*Justin*
Saturday
8:47 AM
"It was so awesome to see you." Hunter smiled, giving Bella a hug goodbye.
"You too. I'm glad you got to come up."
"Next time you're taking off so I can see you more."
"I definitely will." She smiled, wrapping her arms around my torso.
"Good luck bud."
"You too." Hunter winked, nodded his head at Bella, then disappeared on the plane to Washington.
"Why did he wink at you?" She laughed, tilting her head to look at me.
"Because he loves me." I shrugged, chuckling with her as I turned as around and slipped my arm around her waist as we started to walk. "So what do you want to do today besides dinner?"
"I'm not sure. It doesn't really matter."
"Oh come on. I haven't seen you in what feels like forever. There has to be something. We could make cookies, cuddle and watch movies, go out and walk around for a bit. It's been a while since we've done that."
"You know that will probably end up with me shopping."
"I don't mind."
"I'm not going to argue or object- so if you are saying you don't mind I'm going to take you up on that."
"You should get some new dresses. Black ones- or red."
"And why is that?" She asked as I opened the door to outside, letting her step outside first and grabbed her hips, pulling her back into me and pecked her neck.
"Because you look sexy as hell in those."
"I like pink."
"I know you like pink." I chuckled, kissing her neck again as I took a step forward. "But the black...especially the black..."
"Doesn't sound like we are talking about dresses anymore."
"What do you think we're talking about? I was really talking about dresses."
"Mhm." She nodded, taking my hand and pulled me forward, her sweater falling off her shoulder.
"Are you not wearing a bra?"
"Stop." She blushed, walking faster and giving my hand a tug.
"You're not!"
"Hush up. I don't need to all the time. It's a perk."
I laughed, pressing her up against the car.
"That's funny."
"Hilarious." She playfully rolled her eyes, standing up on her tiptoes so she could kiss me on the lips. "Want to grab some lunch?"
"That sounds good." I nodded, pecking her lips again. "Whatcha feel like?"
"Doesn't matter to me. I'm flexible. You can pick."
"How about we drive around and figure it out as we go?" I asked, tucking her hair back behind her ear- causing a blush to sweep across her cheeks.
"Ok."
"Why are you blushing?"
"I don't know." She blushed again, her hands quickly flying up to cover her cheeks. "You just do things to me."
"Well, it's good to know that I still do that after all this time." I pulled her hands off her face, bringing them around my neck and pressed my lips against her forehead.
"Of course you do. I don't think that will ever change."
"I remember how nervous you used to get."
"Yeah, that still happens too- depending."
"It's cute." I chuckled, giving her a tug closer and kept my lips against her forehead. "Want Panera?"
"Mmmm, that sounds good. It's been a long time since I've had Panera."
"Alright, then Panera is a plan." I went to pull away, going to get the door for her to the car.
"No, wait," She pulled me back, pressing her lips against mine, my hands lightly gripping the sides of her waist again. "I love you."
"I love you too." I whispered, running my thumb over her bottom lip, then I let go, getting the door for her.
"Thank you."
"You're very welcome." I pecked her cheek, then went around to my side of the car and hopped in.
The ride was nice, we listened to music- like we used to, singing at the top of our lungs with Bella laughing so hard she was crying.
"Oh my gosh, that was great." Bella laughed, wiping her eyes as I took her hand and got the door for her before we walked inside.
"I don't think I have ever seen you laugh so hard."
"That's because you're a dork and I love you." She stood up on her tippy toes, kissing my cheek.
"You're a dork too."
"But I'm your dork."
"Of course you are...know whatcha want?"
"I'm not sure." She shrugged, wrapping her arms around torso and leaned her head against my shoulder. "Do you?"
"I think so. We can share something if you want. Doesn't matter to me."
"Yeah, that sounds good. I'm definitely getting a green tea though."
"You and your tea." I kissed the top of her head, then she let go and took my hand while I ordered for both of us.
I led her to a booth, letting her in first and sat beside her, putting my arms around her again.
"Are you feeling ok?" She laughed, twisting so she could put the back of her hand on my forehead.
"Yeah, I'm fine. Why?"
"I don't know," She shrugged, smiling as I kissed her cheek again. "Stuff like that. We just- I don't know."
"I know we really haven't seen much of each other- I'm just excited about today, and spending time with my baby. That's all."
"Alright." She blushed, taking a sip of her drink.
"I'll go get our stuff. I'll be back."
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*Bella*
"I'd say overall it was a successful day."
"Because you got new clothes?"
"That and I've spent time with you." Justin cutely smiled, looking down at me from where we sat on the couch. "I've really missed you."
"I've missed you too."
He nestled his face into my neck, wrapping his arms around my waist.
"How are you? And I mean, how are you? We haven't...actually talked."
