tori's pov
i knock on michael's door. why am i even here? who in the right mind would knock on someone's door at 2 in the morning? what am i doing?
i don't even know why i'm here. i don't know why. all i know is i couldn't sleep and instead of texting michael, like a normal person, i'm here at his door. is he even awake? this is stupid.
theres no response. i decide to knock once more. i don't exactly know why.
i begin walking away, when theres light around me, i look behind myself, looking at the door. the outside light is on. someone turned it on.
and then the door opens. and it's michael. he obviously just threw a hoodie on, he has buffalo patterned pajama pants on. his hair is a mess. like the one time i came here quite a few months back.
he squints at me, before putting his hand into his hoodie pocket and fishing out his glasses. he puts them on, and then he can see me.
'tori?'
i stand there and say nothing.
'why're you here so early?'
again, i say nothing, but i walk towards him, close enough to where he wraps me in a hug.
'i don't know. 'm sorry.' i muffle into his hoodie.
theres silence for a second. he holds me in his arms and it feels comforting, so, so comforting.
'c'mon, let's go inside, it's cold.' he lets me out of his embrace and i follow him inside. he asks if i want to go to his room. i say yes.
we walk into his room and sit down on his bed. i look over at his wall. it's got photos of me and him together. it makes me smile on the inside.
'what's wrong?' he asks as he props himself against pillows.
'i couldn't sleep. my mum and i got in a fight earlier this evening. i was upset about that. i don't know. i just—'
my voice starts getting caught up in my throat. my eyes begin getting watery. i'm not gonna cry. not gonna cry. i'm not going to cry.
michael gives my hand a small squeeze. i look up at him through watery eyes. he adjusts himself and then softly whispers 'come here' and so i do. i sit down on his lap and he wraps his arms around me and hugs me tightly.
'i'm sorry.' i say, my face in the crook of his neck. 'i'm sorry if i woke you up.'
he lets out a soft sigh and rubs my back. 'it's okay, tor, you didn't wake me up, it's alright.'
'but it's 2 am.'
'i wasn't able to sleep either.'
i don't know how to respond. so i don't.
he softly lays kisses on the back of my neck.
'd'you want to talk about it?' he says after a few minutes.
'about what?'
'your fight with your mum.'
i think for a second.
'not really.' i sigh.
'that's okay.'
'can you just hold me?' i ask. and after saying it i realize how pathetic it sounds.
'yeah. i can do that.'
michael picks up my hand and gently kisses it.
'i'm sorry i'm like this all the time.' i mutter. 'i'm sorry i only depend on you.'
'tor..' he says and then picks up my head. theres tears in my eyes and he definitely notices because he kisses me before squeezing me as close as he can to his chest.
'you don't have to apologize.' his hand soothes the back of my neck. 'i'm actually glad you depend on me. i'm glad you're able to trust me.'
i bury my face back into the crook of his neck and i start crying.
'i'm sorry.'
michael shushes me.
'don't apologize, tori, theres no reason to. you did nothing wrong, i promise.'
i look up at him and give him a look he knows way too well. a look of plead, a desperate need for something. and it's always the same thing, because he knows it.
i grasp the collar of his hoodie and he connects our lips. i look into his green eye and i can see worry. i'm crying. i'm crying alot.
we disconnect our lips to breath, michael stares into my eyes.
'it's all going to be okay.' he says quietly. 'you're safe with me.'
i look up at him through lidded eyes and nod. he grabs tissues from his bedside table and wipes my tears falling from my cheeks, while doing this, he mutters quiet things. words of sympathy.
the tears still keep coming, now for no reason, or maybe a reason.
maybe because i'm not used to being cared for. i'm not used to people actually caring for me.
he hums a melody to a song i've never heard before — or maybe i have, and maybe i've just forgotten it, but it's so peaceful. maybe i'm crying, but it's okay.
'thank you.' i say after a few moments. 'i'm so thankful for you. i wouldn't.' i pause. 'i wouldn't rather be anywhere except with you.'
he looks at me and smiles.
'i wouldn't rather be anywhere except with you too.'
i smile at him. the good smile. the smile you smile after you cry and someone's actually listened. comforted you. that feeling. that overwhelming feeling.
'i love you so much.' i hug him tightly and bury my head in to his chest. 'i love you so fucking much.'
'i love you too, tor.' he kisses the top of my head.
'd'you wanna go get hot cocoa?' he asks after a few minutes.
'yeah.' i say and he smiles.
i get off his lap and we then we walk out of his room, into the kitchen. michael's mum sits at the counter, watching something on her phone, until she notices we're in the room after thirty seconds.
'hey michael!' she smiles happily, but confused, and then she realizes that michael is not the only one in the room.
'well, hello to you aswell! i didn't realize you were here! what're you two up at this hour?' she laughs
i look up at michael, i don't feel like explaining.
'tori got in a fight with her mum and couldn't sleep. she got here about an hour ago.'
'oh, you poor thing, are you alright?' she asks me.
'yeah, i'm okay.'
'that's good, go ahead and come over whenever you need!' she smiles.
'thank you.'
'of course!! you are my daughter-in-law.' she winks, specifically at michael.
'we haven't even made it official we're dating, mum!! it hasn't even been six months.' michael complains.
michael's mum laughs.
'well, go ahead and get whatever you need from here. i'm going back to bed.'
michael nods and she leaves the room.
'she hasn't stopped pestering me about how i might have a girlfriend!' michael whines and i laugh.
he easily makes me a hot chocolate, as it's usually my other go-to drink besides for diet lemonade, he knows how to make it quickly, and how i like it.
we walk back to his room, i set the mug on his nightstand.
'do you wanna try sleeping?' he asks.
'yeah.'
he nods. i lay down in his bed and he does too, holding me. he turns off his bedside lamp.
'i love you.' i say quietly.
'i love you too.'
words repeat in my head. some from the argument with mum and some from michael. they're fighting eachother. yelling at eachother. but michael's words are taking over my brain. everything is okay. i am safe with him. and it's true. it's very true.