or uttering one word to me, unstrapped the heels and took them off, leaving them on the side before resting one arm on his knee. "Emmy."
I blinked, staring back at him. He moved forward a bit, grabbing my hands that rested on my thighs.
"Are you mad at me?" he asked.
I shook my head softly.
"Really? Because it feels like you are. And if you are, then that's okay. But please tell me."
I paused, swallowing. "I'm really not mad at you, Adam," I whispered.
"Okay," he said softly, "I believe you... Are you okay?"
I nodded.
"Are you hurt anywhere?"
"No."
"All right. It's still bothering you, right?"
"No."
"Rubes."
"It's really not. That's not what's bothering me."
"You want to tell me what is?"
"I've..." I thought about how to phrase this. "I've never seen you so out of control. Or so angry at someone. I've seen you upset, but not furious like that. It didn't scare me but I'm just surprised, I guess. I didn't know you'd do that."
He sighed softly. "Emilia, I would kill anybody who tries to hurt you without a second thought. I don't care who it is or what they did, if someone even looks at you or touches you the wrong way, I'm not thinking about what I should be doing. I'm just doing what I want to. I'm breaking the guy's face," he huffed, glancing away from me.
"You did. He was bleeding," I mumbled quietly.
"Serves him right. How dare he touch you and say all that shit?"
"I didn't understand half of it, so... It's fine. It happened, I don't want to think about it. Or talk about it."
"I understand," he nodded.
"People recognized you there," I told him. "After Aspen pulled you aside, people realized who you were. Brandon... Wait, his name is Brandon, right? That boy with Georgia?"
He nodded.
"Yeah. His friends. They knew you right away, but they didn't really do much. There were other guys there who knew you. Can't that be a problem? If people find out?"
He stared at me, a little surprised. "Are you worried about that?"
"A little. I mean, won't that affect you?" I fidgeted with his hands, crossing and uncrossing his fingers in my lap.
"No," he answered. "No, Emmy, why would that change anything?"
"What are you going to say? When your manager calls you or when there's an article about this somewhere?" I scoffed softly. "You'll be in trouble."
"I'll tell them the truth. That I did it because someone was hurting you. And it's you. You mean a lot to me and I would never let someone do that to you. I'll tell them I did it because I l—" He stopped abruptly and took in a breath.
I stared at him, hoping he'd say it. I wanted him to say it.
"I probably shouldn't say it until we've talked everything out," he sighed, his head dropping. "Right?"
"Then maybe we should talk everything out," I blurted out, regretting it almost instantly.
He stared at me, his brows twitching.
"I mean... is there really that much to talk about? You know what, forget I said anything," I huffed, trying to lay down, only for him to tug me back up.
"No. No, I... I can't forget." We stared at each other for a second and I know for a fact that he could read the nervousness on my face.
I didn't know what the right thing for us would be. To talk about everything right now and get it out of the way before either one of us admitted the very important truth. That we loved each other. Or maybe we should just say that and leave the big talk about the past until we get home.
But... What if it goes wrong? What if we talk about this in New York, end up arguing, and ruining everything? Then our 'I love you's' would be for nothing.
"I know you think I hate you for doing what you did back then, Adam."
He released a breath. "Because you do."
"I do, you're right," I nodded.
I guess we're doing this now then.
"I tried really hard to convince myself that I don't hate you, just what you did. I wish that was true but it isn't. I'm sorry. I hated you then for going about things the way you did. But you did that then."
"So did you," he replied, gently. "You did the exact same thing as me. I know I'm the one who changed the plan and I take full responsibility for that. That was all me and I am so sorry about that, Emilia. But just how I didn't want to compromise, neither did you."
I nodded softly, accepting it. I've never thought it was just his fault. But nobody ever wants to admit to their mistakes and take ownership because nobody wants to be the reason they lose the one person they know is right for them. Neither did I. "I know," I whispered. But I also knew I had to if I ever wanted to move on from what happened between us in the past. "I'm sorry too. But I don't regret my decision, Adam. If I gave up what I could have had for you then... I might have hated myself. And the same goes for you."
He nodded softly. "Do you still hate me now?"
"No," I shook my head. "Do you still hate me?"
He shook his head too. "I never hated you, Emilia. I couldn't, no matter how much I wanted to, no matter how hard I tried. I really wanted to. But I knew it wasn't all your fault. I thought you completely blamed me though."
"I didn't, Adam. When we met again here, I realized you thought I blamed you for it all. It felt like you were just waiting for me to snap and blame it all on you. You were... weren't you?"
He nodded sheepishly.