"I'm alright...I've been stressed out, and tired, frustrated. I don't know. It's been harder these past few weeks- honestly."
"I'm sorry. I know I haven't really been the best boyfriend in the-"
"No. It's ok. Finding a balance is hard. It's not just you. It's me too- so I'm sorry. I need to actually talk about how I feel."
"I think it's something we both need to get better at." He pecked my cheek, moving his hand along my leg.
"Yeah, yeah we do."
My phone started buzzing on the table, and I sighed, deciding just to ignore it.
"You should get that." Justin said into my ear, moving to help me up.
"But it's probably just work. I'm not going in today."
"It's not work though. You should get it."
I pushed myself up, looking at the number on the screen and raised an eyebrow.
My phone didn't have that number.
So I answered, now sitting up on the couch.
"Hello?"
"Hi Bells. How's it going?"
That's a voice I would recognize anywhere.
My hand flew up to my mouth, and I practically bursted into tears- happy tears, hearing the sound of my father's voice.
"Dad?"
"The one and only. How are you doing? How is it there? Do you like it?"
"Yeah," I nodded quickly, wiping my eyes and saw Justin smiling at me. "It was a big adjustment, but I'm getting used to it. I have a job at a record label. Justin's doing some engineering work. How's everything at home? What about Josh? Have you talked to Mom?"
"We're all okay. We miss you very much. Josh is here with me. He wants to talk when I'm done. I'm really glad you're doing well."
I looked at Justin, then the stairs, and he smiled at me, nodding his head.
So I went upstairs to our room, plopping down on our bed.
"It was great at first." I closed my eyes, leaning back. "I know we had to do it. I know it was dangerous at home. And I know we've been through a lot as a family- but I miss home. It's been almost two months. I had to start all over again here. I have one friend Dad- at least a girl I know at this point is actually my friend. Then I have Justin. I can't trust anyone. There's like no seasons here. But I love him. I know he's probably feeling the same way. We've barely talked about any of this. I don't want to- disappoint him I guess. I know I need to talk to him. I'm sorry I'm pouring this all out. I just feel like I have no one to talk to about all this. I'm sorry. I guess I'm just stressed out- and homesick. It's been hard."
"I'm sorry, sweetheart. I know you've probably heard this before, and I know you're probably tired of it- but this is only a temporary thing. I know it's hard because I hate not being able to call you whenever I want- or see you- but this is only a temporary thing. It's all going to die down. Eventually you'll be able to come home- if that's what you want. It's all to keep you safe, and that's what we want- including Justin. I know how wrong I was in the beginning, but I know he loves you, and I know that he will do anything to make you happy. I think you should talk to him. You just have to bring it up and get it out of the way and you'll feel so much better after you talk about it. You know he's the reason I called right? He put up such a fight with everybody to make sure we had a phone call. I admire him. He doesn't take no for an answer."
"He went and talked to Benny? He made them give us a phone call?"
"Yeah, yeah he did."
"Wow, that's- wow."
"I think you're right. I know it's hard, believe me I do," Dad sighed, a little tremble in his voice. "But I know you're going to come home soon and this will all pass."
"Yeah, I know it will. I just have to be patient."
"Exactly- well I'm going to give your brother the phone now. He's dying over here. I love you."
"I love you too, Dad."
Next I talked to josh- and there was no more crying. Just laughter.
When I got off the phone, I practically ran downstairs- ignoring whatever justin said and plopped down in his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck.
"Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you."
"You're welcome." He chuckled, kissing the side of my head and hugged me back. "I'm glad you got to talk to them."
"Me too. My dad and I had a good talk- a really nice talk. It was a little weird."
"That's a good thing though. Hopefully I'll get to talk to them next time. I'm glad Benny actually did it. I'm just tired of us feeling so isolated- and I want you to be happy."
"I know you do." I nodded once, my head rested against his. "I know I should talk to you more. I haven't been- and I'm sorry. We both need to. I know it's because we don't want to upset the other but we just...we need that. I feel like you're all I have here and if I don't even go to you to talk about things I'm not going to talk to anyone."
"You know you can talk to me about anything- but you're right. I haven't been either...I could just tell. And I know this past week didn't help but-"
"This past week was fine. I'm not upset about that. I don't want you to think I am. I'm so happy Hunter was here. You were so happy this week. I want to see that again. I...I was mad at the fact that you weren't seeming that happy when it was just me. I'm worried later down the line we are going to resent each other for this- for leaving our families."
"Listen to me," He slid his hand on my neck, moving his thumb along my cheek. "You and I both made choices. I'm ok with mine. I know what it meant when I agreed to it. I'm never going to resent you for this. I know how hard it's been, but I promise I'm never going to be mad at you for coming here with me. I could not imagine my life without you. I promise I'll get better at talking to you, and being there for you. You shouldn't feel like you can only talk to your therapist. I don't want to be part of the problem. You know how important you are to me. So I'm sorry these past few weeks we've been distant from each other...I just want you to be happy."