"Well, I don't. I don't just blame you. I did once right after it happened. Then I spent a long time only blaming myself. And it was after that, that I realized it wasn't just your fault or mine, it was both of us. We both messed up because..." I trailed off with a small shrug, not knowing what to say.
"Because we didn't value what we had when we had it, Em."
I felt a little anger twitch inside of me when he said that. "No," I began. "No, I don't think that's the right phrase. I valued what we had, Adam."
"Really? You didn't show it," he replied nonchalantly.
I blinked in surprise, gawking at him.
Did he really just say that to me?
He shot me a pointed look. "Emilia, you didn't. Come on. You never even told me you liked me."
Okay... he wasn't totally wrong. I didn't show it all the time, I guess.
"Did you like me?"
"Yeah."
"You never told me either."
He paused and then nodded softly. "All right, fair enough."
I stared at him, still playing with his fingers while we sat in silence for a minute.
"Are we friends, Emmy?" he asked.
"Of course, we are, Adam. We're best friends."
"I want to be more though. Do you?"
I looked down at our hands. I was scared, I really didn't want to lose whatever we've worked on while we're here.
What if we get together and it doesn't work out? We'll lose it all.
But I really liked him. I loved him and I didn't want to give this up without even taking a chance. I lifted my eyes back to his. "I do," I admitted.
He moved up on both knees, reaching my height while I stayed seated on the bed. His hands slipped out of mine, moving to my waist and then the small of my back before he tugged me forward, pulling me to the very edge of the bed and so much closer to him. "I really like you," he whispered, staring at me.
"I really like you too," I whispered back, a small smile tugging at my lips while I reached up to run my fingers through his hair, pushing it back. It felt like he was the electricity running through my soul. There was so much I wanted to do with him and for once, it didn't feel like we wouldn't have enough time. It felt like we had all the time in the world.
"I want to be with you. For good, for as long as you're willing to have me. Through whatever it takes."
"Adam, so am I. You have no idea how important you are to me, how much you mean to me."
He reached up, holding the nape of my neck and pulling me forward gently. "I love you, Rubes," he said, his eyes darting down to my lips.
My heart leaped at his words and a grin spread across my lips. I moved, resting my arms around his neck and pulling him in while I leaned forward. "I love you too."
He stared at me silently, his eyes dancing across my entire face before dropping to my lips again. He took a quick breath before jerking me forward as he leaned in, our lips colliding in a kiss. In our first real kiss, one that actually meant a lot to both of us. He tightened his arm around my waist and had me sliding forward while my legs went around his waist instinctively, bringing him even closer. His lips moved against mine and I felt sparks flying all over my body.
Nothing has ever made me happier than finally being with him like this after all these years. We both pulled away after a while as he loosened his hold on me and I eased my legs back down. I chuckled softly, feeling my cheeks heat up at the way he stared at me. "Stop," I laughed, pushing him gently. "Don't do that."
"I didn't do anything," he smirked, moving up and sitting beside me.
I turned to him, pausing, not sure if this was the right question to ask. "You said you liked me back then."
He nodded, humming.
"Why didn't you do anything then?" I asked softly.
He seemed a little reluctant to answer. "I was scared of ruining our friendship, of losing what we had. And the way I felt..." he trailed off.
I blinked in realization. "You... you were scared of the way I made you feel because you didn't want to feel anything for me at all. Am I right?"
He nodded. "But I couldn't help myself. I fell for you back then anyway. And I fell for you now."
"Do you think you loved me like I loved you?"
He answered honestly, which I appreciated. "No. I think you loved me first. But I think I'll love you harder, Emmy."
"Why?" I inquired.
"Because you... create the most beautiful chaos in my mind," he chuckled softly. "I go crazy just thinking about you and being with you. To me, you're like a drug. One I would gladly overdose on. You were, you are, and you will be my forever always. I'm all yours, you're all mine and nothing has ever made me happier."
I grinned helplessly. "I am yours, you are mine. And nothing has ever made me happier either."
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Chapter 33
IT FINALLY HAPPENED!!
Also, I know some of you guys want smut and some of you don't so I'm not sure if I will write it but if a moment is building up to it, I probably will but I'll give you guys a warning at the start of the chapter in case you don't want to read it so dw
I know some of you like my books because I never wrote smut but yk like I started writing when I was like freaking 13 as I get older and the more books I read and write, the closer to New Adult they get
and like I think the sex in a book is important too so I will be writing smut in my books in general unless it's super vanilla and I just don't want to
just putting that out there
anyways, next chapter: pretend