"I want you to be happy. I want us to be happy. It's been so hard finding a balance between work, school, and us. Sometimes I think about everything- and it's like we haven't even had time to process all this."
"I know exactly what you mean. We've been distracted."
"And I'm thankful for that- but then at the same time those distractions are also hurting me- us."
"We have to make more time for us- and sweetheart- these past few weeks you've been working constantly. Don't be afraid to take some me time too, ok?"
"I know, and that's nice and everything- I want to...I don't know, Justin. I need- girlfriends first."
"What about Julie? I like her."
"Me too...I know I just need to be able to trust people again. It's not fair to her- or anyone else genuinely trying to be my friend. I'm just scared."
"I know baby, I know. But that's all going to get better. That's probably the same reason I don't really have anyone else here yet- ok that is the reason- I've been focusing on you and school...so I understand exactly where you're coming from."
"I want you to have guy friends. You deserve to have a night with boys where you can watch sports- complain about me- not that I would want to know that. You just need guy time too."
"With time that'll come. I appreciate that though- a lot. That's kind of what this week was for me- along with a day of you."
"It's just- we've been here now for two months- over two months..."
"I know. It's the whole trust thing. It'll get better."
"I love you." I whispered, kissing his forehead.
"I love you too."
"And I hope you know I'm not getting up." I giggled, brushing my lips against his.
"That's ok. I'm pretty comfortable."
"Good. Me too." I smiled, holding onto his neck and leaned in a little more, pressing my lips softly against his in a sweet kiss.
"Remember when we did this at my parents house?" He asked, kissing me again. "Except we were outside, and you were a little closer."
"Yeah, I remember."
"That was a fun time."
"Making out on your parents porch. Definitely one to check off the list. Although I think I enjoyed you sneaking into my room a little more."
"Oh I bet."
"We ate Oreos once. And Pringles."
"Now I want them."
"Do we need to go out?"
"Nah, I'm really comfortable right now, and you're certainly not going anywhere."
"Alright." I giggled, resting my face in his neck. "You smell good."
"Really? I'm just wearing deodorant."
"Mhm," I nodded, hugging him a little tighter. "All the time."
"Well, that's a good thing. I don't have to try that hard."
"You don't have to try that hard at anything." I pecked his lips, smiling ear to ear. "Ever."
He kissed me again after that, and I smiled, adjusting so I straddled him.
This is what made me smile. Just being with each other.
"Do you have homework to do tomorrow?" I broke away, resting my nose in his cheek.
"What? Why?"
"Because I don't...and I thought maybe we could go to the beach- the boardwalk- I don't know." I shrugged, playing with his shirt.
"A little, but I wouldn't mind going to the beach, or to the boardwalk, whatever you want to do."
"Ok." I nodded, biting down on my lip.
"Can I go back to kissing you now?"
"Sure." I laughed, running my fingers through his hair.
__________________________
*Justin*
9:39 PM
I sat up in our room, waiting for Bella to come back upstairs while I fiddled with my guitar.
I wanted to get back into it. I had time - I had no reason not to play anymore. I used to be really good.
I had to ask her to go to the formal too - I know we were in college, but I really wanted to ask her - I never got to - and when she asked me to go to prom with her - well I ruined that.
I knew how I was going to ask her, I just had to do it.
That took me longer to figure out than how I was asking her to marry me.
"Look at you." Bella smiled, crawling beside me and kissed my cheek.
"Yeah, I was just messing around. I was getting ready to put it away for the night."
"You always do that when I come in the room."
"I'm sorry," I chuckled a little, setting my guitar in the case and wrapped my arm around her shoulders, kissing the side of her head. "I promise I'll play in front of you again when I'm not actually rusty."
"And sing with me."
"I will - I do that now."
"I know, and I love it." She smiled, pressing her lips to my cheek, trailing down to my neck. "It makes me happy."
"I know it does."
"So you're done everything for the night?"
"Mhm, you?"
"Mhm."
"Good." I smiled, flipping us over so she was under me and kissed the tip of her nose. "You're in my shirt."
"Is that a problem?"
"Yes." With a nod, I reached down, pulling my shirt over her head and pecked her lips. "All better."
"Dork." She pulled me back down, wrapping her arms back around my neck.
Yeah, I guess it was a pretty successful day.
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I feel like this was short. :/ I'm getting ready to write the next chapter now. I really miss you guys. I'm going to get better at updating. Senior year is kicking my butt. My only free days are basically tuesdays...it'll get better after I graduate.
TALK TO ME AND COMMENT :) I'm so happy I get to update. The next chapter will be quite...interesting...woohoo....
Actually...I think it might be the last chapter of this book...